Dumbest thing you've heard in a bike shop

Ben6899

I didn't hear something dumb, but I managed to confuse a guy in the Specialized Concept Store in Covent Garden - or that's the impression he gave at least.

I asked - looking at the S-Works Tarmac framesets - "so these frames are BB30-ready, then?"

From the look on his face, you would think I'd just recited Einstein's Theory of Relativity to him. In Klingon.

centimani

'Local to me is a small industrial unit, there;s a guy who buys (probably) tons of what look like Police auction bikes, mostly BSOs, 90% cr@p, with the odd few do-er uppers that he sells. Quite popular, loads of 2nd hand spares, he has his part in the cycling eco system.
I wandered in to guage what he kept that may be of use to me (spares etc) when a klunker of an old Bottechia (IIRC) racer caught my eye. It was well used, basic downtube shifters etc...nothing special at all, but a racer...worth a lazy look.
He came wandering over as he saw me lift it and said 'feel the weight of it...its sooo light isn't it 8)

I couldnt be bothered to argue....it was a klunker, a heavy heavy cheap old racer...bloody heavy :roll:

dynamicbrick

Despairing finally of the OEM shocks fitted to my Iron Horse MTB, I went into all five of the LBS in town to enquire about fixed/solid forks - never used it off road, had slicks on it, didn't see the point in the suspension.

Three simply couldn't fathom what I was on about.
One denied it could be done "you can't put solid forks on a bike with shocks, it won't work mate"
Last place told me they could be fitted, but they didn't know anyone who did them, despite having a wall plastered in Ritchey gear.

desweller

dynamicbrick wrote:

Despairing finally of the OEM shocks fitted to my Iron Horse MTB, I went into all five of the LBS in town to enquire about fixed/solid forks - never used it off road, had slicks on it, didn't see the point in the suspension.

Three simply couldn't fathom what I was on about.
One denied it could be done "you can't put solid forks on a bike with shocks, it won't work mate"
Last place told me they could be fitted, but they didn't know anyone who did them, despite having a wall plastered in Ritchey gear.

To be fair, it would make a right old mix up of the geometry to fit a rigid fork. What did you do in the end?

dynamicbrick

DesWeller wrote:

dynamicbrick wrote:

Despairing finally of the OEM shocks fitted to my Iron Horse MTB, I went into all five of the LBS in town to enquire about fixed/solid forks - never used it off road, had slicks on it, didn't see the point in the suspension.

Three simply couldn't fathom what I was on about.
One denied it could be done "you can't put solid forks on a bike with shocks, it won't work mate"
Last place told me they could be fitted, but they didn't know anyone who did them, despite having a wall plastered in Ritchey gear.

To be fair, it would make a right old mix up of the geometry to fit a rigid fork. What did you do in the end?

Oh yes, I knew about that, but LBS were certain the bike simply wouldn't function.

In the end I did the only decent thing and sold it to a mate and bought a roadie

ben@31

Phil Fouracre wrote:

Great stories - seriously though, does anyone actually use bike shops for maintenance? Every time I've tried to use them I get more problems than when I started, gave up years ago.

The time I went to the LBS was to get the rear derailleur correctly set up. Straight away the guy who works there sucked his teeth and said "it could be x or y that's worn. We'll have a look and tell you what needs replacing".

I replied "the bike is brand new out the box, it just hasn't been properly set up yet". Anyone could see that the bike was spotless and still in showroom condition.

Since that day I'd struggle to trust the LBS. I got the impression they want me to pay for parts that don't need replacing.

Cleat Eastwood

In Halfords once - I was looking at an ultegra crank, I picked up the drive side to check its weight and asked the lad could I look at the other arm and he said "You mean there's meant to be two parts to it"

Monkeypump

DesWeller wrote:

dynamicbrick wrote:

Despairing finally of the OEM shocks fitted to my Iron Horse MTB, I went into all five of the LBS in town to enquire about fixed/solid forks - never used it off road, had slicks on it, didn't see the point in the suspension.

Three simply couldn't fathom what I was on about.
One denied it could be done "you can't put solid forks on a bike with shocks, it won't work mate"
Last place told me they could be fitted, but they didn't know anyone who did them, despite having a wall plastered in Ritchey gear.

To be fair, it would make a right old mix up of the geometry to fit a rigid fork. What did you do in the end?

Um, unless you bought rigid forks that were corrected for syspension geometry, which are readily available online.

Monty Dog

DesWeller wrote:

To be fair, it would make a right old mix up of the geometry to fit a rigid fork. What did you do in the end?

Yup, given that the bike's not ridden offroad, fitting a shorter fork, say 60mm less would increase the headtube angle by 3 degrees, taking it from 69 to something like 72 degrees would make it really sketchy handling, something like a roadbike maybe?

rich164h

Dmak wrote:

natrix wrote:

Six years ago I bought a brand spanking new specialised mountain bike from a shop that I'll call 'Berkshire cycles in Crowthorne'. I also bought a matching bottle cage and they insisted on fitting it whilst they gave the bike a final check over. When I went back to collect it, they handed the bike over with a cheery "It's in tip-top condition that bike, tip-top".

I didn't have the heart to tell the daft b*ggar that he'd fitted the bottle cage upside down

Nice enough shop, great prices but the workshop tribe don't give a s**t, or don't know how to.

Brilliant, I was wondering if this place would get mentioned. For me this is also where I've heard the stupidest thing. It was the only time I've been in and I was talking with one of the shop assistants about the Specialized range and the guy hand-on-heart insisted that I'd be better off buying an Allez instead of a Tarmac as "those carbon frames only last 3-4 years maximum as sunlight makes them brittle and perish and therefore would be a waste of money".

greg66_tri_v2.0

Not a bike shop, but a hi-fi shop.

Me: "Do you sell Mordaunt Short speakers here?"
Assistant: "Pardon"
Me: "Mordaunt Short speakers. Do you sell them here?"
Assistant looks around looking baffled and a bit panicked...
Assistant: "No, but we have some quite small ones over there" (points).
I left, stifling guffaws.

Ben6899

Greg66 Tri v2.0 wrote:

Not a bike shop, but a hi-fi shop.

Me: "Do you sell Mordaunt Short speakers here?"
Assistant: "Pardon"
Me: "Mordaunt Short speakers. Do you sell them here?"
Assistant looks around looking baffled and a bit panicked...
Assistant: "No, but we have some quite small ones over there" (points).
I left, stifling guffaws.

Apropos achieving surround sound?

TakeTurns

Walked into an Evans. Needed a new BB for my bike as you do. Told the guy exactly which BB it was that I needed.

...10minutes later he brings me a load of different BBs which looked like they'd been collecting dust in some old farts attic. The packaging also looked like it had been savaged by a pitbull.

NONE of them were even close to what I asked for. I told him and repeated myself.

He told me that he'll ask the mechanic and took my bike off me...WTF?!

Comes back 5mins later and tells me "it's a Pressfit BB86".

Yes, dude, that's what I said when I first walked in.

"Yeah, we don't have that"

Ben6899

TakeTurns wrote:

Walked into an Evans. Needed a new BB for my bike as you do. Told the guy exactly which BB it was that I needed.

...10minutes later he brings me a load of different BBs which looked like they'd been collecting dust in some old farts attic. The packaging also looked like it had been savaged by a pitbull.

NONE of them were even close to what I asked for. I told him and repeated myself.

He told me that he'll ask the mechanic and took my bike off me...WTF?!

Comes back 5mins later and tells me "it's a Pressfit BB86".

Yes, dude, that's what I said when I first walked in.

"Yeah, we don't have that"

Which Evans? London-based, I presume?

Kerguelen

disgruntledgoat wrote:

"We keep all our campag in the retro cabinet"

Dales of Glasgow, take a bow.

The same shop that assured me that a high-power LED doesn't dissipate any heat.

I know LEDs are very efficient, but 100% efficient? Awesome!

ddraver

Kerguelen wrote:

disgruntledgoat wrote:

"We keep all our campag in the retro cabinet"

Dales of Glasgow, take a bow.

I was nt there, but sounds like you got Zinged!

pb21

Non cyclist type: How much will it cost to fix my puncture?

Shop worker: £12

TakeTurns

Ben6899 wrote:

TakeTurns wrote:

Walked into an Evans. Needed a new BB for my bike as you do. Told the guy exactly which BB it was that I needed.

...10minutes later he brings me a load of different BBs which looked like they'd been collecting dust in some old farts attic. The packaging also looked like it had been savaged by a pitbull.

NONE of them were even close to what I asked for. I told him and repeated myself.

He told me that he'll ask the mechanic and took my bike off me...WTF?!

Comes back 5mins later and tells me "it's a Pressfit BB86".

Yes, dude, that's what I said when I first walked in.

"Yeah, we don't have that"

Which Evans? London-based, I presume?

Chalk Farm.

Ben6899

TakeTurns wrote:

Ben6899 wrote:

TakeTurns wrote:

Walked into an Evans. Needed a new BB for my bike as you do. Told the guy exactly which BB it was that I needed.

...10minutes later he brings me a load of different BBs which looked like they'd been collecting dust in some old farts attic. The packaging also looked like it had been savaged by a pitbull.

NONE of them were even close to what I asked for. I told him and repeated myself.

He told me that he'll ask the mechanic and took my bike off me...WTF?!

Comes back 5mins later and tells me "it's a Pressfit BB86".

Yes, dude, that's what I said when I first walked in.

"Yeah, we don't have that"

Which Evans? London-based, I presume?

Chalk Farm.

My local.

Hanners

took my new frame in today with a new headset asked the guy to fit it.
he said yes no problem, then said ive never done one before
i took the frame and headset and left

Cycloslalomeur

Hanners wrote:

took my new frame in today with a new headset asked the guy to fit it.
he said yes no problem, then said ive never done one before
i took the frame and headset and left

Shocking. Buy yourself a length of M10 threaded rod and some nuts and big washers.

mooro

Freewheel in nottingham. I had a new trek at the time with bontrager wheels and basically one of the bearings in the wheel seized about five months after buying the bike. always kept it clean, never out in the rain etc.

"Well son its because you havent kept it right, no way is it warranty...."

I rang trek, they sent bearings out straight away. Freewheels response was a rather classy, if you dont like it pal go to citizens advice...

Phil Fouracre

I thought it was possibly just that as nobody wants to pay much for someone to work on their bike, therefore shops can't pay decent wages. Seems to be worse than that. Not only does every shop I try to deal with seem to employ complete morons, I am now in discussions with a manufacturer who doesn't seem any better. You would think that, as bikes are becoming more expensive and complex, skill and knowledge levels would rise ha! ha!

symo

Mooro wrote:

Freewheel in nottingham. I had a new trek at the time with bontrager wheels and basically one of the bearings in the wheel seized about five months after buying the bike. always kept it clean, never out in the rain etc.

"Well son its because you havent kept it right, no way is it warranty...."

I rang trek, they sent bearings out straight away. Freewheels response was a rather classy, if you dont like it pal go to citizens advice...

Freewheel gave me a funny one, two years ago, I was returning from a 60 mile blast around the hangouts of my youth, Ilkeston, Cossall, Stapleford etc. Anyhow, puncture fairy visited me 3 times that day, so luckily (so I thought ) I was near freewheel (Hockleys finest) and popped in for a tube.
Me _ Can I have an inner tube
LBS _ What wheels are those?
Me _ Easton's
LBS _ Thats what caused your problem.
Me _ :S
LBS _ Yeah you need carbon wheels to go with that fork (EC90SL)
Me _ Really?
LBS _ Yeah well known. Plus you want a better frame (It's the Wiggle Kiron Scandium).
Me _ Yeah so anyway about that tube........

Edit: Also forgot to mention as part of the conversation:
LBS _ So how far you been
Me _ Just 50 odd, heading back to Ilkeston now
LBS _ Yeah right.
Really they are so lovely in there.

lae

Applying for a Saturday job in Halfords when I was at uni. I wasn't a cyclist at the time.

18-year-old me: Dear Halfords Manager, here's my CV, could you give me a job please mister?
Halfords Manager: *looks it over* We're short of staff in the bikehut. Do you know anything about bikes?
Me: To be honest, no.
Halfords Manager: You'll fit in well. When can you start?

This did start a lifelong love affair (so far) with cycling, though.

chrisaonabike

I brought a Cannondale Synapse back to Evans in Kingston, having test-ridden it for the second time, I eliminated it from my short list which then contained the Spesh Allez Elite 2013, and the 2012 Giant Defy Comp 3 I ended up with.

The guy in the shop asked me if I was going to buy it and I said no, sorry - it's now either the Allez or the Defy. He looked a bit disappointed, understandably.. and then said...

"Well with the Specialized, you're just paying a premium for the name. They're actually made of inferior materials."

mouth

symo wrote:

Mooro wrote:

Freewheel in nottingham. I had a new trek at the time with bontrager wheels and basically one of the bearings in the wheel seized about five months after buying the bike. always kept it clean, never out in the rain etc.

"Well son its because you havent kept it right, no way is it warranty...."

I rang trek, they sent bearings out straight away. Freewheels response was a rather classy, if you dont like it pal go to citizens advice...

Freewheel gave me a funny one, two years ago, I was returning from a 60 mile blast around the hangouts of my youth, Ilkeston, Cossall, Stapleford etc. Anyhow, puncture fairy visited me 3 times that day, so luckily (so I thought ) I was near freewheel (Hockleys finest) and popped in for a tube.
Me _ Can I have an inner tube
LBS _ What wheels are those?
Me _ Easton's
LBS _ Thats what caused your problem.
Me _ :S
LBS _ Yeah you need carbon wheels to go with that fork (EC90SL)
Me _ Really?
LBS _ Yeah well known. Plus you want a better frame (It's the Wiggle Kiron Scandium).
Me _ Yeah so anyway about that tube........

Edit: Also forgot to mention as part of the conversation:
LBS _ So how far you been
Me _ Just 50 odd, heading back to Ilkeston now
LBS _ Yeah right.
Really they are so lovely in there.

I probably walk past this place 4 times a week and always thought that when I started shopping for a serious bike i'd give something from there some thought. I now think I might carry on walking up the hill and go to Evans instead. Or Langdale.

PS I'm sure they sell Easton gear there. Maybe I'm thinking of Sid Standards instead though.

bdu98252

I am quite amused that people think that they should receive a well informed opinion and excellent technical advice from a bike shop employee. I am sure the bosses of these shops know what they are doing but looking at the wages and general promotion prospects of working in a bike shop you are going to get people looking for a life style and the minimum wage brigade. Do you think that the sales assistant in Debenhams can tell you how the clothes were made, where they were made and what the designer was atempting to convey whilst designing it?

I am an engineer getting paid more than the minimum wage to work on project for industrial clients so that I can afford expensive bikes. For that they ask tha I am good with maths and can manage risk for them so that a major indistrial accident does not happen or they lose money. You pays you money you get your staff as a general rule.

kieranb

kinda agree with you, there are so many different type of bike, and within each general type so many different standards of component etc. Not every bike shop can afford to employ a 'Sheldon Brown' type character.

dynamicbrick

Not dumb, but just... I dunno... head in hands. Just got off the phone to the LBS;
Me: "Hello, I've done the cyclesheme thing this year, you're a partner aren't you?"
LBS: "Yup... what are you thinking of getting?"
Me: "Done a grand of vouchers. Fancy a crosser. I see you do Felt"
LBS: "Nah, we stopped them, they're shit"
Me: "Oh, right, umm, hmmm"
LBS: ".........."
Me: "Can you get any crossers?"
LBS: "Genesis I suppose... they're alright"
Me: "Alright?"
LBS: "Well, they're better than Boardmans... they're shit"
Me: "Right. I was also thinking about a Trek or Specialized"
LBS: "No, you don't want one of them, they're shit"
Me: "Okay, have you got a Genesis in 58 or 60 I can try?"
LBS: "No, we only stock 52 or 54. I'll have to order a 58 or 60. Come down, try out the 52 we've got"
Me: "I'm 6' 4", it'll be like riding a kid's bike"
LBS: "It'll be alright, you can imagine it a bigger and see how you like it"