Seemingly trivial things that cheer you up

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  • BelgianBeerGeek
    BelgianBeerGeek Posts: 5,226
    Every week lately I've been staying in a different apartment block/hotel. Called up the list of wi-fi networks to connect and rather than the usual V65THELS397-5G or some such, one was named "Y'ALL NEEEED JESUS".
    Jesus: I’m flipping dying here. Send me a 6pack of cold beer. Should do the trick.
    Ecrasez l’infame
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 61,488
    Every week lately I've been staying in a different apartment block/hotel. Called up the list of wi-fi networks to connect and rather than the usual V65THELS397-5G or some such, one was named "Y'ALL NEEEED JESUS".
    WS, you're not by any chance working in the US?
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • haydenm
    haydenm Posts: 2,997
    Veronese68 wrote:
    HaydenM wrote:
    Watching TV programmes which are meant to be set in a certain time period and loudly commenting on the presence of tree species which wouldn't have been imported yet. I do it just to wind the GF up but it's well worth it
    I hate to inform you of this, but I suspect you're as much of a knob as I am. :lol:
    Couldn't do that on tree species but that is definitely the kind of thing I do. The other one that I picked up from my old man is that when the wife is watching a particularly emotional bit on telly I remind her that they're only pretending.

    Haha excellent. Whenever anything remotely romantic happens on TV I lean over and whisper "it's willy time" in her ear, or make fisting gestures with my hands. Needless to say she bloody hates it...

    The other thing that makes me chuckle is when she says things about the obvious villains like "Urgh I hate that *insert character name here, he's horrible", I congratulate her on picking up on the obvious.

    I'm amazed shes still with me
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,823
    edited July 2018
    HaydenM wrote:
    I'm amazed shes still with me
    Imagine how I feel after 23 years of marriage :lol:

    This, completely unrelated, video makes me laugh every time I see it.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0hugf6bIXQ
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,463
    The announcement voice on Paris Metro trains. Just says the name of the station slightly uncertainly then it sounds like she’s gone to double check before coming back a few seconds later more confidently.
  • cowsham
    cowsham Posts: 1,399
    Getting the word "styrofoam" (a nine ) while watching countdown today.
  • lostboysaint
    lostboysaint Posts: 4,250
    Cowsham wrote:
    Getting the word "styrofoam" (a nine ) while watching countdown today.

    Are you a student? F@@k off to work.*

    *and leave Rachel to me.
    Trail fun - Transition Bandit
    Road - Wilier Izoard Centaur/Cube Agree C62 Disc
    Allround - Cotic Solaris
  • cowsham
    cowsham Posts: 1,399
    Cowsham wrote:
    Getting the word "styrofoam" (a nine ) while watching countdown today.

    Are you a student? F@@k off to work.*

    *and leave Rachel to me.

    Off today and Rachel was very distracting so even more cause for my feeling smug

    Your main accomplishment today probably involved still being able to crack one off before the end of the show at your age.
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    the bloke who was too lazy to stand up to drink his coffee outside at the coffee shop in town today so decide to sit on a plastic table belonging to the shop next door that had some items for sale on it.

    oh how the MFs laughed when the table collapsed leaving him on his back side and an irate shop owner heading towards him.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,463
    Driving on the A1 by CdG Airport under the taxiway with a plane travelling above.
  • FishFish
    FishFish Posts: 2,152
    Veronese68 wrote:
    HaydenM wrote:
    Watching TV programmes which are meant to be set in a certain time period and loudly commenting on the presence of tree species which wouldn't have been imported yet. I do it just to wind the GF up but it's well worth it
    I hate to inform you of this, but I suspect you're as much of a knob as I am. :lol:
    ...take your pickelf on your holibobs.... :D

    jeez :roll:
  • FishFish
    FishFish Posts: 2,152
    I don't believe you.
    ...take your pickelf on your holibobs.... :D

    jeez :roll:
  • keef66
    keef66 Posts: 13,123
    HaydenM wrote:
    Watching TV programmes which are meant to be set in a certain time period and loudly commenting on the presence of tree species which wouldn't have been imported yet. I do it just to wind the GF up but it's well worth it

    I do the same for anything agricultural. Precision drilling and tramlines, crops that wouldn't have been around in 1600, big round bales in the distance etc Infantile I know, but I can't help myself. :D
  • cowsham
    cowsham Posts: 1,399
    Watching the signing for the deaf woman on the repeat of lethal weapon ( which was on after Senna and not what I'd normally want to watch ) looking up at the picture with a very worried look on her face during a fight scene wincing at each blow.
  • keef66
    keef66 Posts: 13,123
    That may sound trivial to you, but our neighbour, true to his word, has had his massive eucalyptus tree removed. There are no words to describe how happy this has made us. We sent round some wine and chocolates.

    It had blighted our lives for years. The previous owner refused to even cut it back, and at one point we paid to have the biggest overhanging branches removed. It was about a metre from the fence, and to the south of our garden, so it was casting ever denser shade with each passing year. The thing was colossal. And there was no time in the year when it wasn't showering our garden with some kind of crap, but it was at it's worst in the summer. Tons of leaves which don't rot, were hard to sweep up, but if left wet stained the paving. Great strand of bark, random twigs and branches, and the several different components from it's flowering and fruiting cycle. Fluffy stuff that got everywhere including in our food if eating outside, tiny little razor sharp hubcap shaped things and pointy little seeds which were very painful to walk on and insinuated themselves into the lawn / borders / veg patch. And none of this stuff seemed to decompose easily. And to top it all off we'd have the lawn covered in bees when they fell seemingly intoxicated after feeding on the flowers, and the incessant, year-round rain of pigeon shite.

    To be fair to them, unlike the tree, they've only been there a while, and rarely used the garden. But once they had their first child they realised just how antisocial it was. The tree, not the child. So we are enjoying a suddenly sunny garden, and freedom from the tyranny of constant sweeping and cleaning up. It's absolutely fcuking brilliant!!
  • robert88
    robert88 Posts: 2,696
    keef66 wrote:
    HaydenM wrote:
    Watching TV programmes which are meant to be set in a certain time period and loudly commenting on the presence of tree species which wouldn't have been imported yet. I do it just to wind the GF up but it's well worth it

    I do the same for anything agricultural. Precision drilling and tramlines, crops that wouldn't have been around in 1600, big round bales in the distance etc Infantile I know, but I can't help myself. :D

    I look for things which should be there but aren't. For example when watching stuff in the 18th/19th century.

    In those days look out to sea and there would be a panorama of sailing vessels of varying shapes and sizes. Nowadays of course the panorama is more likely to be wind farms (which I quite like, especially as Trump doesn't) but no sailing vessels. Where have they all gone?
  • keef66 wrote:
    That may sound trivial to you, but our neighbour, true to his word, has had his massive eucalyptus tree removed. There are no words to describe how happy this has made us. We sent round some wine and chocolates.

    It had blighted our lives for years. The previous owner refused to even cut it back, and at one point we paid to have the biggest overhanging branches removed. It was about a metre from the fence, and to the south of our garden, so it was casting ever denser shade with each passing year. The thing was colossal. And there was no time in the year when it wasn't showering our garden with some kind of crap, but it was at it's worst in the summer. Tons of leaves which don't rot, were hard to sweep up, but if left wet stained the paving. Great strand of bark, random twigs and branches, and the several different components from it's flowering and fruiting cycle. Fluffy stuff that got everywhere including in our food if eating outside, tiny little razor sharp hubcap shaped things and pointy little seeds which were very painful to walk on and insinuated themselves into the lawn / borders / veg patch. And none of this stuff seemed to decompose easily. And to top it all off we'd have the lawn covered in bees when they fell seemingly intoxicated after feeding on the flowers, and the incessant, year-round rain of pigeon shite.

    To be fair to them, unlike the tree, they've only been there a while, and rarely used the garden. But once they had their first child they realised just how antisocial it was. The tree, not the child. So we are enjoying a suddenly sunny garden, and freedom from the tyranny of constant sweeping and cleaning up. It's absolutely fcuking brilliant!!

    ask for the logs and you will be even happier
  • keef66
    keef66 Posts: 13,123
    I'd have asked for some chunks if we could have stored and seasoned them properly. Good summer to do it as well, but sadly we don't have the room. Would have been quite satisfying watching them in the logburner next Christmas.

    Just glad to see the back of the thing TBH
  • rolf_f
    rolf_f Posts: 16,015
    keef's post cheers me up.
    Faster than a tent.......
  • haydenm
    haydenm Posts: 2,997
    keef66 wrote:
    I'd have asked for some chunks if we could have stored and seasoned them properly. Good summer to do it as well, but sadly we don't have the room. Would have been quite satisfying watching them in the logburner next Christmas.

    Just glad to see the back of the thing TBH

    Thank god its a wood burner not an open fire!
  • robert88
    robert88 Posts: 2,696
    Not the best timber for woodburners due to its high resin content.

    Eucalyptus trees are excellent at draining swampy ground and it's quite likely there'll be some soil heave which is only a problem if it near building foundations.
  • Robert88 wrote:
    Not the best timber for woodburners due to its high resin content.

    Eucalyptus trees are excellent at draining swampy ground and it's quite likely there'll be some soil heave which is only a problem if it near building foundations.

    buy it off a Polish builder after he has dried it for three years and it is the best wood I have ever burnt
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,602
    It burns. It's what gets deposited in your flue that may be an issue.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • keef66
    keef66 Posts: 13,123
    Robert88 wrote:
    Not the best timber for woodburners due to its high resin content.

    Eucalyptus trees are excellent at draining swampy ground and it's quite likely there'll be some soil heave which is only a problem if it near building foundations.

    Having spent the GDP of a small country on having the thing installed I wasn't about to bugger the flue by suddenly switching to burning exclusively damp, resinous eucalyptus. I might have burnt the odd log as an act of revenge though, but when we came home from a rare shopping trip, all they'd left behind was a bit of sawdust!

    Andl we're on about 4 feet of sand overlying chalk, and halfway up a hill, so there's not much danger of swampy ground or soil heave. There is one conspicuous root which has grown under our path and lifted it a bit before surfacing in the lawn. That's all going to be dug out come the autumn. It will be interesting to see how much better things grow with access to light and without that thirsty b@stard sucking hundreds of litres of water a day...
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    Brazilian footballerist's names

    Fred (Manure)
    Arthur (Barca)
    Malcom (Barca)

    Rocking.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • rjsterry wrote:
    It burns. It's what gets deposited in your flue that may be an issue.

    Three years old there is no sappy stuff left. Think of all the softwood the Scandinavians burn without buying their houses down.
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,602
    rjsterry wrote:
    It burns. It's what gets deposited in your flue that may be an issue.

    Three years old there is no sappy stuff left. Think of all the softwood the Scandinavians burn without buying their houses down.
    The moisture evaporates, but not the resin. The stuff the Scandinavians burn is cut in winter when the sap content is at its lowest. And a lot of what they burn is birch. It won't burn the house down but you will get a lot of tar build up.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • capt_slog
    capt_slog Posts: 3,974
    Robert88 wrote:
    keef66 wrote:
    HaydenM wrote:
    Watching TV programmes which are meant to be set in a certain time period and loudly commenting on the presence of tree species which wouldn't have been imported yet. I do it just to wind the GF up but it's well worth it

    I do the same for anything agricultural. Precision drilling and tramlines, crops that wouldn't have been around in 1600, big round bales in the distance etc Infantile I know, but I can't help myself. :D

    I look for things which should be there but aren't. For example when watching stuff in the 18th/19th century.

    Yeh, me too :oops: My favourite is a horse and trap going along lanes with grass down the middle, which I suppose the locations team though looked authentic. Except they aren't.

    Lanes which had horses on had two lines of grass in the middle of the road. No grass grew where the wheels ran, but neither did it grow where the (usually) single horse went.
    Yeh, I know, I'll get my coat......


    But before I go...

    An advert is cheering me up lately, the Aviva one where he says he's seen a horse wearing a skirt and a tin man. Brilliant :lol:


    The older I get, the better I was.

  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,602
    There was an aerial shot of a clearly modern road going across a moor in last Sunday's Poldark.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • rjsterry wrote:
    rjsterry wrote:
    It burns. It's what gets deposited in your flue that may be an issue.

    Three years old there is no sappy stuff left. Think of all the softwood the Scandinavians burn without buying their houses down.
    The moisture evaporates, but not the resin. The stuff the Scandinavians burn is cut in winter when the sap content is at its lowest. And a lot of what they burn is birch. It won't burn the house down but you will get a lot of tar build up.

    seems to be a lack of consensus on sap content in logs a few years old. either way you have persuaded me to get the chimney swept