The Cocktail Party

Lucky Douglas

And who are you?

Cleat Eastwood

Stewie Griffin wrote:

Just woken up and I'm starving. How did I get here? Where's the kitchen?

Thats a good point where is the kitchen? Who's nicked my kitchen.

-spider-

Hey Stewie - thanks from bringing the hen party with you - how on earth did you get an invite to that? Like the dress by the way.

Sorry about the kitchen, Cleat. The group of Tory MPs that arrived said they were hungry - so I showed them the kitchen and said 'help yourself'. Clearly they did. They also said that as your house didn't have a kitchen any more it couldn't benefit from domestic rates - your new assessment for business rates will be through soon.

Also, there is an independent enquiry into the role of the Depute Prime Ministers behaviour with Stewie's hen party - apparently, the press got a tip off from your mobile phone.

Sorry, got to go home to walk the dog. Where's the party tonight?

DavidBelcher

-spider wrote:

Sorry about the kitchen, Cleat. The group of Tory MPs that arrived said they were hungry - so I showed them the kitchen and said 'help yourself'. Clearly they did.

Group?? Sure it wasn't just Eric Pickles on his own?

David

DavidBelcher

Lucky Douglas wrote:

And who are you?

The new Number Two. I'm interested in facts; your only chance to get out of here is to give them to me. And if you don't give them, I'll take them. Now: why did you resign, Number Six?

David

nevman

-spider- wrote:

Hey Stewie - thanks from bringing the hen party with you - how on earth did you get an invite to that? Like the dress by the way.

Sorry about the kitchen, Cleat. The group of Tory MPs that arrived said they were hungry - so I showed them the kitchen and said 'help yourself'. Clearly they did. They also said that as your house didn't have a kitchen any more it couldn't benefit from domestic rates - your new assessment for business rates will be through soon.

Also, there is an independent enquiry into the role of the Depute Prime Ministers behaviour with Stewie's hen party - apparently, the press got a tip off from your mobile phone.

Sorry, got to go home to walk the dog. Where's the party tonight?

Bonfire Party at mine-bring anything that needs disposal,Jezzers Clarkson and Martin have been invited.Up to my elbows in sticky toffee and a nice Bakewell tart now leave me alone for a bit.Bring a bottle.

-spider-

Nice one Nevman - there's still some of that camel at Cleat's. Maybe that should be on the bonfire.

Did someone say they were bringing pickles?

nevman

Sorted the fireworks-so far there`s
Whirling Millicans-for Health and Safety reasons Ive nailed this to the neighbours wavylap
Fergies Volcano-no colour but explodes with lots of hot air
Jez in a Box-not a firework,Ive just nailed him into a box.
Rocket-found it in the garden but not managed to light it yet.

Gizmodo

Great fireworks nevman, shame about your neighbour's wavylap but I loved the noises when you lit that Jez in a box, bit of a strange smell though. The camel kebabs from the fire were excellent. What's with that rocket, ain't you got it lit yet?

I see cleat's eaten all the eccles cakes again. Who brought the piccalilli? I haven't seen many of those tarts you promised!

Got any more Watneys?

nevman

Come in,dont mind the whippets-bonfires` going nicely, now I`ve thrown all those unused Euros on it.There`s some white lightening cocktails on the go if you like.Parkin anyone?

-spider-

That wasn't fireworks Giz - that was the pub down the road when some returning Chelsea supporters rolled in.

You can fill your boots with the camel kebabs as far as a I'm concerned - even Ahmed seems to have liked them. Come on Cleat - get that rocket lit.

More eccles cakes will arrive with Ahmed's harem.

Frank the tank

Listen up, it's Sunday tomorra and the puritans are on their way round whippin' and beatin' the "unclean" .

Just tidy up and keep ya heads down for a bit, then on Monday it's all round to "Random mans" for a Girls in lycra/women in knitwear sh@gfest. :twisted:

nevman

Another stage lost-Im back on the wagon.Im off to a Tupperware party.

-spider-

Pretty heavy snow round here this morning so I'd better leave now. Where's the party at tonight?

-spider-

The snow's too deep - I've had togo back for the mountain bike. I might be a little late.

DavidBelcher

-spider- wrote:

The snow's too deep - I've had togo back for the mountain bike. I might be a little late.

I've heard a line like that somewhere before, which reminds me - don't forget to pop down the Co-Op and pick up a bag of Oates whilst you're out.

David

GiantMike

Now that the dust has settled and Sharon is over the unpleasantness of the Cocktail party, she has cordially agreed to a Paintball Party round at mine tonight (on the condition that there is 'no jizzin').

So, you know where I live.

For those that want to join my 'Giant Militia (defending Giant Mansions) the ramparts will be manned from 5pm. Expect attacks from 5pm onwards as the attacking hoardes try to breach Sharon's well-defended back door (into the 'cave of delights') or via the front garden into the Pink Zone. The thick bushes in the front garden have been cut back to improve safety, but be careful as it's been quite wet and slippery lately so take care.

All attacker's who enter Sharon's Pink Zone or Cave of Delights win a special prize, but must provide photographic evidence of either area to prove they have reached it.

Attackers can use any of the 'British Paintball Assoc.' approved deception and subterfuge techniques (from v2 of the BPA guide) with the exception of the 'Nimlock Shuffle' and the 'Washing Machine Repair Man'.

Whether you're a friend or foe, see from 5pm (or maybe not if your camoflague is good and Sharon's guard is down). There will be drinks and nibbles for the survivors.

SHARON:

nevman

Someone has to say it-Let me tell you, a double-fault final-play elimination hasn't occurred since the Helsinki episode of 1919, and I think we all remember how THAT turned out!

GiantMike

nevman wrote:

Someone has to say it-Let me tell you, a double-fault final-play elimination hasn't occurred since the Helsinki episode of 1919, and I think we all remember how THAT turned out!

Yes. And this time there are only 4 'safe lines' and up to 9 'infections' to contend with. It's gonna be a feckin' epic!

-spider-

Damn! I'm still on the mtb fighting through the snow. Might make it for 1900 - should I just forget it or do you think that Sharon will remain unconquered until at least then?

nevman

-spider- wrote:

Damn! I'm still on the mtb fighting through the snow. Might make it for 1900 - should I just forget it or do you think that Sharon will remain unconquered until at least then?

LA;Quit? You know, once I was thinking about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer, all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and I won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals?
Spider: Right now it feels a little bit like... shame.
Lance Armstrong: Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life. But good luck to you Spider. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever.

-spider-

You've convinced me Nevman - I'll be there!!

Where is everyone?

nevman

Whoa-whats happened,taking aim at you know who-result.A stage win.Arms aloft

Richard_D

You couldn't have done it withou't your lead out team and you then get to the cocktail party before me. Though it does seem a bit desserted. Maybe there were no survivors from the paintball attack. Fancy a single malt while we wait for the rest of them to reappear

LeicesterLad

Hi all, sorry i couldn't make the Paintballing but ive been in an alcohol induced Coma since we were last at Cleats. Feeling much better now, refreshed, done a 600 miller in the snow, fog, ice, rain, wind, mountains this morning. I heard Nevman was using live ammunition at the Paintball jaunt, its a shame about the loss of Sharon, but she fought bravely, and took one for the team.

Whats next on the agenda then? Thought maybe we could have an Alan Partridge / Diet Coke DVD night at mine or something?

Gizmodo

LeicesterLad wrote:

Hi all, sorry i couldn't make the Paintballing but ive been in an alcohol induced Coma since we were last at Cleats. Feeling much better now, refreshed, done a 600 miller in the snow, fog, ice, rain, wind, mountains this morning. I heard Nevman was using live ammunition at the Paintball jaunt, its a shame about the loss of Sharon, but she fought bravely, and took one for the team.

But what was your top speed? 77mph?

LeicesterLad wrote:

Whats next on the agenda then? Thought maybe we could have an Alan Partridge / Diet Coke DVD night at mine or something?

Sounds good, I'll have a rum in mine. I'll stop by Burger King and buy us a load of Double Whopper with Cheese and large fries. But make sure you buy DIET coke, I don't want to put on weight!

-spider-

(emerging from neatly trimmed bushes). You mean I was in the wrong garden?

DavidBelcher

Richard_D wrote:

You couldn't have done it withou't your lead out team and you then get to the cocktail party before me. Though it does seem a bit desserted. Maybe there were no survivors from the paintball attack. Fancy a single malt while we wait for the rest of them to reappear

I got disqualified from paintballing for taking too long. I think it was my insistence on using a primer and then sanding it back once dry that did it.

David

Cressers

Careful with that, That's my sister's sloe gin and it's lethal! First you'll lose contact with your legs, then you'll wake up with several hours of your life missing...

nevman

Cressers wrote:

Careful with that, That's my sister's sloe gin and it's lethal! First you'll lose contact with your legs, then you'll wake up with several hours of your life missing...

Thats what the Pope drinks-no wonder they carry him round in a chair.