Useless Things That will Hasten the Demise of Civilisation

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  • cjcp
    cjcp Posts: 13,345
    DesWeller wrote:
    0scar wrote:
    Free newspapers, they just rehash newswires and press releases, without original content. They take market share away from real papers who then can't pay their people. If the news isn't important enough to buy a paper, read a book instead; like people used to do before the bloody Metro.

    In my house, free newspapers fulfill a vital function: mopping. Waste cooking fats, spilt drinks, dripping chain lube - it's all the same to the Gloucester Echo (or whatever it's called).

    And soaking up the rain in my cycling shoes.
    FCN 2-4.

    "What happens when the hammer goes down, kids?"
    "It stays down, Daddy."
    "Exactly."
  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    lost_in_thought wrote:
    _Brun_ wrote:
    Has anyone else noticed Fox's Glacier Mints are smaller than they used to be?

    :lol::lol:

    Proof of global warming ?
  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    Public Relations Officers
    Management Consultants
  • mrc1
    mrc1 Posts: 852
    Jay dubbleU wrote:
    lost_in_thought wrote:
    _Brun_ wrote:
    Has anyone else noticed Fox's Glacier Mints are smaller than they used to be?

    :lol::lol:

    Proof of global warming ?

    Haha brilliant
    http://www.ledomestiquetours.co.uk

    Le Domestique Tours - Bespoke cycling experiences with unrivalled supported riding, knowledge and expertise.

    Ciocc Extro - FCN 1
  • attica
    attica Posts: 2,362
    EDIT

    sorry to all the consultants out there, I just accidentally posted something very rude about them
    "Impressive break"

    "Thanks...

    ...I can taste blood"
  • Christophe3967
    Christophe3967 Posts: 1,200
    Attica wrote:
    EDIT

    sorry to all the consultants out there, I just accidentally posted something very rude about them

    With apologies to anyone who's heard it already...

    A shepherd was tending his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a dust cloud approached at high speed, out of which emerged a shiny silver BMW. The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Ferragamo shoes, the latest Polarized sunglasses and a tightly knotted power tie, poked his head out the window and asked the shepherd, "Hey! If I can tell you how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

    The shepherd looked at the man, then glanced at his peacefully grazing flock and answered, "Sure."

    The driver parked his car, plugged his microscopic cell phone into a laptop and briskly surfed to a GPS satellite navigation system on the Internet and initiated a remote body-heat scan of the area. While the computer was occupied, he sent some e-mail via his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, nodded solemnly at the responses. Finally, he printed a 150 page report on the little laser printer in his glove compartment, turned to the shepherd, waving the sheaves of paper, and pronounced “You have exactly 1,586 sheep."

    "Impressive. One of my sheep is yours." said the shepherd.

    He watched the young man select an animal and bundle it into his car. Then the shepherd said: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

    Pleased to meet a fellow sportsman, the young man replied “You’re on.”

    "You are a consultant." said the shepherd without hesitation.

    "That's correct," said the young man, impressed. "How ever did you guess?"

    "It wasn’t a guess," replied the shepherd. "You drive into my field uninvited. You ask me to pay you for information I already know, answer questions I haven’t asked, and you know nothing about my business. Now give me my back my dog."
    Bike1
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/35118936@N07/3258551288/
    Bike 2
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/35118936@N ... otostream/
    New Bike
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/35118936@N07/3479300346/
  • warthog562
    warthog562 Posts: 40
    I vote to limit the health and saftey people to one per hundred work sites they are a pain in the butt. our one is an ex kitchen hand who is trying to tell me how to repair a machine safely that he knows nothing about. I have been using an angle grinder since I was 10 and now they tell me I have to do a power tools course for something I can rebuild and test quite fine. same goes for the ladder that is only two steps high.
    trek 7.9fx with mudgaurds (Thanks terk for warrenty freebie)

    kona kula

    mtbr come commuter
  • jimmypippa
    jimmypippa Posts: 1,712
    warthog562 wrote:
    I vote to limit the health and saftey people to one per hundred work sites they are a pain in the butt. our one is an ex kitchen hand who is trying to tell me how to repair a machine safely that he knows nothing about. I have been using an angle grinder since I was 10 and now they tell me I have to do a power tools course for something I can rebuild and test quite fine. same goes for the ladder that is only two steps high.

    A lot of the stories where "health and safety" are quoted as reasons are nothing to do with the Health and safety at work act, but either some overzealous/idiotic interpretation of it or for insurance reasons, which are subtly different.

    http://www.hse.gov.uk/myth/index.htm
    No, I don't work in Health and Safety.


    There also seem to have been a fair number of successful prosecutions, which implies to me that the act is needed.
    http://www.bikehike.co.uk/mapview.php?id=6404
  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    Political correctness
  • bails87
    bails87 Posts: 12,998
    People who say "PC gone mad" :wink:
    MTB/CX

    "As I said last time, it won't happen again."
  • attica
    attica Posts: 2,362
    Christophe3967 wrote:
    Attica wrote:
    EDIT

    sorry to all the consultants out there, I just accidentally posted something very rude about them

    With apologies to anyone who's heard it already...

    Haha, mine was far simpler, it just involved an anagram of cONSuLTAnt :wink:
    "Impressive break"

    "Thanks...

    ...I can taste blood"
  • Christophe3967
    Christophe3967 Posts: 1,200
    Attica wrote:
    Christophe3967 wrote:
    Attica wrote:
    EDIT

    sorry to all the consultants out there, I just accidentally posted something very rude about them

    With apologies to anyone who's heard it already...

    Haha, mine was far simpler, it just involved an anagram of cONSuLTAnt :wink:

    :) Doubtless one from Scunthorpe...
    Bike1
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/35118936@N07/3258551288/
    Bike 2
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/35118936@N ... otostream/
    New Bike
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/35118936@N07/3479300346/
  • attica
    attica Posts: 2,362
    Is that near Clitheroe?
    "Impressive break"

    "Thanks...

    ...I can taste blood"
  • bails87
    bails87 Posts: 12,998
    Attica wrote:
    Is that near Clitheroe?

    The missus keeps moaning I don't know the way to Clitheroe, don't see why it matters, I wouldn't bother going there even if I did know....
    MTB/CX

    "As I said last time, it won't happen again."
  • rolf_f
    rolf_f Posts: 16,015
    Christophe3967 wrote:
    Doubtless one from Scunthorpe...

    Twined with Penistone (or it really should be!)
    Faster than a tent.......
  • Wallace1492
    Wallace1492 Posts: 3,707
    Rolf F wrote:
    Christophe3967 wrote:
    Doubtless one from Scunthorpe...

    Twined with Penistone (or it really should be!)

    Reminds me of the long established company called Pen Island that sold all sorts of pens and associated writing stuff. Then the digital age came and they got a website - yes PenisLand.com (my capitals) The shame....
    "Encyclopaedia is a fetish for very small bicycles"
  • attica
    attica Posts: 2,362
    Wallace1492 wrote:
    Rolf F wrote:
    Christophe3967 wrote:
    Doubtless one from Scunthorpe...

    Twined with Penistone (or it really should be!)

    Reminds me of the long established company called Pen Island that sold all sorts of pens and associated writing stuff. Then the digital age came and they got a website - yes PenisLand.com (my capitals) The shame....

    don't forget the Italian electricity company Gen Italia, their url was good, see also, ExpertsExchange.com and many others
    "Impressive break"

    "Thanks...

    ...I can taste blood"
  • Wallace1492
    Wallace1492 Posts: 3,707
    Attica wrote:
    Wallace1492 wrote:
    Rolf F wrote:
    Christophe3967 wrote:
    Doubtless one from Scunthorpe...

    Twined with Penistone (or it really should be!)

    Reminds me of the long established company called Pen Island that sold all sorts of pens and associated writing stuff. Then the digital age came and they got a website - yes PenisLand.com (my capitals) The shame....

    don't forget the Italian electricity company Gen Italia, their url was good, see also, ExpertsExchange.com and many others

    What worries me in that url are the number of people that don't get them. Do we still educate people in the colonies?
    "Encyclopaedia is a fetish for very small bicycles"
  • attica
    attica Posts: 2,362
    Wallace1492 wrote:
    Attica wrote:
    Wallace1492 wrote:
    Rolf F wrote:
    Christophe3967 wrote:
    Doubtless one from Scunthorpe...

    Twined with Penistone (or it really should be!)

    Reminds me of the long established company called Pen Island that sold all sorts of pens and associated writing stuff. Then the digital age came and they got a website - yes PenisLand.com (my capitals) The shame....

    don't forget the Italian electricity company Gen Italia, their url was good, see also, ExpertsExchange.com and many others

    What worries me in that url are the number of people that don't get them. Do we still educate people in the colonies?

    I read that thread with dismay too, not one I post on, just found it thanks to google.
    "Impressive break"

    "Thanks...

    ...I can taste blood"
  • suzyb
    suzyb Posts: 3,449
    lol ExpertsExchange comes up on half the searches I do and I never noticed the URL until now
    Whippet
  • prawny
    prawny Posts: 5,440
    Dont for the american one for people in need of theraphy

    therapistfinder.com

    yeah I'll give em a try :?
    Saracen Tenet 3 - 2015 - Dead - Replaced with a Hack Frame
    Voodoo Bizango - 2014 - Dead - Hit by a car
    Vitus Sentier VRS - 2017
  • Wallace1492
    Wallace1492 Posts: 3,707
    -null- wrote:
    lol ExpertsExchange comes up on half the searches I do and I never noticed the URL until now

    What - you never realised it was a Technology Problem Solving site? :shock: :lol:

    When do we start calling you Mr -null-?
    "Encyclopaedia is a fetish for very small bicycles"
  • suzyb
    suzyb Posts: 3,449
    Wallace1492 wrote:
    -null- wrote:
    lol ExpertsExchange comes up on half the searches I do and I never noticed the URL until now

    What - you never realised it was a Technology Problem Solving site? :shock: :lol:

    When do we start calling you Mr -null-?
    I was going to respond to that then I realised what you meant. :oops:
    Whippet

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