Head gone

24

Comments

  • slowbike
    slowbike Posts: 8,498
    :) A problem shared is a problem halved - glad you've managed to tell Mrs Tash - wives/husbands can be THE BEST and helping you through - and that's part of what we agree to when getting married - for better, for worse ...

    as for the job - Don't Live to Work ... Work to Live.
  • craigus89
    craigus89 Posts: 887
    That's good news mate! Keep going and don't let work take over your life, it isn't worth it no matter what you earn!
  • fenix
    fenix Posts: 5,437
    Excellent work. I'd also go through your finances and make sure you're planning for the future. If you do it properly you probably won't need to plan to work through til retirement age. Just having a long term plan can help.
  • keef66
    keef66 Posts: 13,123
    Fenix wrote:
    Excellent work. I'd also go through your finances and make sure you're planning for the future. If you do it properly you probably won't need to plan to work through til retirement age. Just having a long term plan can help.

    ^ This. I'm about to do the same thing. Mortgage is thankfully paid off now so we need to work out if we can afford for me to retire a bit earlier while we're still in good health and able to enjoy life a bit. I could certainly do without the ball-ache that my job has become. Maybe I'll jack it in and just do 3 days a week in Halfords...
  • slowbike
    slowbike Posts: 8,498
    keef66 wrote:
    Maybe I'll jack it in and just do 3 days a week in Halfords...
    Don't go into the Bike department ... you'll improve the standards too much ;)
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    Tashman wrote:
    Hi all,
    Just wanted to thank you all again for the support. I've seen the GP which has helped me start a dialogue there. I also opened up to Tashwife. She really is an amazing woman! Not only putting up with me in my usual grump, but also now.

    I'm already looking at getting away from my current organisation as it seems to be the catalyst. Part of my issue was finance driven too, feeling I needed to be at my current grade. I've realised I can take a step back if necessary without significant change.

    I feel good for being off this week, but have trepidation about returning still. It will be a challenge. I've been prescribed beta-blockers but have yet to use them. It may be the return to work is when I may feel I need them.

    Thanks again. Tash

    I'm already looking at getting away from my current organisation as it seems to be the catalyst. Part of my issue was finance driven too, feeling I needed to be at my current grade. I've realised I can take a step back if necessary without significant change.

    Dude - if you don't need to be there get out. Now. You'll feel a bit weird for a few weeks afterwards but then realise that you are far, far better than that place ever could be. You are so much more important that a perceived need to be somewhere/someone.


    but have trepidation about returning still.

    This is only normal. Just head in, keep your head down and down you realise that it is that place causing the problems don't get immersed - take a step sideways and let the others do what they do without involving you. If anyone says anything tell them to go away.

    I've been prescribed beta-blockers but have yet to use them. It may be the return to work is when I may feel I need them.

    B/bs are pretty common and low dosage so no real harm if you do take them - lots of people do, lots of people don't see any difference, however if you don't have to take them don't - they are just as useful to have in a desk drawer as a support.

    Keep it up, keep going, look for something you want to do.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • PhilipPirrip
    PhilipPirrip Posts: 616
    Regarding beta-blockers, a long time since I took any but I remember they affected my potential maximum heart rate when riding, reducing it from 190+bpm to 140bpm. This made cycling a real chore so next time I saw my GP we tried something else within that class of drugs which resolved that side effect.

    Prescribing lists move on so it may no longer be an issue but if you find the meds affecting your cycling do speak to your GP. Cycling can be so beneficial to your physical and mental wellbeing it'd be a shame to sacrifice it.
  • Ben6899
    Ben6899 Posts: 9,686
    Just catching up with this thread.

    Great that you have spoken with your wife and the GP and I'll reiterate that you have the full support of everyone here. I can speak from experience and highly stress that talking (here, with your wife, with mates, with a professional) and exercising are a MASSIVE help. So keep doing both.
    Ben

    Bikes: Donhou DSS4 Custom | Condor Italia RC | Gios Megalite | Dolan Preffisio | Giant Bowery '76
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ben_h_ppcc/
    Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/143173475@N05/
  • Tashman
    Tashman Posts: 3,400
    Back to work yesterday. Seemed OK. Just have to keep on going. Airbourne, birthday and a family weekend of fun ahead
  • Tashman
    Tashman Posts: 3,400
    oh, but Gout now too :(
  • bobmcstuff
    bobmcstuff Posts: 11,196
    Well, exercise is a good preventive measure for gout - all the more reason to get back out on the bike ;)
  • BikerGroveish
    BikerGroveish Posts: 183
    It sounds like you need to get out of that environment. If it’s as bad as you say just hand your notice in and work out your next step whilst working your notice. No job is worth that amount of grief.
  • Tashman
    Tashman Posts: 3,400
    Things moving along, have some interviews lined up now so getting out of here looks a posibility. rode in to the office this morning too. 16.4 miles of head clearing always helps
  • craigus89
    craigus89 Posts: 887
    That is great news mate. Sounds like that might be a huge part of what is causing you this grief!

    Keep pedalling, it does help!
  • slowbike
    slowbike Posts: 8,498
    [insert a thumbs up emoji here]
  • bristolpete
    bristolpete Posts: 2,255
    Great stuff. Good on you for getting support and asking at the right time. I am pleased you did. Funny story but a few years ago, I was in a very similar situation and was getting more and more depressed through work (ex civil servant), weight, life and so on but instead of asking for help I pressed the self destruct button and ended my marriage. I had got so depressed I was at the point where I was constantly buying speaker wire looking for differences in the sound ! Crazy looking back.

    Lost a beautiful family home that I had spent the previous few years of my 20's doing up and by 31 I was renting a flat and by 33 I was living in a room in a rented house with strangers. The net result was that in Spring 2005 I took as huge overdose of over the counter drugs and was in a bad way, but my eldest brother who happened to work nights then contacted me and realised something was wrong. 'Thankfully' he worked things out, arrived at my house with an ambulance and I was in effect rescued, stomach pumped and spent a few days in an 'observation' ward but for about three days I lost the use of my legs which was kinda weird. After all this I took time off, saw a counsellor, worked on what needed to be looked at and tried to get better. Damage done on the whole and I have or never will fully recover, but in many senses I am a much better person in myself now and have more self awareness.

    Well done on getting to where you have got and I am sure like others that you will find light at the end of the tunnel, however long it may be.

    Pete.
  • Tashman
    Tashman Posts: 3,400
    bristolpete wrote:
    Great stuff. Good on you for getting support and asking at the right time. I am pleased you did. Funny story but a few years ago, I was in a very similar situation and was getting more and more depressed through work (ex civil servant), weight, life and so on but instead of asking for help I pressed the self destruct button and ended my marriage. I had got so depressed I was at the point where I was constantly buying speaker wire looking for differences in the sound ! Crazy looking back.

    Lost a beautiful family home that I had spent the previous few years of my 20's doing up and by 31 I was renting a flat and by 33 I was living in a room in a rented house with strangers. The net result was that in Spring 2005 I took as huge overdose of over the counter drugs and was in a bad way, but my eldest brother who happened to work nights then contacted me and realised something was wrong. 'Thankfully' he worked things out, arrived at my house with an ambulance and I was in effect rescued, stomach pumped and spent a few days in an 'observation' ward but for about three days I lost the use of my legs which was kinda weird. After all this I took time off, saw a counsellor, worked on what needed to be looked at and tried to get better. Damage done on the whole and I have or never will fully recover, but in many senses I am a much better person in myself now and have more self awareness.

    Well done on getting to where you have got and I am sure like others that you will find light at the end of the tunnel, however long it may be.

    Pete.
    Thanks Pete,

    glad to hear you're in a better place too. It's amazing how having just a few people looking out for you can make the world of difference. I now know I can talk with my wife when it gets bad, and also have an appointment with the in-house counselling service here at work next week as well as a colleague who I'm friends with I know has been through similar.
  • bristolpete
    bristolpete Posts: 2,255
    Tashman wrote:
    bristolpete wrote:
    Great stuff. Good on you for getting support and asking at the right time. I am pleased you did. Funny story but a few years ago, I was in a very similar situation and was getting more and more depressed through work (ex civil servant), weight, life and so on but instead of asking for help I pressed the self destruct button and ended my marriage. I had got so depressed I was at the point where I was constantly buying speaker wire looking for differences in the sound ! Crazy looking back.

    Lost a beautiful family home that I had spent the previous few years of my 20's doing up and by 31 I was renting a flat and by 33 I was living in a room in a rented house with strangers. The net result was that in Spring 2005 I took as huge overdose of over the counter drugs and was in a bad way, but my eldest brother who happened to work nights then contacted me and realised something was wrong. 'Thankfully' he worked things out, arrived at my house with an ambulance and I was in effect rescued, stomach pumped and spent a few days in an 'observation' ward but for about three days I lost the use of my legs which was kinda weird. After all this I took time off, saw a counsellor, worked on what needed to be looked at and tried to get better. Damage done on the whole and I have or never will fully recover, but in many senses I am a much better person in myself now and have more self awareness.

    Well done on getting to where you have got and I am sure like others that you will find light at the end of the tunnel, however long it may be.

    Pete.
    Thanks Pete,

    glad to hear you're in a better place too. It's amazing how having just a few people looking out for you can make the world of difference. I now know I can talk with my wife when it gets bad, and also have an appointment with the in-house counselling service here at work next week as well as a colleague who I'm friends with I know has been through similar.

    Great. Skilled listeners can make a difference as most including friends and family retort with their own anecdotal experiences on life rather than let you talk about how YOU feel. In 2005 I complained to my counsellor that during my illness, my Mum had never been to visit my flat nor dropped in. She asked me "have you called her and invited her over for a coffee ?". I was like "eh? you what ? sorry - what ?" You could have hit me over with a feather but in an instant a simple reminder that communication is a two way thing and talking is great. Good luck with it all and keep us posted.
  • Tashman
    Tashman Posts: 3,400
    Saw the internal HELP service here this morning. Was very useful. I found that she covered everything I expected in terms of subject, but also delved further back than I expected. I have 5 further sessions. Talking helps people. Breathing too!
  • sam_anon
    sam_anon Posts: 153
    Tashman wrote:
    I'm finding that as I walk in to my office currently it is having a physical effect on me. It makes me nauseaus. last night i barely ate and took myself to bed at 8. I occasionally lock myself in the toilets at work fir up to an hour to avoid work. If I didn't have a family I may even have taken the ultimate avoiding step.
    Can anyone point me in a direction of someone/somewhere I can get some help. I know I need a new job but right now I'm not sure I'd present an employable face!

    TIA

    Depending on where you live you can also refer yourself for online CBT therapy. Good look whichever route you take.
  • shirley_basso
    shirley_basso Posts: 6,195
    Tashman wrote:
    Saw the internal HELP service here this morning. Was very useful. I found that she covered everything I expected in terms of subject, but also delved further back than I expected. I have 5 further sessions. Talking helps people. Breathing too!

    This is really really good news. I can't imagine what it's like to be in your position but it I am really pleased hear that you seem to be getting good help.
  • keef66
    keef66 Posts: 13,123
    Tashman wrote:
    Saw the internal HELP service here this morning. Was very useful. I found that she covered everything I expected in terms of subject, but also delved further back than I expected. I have 5 further sessions. Talking helps people. Breathing too!

    Great to hear. Make the most of it and have as many sessions as you can get. You can explore stuff with a stranger that you might think twice about sharing with a loved one. And hopefully you'll identify some way of changing either the situation you find yourself in, or the way you respond to it.

    CBT is useful but I find it really hard work. If you want to change the mental habits of a lifetime you need to be vigilant and do it 24-7. It's pretty thought-provoking stuff though.
  • Big Irish fella
    Big Irish fella Posts: 1
    Get medical help.
    Talk about your problems.
    Don't be ashamed to admit that you aren't doing great.
    Get exercise, proven to release endorphins and make you feel better.
  • handful
    handful Posts: 920
    Not wishing to hijack the thread or a anything but I could see some very familiar thoughts and feelings to what I've experienced this year. I have always had a stressful job but the last couple of years have become "stupid" with regard to hours and pressure to the point I was looking around for something else on the advice of the OH, family and friends. Then I suffered the loss of my mum back in May which was really tough. Then I had a health scare (suspected prostate cancer) which resulted in several weeks of waiting for an MRI followed by a biopsy followed by another wait for the results. Thankfully and to my massive relief the test proved negative but that really took it's toll on me.

    Just as this was happening I was given some choices at work, one of which was redundancy. although it's a scary proposition being out of work in my mid 50s I have chosen that option as it will buy me some time to have a break and find something else and sort my head out. I have always thought myself to be a calm person that can handle pressure very well but I have to admit things were getting on top of me, much like you. I'm only 1 week into being "unemployed" so far but loving every minute and adapting to it quite nicely. It's just a shame about the time of year after such a fantastic summer!

    My message is really to hang on in there and keep doing what you're doing, talk and don't let things continue the way they are. Well done for what you've achieved so far in your journey. Take care.
    Vaaru Titanium Sram Red eTap
    Moda Chord with drop bars and Rival shifters - winter/do it all bike
    Orbea Rise
  • keef66
    keef66 Posts: 13,123
    @ handful; I'm in a similar position but a bit older than you. Just don't seem to be able to cope with the amount of work I used to and I find it harder to make decisions so I put things off which only makes things worse and adds to the stress. The company is going through the after effects of a large acquisition in the next 18 months so I'm hanging on in there and hoping for an opportunity for redundancy or early retirement without buggering up my pension.

    Quite fancy working a couple of days a week in Halfords TBH...
  • slowbike
    slowbike Posts: 8,498
    keef66 wrote:
    Quite fancy working a couple of days a week in Halfords TBH...
    advising on sound systems and sat navs? ;)
  • handful
    handful Posts: 920
    keef66 wrote:
    @ handful; I'm in a similar position but a bit older than you. Just don't seem to be able to cope with the amount of work I used to and I find it harder to make decisions so I put things off which only makes things worse and adds to the stress. The company is going through the after effects of a large acquisition in the next 18 months so I'm hanging on in there and hoping for an opportunity for redundancy or early retirement without buggering up my pension.

    Quite fancy working a couple of days a week in Halfords TBH...

    My company have just gone through being taken over by a large US based company and I really don't buy in to some of the things they are doing, hence some of my frustration. I worked for them for nearly 12 years though so hard to break the emotional attachment to the job! I'm still getting work emails etc at the moment and can't resist taking a peek so will be better once I get cut off completely!

    Good luck with your situation, these things do have a habit of working out how you want if you believe it with enough conviction! Or at least that's what I'm telling myself!
    Vaaru Titanium Sram Red eTap
    Moda Chord with drop bars and Rival shifters - winter/do it all bike
    Orbea Rise
  • keef66
    keef66 Posts: 13,123
    Slowbike wrote:
    keef66 wrote:
    Quite fancy working a couple of days a week in Halfords TBH...
    advising on sound systems and sat navs? ;)

    I was thinking mainly of the staff discount, but I'm sure I could skillfully guide a potential buyer away from the cheaper items to the stuff that earns me more commission :D
  • slowbike
    slowbike Posts: 8,498
    keef66 wrote:
    Slowbike wrote:
    keef66 wrote:
    Quite fancy working a couple of days a week in Halfords TBH...
    advising on sound systems and sat navs? ;)

    I was thinking mainly of the staff discount, but I'm sure I could skillfully guide a potential buyer away from the cheaper items to the stuff that earns me more commission :D

    Or you could sell an Apollo bike! :o
  • keef66
    keef66 Posts: 13,123
    Slowbike wrote:
    keef66 wrote:
    Slowbike wrote:
    keef66 wrote:
    Quite fancy working a couple of days a week in Halfords TBH...
    advising on sound systems and sat navs? ;)

    I was thinking mainly of the staff discount, but I'm sure I could skillfully guide a potential buyer away from the cheaper items to the stuff that earns me more commission :D

    Or you could sell an Apollo bike! :o

    Not sure I could cope with the guilt...

Categories