50 Shades of Grey

135

Comments

  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    Mrs WBW couldn't put it down - I might have to loosen her bonds first
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • clarkey cat
    clarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    I have forbidden my wife from reading it. Not because its kinky or nowt - I just dont want her being another drone ploughing her way through the latest franchise-ready trilogy 'phenomenon'.
    Dolan Mythos
  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    clarkey cat wrote:
    I have forbidden my wife from reading it.

    What are you going to do if she doesn't obey - spank her?
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • clarkey cat
    clarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    she will obey. she vowed to obey on our wedding day. if she doesn't she will be in contempt of God who presided over our holy union and she will enter eternal damnation.
    Dolan Mythos
  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    clarkey cat wrote:
    she will enter eternal damnation.

    Fair enough. Is that like the Red room?
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • clarkey cat
    clarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    our Red Room is the airing cupboard.
    Dolan Mythos
  • Gizmo_
    Gizmo_ Posts: 558
    Mine read it. Was quite entertained by it for a few days. Then she bought the other two.

    The, er, tool hasn't been out of its box since. :(
    Scott Sportster P45 2008 | Cannondale CAAD8 Tiagra 2012
  • cyclingprop
    cyclingprop Posts: 2,426
    clarkey cat wrote:
    our Red Room is the airing cupboard.

    Do you chain her to the (ironing) board and flog her till she's finished?
    What do you mean you think 64cm is a big frame?
  • Sewinman
    Sewinman Posts: 2,131
    I have to say I find the whole 'self-indulgent titillation' side of this craze rather sad. If you get the horn spank one out over the net and be done with it...why would one want to read some god awful shite book for days, and go one about how 'empowered' one feels doing it. It is the kind of crap that makes me glad I am a bloke.
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    Sewinman wrote:
    I have to say I find the whole 'self-indulgent titillation' side of this craze rather sad. If you get the horn spank one out over the net and be done with it...why would one want to read some god awful shite book for days, and go one about how 'empowered' one feels doing it. It is the kind of crap that makes me glad I am a bloke.
    Women don't watch porn and find themselves left with a need to spank one out, or tap one out if we are being accurate. I'm told that women find things other than porn (i.e. visual sexual imagery) sexually stimulating.
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • Gizmo_
    Gizmo_ Posts: 558
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Sewinman wrote:
    I have to say I find the whole 'self-indulgent titillation' side of this craze rather sad. If you get the horn spank one out over the net and be done with it...why would one want to read some god awful shite book for days, and go one about how 'empowered' one feels doing it. It is the kind of crap that makes me glad I am a bloke.
    Women don't watch porn and find themselves left with a need to spank one out, or tap one out if we are being accurate. I'm told that women find things other than porn (i.e. visual sexual imagery) sexually stimulating.
    Told by whom?

    I can't hear mine, she's in the kitchen. ;)
    Scott Sportster P45 2008 | Cannondale CAAD8 Tiagra 2012
  • suzyb
    suzyb Posts: 3,449
    It's a book. I wondered what all these references to "50 shades of grey" were about.
    Whippet
  • jonny_trousers
    jonny_trousers Posts: 3,588
    Like I say, I can't comment on 50 Shades of Grey directly as I've not read it, but it's amazing how many people will read a book, think, 'This is crap, I could've written that', but neglect to acknowledge that not only did they not write it, but that there is clearly a talent to writing successful fiction beyond offering decent prose.

    Having enjoyed the film, I read the first Hunger Games novel recently and the writing style is painfully dull. I believe the Twighlight books are equally poor, but the difference between the authors of those books and the likes of you and I is that they had an idea, they wrote it up and they found themselves a market, while we sat on our arses saying 'This is crap, I could've written that!'

    PS. I am in no doubt that 50 Shades is garbage, but I'm glad it is helping to make erotic literature mainstream.
  • tetm
    tetm Posts: 564
    This is closer to home. London, rather than my actual home.

    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/50-shades-of-clegg-2012071033657
  • TheEnglishman
    TheEnglishman Posts: 587
    Jonny_Trousers wrote:
    ... I'm glad it is helping to make erotic literature mainstream.


    The thing with the books is that they've absolutely revolutionised publishing and has scared the pants of all the major publishers. That a book can have such phenominal international sales without a major publishing deal while only being available electronically means anyone can have a go.

    Inspiring. Unlike Anastasia.
    Please click here to sponsor me on a 100 mile charity bike ride in aid of the MS Society
  • jonny_trousers
    jonny_trousers Posts: 3,588
    TheEnglishman wrote:
    Jonny_Trousers wrote:
    ... I'm glad it is helping to make erotic literature mainstream.


    The thing with the books is that they've absolutely revolutionised publishing and has scared the pants of all the major publishers. That a book can have such phenominal international sales without a major publishing deal while only being available electronically means anyone can have a go.

    Inspiring. Unlike Anastasia.

    Kind of ironic too, given that it was only a couple of years ago now that the major publishing houses shut down their 'adult literature' departments (despite the fact that they were making good money out of them).
  • clarkey cat
    clarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    a plot summary - in stick figures.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLN0b6OQor4&sns=fb
    Dolan Mythos
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    Gizmo_ wrote:
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Sewinman wrote:
    I have to say I find the whole 'self-indulgent titillation' side of this craze rather sad. If you get the horn spank one out over the net and be done with it...why would one want to read some god awful shite book for days, and go one about how 'empowered' one feels doing it. It is the kind of crap that makes me glad I am a bloke.
    Women don't watch porn and find themselves left with a need to spank one out, or tap one out if we are being accurate. I'm told that women find things other than porn (i.e. visual sexual imagery) sexually stimulating.
    Told by whom?

    Channel 4....
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • twist83
    twist83 Posts: 761
    Working in an Office with Approx 13 females with 8-9 having read or reading this my day is filled with talk of this.

    Although when one very attractive young ladie started reading some out I had to walk away for fear of having to splash my crotch with cold water.

    There are however so many times you can hear old ladies talking about butt plugs, ladies special time of the month in the same context as sex, sore female genatalia due to riding crops etc etc etc
  • Ben6899
    Ben6899 Posts: 9,686
    It makes me immensely proud that - depite all this shite being published - Miss6899 just finished reading 'The Trial' and is now reading 'Out of Africa'.
    Ben

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  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    twist83 wrote:
    Working in an Office with Approx 13 females with 8-9 having read or reading this my day is filled with talk of this.

    Although when one very attractive young ladie started reading some out I had to walk away for fear of having to splash my crotch with cold water.

    Should have just gone to the toilet to knock one out. It also works if you want to pass the time of day and you have nothing to do! Or if you're having a really bad/stressful day... - I once walked in on a Chinese bloke doing this very thing...
    There are however so many times you can hear old ladies talking about butt plugs, ladies special time of the month in the same context as sex, sore female genatalia due to riding crops etc etc etc
    Where the hell do you work!?
    I've never met anyone who uses a butt plug. What the hell is 'riding crops'?

    AND

    Special time of the month in the context of sex means don't go anywhere near there, right? RIGHT! Because that's the rules.
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • dhope
    dhope Posts: 6,699
    twist83 wrote:
    Although when one very attractive young ladie started reading some out I had to walk away for fear of having to splash my crotch with cold water.
    No problems standing up to walk away though?
    Rose Xeon CW Disc
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  • iclestu
    iclestu Posts: 503
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Special time of the month in the context of sex means don't go anywhere near there, right? RIGHT! Because that's the rules.

    Pffft. MTFU
    FCN 7: Dawes Galaxy Ultra 2012 - sofa-like comfort to eat up the miles

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  • Monkeypump
    Monkeypump Posts: 1,528
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    I've never met anyone who uses a butt plug.
    You have, you just don't know that you have.
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Special time of the month in the context of sex means don't go anywhere near there, right? RIGHT! Because that's the rules.
    No red wings?
  • rubertoe
    rubertoe Posts: 3,994
    edited July 2012
    ^ what Stu says.
    "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

    PX Kaffenback 2 = Work Horse
    B-Twin Alur 700 = Sundays and Hills
  • cyclingprop
    cyclingprop Posts: 2,426
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    I once walked in on a Chinese bloke doing this very thing...

    Is that because you were not in a toilet but a glory hole?
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    I've never met anyone who has admitted using a butt plug.

    FTFY
    What do you mean you think 64cm is a big frame?
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    rubbertoe wrote:
    Monkeypump wrote:
    iclestu wrote:
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Special time of the month in the context of sex means don't go anywhere near there, right? RIGHT! Because that's the rules.

    Pffft. MTFU
    No red wings?
    ^ what Sty says.
    Ewwww!
    cyclingprop wrote:
    FTFY
    Cyclingprop, have you?
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • mudcow007
    mudcow007 Posts: 3,861
    a mate of mine (not me - before you start) pipped up during a conversation in the pub

    mate - my mrs stuck her finger in my pooper last night

    us - say what?

    mate - yeah straight in, was really good too should try it

    us - err ok, but we were talking about footy where did that come from?

    mate - i dunno i was just thinking about it

    we dont really see him no more, rumour has it he is a gimp strapped to the wall in his mrs basement

    carry on
    Keeping it classy since '83
  • msmancunia
    msmancunia Posts: 1,415
    DDD - has it ever occured to you that most people do have sex when the girl is on her period (there you go, even whispered it for you), and that you might be the odd one for turning your nose up?
    Commute: Chadderton - Sportcity
  • twist83
    twist83 Posts: 761
    dhope wrote:
    twist83 wrote:
    Although when one very attractive young ladie started reading some out I had to walk away for fear of having to splash my crotch with cold water.
    No problems standing up to walk away though?

    Thankfully no! It was a close call. Sure she was eye raping me at the same time as well.

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