Head gone

Tashman

I'm finding that as I walk in to my office currently it is having a physical effect on me. It makes me nauseaus. last night i barely ate and took myself to bed at 8. I occasionally lock myself in the toilets at work fir up to an hour to avoid work. If I didn't have a family I may even have taken the ultimate avoiding step.
Can anyone point me in a direction of someone/somewhere I can get some help. I know I need a new job but right now I'm not sure I'd present an employable face!

TIA

imposter2.0

Samaritans mate - call them now - 116 123

or CALM - 0800 58 58 58

fenix

Or your doctor. Or does your employer have any kind of careline ?

You need to take a break from the job if it's affecting you like this.

Good luck with it. I know plenty of people at my place have had to take time off to get better.

kingstongraham

If you've medical insurance, them or GP. Get referral to at least a talking therapy.

haydenm

Your GP will help, they'll know exactly who to put you in touch with. A proper diagnosis will help you manage things and may have things that can help that you hadn't even thought of. They'll certainly help you get signed off if you need some time off anyway. I'm always pretty nervous about calling the GP but it's far better once you get there, they are probably relieved it's not another mangy foot or something! Get well soon

lostboysaint

All of that covers anything I'd have said. Fundamental one is to get on to your GP - emergency appointment - and get yourself referred for counselling. If you have private health care then use that to fund it, otherwise push hard for a very early appointment - they are out there.

bobmcstuff

Can't add anything to the above, all sounds good advice, but just to say good luck.

Let us know how you get on!

Matthewfalle

Don't know your background but if ex-military 0800 323 4444 - Combat Stress.

Just remember the priorities in life - you, family, friends. Stuff everything else.

If you need to get out of that place do it - there's always a means to getting things paid and sorted. You are far too important.

GP can refer you but also look put for private counsellors. If you have a faith then church or whatever.

deano802

I know the feeling mate, currently not sleeping very well due to work stress and feel a bit trapped. Does your partner know, I actually felt a lot of relief when I talked to mine about it, even though I put it off fit a very long time, I am lucky that she was very understanding and supporting.

I like to get out on my bike and ride an hour as hard as possible twice midweek after work to clear my mind. Tend to feel much better next morning.

I'm not an expert, all I can say is try and keep your chin up it will find a way of working itself out, and stay well clear of booze if that is an issue for you, as it is for me.

keef66

Been there myself.
Phone the Samaritans
Excuse yourself from work.
Go to your GP and don't leave till somebody's seen you.
Take any meds they prescribe; that may be as much as you're able to manage right now.
Oh, and talk to your other half.

Take as much time off work as you need. You're ill and you need time to recover. Don't for a minute feel guilty. Ride your bike a lot.

But as soon as you feel up to any kind of talking therapy, get the doc to refer you for some. And take advantage of any kind of support your employer provides

Tashman

Thanks all for the replies and supportive words. I'll contact my GP and take it from there.

I've not spoken to anyone about it, I guess the relative anonymity here helped me to post!

Also not found time to ride recently with family/events/weather/allotment all seeming to take precedent. Not sure how to broach it with Tashwife TBH.

Tashman

Matthewfalle wrote:

Don't know your background but if ex-military 0800 323 4444 - Combat Stress.

Just remember the priorities in life - you, family, friends. Stuff everything else.

If you need to get out of that place do it - there's always a means to getting things paid and sorted. You are far too important.

GP can refer you but also look put for private counsellors. If you have a faith then church or whatever.

Thanks, not military directly but a sprog, so I've seen the effects (Dad's regiment was on The Gallahad - Falklands) but I hope someone may find that detail useful. I rode the L2B for them last year too.

CptKernow

Talking about it here is a good first step. Talking to a "real" person about it would be a good next step. Things will often feel a lot better when you know you have some support.

Worst thing you can do is keep it to yourself and just get feedback from your own thoughts...

fenix

Definitely helps to talk about things.

keef66

Tashman wrote:

Thanks all for the replies and supportive words. I'll contact my GP and take it from there.

I've not spoken to anyone about it, I guess the relative anonymity here helped me to post!

Also not found time to ride recently with family/events/weather/allotment all seeming to take precedent. Not sure how to broach it with Tashwife TBH.

That last bit is the hardest. But probably the most important. Try if you can to put to one side the job, the money, and fear / guilt around feeling responsible for providing for your family, and just tell her exactly how it is making you feel. Be honest, don't sugar coat it, explain you're at very rock bottom (which may come as a surprise if, like many, you've been trying to pretend everything's OK)

Tell her you're taking some sick leave from work
You've been to the doctors and they've said you're suffering from depression / whatever
You've (very likely) been prescribed some antidepressants and referred to a mental health specialist / counsellor
And take it from there...

Good luck. And make the time to ride your bike.

deano802

It is all good advice and no right or wrong way to go about this, but in my experience talking to the Mrs first was a huge help for me it actually made us stronger and argue less, woman can be very good at supporting and helping fix things in a more emotional less manly mechanical way. We came up with a plan sorted some things out and i found a way to stay positive and get through without the need for any further help, but would def go for extra help if needed . I really think you should discuss together before going to drs without telling her etc.

veronese68

Nothing I can add to the above really, all good advice. As said, please don't suffer alone and get some help.
Don't forget this:

keef66 wrote:

Take as much time off work as you need. You're ill and you need time to recover. Don't for a minute feel guilty.

I know what you mean about the anonymity on here making it easier to say something. Good luck with everything and don't hesitate to shout if you need any more support.

slowbike

censored ...

assuming everything is ok with Tashwife - tell her ... Your parents still around - tell them ...

heck - if it makes you feel better - create a new account here and post about it...

don't suffer in silence ...

bigmitch41

This takes balls Tashman, good for you for raising it, loads of good advice too! Best of luck to you.

Mitch

BelgianBeerGeek

Good advice above. Do not suffer in silence, it may get worse if you do. Take time off work. I'm no HR expert (I do manage staff, though) but you can self-certify for seven days to at least get away from work. Then see your GP immediately, even if it means camping out in the surgery.
Good luck and best wishes.

slowbike

If you happen to get knocked back from the GP - don't worry - it's just one persons opinion - and sometimes they're not open to issues that you'd think they should be. We've had this with a specific GP for issues with our little one - having spoken with friends and neighbours, it's not unusual - we've learnt to avoid him as the practice doesn't seem to want to deal with it.

But anyway - if you do get a knockback, don't panic and don't worry - there are people who want to help - it's just a matter of getting in contact with one.

Tashman

Thanks again everyone, I'm seeing a GP tomorrow morning and will go from there. Still not found a way of broaching it with Tashwife, always seems to be something happening.

craigus89

Tashman wrote:

Thanks again everyone, I'm seeing a GP tomorrow morning and will go from there. Still not found a way of broaching it with Tashwife, always seems to be something happening.

Mate, I've been through something similar which I won't go into now, but telling the Mrs was the best thing I could have done.

I think it's like when you're a kid and you're terrified of telling your parents something because you think they will freak out, but when you do it's nowhere near as bad as you thought it would be.

If she loves you she will want to help you. How would you respond to her if she told you she had a big health problem. She can support you through it and there is no better person to talk to than a loved one who knows you well.

All the best.

slowbike

Tashman wrote:

Thanks again everyone, I'm seeing a GP tomorrow morning and will go from there. Still not found a way of broaching it with Tashwife, always seems to be something happening.

Kids? - get a grandparent/friend/neighbour to look out for them for 1/2 hr - you and Mrs Tash go for a walk. Sounds easy - I know it's not ...

slowbike

Craigus89 wrote:

She can support you through it and there is no better person to talk to than a loved one who knows you well.

All the best.

There's very few people in this world I'd trust with my life..

top of the list come - Wife & Parents - doesn't matter how bad - be honest and open - if you've done something wrong they may call you an idiot - but they still love you and they're the best people to help you.

StillGoing

I went through a phase of PTSD (it never leaves) as a result of a traumatic incident. I was fortunate in that I recognised the cause of my repeated PTSD and knew that the only chance of even remotely getting through it, was to take away the cause. My job. I was again fortunate that the day I walked out of the office after telling the boss what I thought of him in front of a room full of staff, I went straight to my GP, who instantly signed me off on long term sick with stress and depression. I never went back after it was agreed I was being genuine and would always suffer in that environment. I've been away from it now for just over 4 years and whilst I was able to retire on a full pension making the independence easier, it may not be so simplistic for others. I can say though, that removing the cause has indeed helped me. I still have moments, but nothing like as bad as it used to be.

So, before you do something that may get you the sack, see your GP and ask to be referred to a Psychiatric specialist or counselling. You may or may not require medication to adjust the chemical imbalance, but, they are the ones who will know.

svetty

Lots of good advice above. Try and spend some time doing the things that you enjoy - it will help you to get a wider perspective and put you in tune with times when you felt better. If this means getting out on the bike then take the time to do it - consider it as part of the therapy and a tool to get you back to where you want to be psychologically.

Tashman

Hi all,
Just wanted to thank you all again for the support. I've seen the GP which has helped me start a dialogue there. I also opened up to Tashwife. She really is an amazing woman! Not only putting up with me in my usual grump, but also now.

I'm already looking at getting away from my current organisation as it seems to be the catalyst. Part of my issue was finance driven too, feeling I needed to be at my current grade. I've realised I can take a step back if necessary without significant change.

I feel good for being off this week, but have trepidation about returning still. It will be a challenge. I've been prescribed beta-blockers but have yet to use them. It may be the return to work is when I may feel I need them.

Thanks again. Tash

veronese68

Good news, sounds like things are heading in the right direction.

shirley_basso

Great news Tashman.

lostboysaint

Excellent news. And good for feeling that you don't need the prescription yet.