Kids - convince me they're worth it

NGale

He's the one getting broody at the moment. Even at 32 I still don't feel ready.

prawny

Only just spotted this thread due to the wife having our second on wednesday morning.

I'd say she was more keen to have kids than I was but I suspect it's because she's older than me. I still didn't need much convincing though.

I love my kids, my son's 2 in march and he's ace, my girl is a bit dull at the mo, but give her a few weeks and she'll start getting fun too.

I'm glad I had my kids fairly young, I'm just 27 now so I'll only be in my 40's when they're in their teens, I did all my young person stuff before they were born and when they leave home (hopefully) I'll be young enough to have some more fun.

Coriander

prawny wrote:

Only just spotted this thread due to the wife having our second on wednesday morning.

I'd say she was more keen to have kids than I was but I suspect it's because she's older than me. I still didn't need much convincing though.

I love my kids, my son's 2 in march and he's ace, my girl is a bit dull at the mo, but give her a few weeks and she'll start getting fun too.

I'm glad I had my kids fairly young, I'm just 27 now so I'll only be in my 40's when they're in their teens, I did all my young person stuff before they were born and when they leave home (hopefully) I'll be young enough to have some more fun.

Very many congratulations, fab news!!!

tailwindhome

Congrats

Paddy O Dawes

(censored and abandoned)

greg66_tri_v2.0

prawny wrote:

Only just spotted this thread due to the wife having our second on wednesday morning.

I'd say she was more keen to have kids than I was but I suspect it's because she's older than me. I still didn't need much convincing though.

I love my kids, my son's 2 in march and he's ace, my girl is a bit dull at the mo, but give her a few weeks and she'll start getting fun too.

I'm glad I had my kids fairly young, I'm just 27 now so I'll only be in my 40's when they're in their teens, I did all my young person stuff before they were born and when they leave home (hopefully) I'll be young enough to have some more fun.

Yeah, well, at two days, they tend not to have figured out the whole "hold your audience in the palm of your hand" trick. Give it til next Tuesday and you'll be looking for an agent though.

Re your last para: right idea, wrong reasons. You'll be glad of the energy. By the time they leave home you'll be glad you're not dead.

Clever Pun

congratulations Prawny

bikey2009

I've read a lot of different things within this post, it looks to me that there are three groups of "possible expecting parents"......................

Yes I want Kids, No I don't want kids and ...........Your'e WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

richara3

moments like these will stay with you for the rest of your life...


Andy

bikey2009

The little one looks like she's thinking, mmmmm........what's all the fuss about!!!!

greg66_tri_v2.0

Is that young Bobby Sands?

bikey2009

Three kids here.......four if you include me

tlw1

Best thing we ever did, wish we had done it earlier (we were 32), but glad we didn't! (makes sence in my world)!

always_tyred

Now, you see this is precisely the point.

Richara3, as someone who doesn't have children, I look at that picture and think, "Yeah, I might be traumatised for a while as well." There's nothing about your picture (regardless of whether or not your children are wonderful, which they probably are to you) which would possibly induce me to think, "Awww, sweet". There just isn't, and people who have kids seem to instantaneously forget that anyone else might not share their world view about them or being a parent generally.

Honestly, I had a stronger reaction to seeing a pair of pine martens running across the road when I was driving to the highlands a few weeks ago.

So, you ask people who have kids if it was worth it, as the OP has done, and you get an inherently biased answer from people who simply CAN'T give another answer, because the decision to have children in the first place meant losing the right to be negative about the whole thing, because, well, you are bloody stuck with it aren't you?

Its about as worthwhile a question as asking divorcees if they recommend marriage, as they are leaving Family Court.

For that reason, I find even the percentage of parents who ARE negative about the whole thing quite telling.

andrewjoseph

Il Principe wrote:

andrewjoseph wrote:

You either need to have kids to feel complete, or you don't.

Yeah but surely the only way to know this is to have one? Problem is, you can't exactly take him/her back can you now?

... /quote]

I appreciate your concerns, but if you don't feel the need to have kids, if you don't NEED to be a father, then I think you shouldn't attempt it.

With Bev and me it was something we wanted at 16, I knew I wanted to be a dad and couldn't entertain the idea that I would never have kids.

If you don't have this urge by now then I think you never will.

Bassjunkieuk

I think I've come up with a plan so that my kids could save me money, but it won't work for at least another 7 years or so......

Get them to get their first jobs at the stores you use most :-) Instant savings (once they clear the probationary period...) with their staff discount! This will probably mean my eldest will end up as a checkout assistant at Sainsbury or Asda then I can get the next one into the other! I then have 4 more to cover the other bases of electronics, clothing, furniture and DIY :-D

Clever Pun

Bassjunkie before sending two of his kids out to work

pastryboy

Always Tyred wrote:

people who have kids seem to instantaneously forget that anyone else might not share their world view about them or being a parent generally.

That's exactly how I felt. Never been too fussed by kids and scoffed at people who had pictures of them on their desks in offices (in fairness I still scoff at that).

My wife always wanted kids so it was sort of inevitable. After we got married and were settled it was a casefor me of 'what now' and it seemed like a good idea in the sense that it would be life changing. I warmed to the idea of having a kid. So we did.

When she was first born I have to admit to being pretty unimpressed - I looked at her and thought it's a baby just like any other - no connection or big emotional moment (well apart from the bit when I thought she had died within seconds of being born - that was rather emotional). First few months was like that too - didn't feel anything particularly different.

It changes though when they start to develop into a little person - what I get back from my little girl is what makes being a parent special - it's not a feeling you can get from anything else.

I'm still totally disinterested in other people's kids though and get bored to tears by people who bang on about the 'funny thing' their kids did. I get all that too and it's just a special but I wouldn't bore anyone else with it or expect them to care.

shouldbeinbed

prawny wrote:

Only just spotted this thread due to the wife having our second on wednesday morning.

I'd say she was more keen to have kids than I was but I suspect it's because she's older than me. I still didn't need much convincing though.

I love my kids, my son's 2 in march and he's ace, my girl is a bit dull at the mo, but give her a few weeks and she'll start getting fun too.

I'm glad I had my kids fairly young, I'm just 27 now so I'll only be in my 40's when they're in their teens, I did all my young person stuff before they were born and when they leave home (hopefully) I'll be young enough to have some more fun.

congratulations Prawny. Just the right age difference to fight like Tom and Jerry

@ Always Tyred. I'm pretty intolerant of other peoples kids when they're running riot in restaurants or spoiling the film with shouting and chucking popcorn about.
Parents should always take consideration of other peoples feelings. It's only me that should find my kids a PITA, not everyone else. I always get a little warm glow when someone tells me how well behaved or polite they are, even if it is mindboggling to compare that to the armageddon that goes on at home :?

lost_in_thought

Always Tyred wrote:

Now, you see this is precisely the point.

Richara3, as someone who doesn't have children, I look at that picture and think, "Yeah, I might be traumatised for a while as well." There's nothing about your picture (regardless of whether or not your children are wonderful, which they probably are to you) which would possibly induce me to think, "Awww, sweet". There just isn't, and people who have kids seem to instantaneously forget that anyone else might not share their world view about them or being a parent generally.

Honestly, I had a stronger reaction to seeing a pair of pine martens running across the road when I was driving to the highlands a few weeks ago.

So, you ask people who have kids if it was worth it, as the OP has done, and you get an inherently biased answer from people who simply CAN'T give another answer, because the decision to have children in the first place meant losing the right to be negative about the whole thing, because, well, you are bloody stuck with it aren't you?

Its about as worthwhile a question as asking divorcees if they recommend marriage, as they are leaving Family Court.

For that reason, I find even the percentage of parents who ARE negative about the whole thing quite telling.

+1.

And I always feel guilty for not thinking 'awwww sweet' so I say it anyway when what I'm actually thinking is 'ugh god'. Especially on planes, or trains, or people's houses.

Oh and why, why, why do people assume I want to hold their babies? Stop it. I don't.

il_principe

lost_in_thought wrote:

+1.

And I always feel guilty for not thinking 'awwww sweet' so I say it anyway when what I'm actually thinking is 'ugh god'. Especially on planes, or trains, or people's houses.

Oh and why, why, why do people assume I want to hold their babies? Stop it. I don't.

I've never held a baby, never ever. Scared I'd break the damn thing. But other people's kids - not until I can have a proper convo with them. That pic of the food covered kid from a few pages ago just makes me think 'fcuking hell, i don't want to clear that lot up,' not 'awww that's sweet.' I like other people's kids when they are quite and well behaved, my household may be a little Victorian...

UndercoverElephant

Il Principe wrote:

I've never held a baby, never ever. Scared I'd break the damn thing. But other people's kids - not until I can have a proper convo with them. That pic of the food covered kid from a few pages ago just makes me think 'fcuking hell, i don't want to clear that lot up,' not 'awww that's sweet.' I like other people's kids when they are quite and well behaved, my household may be a little Victorian...

I'd never held a baby either, until my eldest was born.

A lot of other people's kids are little buggers. Mine are really very nice, even if I say so myself.

lost_in_thought

UndercoverElephant wrote:

A lot of other people's kids are little buggers. Mine are really very nice, even if I say so myself.

EVERYONE thinks that. You very rarely hear people saying 'my kids are such little sh*ts', but it's so regularly true.

shoulder_of_orion

He was being ironic.

Other peoples children are always irksome, your own not so much...

.. and actually when you are a parent you do exchange the brutal truth with other parents... there are some things you do not see until you get there...

Big Wib

Bassjunkieuk wrote:

I think I've come up with a plan so that my kids could save me money, but it won't work for at least another 7 years or so......

Get them to get their first jobs at the stores you use most :-) Instant savings (once they clear the probationary period...) with their staff discount! This will probably mean my eldest will end up as a checkout assistant at Sainsbury or Asda then I can get the next one into the other! I then have 4 more to cover the other bases of electronics, clothing, furniture and DIY :-D

not the bike shop or would that be too much temptation?

Big Wib

shouldbeinbed wrote:

@ Always Tyred. I'm pretty intolerant of other peoples kids when they're running riot in restaurants or spoiling the film with shouting and chucking popcorn about.
Parents should always take consideration of other peoples feelings. It's only me that should find my kids a PITA, not everyone else. I always get a little warm glow when someone tells me how well behaved or polite they are, even if it is mindboggling to compare that to the armageddon that goes on at home :?

+ 1

& congrats prawny

in reply to the OP, I think my two have been worth it but its a personal choice and I'm not going to proselytise

richara3

Always Tyred wrote:

Now, you see this is precisely the point.

Richara3, as someone who doesn't have children, I look at that picture and think, "Yeah, I might be traumatised for a while as well." There's nothing about your picture (regardless of whether or not your children are wonderful, which they probably are to you) which would possibly induce me to think, "Awww, sweet". There just isn't, and people who have kids seem to instantaneously forget that anyone else might not share their world view about them or being a parent generally.

Honestly, I had a stronger reaction to seeing a pair of pine martens running across the road when I was driving to the highlands a few weeks ago.

So, you ask people who have kids if it was worth it, as the OP has done, and you get an inherently biased answer from people who simply CAN'T give another answer, because the decision to have children in the first place meant losing the right to be negative about the whole thing, because, well, you are bloody stuck with it aren't you?

Its about as worthwhile a question as asking divorcees if they recommend marriage, as they are leaving Family Court.

For that reason, I find even the percentage of parents who ARE negative about the whole thing quite telling.

I agree with you . What I find upsetting is not the number of couples that dont have children but the number of couples that do but obviously should not have bothered as they neither have nor show any inclination to be a loving and decent parent. I would argue its more responsible to not have children if you dont feel you can step up to the mark as a parent than to become a parent and be sh*t.
Its also not just about the ability to be a parent but more about wanting to be a parent.Only you will know !
Andy

prawny

UndercoverElephant wrote:

Il Principe wrote:

I've never held a baby, never ever. Scared I'd break the damn thing. But other people's kids - not until I can have a proper convo with them. That pic of the food covered kid from a few pages ago just makes me think 'fcuking hell, i don't want to clear that lot up,' not 'awww that's sweet.' I like other people's kids when they are quite and well behaved, my household may be a little Victorian...

I'd never held a baby either, until my eldest was born.

A lot of other people's kids are little buggers. Mine are really very nice, even if I say so myself.

Me too, never been interested with anyone elses kids, they make me uncomfortable. I think now I may have held 4 kids including my own.

Oh and thanks everyone. I'm fookin knackered today

Big Wib

prawny wrote:

Oh and thanks everyone. I'm fookin knackered today

don't worry it gets easier. after all, my daughter hasn't been up for several hours in the middle of the night since last night (she's 8 )

(she was also 3 before she slept through properly :twisted: )

Rich158

Oh god I can't be bothered to read all 11 pages worth so I suspect someone will already have said this.

What I will consider my crowning glory is watching my two kids go out into the world as succesfull adults, and that makes all the pain worthwhile I don't think any parent can ask for more, and the warm glow of satisfaction it gives you deep down inside makes it all worthwhile.

On the other hand they can't leave home soon enough so I can have my life back!

In reality I class them as two of my closest friends, and I think the greatest gift I have left to give them is the ability to let them go, with my blessing and support.

Was it all worth it, of course, if only they'd take the hint and leave now