50 Shades of Grey

245

Comments

  • msmancunia
    msmancunia Posts: 1,415
    clarkey cat wrote:
    My Nan's eyesight is going so I'm currently reading it to her in 2 hour stints on Skype in the evening.

    It's pretty poorly written but she seems to be enjoying it.

    :lol:
    Commute: Chadderton - Sportcity
  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    DonDaddyD wrote:

    I can be a sub...

    Well if I get pulled off at half time you might be in luck....

    ... what do you mean NOT that kind of sub?
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    msmancunia wrote:
    Greg66 wrote:
    msmancunia wrote:
    a friend is quite heavily into that kind of thing though, so she's been making my hair curl for years with the sort of stuff she gets up to. She said it's rubbish and nowhere near what BDSM is like.

    Ahem. I believe a much, much fuller account of your conversations with this "friend" is called for. Omit no detail no matter how trivial it may appear. It is essential that we are fully apprised of her experiences in order that we may pass judgment on accuracy of the accounts in the 50 Shades trilogy.

    It may make you cross your legs and clench your bum, Mr G66. My friend is a bit of an ex-goth, a bit weird, and yes, quite into the whole BDSM thing. But, she's the um, dominant character in the relationship. I was never able to quite look her boyfriend in the eye after that.

    Still want details...?     :lol:
    ]
    Are you crazy? He wants pictures and her phone number!!
    [Old DDD moment] Me too! [/Old DDD moment]

    I can be a sub...
    You'll be needing this:
    wet-lube.jpg
    FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
    FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
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    I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    walkingbootweather wrote:
    DonDaddyD wrote:

    I can be a sub...

    Well if I get pulled off at half time you might be in luck....

    ... what do you mean NOT that kind of sub?

    What sport do you play where you can get pulled off at half time? Does it release tension?
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    SimonAH wrote:
    walkingbootweather wrote:
    DonDaddyD wrote:

    I can be a sub...

    Well if I get pulled off at half time you might be in luck....

    ... what do you mean NOT that kind of sub?

    What sport do you play where you can get pulled off at half time? Does it release tension?

    A reference to a fabled remark by Rodney Marsh playing his final game for England. When Alf Ramsey threatened to pull him off at half time, Rod replied "All we get at City is an orange and a cup of tea".
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    Awaiting the 'pop-up' version.....
  • daviesee
    daviesee Posts: 6,386
    My wife downloaded it after hearing all the hype.
    In her words. "It's shite".

    I have been sent a shortened Ned's version on F/book that I'll have to copy & paste later. I imagine that it's much better. My wife thought so. :P
    None of the above should be taken seriously, and certainly not personally.
  • el_presidente
    el_presidente Posts: 1,963
    Greg66 wrote:
    msmancunia wrote:
    Greg66 wrote:
    msmancunia wrote:
    a friend is quite heavily into that kind of thing though, so she's been making my hair curl for years with the sort of stuff she gets up to. She said it's rubbish and nowhere near what BDSM is like.

    Ahem. I believe a much, much fuller account of your conversations with this "friend" is called for. Omit no detail no matter how trivial it may appear. It is essential that we are fully apprised of her experiences in order that we may pass judgment on accuracy of the accounts in the 50 Shades trilogy.

    It may make you cross your legs and clench your bum, Mr G66. My friend is a bit of an ex-goth, a bit weird, and yes, quite into the whole BDSM thing. But, she's the um, dominant character in the relationship. I was never able to quite look her boyfriend in the eye after that.

    Still want details...? :lol:

    Well, he's probably used to not having eye contact, what with having a gimp hood over this head...

    ITB will be very disappointed to have missed this lot :mrgreen:


    54924-1.jpg now owned by several forum members I believe :shock:
    <a>road</a>
  • DrLex
    DrLex Posts: 2,142
    Hey; I resemble that remark!
    Location: ciderspace
  • notsoblue
    notsoblue Posts: 5,756
    SNL covered this well
    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xqmofb ... shortfilms
    Nothing graphic, but probably NSFW.
    FCN 4 PX SL Pro SRAM Red
    FCN 8 Scott Sportster '05
  • UndercoverElephant
    UndercoverElephant Posts: 5,796
    Mrs. Elephant is reading it currently. Her appraisal, "It's very badly written, but it's very rude - which holds your attention."
    Sun - Rain - Snow
  • cyclingprop
    cyclingprop Posts: 2,426
    UndercoverElephant wrote:
    Mrs. Elephant is reading it currently. Her appraisal, "It's very badly written, but it's very rude - which holds your attention."

    Is it balls. It's got just enough detail to make you imagine then your mind embellishes it. So I'm told.
    What do you mean you think 64cm is a big frame?
  • Daz555
    Daz555 Posts: 3,976
    Nailed on fact.

    Husbands of wives who enjoy this book are getting more action right now than the rest - at least until they finish the 3rd book I imagine.
    You only need two tools: WD40 and Duck Tape.
    If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40.
    If it shouldn't move and does, use the tape.
  • msmancunia
    msmancunia Posts: 1,415
    Daz555 wrote:
    Nailed on fact.

    Husbands of wives who enjoy this book are getting more action right now than the rest - at least until they finish the 3rd book I imagine.

    Judging by your signature it looks like you've already read it!
    You only need two tools: WD40 and Duck Tape.
    If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40.
    If it shouldn't move and does, use the tape.
    Commute: Chadderton - Sportcity
  • t.m.h.n.e.t
    t.m.h.n.e.t Posts: 2,265
    msmancunia wrote:
    Anyway, I prefer the Irish Mammy Porn on Twitter called @50ShadesOGreen - it sounds like Mrs Doyle from Father Ted....
    Sure when our fingers touched didn't the electricity between us near blow me feckin Aran knit cardigan off me! 'Twas fierce altogether now.
    That is just fecking brilliant tae be shor.
  • iclestu
    iclestu Posts: 503
    msmancunia wrote:
    Daz555 wrote:
    Nailed on fact.

    Husbands of wives who enjoy this book are getting more action right now than the rest - at least until they finish the 3rd book I imagine.

    Judging by your signature it looks like you've already read it!
    You only need two tools: WD40 and Duck Tape.
    If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40.
    If it shouldn't move and does, use the tape.

    Duct tape? Sure. I mean ive never used it in bedroom myself but i get where ur going..... But WD40!? :shock:

    Wtf goes on in your 'chambers', msmancunia????
    FCN 7: Dawes Galaxy Ultra 2012 - sofa-like comfort to eat up the miles

    Reserve: 2010 Boardman CX Pro
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Actually I take the opposite stance Stu, a bit of lubrication OK, but duct tape? Really? Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh wait, BDSM, that's the point really isn't it.
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • greg66_tri_v2.0
    greg66_tri_v2.0 Posts: 7,172
    iclestu wrote:
    msmancunia wrote:
    Daz555 wrote:
    Nailed on fact.

    Husbands of wives who enjoy this book are getting more action right now than the rest - at least until they finish the 3rd book I imagine.

    Judging by your signature it looks like you've already read it!
    You only need two tools: WD40 and Duck Tape.
    If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40.
    If it shouldn't move and does, use the tape.

    Duct tape? Sure. I mean ive never used it in bedroom myself but i get where ur going..... But WD40!? :shock:

    Wtf goes on in your 'chambers', msmancunia????

    Just so we're all clear on this, WD40 is a lubricating oil, a penetrating oil, cleans, and displaces water (for the German users).

    It has many uses.
    Swim. Bike. Run. Yeah. That's what I used to do.

    Bike 1
    Bike 2-A
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    Greg66 wrote:
    It has many uses.
    Much like fire and ice do...
    FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
    FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
    FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees

    I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!
  • cyclingprop
    cyclingprop Posts: 2,426
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    Greg66 wrote:
    It has many uses.
    Much like fire and ice do...

    And when you're done with the tape, you can use it to dissolve the glue.
    What do you mean you think 64cm is a big frame?
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    cyclingprop wrote:
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    Greg66 wrote:
    It has many uses.
    Much like fire and ice do...

    And when you're done with the tape, you can use it to dissolve the glue.
    The fire or the ice?
    FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
    FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
    FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees

    I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!
  • cyclingprop
    cyclingprop Posts: 2,426
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    cyclingprop wrote:
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    Greg66 wrote:
    It has many uses.
    Much like fire and ice do...

    And when you're done with the tape, you can use it to dissolve the glue.
    The fire or the ice?

    The WD40?
    What do you mean you think 64cm is a big frame?
  • redvee
    redvee Posts: 11,922
    SimonAH wrote:
    Yes, Cambell used to write porn for the erotic review IIRC.

    Thought it was for Forum mag. Anyhow this 50 shades of grey lark isn't new, you could get it in your P & D shop years ago.

    http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/577/vyrrax.jpg/ :lol:
    I've added a signature to prove it is still possible.
  • TheEnglishman
    TheEnglishman Posts: 587
    redvee wrote:
    Thought it was for Forum mag. Anyhow this 50 shades of grey lark isn't new, you could get it in your P & D shop years ago.

    http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/577/vyrrax.jpg/ :lol:


    He he - puts a new twist on a Shaggy Dog Story!!
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  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    If 50 shades of Grey is a bit mundane for you try Sex acts of depraved penguins :shock:
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    edited July 2012
    OK, so I have finally read a chapter. T'was the one where they are at Grey's parents for dinner. She is commando, and as you do when your lady is sitting at the table (don't claim you don't), he runs a hand up her thigh. She closes her legs and this sends him wild at the thought that she was telling him physically 'no, don't'. In the first pages of the following chapter he fingers and fucks her; 'for his pleasure not her's' (which for a Sub is for her pleasure as well... :roll: ).

    My thoughts: I've read better, far more descriptive and explicit sex scenes. As a piece of prose it isn't class leading stuff.

    It does have the 'DDD factor'. It's crass too the point of shocking and if you can get past the 'holy fuck', 'holy crap' and 'holy god' dialogue you are almost compelled to keep reading it to find out where next.
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • clarkey cat
    clarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    he runs a hand up her thigh. She closes her legs and this sends him wild. In the first pages of the following chapter he fingers and fucks her; 'for his pleasure not her's'

    go on....

    :P
    Dolan Mythos
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    looks like the swear word filter is turned off!

    About time TBH.

    Since when did people start discussing the latest pornography the watched/read?
    _
  • TheEnglishman
    TheEnglishman Posts: 587
    Since an internet only published book became a phenomena that's scaring the traditional printed book lot to death.

    As a book it's acceptably rude so will get read enough - however, because of how it was distributed (no major publishing deal, download only, cheap etc etc) it's quite a big thing.

    Ok - I know you can now buy it in printed form, but not many have....
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  • welkman
    welkman Posts: 396
    Well I love it purely because it has acted as a catalyst for the best thread I have read on here in ages :) My Mrs has taken it with her on a trip to the south of France, she said to me she thinks its a pile of poo. I think she loves it but does not want to tell me because she is embarrassed!

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