The Chuck Norris Thread

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  • IcarusGreen
    IcarusGreen Posts: 1,486
    Chuck Norris can make the Afghan air bridge run on time. (one for the squaddies)
    + 1001 posts reset by the cruel cruel moderators!

    Giant Trance X4 (2010)
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  • IcarusGreen
    IcarusGreen Posts: 1,486
    Chuck Norris doesn't need a gun,the force of him spitting is harder than a 50cal.
    + 1001 posts reset by the cruel cruel moderators!

    Giant Trance X4 (2010)
    Giant SCR 02 (2006)
  • Mr Wu
    Mr Wu Posts: 1,238
    Chuck Norris is so horny even the crack of dawn gives him a semi
    My Girlfriend...

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  • Mr Wu
    Mr Wu Posts: 1,238
    edited June 2009
    Infact Chuck Norris is so hard.... He's hid that airplane... Just cause he can
    My Girlfriend...

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  • IcarusGreen
    IcarusGreen Posts: 1,486
    Chuck Norris can ride harder and faster downhill than Pete
    + 1001 posts reset by the cruel cruel moderators!

    Giant Trance X4 (2010)
    Giant SCR 02 (2006)
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,665
    IcarusGreen wrote:
    Chuck Norris can ride harder and faster downhill than Pete


    I don't care how hard he is. This is simply not true.
  • Richie63
    Richie63 Posts: 2,132
    Truth hurts........but not as much as Chuck Norris
    I'm going to blow the bank on a new build ( within reason ) NOW DONE!!
    http://i570.photobucket.com/albums/ss14 ... 010362.jpg
  • fred1star
    fred1star Posts: 428
    edited June 2009
    Chuck Norris does in 24 seconds what Jack Bauer does in 24 hrs

    By the way does Jack ever have a pooh in 24hrs :?:
    09 - Santa Cruz Heckler
    03 - Trek 8500
    95 - P7 (Dead, but I loved it)
    Year dot - Alpine Stars CR300 - Still going strong...
  • Reeco
    Reeco Posts: 86
    chuck norris can slam a revolving door.
    It takes 7 puppeteers to make chuck norris laugh.. it takes only two to make him destroy an orphanage.
    "Old Enough To Know Better, Young Enough Not To Care"

    Specialized Hardrock 09
    wethepeople Reason 08
  • MissBint37
    MissBint37 Posts: 1,503
    Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest
    Ride it like you stole it!
  • adb1006
    adb1006 Posts: 938
    If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
    Rock Lobster Team Tig SL Custom
  • MissBint37
    MissBint37 Posts: 1,503
    P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.
    Ride it like you stole it!
  • adb1006
    adb1006 Posts: 938
    Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
    Rock Lobster Team Tig SL Custom
  • AidanR
    AidanR Posts: 1,142
    Jesus walked on water, but Chuck Norris swum through land.
    Bike lover and part-time cyclist.
  • big-hitter
    big-hitter Posts: 254
    Chuck norris once had a paper round when he was 8. there were no suriviours.

    Cars where invented to get away from chuck norris. not to be outdone, chuck invented the car crash.
    Tree's are not soft. FACT
  • randomage
    randomage Posts: 100
    When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
    "The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. That way, you always have a couple of days in hand." - Bill Bailey
  • Richie63
    Richie63 Posts: 2,132
    Chuck Norris has issues with people who go to Jeremy Kyle book signings
    I'm going to blow the bank on a new build ( within reason ) NOW DONE!!
    http://i570.photobucket.com/albums/ss14 ... 010362.jpg
  • LoUiS1985
    LoUiS1985 Posts: 841
    With a single click on his super-tough finger, Chuck Norris could put an end to infinity
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/42322058@N03/
  • randomage
    randomage Posts: 100
    Chuck norris can count to infinity. Twice.
    "The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. That way, you always have a couple of days in hand." - Bill Bailey
  • fred1star
    fred1star Posts: 428
    God made the world in 6 days (apparently)... Chuck Norris made God.
    09 - Santa Cruz Heckler
    03 - Trek 8500
    95 - P7 (Dead, but I loved it)
    Year dot - Alpine Stars CR300 - Still going strong...
  • Th3 Firestarter
    Th3 Firestarter Posts: 395
    Jesus H fecking christ. I thought it was just the yanks that idolised chuck norris. obviously not. Chuck Norris is a complete mug and couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag. Also, chuck norris has swine flu and votes BNP.
    Th3+Firestarter.png
    My bike
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,665
    ^^ :lol::lol::lol:


    at last a sane voice



    chuck couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding!!!






    a very funny thread though :wink:
  • Richie63
    Richie63 Posts: 2,132
    Oh yes he could
    I'm going to blow the bank on a new build ( within reason ) NOW DONE!!
    http://i570.photobucket.com/albums/ss14 ... 010362.jpg
  • big-hitter
    big-hitter Posts: 254
    dont anger the norris.

    Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
    Tree's are not soft. FACT
  • Daz555
    Daz555 Posts: 3,976
    Chuck Norris can "take or leave" Marmite.
    You only need two tools: WD40 and Duck Tape.
    If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40.
    If it shouldn't move and does, use the tape.
  • big-hitter
    big-hitter Posts: 254
    The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
    Tree's are not soft. FACT
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,665
    chuck norris touches little boys :shock:
  • fred1star
    fred1star Posts: 428
    Chuck Norris can suck a golf ball through a hose. :o
    09 - Santa Cruz Heckler
    03 - Trek 8500
    95 - P7 (Dead, but I loved it)
    Year dot - Alpine Stars CR300 - Still going strong...
  • Mr Wu
    Mr Wu Posts: 1,238
    Chuck Norris touched th3 Firestarter on his naughty bits and thats why he's a little angry
    My Girlfriend...

    weight.png
  • fred1star
    fred1star Posts: 428
    Chuck Norris can put a man on the moon single handed.. :x
    09 - Santa Cruz Heckler
    03 - Trek 8500
    95 - P7 (Dead, but I loved it)
    Year dot - Alpine Stars CR300 - Still going strong...

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