Dumbest thing you've heard in a bike shop

GiantMike

bdu98252 wrote:

I am quite amused that people think that they should receive a well informed opinion and excellent technical advice from a bike shop employee.

If somebody takes my £2000 bike in for a repair I expect him/her to be competent to fix it.

bdu98252 wrote:

You pays your money you get your staff as a general rule.

That works well as long as the shop sign says: 'Dave Bike's. Sold and repaired by idiots on minimum wage so you may want to go somewhere else and save yourself a lot of hassle'

Not all bike shops are rubbish, which is why it's hilarious that some choose to employ idiots, and hilarious to hear what idiotic things these idiots say.

GiantMike

dynamicbrick wrote:

Not dumb, but just... I dunno... head in hands. Just got off the phone to the LBS;
Me: "Hello, I've done the cyclesheme thing this year, you're a partner aren't you?"
LBS: "Yup... what are you thinking of getting?"
Me: "Done a grand of vouchers. Fancy a crosser. I see you do Felt"
LBS: "Nah, we stopped them, they're shoot"
Me: Hung up, went somewhere else

How the conversation shoud have gone

dynamicbrick

GiantMike wrote:

dynamicbrick wrote:

Not dumb, but just... I dunno... head in hands. Just got off the phone to the LBS;
Me: "Hello, I've done the cyclesheme thing this year, you're a partner aren't you?"
LBS: "Yup... what are you thinking of getting?"
Me: "Done a grand of vouchers. Fancy a crosser. I see you do Felt"
LBS: "Nah, we stopped them, they're shoot"
Me: Hung up, went somewhere else

How the conversation shoud have gone

Oh I agree, but I wanted to hear his opinion on the other crossers out there.

chrisaonabike

Ok, so I was in Halfords just now, just to smell the tyres, mind, and the 'helpful' lad who looks like he's only just been released back into the community asks if he can help. So I ask him if he has any Conti 4 Seasons, just on the offchance they had some on offer, and there aren't any.

So I turn to leave and then on a whim, turn back and ask him ....

"I've heard you're going to be stocking Pinarello, is that right?"

"Eh?"

"Pinarello, just wondering if you were going to get any?"

(frowns, screws up eyes)

"Um, Pin?"

(turns in anguish to his manager, who comes over swiftly, and unlike his minion, has at least heard of Pinarello...)

Well it made me laugh anyway. Bike shop guy hasn't heard of Pinarello - you couldn't make it up. Yes I know, Halfords isn't really a bike shop.

Do Pinarello know that?

mouth

kieranb wrote:

kinda agree with you, there are so many different type of bike, and within each general type so many different standards of component etc. Not every bike shop can afford to employ a 'Sheldon Brown' type character.

See your point but when i worked in retail (fashion, sports, petrol station - not all the same place i might add) the suppliers/manufacturers went to very great lengths to ensure we knew what we were talking about. Remember the Reebok DMX shoes? Two-day seminar - expensed. Nike Shox was basically the same. When I worked in the petrol station we used to get a rep visit at least once a week for something or other to make sure we were 'up' on market forces as well as regular mystery shoppers for various products to test our ongoing knowledge.

Do the bike manufacturers just not bother with any of this stuff? Or are they really happy for their retailers to be giving their products a bad press and turn a blind eye?

The referenced Sheldon Brown type characters is something that only comes from millions of hours working in the trade but it seems as though Trek, Spesh etc could be helping a little bit more.

Oh yeah, I didn't hear this In a bike shop, but ABOUT a bike shop. Apparently Halfords now sell Pinarello. All this shoot about them melting in the rain could now be true if it gets built by a Bike Hut muppet.

Bozman

Dumb but didn't turn out that dumb after all - A few months back my BB30 bearings needed replacing so I popped into my LBS which I've used for years, I asked if he had any and could they do the job because I didn't have the tools, the owner gave me the part no and told me to go to BTP and buy them over the counter because they're cheaper and probably a better quality, fair enough but what about removal and installation?
Knock them out but support your frame while you do it, knock the new ones in.... If you struggle pop in and I'll use a headset press........... Err ok.

Walked out thinking that the guy had lost his marbles, I mentioned it to my mate that evening and he does the same and it may not be good practice but it works.


Really dumb advice - needed a headset for a Trek 1500slr, the Trek dealer had no idea what headset was required and suggested that I take a plaster cast of the head tube and go from there. One short call to trek and I had the part number and I'd ordered the headset.

luv2ride

In a shop from a respectable chain operating in the south west, asking for advice on a potential new (carbon) bike purchase:
Me: "so what would you recommend for sportives and training? I'm after reasonable comfort, rather than a really racy ride."
LBS: "I tell you what you don't want; don't go near Boardman or Ribble carbon frames. They seem great value but cut them in half and they are mainly plastic, not carbon. I've seen it...utter rubbish"

He might even have been right, but I was really put off by the way he started off by rubbishing the competition before we really got down to the options he had available...

CiB

Not a bike shop but it made me smile.

Watching the football scores come in this afternoon in a Sony shop and I hear the conversation between the staff going on behind me...

"Are the highlights on tonight on ITV?"

"Yeah - in HD too"

"HD? Will it be on in 4K as well?"

I left. You'd think they'd know surely.

ben@31

Luv2ride wrote:

LBS: "I tell you what you don't want; don't go near Boardman or Ribble carbon frames. They seem great value but cut them in half and they are mainly plastic, not carbon. I've seen it...utter rubbish"

:shock: What does he mean cut them in half? I've never felt the urge to cut my bike frame in half. I've never seen it.

Is it some figure of speech or is he a big fan of home-made unicycles?

I wouldn't mind if a frame was plastic, though. Could be worse.

shouldbeinbed

Got a C2W bike via Chris Paulson in Rochdale. Picked it up and within 50 yards the rear tyre had blown off the rim in quite spectacular fashion. back it went, left it with them.

got the call, 3 days later:

CP: Hi you can come and get your bike, its sorted out now.
me: ok cheers, what was it?
CP: well sometimes the rims and the tyres aren't quite the right size, thats what's happened, we've put another layer of rim tape in, its spot on now.
me: *deafened by the sound of alarm bells ringing* er, ok, are you sure?
CP: yes seen it loads of times, this always fixes it.

I go in & pick up the bike, tyre nice and firm, rides off, 1/4 of a mile down the road (busy dual carriageway, 5pm) *BANG* thr tyre is flapping and the tube in shreds as I wobble to a barely controlled upright stop.

I walked it home and took the tyre off to see that there was a huge fault with 5 inches of rim clincher beading missing, not ripped off, simply never there in the first place, the rubber was smooth to the edge and still sealed over it.

Schwalbe had a brand new tyre out to me free of charge within a couple of days. Never been back to Paulsons since.

incidentally they also never offered the usual new bike 6 week cable stretch servicing at any time from purchase through this debacle.

cougie

Luv2ride wrote:

In a shop from a respectable chain operating in the south west, asking for advice on a potential new (carbon) bike purchase:
Me: "so what would you recommend for sportives and training? I'm after reasonable comfort, rather than a really racy ride."
LBS: "I tell you what you don't want; don't go near Boardman or Ribble carbon frames. They seem great value but cut them in half and they are mainly plastic, not carbon. I've seen it...utter rubbish"

He might even have been right, but I was really put off by the way he started off by rubbishing the competition before we really got down to the options he had available...

Utter rubbish from him.

bobs bikes

love all your stories, but flip it round....

we are not all the oracle of every bit of kit ever invented. yes, you may need one of these iffy bobins that only fit your bike, so dont be shocked that every shop doesnt have them in stock.

anyways....

me - hello xxxxxxxxx, how can i help?
woman on phone - my bike is broke, do you fix bikes?
m- yes, we do.
w- how much will it cost me?
m- what seems to be the problem?
w - your the mechanic, how should i know!


another

m - hello xxxxxxxxxx, how can i help?
w- how much is a lever?
m - which lever do you need?
w - dunno, my son needs a lever
m - yes, which one?
w - my youngest, kevin!


another standard one .... day in,day out from foreign students...

s - i have problem
m- oh, yes, you have a puncture
s- whats that?
m - a hole in your tube
s - how do you know?
m - its flat, there is no air in it.
s - why?
m - because something has burst your tube and all the air has escaped, like a balloon.
s- ah, what do you do then?
m- we change the tube, check the tyre for damage and remove any object that is still stuck in the tyre, it will cost xxx
s-ah, i am student.... no money.... you oil?

see, its not just us this side of the counter!

bigmonka

bobs bikes wrote:

m - hello xxxxxxxxxx, how can i help?
w- how much is a lever?
m - which lever do you need?
w - dunno, my son needs a lever
m - yes, which one?
w - my youngest, kevin!

that's brilliant. What was your response, "oh Kevin! You should have said! He needs ..."

rolf_f

Bozman wrote:

Really dumb advice - needed a headset for a Trek 1500slr, the Trek dealer had no idea what headset was required and suggested that I take a plaster cast of the head tube and go from there. One short call to trek and I had the part number and I'd ordered the headset.

Surely we have a winner by a country mile here?!

lakesluddite

kieranb wrote:

kinda agree with you, there are so many different type of bike, and within each general type so many different standards of component etc. Not every bike shop can afford to employ a 'Sheldon Brown' type character.

Who IS Sheldon Brown?

I feel daft not getting the reference :oops:

declan1

LakesLuddite wrote:

kieranb wrote:

kinda agree with you, there are so many different type of bike, and within each general type so many different standards of component etc. Not every bike shop can afford to employ a 'Sheldon Brown' type character.

Who IS Sheldon Brown?

I feel daft not getting the reference :oops:

http://sheldonbrown.com/

snoopsmydogg

bobs bikes wrote:

love all your stories, but flip it round....


me - hello xxxxxxxxx, how can i help?
woman on phone - my bike is broke, do you fix bikes?
m- yes, we do.
w- how much will it cost me?
m- what seems to be the problem?
w - your the mechanic, how should i know!

Not just limited to bike shops either....

(Working for an estate agent)
Me. Hello xxxxxxxxxx how can I help
Customer. I have seen your sign on a house and would like some more details
Me. Ok where is the property
Customer. I'm looking at it
Me. Ok could you tell me where you are
Customer. Names town
Me. Thank you, unfortunately without an address I'm struggling to find the property on our system
Customer. It has a blue door

Eventually we manage to find the address after many more questions and try to arrange a viewing

Me. I'm just looking in the diary and we can have someone show you around on wed or fri
Customer. Well wed is no good for me but do you not have anything before Friday
Me. Unfortunately not only wed
Customer. Nothing sooner
Me. Sorry
Customer. Nothing??
Me. Well it just happens we have an opening on Tuesday
Customer. Really
Me. No, wed or fri only

She then finally put the phone down after agreeing to Friday.

bernithebiker

Potential guest ; Do you have availability in the Maison du Phare?
Us; Yes, indeed we do.
PG;Thank you. What is Maison du Phare's distance from France?
US; Er, It is in France

CiB

shouldbeinbed wrote:

Got a C2W bike via Chris Paulson in Rochdale. Picked it up and within 50 yards the rear tyre had blown off the rim in quite spectacular fashion. back it went, left it with them

In the interests of not spoiling a decent bloke's reputation over one incident, I've used CP in Rochdale a lot and have always found it be a well run and thoroughly decent LBS. Shame that I no longer have an excuse to bike up that way and have a blast up Blackstone Edge now that the in-laws have moved away.

Ben6899

snoopsmydogg wrote:

Eventually we manage to find the address after many more questions and try to arrange a viewing

Me. I'm just looking in the diary and we can have someone show you around on wed or fri
Customer. Well wed is no good for me but do you not have anything before Friday
Me. Unfortunately not only wed
Customer. Nothing sooner
Me. Sorry
Customer. Nothing??
Me. Well it just happens we have an opening on Tuesday
Customer. Really
Me. No, wed or fri only

She then finally put the phone down after agreeing to Friday.

To be fair, that's a bit rude.

declan1

Ben6899 wrote:

snoopsmydogg wrote:

Eventually we manage to find the address after many more questions and try to arrange a viewing

Me. I'm just looking in the diary and we can have someone show you around on wed or fri
Customer. Well wed is no good for me but do you not have anything before Friday
Me. Unfortunately not only wed
Customer. Nothing sooner
Me. Sorry
Customer. Nothing??
Me. Well it just happens we have an opening on Tuesday
Customer. Really
Me. No, wed or fri only

She then finally put the phone down after agreeing to Friday.

To be fair, that's a bit rude.

Rather funny though

snoopsmydogg

Ben6899 wrote:

snoopsmydogg wrote:

Eventually we manage to find the address after many more questions and try to arrange a viewing

Me. I'm just looking in the diary and we can have someone show you around on wed or fri
Customer. Well wed is no good for me but do you not have anything before Friday
Me. Unfortunately not only wed
Customer. Nothing sooner
Me. Sorry
Customer. Nothing??
Me. Well it just happens we have an opening on Tuesday
Customer. Really
Me. No, wed or fri only

She then finally put the phone down after agreeing to Friday.

To be fair, that's a bit rude.

But asking the same question repeatedly is ok? and not ignorant at all

Gizmodo

Now we're opening this up to other industries I used to work for a computer manufacturer (many years ago) and had a call from a sales man:

Salesman - "I am looking to sell your computers into a factory that washes down with high pressure water hoses each night. Will your computers be OK with that?"

Me - :roll:

For a brief moment I thought of saying "yes, it'll be fine, our spares team will love you", but I didn't. Instead I went down the "would you put a TV in that environment ...." route instead.

schweiz

Gizmodo wrote:

Now we're opening this up to other industries I used to work for a computer manufacturer (many years ago) and had a call from a sales man:

Salesman - "I am looking to sell your computers into a factory that washes down with high pressure water hoses each night. Will your computers be OK with that?"

Me - :roll:

For a brief moment I thought of saying "yes, it'll be fine, our spares team will love you", but I didn't. Instead I went down the "would you put a TV in that environment ...." route instead.

At least he asked, usually the conversation goes like:

Salesman "I've sold 20 computers to a factory"
Engineer "Great, what's the delivery schedule"
Salesman "2 weeks"
Engineer "2 weeks, we have to order all the parts!"
Salesman "Well that can't be difficult, speak to Tina in purchasing"
Engineer :evil:
Salesman: "By the way, did I mention that they'll be hosing these computers down with a 20 bar pressure washer each night? I told them that it'd be no problem for our kit!"
Engineer :shock: :shock: :shock: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

rc856

In an old temp job on a help desk:

Customer: I have a problem with my printer
Me: ok, what kind is it?
C: a white one!!

There were a lot of over the phone 'fixes' made by asking...

Is it switched on/plugged in??

MattC59

Again, not in a bike shop, but genius never the less !

Call from Thames Water: You've not paid your bill
me: I've not received a bill
TW: can you pay now ?
Me: Not without seeing a bill, can you send me one ?
TW: I can email it, you must pay today.
Me: no problem.

First stupid bit, having asked me to pay today, the bill was emailed the next day.

Second stupid bit; upon receiving the email, it states that my bill is attached and for added security, is password protected. Ok so far, but it then goes on to state that the password is on the top of my bill !?!? :roll:

mr_goo

Was in a very large LBS in Bournemouth (you should know who they are). A middle aged married couple were looking at the bikes, quite obviously the husband was in the market for a new road bike. His wife started stroking the Prologo saddle (suedette type cover) on a new Focus Izalco. To which she said 'Oooh I like that. Why don't you get one with a saddle like that?'

Loretta Damage

With my wife in my LBS when she wondered out loud how much I had spent over the last year. One of the staff replied "I can tell you exactly how much as we keep a list of what all the club riders buy". Bugger.

graememacd

Not heard in a bike shop but looking at the halfords website earlier they were describing Ultegra sti's as having good 'breaking' characteristics. Surely that's not what you need! That's the first and last time i look at Halfords for parts...

redvee

graememacd wrote:

Not heard in a bike shop but looking at the halfords website earlier they were describing Ultegra sti's as having good 'breaking' characteristics. Surely that's not what you need! That's the first and last time i look at Halfords for parts...

http://www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stor ... yId_165455