a bit of friday BMW bashing, I'll start

sheepsteeth

im only joking.

but seriously

nah, i am just joking.

im jealous cause i cant aford a swanky bmw

(not really, i think they are webbo)

only joking, i like em

cooldad

sheepsteeth wrote:

BMW drivers are such wankerz man.

And proud of the years of practice and innumerable rolls of kitchen towel it has taken.

Pudseyp

sheepsteeth wrote:

im only joking.

but seriously

nah, i am just joking.

im jealous cause i cant aford a swanky bmw

(not really, i think they are webbo)

only joking, i like em

So woz I !! I have a good chugg around 3 times a day....this week it's mostly been over "fat and over forty" magazine.

Thewaylander

I rmemeber when my brother bought his BMW for his round town car...

He said it instantly made him feel like he should carve people up on the road and drive like ass... I wonder how BMW and Audi program there car's drivers or do they just attract arses on the majority

Pudseyp

bwfc4eva868

I used to think all BMW drivers were knobs, due to most of my family driving Audi cars. But since having a little play with a mate M3 I'm sold. And would love to own one in the future. Like Bmw's and fast Audis. Don't like the Mercs tho, they are driven by complete knob jockeys.

Pudseyp

bwfc4eva868 wrote:

I used to think all BMW drivers were knobs, due to most of my family driving Audi cars. But since having a little play with a mate M3 I'm sold. And would love to own one in the future. Like Bmw's and fast Audis. Don't like the Mercs tho, they are driven by complete knob jockeys.

and old tw@ts

MountainMonster

don't be jealous everyone. They only have more money than you......

1340jas

I was the proud owner of a 523 until last Wednesday night.
Whilst plodding along in the inside lane (yes inside lane) a 44 ton lorry decided to crush me against the wall under junction 27 of the M4. Not content with that he then spun me around and pushed me sideways along the motorway at 60mph until he realised what was going on. He performed a great emergency stop that catapulted me into a great spin and hurled me backwards into the concrete central reservation, then sideways, then frontways. By this point I was like a cat in a spin dryer.
A night in hospital loads of x-rays and I was sent home covered in some great bruises, and feel like i just got thrown off a roof ten times.
The car doesn't have an unmarked panel, three wheels were ground down into the alloys and the boot went from three foot to one foot in length. (written off)
I am sooooo glad It was a five series albeit a 1998 one and not a corsa or the like cause I would have been mixed with the interier.
To make it worse my missus and kids are away on holiday and I should have had a long weekend with some good mates on the bikes. The way I feel and move thats a few weeks off..
I just spent ages reading this thread and laughed my ttits off and I've got an Orange 5 to cap it all off.
Keep up the humour guys...

VWsurfbum

glad your ok and i'm glad your family were not in the car!
but at least its another BMW off the road

1340jas

Yeah..Off to India as scrap by now I would have thought...

Fully-sprung

MountainMonster wrote:

don't be jealous everyone. They only have more money than you......

Go uck your self, I have relations that have had to get a £40,000 finance deal to be able to afford one, so that means they have LESS money you blithering idiot! And what about the people that drive the older models, pick them up for a few hundred quid and think they have a superior car than everyone else? they don't have more money, they just got them cheap.

sheepsteeth

you're an idiot.

jay12

sheepsteeth wrote:

you're an idiot.

+potato

kinggareth

I owned a BMW once.
I immediately lost the ability to use indicators and my c*ck shrunk by half.

Thankfully my missus crashed it.

Into an Audi.

Bonus.

MountainMonster

Fully-sprung wrote:

MountainMonster wrote:

don't be jealous everyone. They only have more money than you......

Go uck your self, I have relations that have had to get a £40,000 finance deal to be able to afford one, so that means they have LESS money you blithering idiot! And what about the people that drive the older models, pick them up for a few hundred quid and think they have a superior car than everyone else? they don't have more money, they just got them cheap.

So you're jealous they were at least able to get the finance which you can't get, or that they have a few hundred quid to throw about? You must have as much cash as the my 6 yr old little cousin.

cooldad

sheepsteeth wrote:

you're an idiot blockhead, bonehead, cretin, dimwit, dork, dumbbell, dunce, fool, ignoramus, imbecile, jerk, kook, moron, muttonhead, nincompoop, ninny, nitwit, out to lunch, pinhead, simpleton, stupid, tomfool, twit .

FTFY

ol\'gregg

Fully-sprung wrote:

MountainMonster wrote:

don't be jealous everyone. They only have more money than you......

Go uck your self, I have relations that have had to get a £40,000 finance deal to be able to afford one, so that means they have LESS money you blithering idiot! And what about the people that drive the older models, pick them up for a few hundred quid and think they have a superior car than everyone else? they don't have more money, they just got them cheap.

you sir are a tool of the highest order

Pudseyp

Fully-sprung wrote:

MountainMonster wrote:

don't be jealous everyone. They only have more money than you......

Go uck your self, I have relations that have had to get a £40,000 finance deal to be able to afford one, so that means they have LESS money you blithering idiot! And what about the people that drive the older models, pick them up for a few hundred quid and think they have a superior car than everyone else? they don't have more money, they just got them cheap.

kcoc !!

Well if they chose to get in debt to the tune of £40k they are obviously more fuckingstupid than you you pile of monkeyspunk....

The reason I drive a BMW is I can afford one, I like it, I don't think I am above anyone else, it's cockjanglers like you that have a chip on your shoulder thinks they think they are above anyone only coz you probably drive a shit heap....

spongtastic

I must be the biggest cockjangler in the world for having lottery scale savings, plus 3 pensions whilst driving a fiat panda then. Ooh I'm so jealous of people who choose to spend shit loads of cash on a car they can't drive to it's full potential on uk roads.

But seriously cars are the same as bikes, if you can afford one it's your decision and why the f**k not. I've owned everything from a datsun cherry that was blue hammerite and on 3 cylinders to a coach built jaguar Mk10 2 door that did 6mpg so either way I know both sides of the argument.

Ryan Jones

Fully-sprung wrote:

[Go uck your self, blah blah blah blah.

1: If you can afford £40k on finance and decide to buy a new car with it thereby putting yourself into debt for something that'll be worth 1/4 of what you've paid by the time the finance is settled you're a bigger tool than even the snap on van could carry
2: BMW's aren't like orange 5's I have you know, you can tell the difference in looks between a 10 year old one and a brand new model pretty easily !

Of course, when you have a BMW, you have run flat tyres which come in really handy if your dustcaps get stolen and the tyres let down

gmacz

Tay road bridge, left lane closed and blocked at 3/4 distance and everyone in right hand lane and lefthand lane is empty except for 2 cars.
A tall one and a not so tall one.
Nobody would let them in, I am going back tomorrow to see if they are still stuck in the left lane.If it was a range rover or land rover, I would have left a space. I wonder how many people crossed the bmw of their wanted list after watching the 2 diddys try and force their way in. I know that at least one did.

tom_howard

Pudseyp wrote:

it's cockjanglers like you that have a chip on your shoulder thinks they think they are above anyone only coz you probably drive a shoot heap....

Oh contraire, iirc he isnt be old enough for a license, much less old enough to have a job paying enough for him to be able to afford finance on a £40k BMW. I mean, he can barely afford to keep himself in dust caps.

Pudseyp

gmacz wrote:

Tay road bridge, left lane closed and blocked at 3/4 distance and everyone in right hand lane and lefthand lane is empty except for 2 cars.
A tall one and a not so tall one.
Nobody would let them in, I am going back tomorrow to see if they are still stuck in the left lane.If it was a range rover or land rover, I would have left a space. I wonder how many people crossed the bmw of their wanted list after watching the 2 diddys try and force their way in. I know that at least one did.

blah blah blah.....cockjangler

Tartanyak

Okay... How's about this.

I have a BMW and a cheap shitheap - both as the same car

<goes out to hug BMW>

It is a nice feeling when I get the look of surprise as I let someone out of a junction... Or indicate... I've even been known to let an Audi out.

cooldad

gmacz wrote:

Tay road bridge, left lane closed and blocked at 3/4 distance and everyone in right hand lane and lefthand lane is empty except for 2 cars.
A tall one and a not so tall one.
Nobody would let them in, I am going back tomorrow to see if they are still stuck in the left lane.If it was a range rover or land rover, I would have left a space. I wonder how many people crossed the bmw of their wanted list after watching the 2 diddys try and force their way in. I know that at least one did.

I have been told that too much crack is bad for you.

Stevo_666

Tartanyak wrote:

It is a nice feeling when I get the look of surprise as I let someone out of a junction... Or indicate... I've even been known to let an Audi out.

That's dangerous, people might crash from the sheer shock.

Kaise

I drive a ford focus,

I have owned a BMW

I feel ashamed as and dirty

but i now drive a car "for the decerning motorist around town!"

plus it fits my main criteria;

Wont get pinched
Fits 2 bikes in easy
goes forward
goes backward
goes round corners
can run Fully Sprung over if i ever see him

therefore WIN

Pudseyp

kaiser83 wrote:

I drive a ford focus

Kaise

Pudseyp wrote:

kaiser83 wrote:

I drive a ford focus

you found a good likeness of me, im impressed, i didnt think i had any pictures that came up in google image searches!

my focus cost me £3k and other than the usual (cheap) maintenance, i havent had a single problem in 3.5 yrs, i have spent more cash on bikes, life and living (and saving) than i would if i still owned that BMW, i am therefore a happy man

also BMW means Black Mans Willy............