Mundane Observations Thread

Aggieboy

Apples taste nicer eaten piece by piece, when sliced with a knife.

deptfordmarmoset

I only discovered gmaps pedometer today. It looks like it might be useful for some route planning.

Cheshley

I've resisted the terry's chocolate orange in the fridge so for but I wonder how long it will last once I 'tap and unwrap'.....

markwalker

Ramsbury Gold is very good and comes in a bottle

markwalker

I went to the doctors and had to come in a bottle but ramsbury gold is much more appealing

markwalker

There is more Ramsbury gold in a bottle than me.

passout

I had two meetings today neither of which were very productive - meetings are often like that, aren't they?

AndyD2574

I find eating carrots straight out of the fridge hurt my teeth

Anonymous

I always disagree with authority.

passout

I suspect that he means what he says too - I don't suffer from that.

-spider-

Murray won again.

Stewie Griffin

Im conducting an experiment today. How much good luck do you receive after being shat on by a bird.

-spider-

Stewie Griffin wrote:

Im conducting an experiment today. How much good luck do you receive after being shat on by a bird.

Stewie

There are a lot of variables to take into account here;

The amount of crap The height the crap fell from (accuracy of bird) The size of the bird The speed of the target The size of the target The amount of witnesses etc Please can you be more precise?

Stewie Griffin

-spider- wrote:

Stewie Griffin wrote:

Im conducting an experiment today. How much good luck do you receive after being shat on by a bird.

Stewie

There are a lot of variables to take into account here;

The amount of crap The height the crap fell from (accuracy of bird) The size of the bird The speed of the target The size of the target The amount of witnesses etc Please can you be more precise?

Easily 50p sized
The crap fell a minimum of 20feet from a bird in a tree
Average sized Male Blackbird
Target (me) stationary.
My right shoulder in a slightly padded jacket.
No human witnesses, perhaps a few of his mates.

I parked my car on the right hand side of the road and performed my usual exit procedure. While standing still next to the Drivers door I put my wallet, keys, work pass and papaya & pineapple Jordans frusli bar into various pockets and was about to proceed to fold in the passenger side mirror (I religiously fold in whichever mirror is "road side" if parked on a street), when I felt this "plop" on my right shoulder. I could just see it out of the corner of my eye and while taking my jacket off to properly confirm the event I managed to fold the collar of my jacket down into it which of course gave me two patches of a greeny/yellow excrement to remove.

Minimal effort for the bird, I parked under him and stood still giving him enough time to line me up. Does this reduce the amount of luck I entitled to?

passout

Stewie Griffin wrote:

-spider- wrote:

Stewie Griffin wrote:

Im conducting an experiment today. How much good luck do you receive after being shat on by a bird.

Stewie

There are a lot of variables to take into account here;

The amount of crap The height the crap fell from (accuracy of bird) The size of the bird The speed of the target The size of the target The amount of witnesses etc Please can you be more precise?

Easily 50p sized
The crap fell a minimum of 20feet from a bird in a tree
Average sized Male Blackbird
Target (me) stationary.
My right shoulder in a slightly padded jacket.
No human witnesses, perhaps a few of his mates.

I parked my car on the right hand side of the road and performed my usual exit procedure. While standing still next to the Drivers door I put my wallet, keys, work pass and papaya & pineapple Jordans frusli bar into various pockets and was about to proceed to fold in the passenger side mirror (I religiously fold in whichever mirror is "road side" if parked on a street), when I felt this "plop" on my right shoulder. I could just see it out of the corner of my eye and while taking my jacket off to properly confirm the event I managed to fold the collar of my jacket down into it which of course gave me two patches of a greeny/yellow excrement to remove.

Minimal effort for the bird, I parked under him and stood still giving him enough time to line me up. Does this reduce the amount of luck I entitled to?

Also the type of bird - an Eagle or a Flamingo must be better luck than a Pigeon for instance. Also there is the Magpie question - were you shat on by a mappie which was flying alone, with another mapgpie or in a group. One for sorrow, two for joy, three for girl ,four for boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for secret never to be told. Hope that helps.

Wooliferkins

-spider- wrote:

Murray won again.

Come on Tim!

Anonymous

Up the oiks.

Aggieboy

What does it say about us all that the last entry in the 'Profound Observations Thread' was Nov 16th?

(Should that post actually be in that thread? :? )

deptfordmarmoset

Aggieboy wrote:

What does it say about us all that the last entry in the 'Profound Observations Thread' was Nov 16th?

(Should that post actually be in that thread? :? )

I've been working on a profound observation, it's just that it's taken me a little longer than I expected....

Anyhow, if a bird shit is a 50p size, is a £1 size bird shit twice as big?

Edit: I didn't write bird shoot because I don't believe in them....what I wrote was....oh, that's not going to work is it?

-spider-

Stewie Griffin wrote:

-spider- wrote:

Stewie Griffin wrote:

Im conducting an experiment today. How much good luck do you receive after being shat on by a bird.

Stewie

There are a lot of variables to take into account here;

The amount of crap The height the crap fell from (accuracy of bird) The size of the bird The speed of the target The size of the target The amount of witnesses etc Please can you be more precise?

Easily 50p sized
The crap fell a minimum of 20feet from a bird in a tree
Average sized Male Blackbird
Target (me) stationary.
My right shoulder in a slightly padded jacket.
No human witnesses, perhaps a few of his mates.

I parked my car on the right hand side of the road and performed my usual exit procedure. While standing still next to the Drivers door I put my wallet, keys, work pass and papaya & pineapple Jordans frusli bar into various pockets and was about to proceed to fold in the passenger side mirror (I religiously fold in whichever mirror is "road side" if parked on a street), when I felt this "plop" on my right shoulder. I could just see it out of the corner of my eye and while taking my jacket off to properly confirm the event I managed to fold the collar of my jacket down into it which of course gave me two patches of a greeny/yellow excrement to remove.

Minimal effort for the bird, I parked under him and stood still giving him enough time to line me up. Does this reduce the amount of luck I entitled to?

That must be worth at least 7.5g of luck. Had you or the sh!tter been moving this luck would have been increased by 10x. If both were moving (at average speed) this can be multiplied by 100x.

Why were you standing under the sh!tter anyway - providing target practice for an aged (or juvenile) bird. Both of these could, of course, reuce the amount of luck due.

Stewie Griffin

Spider, now I think about it, I was moving. I had probably only taken 2 or 3 steps on a grass verge toward the front of my car so I wasnt up to full speed at that point but I was on the move. Sorry for asking you to calculate it all again. I would ask for the formula but it happens so rarely and its probably well beyond me anyway :oops:

-spider-

Sorry Stewie, but moving into the drop zone of a sitting sh!tter lessens the luck by 95%. However, as you were not quite at full speed the sh!tting committe may accept an appeal.

Stewie Griffin

-spider- wrote:

Sorry Stewie, but moving into the drop zone of a sitting sh!tter lessens the luck by 95%. However, as you were not quite at full speed the sh!tting committe may accept an appeal.

Oh bollocks . Well I guess I deserved it, I wont appeal, I wont be parking there again either

nolf

I got a haircut today.
My hair is now shorter and more vibrant (apparently).

Anonymous

Ive just posted in the third world thread, I hope I made a good point, I wil be dissapointed if it is dissed, ragga-stylee.

Tempestas

One coat paint always looks better after two coats....

-spider-

Tempestas wrote:

One coat paint always looks better after two coats....

What if you miss out the first coat and go straight to the second?

markwalker

i oiled my chain this morning

Stewie Griffin

I stalled my car in traffic on the way to work this morning :oops:

-spider-

Got the Moontie serviced today