Useless Things That will Hasten the Demise of Civilisation

jonginge

cjcp wrote:

On the 4x4 SUV-style front...

Now, I don't necessarily like them, but, given the fact that they have been used to charge snow drifts and save people in the last week, you can certainly see a need for them.

Agas are great things.

My mate lives in the Surrey Hills. He has an Aga and a 4x4. Admittedly, the 4x4 is a land rover. There's a hill outside his house and he's been using the landy to push cars that can't make it

lost_in_thought

Greg66 wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Porgy wrote:

aga cookers - as if middle class people aren't doing their best to wreck the planet with their 4xwheel drives, they then stick one of these inefficient monstrosities in their country cottage. :evil:

But isn't the point of an aga that it will keep your cottage warm when you're not there? If you're only going to be there from Friday night to Sunday afternoon, you certainly don't want to arrive in a chilly house, so it's much better to leave the aga running all week to keep the house warm. And stop pipes freezing.

Especially with the climate changing so much at the moment.

It's absolutely awful if, for example, your mother is in Australia having told you that we'll need more gas, and you and your brother, again hypothetically speaking, have totally forgotten about the gas and focused on drinking all the beer. And the aga goes out.

Aaaaagh so cold! And no stove! And no heating!

And what's more, it takes a good couple of days to get back up to temperature... never switch your aga off...

Have you not got a couple of patio heaters you can use as back up? We've been using our to melt snow on the patio for the last couple of evenings. It's not very good at the job, I must admit, but it beats shovelling and sweeping.

We lit both wood fires, the coal fires and two of the chimineas...

I've been leaving my cars running in the hope that the heat from the engine will melt the snow. So far it's working, but slowly.

il_principe

Until today I'd never heard of a chiminea. Sounds like a breed of small, yappy dog. I've seen chiminea's around, never known that's what they're called.

attica

lost_in_thought wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Porgy wrote:

aga cookers - as if middle class people aren't doing their best to wreck the planet with their 4xwheel drives, they then stick one of these inefficient monstrosities in their country cottage. :evil:

But isn't the point of an aga that it will keep your cottage warm when you're not there? If you're only going to be there from Friday night to Sunday afternoon, you certainly don't want to arrive in a chilly house, so it's much better to leave the aga running all week to keep the house warm. And stop pipes freezing.

Especially with the climate changing so much at the moment.

It's absolutely awful if, for example, your mother is in Australia having told you that we'll need more gas, and you and your brother, again hypothetically speaking, have totally forgotten about the gas and focused on drinking all the beer. And the aga goes out.

Aaaaagh so cold! And no stove! And no heating!

And what's more, it takes a good couple of days to get back up to temperature... never switch your aga off...

Have you not got a couple of patio heaters you can use as back up? We've been using our to melt snow on the patio for the last couple of evenings. It's not very good at the job, I must admit, but it beats shovelling and sweeping.

We lit both wood fires, the coal fires and two of the chimineas...

I've been leaving my cars running in the hope that the heat from the engine will melt the snow. So far it's working, but slowly.

You'd be amazed how much petrol you need to burn in order clear the snow off the drive.

lost_in_thought

Attica wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Porgy wrote:

aga cookers - as if middle class people aren't doing their best to wreck the planet with their 4xwheel drives, they then stick one of these inefficient monstrosities in their country cottage. :evil:

But isn't the point of an aga that it will keep your cottage warm when you're not there? If you're only going to be there from Friday night to Sunday afternoon, you certainly don't want to arrive in a chilly house, so it's much better to leave the aga running all week to keep the house warm. And stop pipes freezing.

Especially with the climate changing so much at the moment.

It's absolutely awful if, for example, your mother is in Australia having told you that we'll need more gas, and you and your brother, again hypothetically speaking, have totally forgotten about the gas and focused on drinking all the beer. And the aga goes out.

Aaaaagh so cold! And no stove! And no heating!

And what's more, it takes a good couple of days to get back up to temperature... never switch your aga off...

Have you not got a couple of patio heaters you can use as back up? We've been using our to melt snow on the patio for the last couple of evenings. It's not very good at the job, I must admit, but it beats shovelling and sweeping.

We lit both wood fires, the coal fires and two of the chimineas...

I've been leaving my cars running in the hope that the heat from the engine will melt the snow. So far it's working, but slowly.

You'd be amazed how much petrol you need to burn in order clear the snow off the drive.

Maybe if I put the petrol straight on the drive and lit it...

suzyb

Snow and very cold temperatures.

Since the recent weather has shown it will end civilisation (at least in this country) if it lasts long enough.

Hmm I wonder if I could try the same trick as LiT on our street without setting everyone's car on fire.

Fireblade96

I'm considering trying to use the leaf blower to clear snow.

Could be fun :-)

prawny

Il Principe wrote:

Until today I'd never heard of a chiminea. Sounds like a breed of small, yappy dog. I've seen chiminea's around, never known that's what they're called.

Wow I feel all cultered. My exes dad had one, bit of a hippy after the breakdown. Top geezer though, and cracking baked potatoes.

attica

lost_in_thought wrote:

Maybe if I put the petrol straight on the drive and lit it...

tried it, it was a bugger to light and took several gallons just to clear a path to my Hummer

DonDaddyD

lost_in_thought wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Porgy wrote:

aga cookers - as if middle class people aren't doing their best to wreck the planet with their 4xwheel drives, they then stick one of these inefficient monstrosities in their country cottage. :evil:

But isn't the point of an aga that it will keep your cottage warm when you're not there? If you're only going to be there from Friday night to Sunday afternoon, you certainly don't want to arrive in a chilly house, so it's much better to leave the aga running all week to keep the house warm. And stop pipes freezing.

Especially with the climate changing so much at the moment.

It's absolutely awful if, for example, your mother is in Australia having told you that we'll need more gas, and you and your brother, again hypothetically speaking, have totally forgotten about the gas and focused on drinking all the beer. And the aga goes out.

Aaaaagh so cold! And no stove! And no heating!

And what's more, it takes a good couple of days to get back up to temperature... never switch your aga off...

Have you not got a couple of patio heaters you can use as back up? We've been using our to melt snow on the patio for the last couple of evenings. It's not very good at the job, I must admit, but it beats shovelling and sweeping.

We lit both wood fires, the coal fires and two of the chimineas...

I've been leaving my cars running in the hope that the heat from the engine will melt the snow. So far it's working, but slowly.

There are environmentalists rolling around on the floor at the base of their computer desk in a full on fit at this conversation...

What about the dolphins?

.

attica

Ah, you won't catch me out like that.
I only eat Tuna Friendly Dolphin

UndercoverElephant

Don't be silly DDD, a dolphin is far to large to bake in a chiminea.

greg66_tri_v2.0

Attica wrote:

Ah, you won't catch me out like that.
I only eat Tuna Friendly Dolphin

Aye. Me too.

The tuna and the dolphin are so friendly that sometimes you find bits of dolphin in the tuna can. Which is right proper tasty.

Maybe I should buy Tuna That Hate Dolphin.

wgwarburton

Greg66 wrote:

Maybe I should buy Tuna That Hate Dolphin.

It can't be much fun being a dolphin friendly tuna- You're a prime target for fishermen and your mates try to eat you...

I reckon Tuna That Hate Dolphin have a big evolutionary advantage.

Cheers,
W.

il_principe

UndercoverElephant wrote:

Don't be silly DDD, a dolphin is far to large to bake in a chiminea.

Not if you chop it up first.

attica

Mmm, sliced Dolphin, How do you cook yours?

Are we on the food thread or the civilisation thread?

greg66_tri_v2.0

DonDaddyD wrote:

There are environmentalists rolling around on the floor of their caves in a full on fit at this conversation...

.

Fixed!

tailwindhome

WGWarburton wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Maybe I should buy Tuna That Hate Dolphin.

It can't be much fun being a dolphin friendly tuna- You're a prime target for fishermen and your mates try to eat you...

I reckon Tuna That Hate Dolphin have a big evolutionary advantage.

Cheers,
W.

If God intended Tuna to hate Dolphin he would have created them that way



FACT

lost_in_thought

Attica wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Maybe if I put the petrol straight on the drive and lit it...

tried it, it was a bugger to light and took several gallons just to clear a path to my Hummer

Bah, well that's no good then. What if I use coal instead? It's only about a mile of road I've got to clear after all...

tailwindhome

You English are so stupid.

Leaving the AGA on to stop pipes freezing.

Just do it Donegal style - leave the taps running, saves a fortune on heating bills and no frozen pipes.

Sewinman

DonDaddyD wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Porgy wrote:

aga cookers - as if middle class people aren't doing their best to wreck the planet with their 4xwheel drives, they then stick one of these inefficient monstrosities in their country cottage. :evil:

But isn't the point of an aga that it will keep your cottage warm when you're not there? If you're only going to be there from Friday night to Sunday afternoon, you certainly don't want to arrive in a chilly house, so it's much better to leave the aga running all week to keep the house warm. And stop pipes freezing.

Especially with the climate changing so much at the moment.

It's absolutely awful if, for example, your mother is in Australia having told you that we'll need more gas, and you and your brother, again hypothetically speaking, have totally forgotten about the gas and focused on drinking all the beer. And the aga goes out.

Aaaaagh so cold! And no stove! And no heating!

And what's more, it takes a good couple of days to get back up to temperature... never switch your aga off...

Have you not got a couple of patio heaters you can use as back up? We've been using our to melt snow on the patio for the last couple of evenings. It's not very good at the job, I must admit, but it beats shovelling and sweeping.

We lit both wood fires, the coal fires and two of the chimineas...

I've been leaving my cars running in the hope that the heat from the engine will melt the snow. So far it's working, but slowly.

There are environmentalists rolling around on the floor at the base of their computer desk in a full on fit at this conversation...

What about the dolphins?

.

And civil servants at the treasury rubbing their hands with glee.

Wallace1492

Attica wrote:

Mmm, sliced Dolphin, How do you cook yours?

Are we on the food thread or the civilisation thread?

http://recipeland.com/recipe/v/Grilled-Mustard-Crusted-Dolphin-31322

Yummy!!

attica

lost_in_thought wrote:

Attica wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Maybe if I put the petrol straight on the drive and lit it...

tried it, it was a bugger to light and took several gallons just to clear a path to my Hummer

Bah, well that's no good then. What if I use coal instead? It's only about a mile of road I've got to clear after all...

Ask yourself this: What would Clarkson do.

:idea:

Dynamite

Wallace1492

lost_in_thought wrote:

Attica wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Maybe if I put the petrol straight on the drive and lit it...

tried it, it was a bugger to light and took several gallons just to clear a path to my Hummer

Bah, well that's no good then. What if I use coal instead? It's only about a mile of road I've got to clear after all...

Mate of mine took a sledgehammer to the pavement to clear the hard packed ice....
Just waiting till after the thaw when the Local Authority turn up and charge him for replacing a broken up pavement.

Christophe3967

Fireblade96 wrote:

And if you buy a chiminea, you can get it to do this* :

You can't do that with a patio heater :twisted:

*This sort of use of a chiminea may invalidate your warranty, house insurance, etc. Not recommended if you live in a flat !

They're very good for cooking polar bear steak as well. Just make sure you trim all the fat off first and remember that marinating the meat for at least two hours is essential...

attica

Christophe3967 wrote:

They're very good for cooking polar bear steak as well. Just make sure you trim all the fat off first and remember that marinating the meat for at least two hours is essential...

I like mine rare...

I'll get me (fur) coat

greg66_tri_v2.0

Christophe3967 wrote:

They're very good for cooking polar bear steak as well. Just make sure you trim all the fat off first and remember that marinating the meat for at least two hours is essential...

I've gone off polar bear lately. Too salty. I think it's because they're doing a lot more swimming in the sea now.

Stupid polar bears. Don't go swimming! Are you trying to taste bad or something?

But a bacon & cheese panda burger kicks ass! As long as you use Swiss cheese.

DonDaddyD

Greg66 wrote:

Christophe3967 wrote:

They're very good for cooking polar bear steak as well. Just make sure you trim all the fat off first and remember that marinating the meat for at least two hours is essential...

I've gone off polar bear lately. Too salty. I think it's because they're doing a lot more swimming in the sea now.

Stupid polar bears. Don't go swimming! Are you trying to taste bad or something?

Surely we can just keep them in a hut and stuffed in a cage like chickens?

Battery polar bears... now there's a thought

Baby seal steak now thats a meat that has to be cooked gently.

_Brun_

Has anyone else noticed Fox's Glacier Mints are smaller than they used to be?

greg66_tri_v2.0

DonDaddyD wrote:

Baby seal steak now thats a meat that has to be cooked gently.

That's why they tenderize it the ol' fashioned way first.