Dumbest thing you've heard in a bike shop

canbakay

Seems forums are never short of venting, and i love it.

There's a similar thread on weightweenies but I'm interested in the UK/bikeradar perspective!

So! What is the stupidest thing you've heard in a bike shop?

I'll start it off!

A set of 404s will make you go at least 5kph faster.....at leaaaaast.*

*having rolled in with a 202/303 set.

t.m.h.n.e.t

"Welcome to Halfords, How may I help you?"

team47b

T.M.H.N.E.T wrote:

"Welcome to Halfords, How may I help you?"

Really funny, coffee's now on the screen

disgruntledgoat

"We keep all our campag in the retro cabinet"

Dales of Glasgow, take a bow.

whyamihere

"A gram saved off the bike is like three grams when riding, so if you save half a kilo, when you're riding it'll feel like a kilo and a half."

Birmingham Decathlon on Monday.

tim_wand

Spotty Youth/ Shop rep in Halfords Newark. Came up to me whilst I was giving a Carrera Virago a cursory look.

"Its the same bike as the bloke who won the tour rode"

Me Trying not to choke with Laughter "And is the Victoria Pendleton one the same as she rides at the olympics?"

Him "No thats Carbon, we dont do that one".

Genius!!!!!!!!!

garryc

"The bikes we sell have either Campag or Shimano gears. But we don't sell Campag spares so it will be very difficult to fix if you have any problems"

Idiot sales youth in the Gatwick showroom headquarters of Evans.

brettjmcc

Overheard in Decathlon Lakeside

"and because this groupset, by that I mean the brakes gears etc, all match it helps you go quicker and it's easier to maintain"

nweststeyn

garryc wrote:

"The bikes we sell have either Campag or Shimano gears. But we don't sell Campag spares so it will be very difficult to fix if you have any problems"

Idiot sales youth in the Gatwick showroom headquarters of Evans.

Not great for the shop, but surely that was refreshingly honest?!

APIII

Schwalbe? No we only stock Specialized tyres. They're so good we don't need to stock anything else.

disgruntledgoat

"It'll be ready by thursday"

Keswick Mountain Bikes still have my back wheel. That was 3 years ago.

disquieting_museeuws

In small welsh bike shop (in middle of nowhere, me without required tools for adjustment):

'We had trouble moving your seat post'.

They'd failed to grasp the concept of undoing the seat bolt and tried to wrench the thing upwards with the saddle in a vice - this level of stupidity is so far off the scale it probably turns full circle and approaches genius.

White Horse

You can't buy a pump that goes up to 110 psi. Your tyres will explode!!!!

Blacktemplar

Guy in LBS - "if the frame's too long, you can just get a much shorter stem - that'll make the handling more stable as well...."

Nick Cod

Me: I'm after a replacement Shimano freehub for my rear wheel
Assistant: Ok we don't have any on the shelf I'll go check out back

I'm thinking he looked a little baffled at my request. He returns

Assistant: Very sorry sir we don't have any in stock at the moment
Me: You do know what a freehub is don't you?
Assistant: Errrrrr no (bright red in the face)

Bunneh

'Please give me £10 and I'll put it on our waiting list to be looked at.' I got the bike back and the cassette was rusted, the chain was rusted and the job I asked to be done wasn't done. Last time I buy from a certain bike shop in Bolton.

rick_chasey

After specifically tell them not to put anything new onto my bike without asking me, I arrived to find a new cassette, a new chain, and a £130 charge.

When I contested it, they said "I don't think you've got the energy to fight this, so just pay up and be done with it".

keyser__soze

Some wally in Cyclesurgery to the missus when she was browsing around, looking at road pedals: "You do know you need special shoes for those". She was wearing Bont Vaypors at the time :roll:

mfin

Anytime I or friends have asked 'is that the best price?' in the LBS... the bloke always does the Laaaandan 'naaa, Im losing on it already'. But somehow, even though he loses money on every transaction, business is booming.

Anonymous

RC - what happened next?

tim_wand

coriordan wrote:

RC - what happened next?

They ve still got his bike and he bought a Canyon on line most probably.

rolf_f

coriordan wrote:

RC - what happened next?

He banned the shop.

Frank the tank

tim wand wrote:

Spotty Youth/ Shop rep in Halfords Newark. Came up to me whilst I was giving a Carrera Virago a cursory look.

"Its the same bike as the bloke who won the tour rode"

Me Trying not to choke with Laughter "And is the Victoria Pendleton one the same as she rides at the olympics?"

Him "No thats Carbon, we dont do that one".

Genius!!!!!!!!!

You do realise though Tim, NEWARK is a anagram of W@NKER.

cornerblock

Rolf F wrote:

coriordan wrote:

RC - what happened next?

He banned the shop.

Only for a week though!

finchy

"I want a mountain bike"

t.m.h.n.e.t

team47b wrote:

T.M.H.N.E.T wrote:

"Welcome to Halfords, How may I help you?"

Really funny, coffee's now on the screen

I aim to please

tim_wand

Frank the tank wrote:

tim wand wrote:

Spotty Youth/ Shop rep in Halfords Newark. Came up to me whilst I was giving a Carrera Virago a cursory look.

"Its the same bike as the bloke who won the tour rode"

Me Trying not to choke with Laughter "And is the Victoria Pendleton one the same as she rides at the olympics?"

Him "No thats Carbon, we dont do that one".

Genius!!!!!!!!!

You do realise though Tim, NEWARK is a anagram of W@NKER.

I Was obviously talking about my recent trip to Newark USA where the new Halfords Pilot store is, hence the lack of staff Knowledge.

I personally live in Newark on Trent and its rite posh I ll have you know. I ll fight anyone for a caravan and a dawg who disagrees.

ethanhayes

johnfinch wrote:

"I want a mountain bike"

'I don't them bendy bars on racing bikes, can I buy one and change it to flat bars'.
:shock:

'My wheel has gone all funny, I'm not happy! I spent £1200 on a bike and the wheel goes funny!'
'You mean its got a puncture?'
'Yes, the wheel is all spongy.'
'We'll fix that for you then!'
'How can I stop it happening in future?'

Had to casually walk away with another member of staff who couldn't hold back the giggles!

Pross

My first (and subsequently only) visit to my nearest bike shop to purchase some bottle cages with my new bike:-

Me: "I'm looking for a pair of bottle cages for this"
Them: "Wow, is it full carbon? What's it like to ride? I've never been on one"

Bearing in mind this was about 2 years ago so a carbon bike wasn't some kind of rare luxury item it didn't give me much confidence in their experience!

rick_chasey

Rolf F wrote:

coriordan wrote:

RC - what happened next?

He banned the shop.

?

I sat in the shop for 3 hours asking him to re-do it at no extra cost and take off the new stuff. (was unemployed at the time).

Every time someone walked into the shop I told them the story, like a nutter.

Eventually I got it down to £40 and kept the new stuff.

Frank the tank

tim wand wrote:

Frank the tank wrote:

tim wand wrote:

Spotty Youth/ Shop rep in Halfords Newark. Came up to me whilst I was giving a Carrera Virago a cursory look.

"Its the same bike as the bloke who won the tour rode"

Me Trying not to choke with Laughter "And is the Victoria Pendleton one the same as she rides at the olympics?"

Him "No thats Carbon, we dont do that one".

Genius!!!!!!!!!

You do realise though Tim, NEWARK is a anagram of W@NKER.

I Was obviously talking about my recent trip to Newark USA where the new Halfords Pilot store is, hence the lack of staff Knowledge.

I personally live in Newark on Trent and its rite posh I ll have you know. I ll fight anyone for a caravan and a dawg who disagrees.

For some reason I thought you resided in Farndon?