Silly commuting racing

jedster

Whoa there!

A perfectly normal thread about grown men playing stupid games on push bikes degenerates into a tech fest.

Damn you got me bang to rights. Guilty as charged, your honour. In mitigation I'd like to say

a) It was not I that first mentioned white rims and hubs
b) nor I who told tales of expectantly waiting for new chainrings to arrive in the post

However, I recognise that is no excuse. There are a million threads on this and other boards where we can reveal that cycling is just another excuse for men who are old enough to know better to get all geeky over bits of kit. The reason that this thread is so popular is because it provides opportunities for an entirely different form of adolescent silliness. We must not soil that with anymore gear talk (beyond the obviously the necessary focus on what gear says about the riders pretensions and therefore FCN vulnerability).

So no more chain ring pics. Promise

J

Bassjunkieuk

Dunston_checks_in wrote:

@Bassjunkie:

A SS conversion shouldn't be all that expensive. All you need is a conversion kit (for around £15) and a chain tensioner if you have vertical dropouts (get a Surly Singulator if you can - it can take a fat chain and is properly sprung unlike some others). You can get other bits and bobs either very cheaply or cannibalise off old bikes you may have hanging around.

In fact, when I did mine, I reckon my main expense was on tools to do the job (crank pullers and the like) rather than the cost of the conversion itself...

Fixed is trickier because of the need for a new hub/wheel, and so probably not worth doing unless you already have horizontal dropouts on your frame.

Well I'm slowly building up my collection of tools, and purchased a crank puller and BB tool the other week as my current bike was making a god awful noise under load when pedalling! LBS didn't have a space in workshop for 3 weeks and wanted to charge £15 to look at it, the same price as the tools! Being a brave one I just got the tools and gave it ago myself :-) Managed to sort out the noise now and have bits incase it happens again!
Thanks for the advice tho, I might look into it at some point but it's also finding time to spend tinkering and I think I'll go SS before fixed, although I'd love to give it a go proper!

Greg T

jedster wrote:

We must not soil that with anymore gear talk (beyond the obviously the necessary focus on what gear says about the riders pretensions and therefore FCN vulnerability).

So no more chain ring pics. Promise

J

Let's not throw the baby out with the bath water, componentry porn is allowable - ring shots are beyond the pale.



TAXI!

snooks

biondino wrote:

Guys, all this talk of single speeds is like finding myself sharing a broken down lift with a group of enthusiastic furries - I'm delighted it does it for you but let's be honest, it's a bit of a weird fetish and it makes me feel slightly queasy and if you could take it to some private place where such perversions are considered normal, that'd be great, thanks.

With you on this one.....

BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEP!

That would be the OFF TOPIC Alert!

While you might enjoy comparing ring sizes, and overtly techie obsessive SS talk, this has slightly gone off topic, in the same way the captain of the titanic got a tinsy bit damp while taking her to America for the first time....

Please control yourselves, you're endangering the beautiful game here, anyone clicking on this thread might see you as a bunch of SS ring comparing freaks...not true I know...erm :?

We managed 68 pages, and Greg T gets a SHSS and suddenly it brings out the single speed streak and the thread goes to ratshot

Guys, calm down, for the sake of the game....or start a new thread to compare the size of your rings and thighs

Just a suggestion of course

il_principe

snooks wrote:

biondino wrote:

Guys, all this talk of single speeds is like finding myself sharing a broken down lift with a group of enthusiastic furries - I'm delighted it does it for you but let's be honest, it's a bit of a weird fetish and it makes me feel slightly queasy and if you could take it to some private place where such perversions are considered normal, that'd be great, thanks.

With you on this one.....

BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEP!

That would be the OFF TOPIC Alert!

While you might enjoy comparing ring sizes, and overtly techie obsessive SS talk, this has slightly gone off topic, in the same way the captain of the titanic got a tinsy bit damp while taking her to America for the first time....

Please control yourselves, you're endangering the beautiful game here, anyone clicking on this thread might see you as a bunch of SS ring comparing freaks...not true I know...erm :?

We managed 68 pages, and Greg T gets a SHSS and suddenly it brings out the single speed streak and the thread goes to ratshot

Guys, calm down, for the sake of the game....or start a new thread to compare the size of your rings and thighs

Just a suggestion of course

Jealous

snooks

jashburnham wrote:

Jealous

Not as bad as you'll be when I tell you I'm in work drinking beer at my desk :P

Teee heee..I kid you not

Dunston_checks_in

Sneaky sips from the can of special brew you keep hidden in your camera bag? Or a nice healthy celebration where the boss turns up in his 'casual' C&A jeans?

Back on this topic, what will this mean for your performance in the game tonight?

il_principe

Oooh you sod. Still I'm off to see the Dark Knight at the IMAX tonight - looking forward to that.

On a Game related note, I'm peversely looking forward to winter, once the fair weather cyclists are off the road things should get more interesting...

wildmoustache

Back OT ... I am a bit of a pussy as I rarely race ... believing it to be dangerous

I have a bike with shamal ultra gold wheels which seem to really inflame the courier single speed posse.

very occaisionally if there is a long hill and light traffic ... hill up to the Green Man in Putney is a favourite ... I will absolutely let the dogs out and blow rivals to bits.

snooks

Dunston_checks_in wrote:

Sneaky sips from the can of special brew you keep hidden in your camera bag? Or a nice healthy celebration where the boss turns up in his 'casual' C&A jeans?

Back on this topic, what will this mean for your performance in the game tonight?

Thanks to our new (last year) office I no longer have to wear shorts and T-Shirt in the summer...jeans on this magazine all year round, and a big smile when I hear about peeps having a "casual" Friday...Whoa, take it easy!!

No bike today, had to bring my (big heavy) cameras in to photograph sailing knives, at the mo we're testing the bottle openers on them ...Half way through a bottle of wine as well (corkscrew test) though I'm going to give the cold baked beans (can opener) a miss!

victor ludorum

Dunston_checks_in wrote:

I have been giving this matter some thought of late.

My heart tells me that THE GAME demands an Eddie Merckx-style 'hard man' approach. A flat out, mano-a-mano test of strength at every encounter. No mercy, no slacking off, no sneaky tricks. Head down on the 52 chainring and last one up the Galibier's a girl.

Hoo yah! Damn right!

victor ludorum

wildmoustache wrote:

Back OT ... I am a bit of a pussy as I rarely race ... believing it to be dangerous

I have a bike with shamal ultra gold wheels which seem to really inflame the courier single speed posse.

very occaisionally if there is a long hill and light traffic ... hill up to the Green Man in Putney is a favourite ... I will absolutely let the dogs out and blow rivals to bits.

Kee-rist! Shamal Ultras in gold. Jashburnham, doesn't even come close. I didn't even know they made them in gold. Never mind the courier single-speeders, I bet you have crowds of children running down the street after you.

Ladies, Gentlemen, we are in the presence of a true master of bicycular meretriciousness, something we at Game Labs HQ have theorized upon but never actually seen before.

We are in the presence of the Uber-Tart!

Littigator

Hear hear to all the nay-sayers of ss/fixie geekiness

This thread was made for racing talk not for pocket fumbling over chains, cranks or sprockets surely.

Saying that I am a bit jealous over the ss talk having been recently denied one because APPARENTLY a small two bed flat in Battersea isn't big enough for 4 bikes! I mean, I ask you!!!

Bloody women, what do they know

ride_whenever

clearly nothing, I have 4 and a frame and forks in my tiny 3bed flat

Littigator

ride_whenever wrote:

clearly nothing, I have 4 and a frame and forks in my tiny 3bed flat

Ahhh yes but do you also have the aforementioned lady in the house aswell...that being the nub, the very crux of the matter

In short, is it fair to swap my wife for a fixie? Tarty or not?

cjcp

Back on topic, and away from this fixie fixation : to their knowledge, have any posters on this thread engaged one another in combat along Embankment or elsewhere on the commute? :twisted:

Bassjunkieuk

Littigator wrote:

In short, is it fair to swap my wife for a fixie? Tarty or not?

Does your wife know you talk about her like that

FWIW, I'd say yes.......

oarsman

To hopefully bring this fixed fixation to a close (remember back in the dim and distant past, when GregT had and used gears and this thread was about Silly Commuting Racing?), a report from the A3/A24 peloton for this evening.

Having climbed the Col du London Bridge, always easier going South, I came upon a sight for sore eyes, a fully blinged and fixed London Langster ridden by someone in a Gerolsteiner jersey. As the lights turned green and the cavalry charge down Borough High Street started we scythed through the massed ranks of Bromptons (ptah), hybrids and assorted numpties. I waited until we hit the point where he began to spin out and made my move, silently gliding by. I waited for the almost inevitable riposte. Nada, no response at all. Was he a Jedi master biding his time? Was I about to be scalped in the most horrendous repassing move? No, by the time we reached Elephant and Castle he was dust.

Moving on to Kennington Road, a favourite hunting ground, there were a brace of hairy roadies. We three duelled back and forth, eventually having to call it quits at Clapham North where they turned off, thus missing the awesome Col du Clapham Common where an old school Pearson fixed tried to take me. A little traffic work later we both arrived at the summit together where I had to admit that perhaps he had got me. However descending Balham Hill my gears came into play and I had him good and proper and left him for dead, scalp ripped off, as I turned off (and could gulp huge lungfuls of air!).

If only every evening was this good.

My trusty steed (and its unfit rider) ranks a lowly FCN. Trek 7100 comfort hybrid (front suspension, suspension seatpost, mudguards, rack and pannier and baggies gives me a FCN of 12 I think.

I throw myself on the Jury's mercy and ask "What do I score for this evening's joust?"

el_presidente

ride_whenever wrote:

clearly nothing, I have 4 and a frame and forks in my tiny 3bed flat

I'll see you & raise you 5 full bikes and a girlfiend in a 2-bed flat

attica

Please don't berate me for this post - I'm going to use the words "singlie" and "fixed" a few times.

Firstly thankyou all, it's been a hairy few days at work and I've not read this thread for a day or two, pages 64 onwards just digested. GregT you made me laugh out loud twice and your tactical guide is brilliant, and now we have a new term too SOD, fantastic.

Anyway an eventful ride home last night saw me get 3 scalps and a near miss (traffic intervention) to add to my measley total of 1 so far (nobody rides my way).
Coming through central Bristle I spot a reet tart pull onto the road a couple of hundred yards ahead, Rapha top, messenger bag and an ickle cappy wappy. I give chase and as I get closer I notice - joy of joys - the complete lack of a deraileur.
At last an opponent on near equal machinery
I crank up my very own "Tractor" in singlie mode and start to close him down.
The nearer I get the more disappointed I get this fixie being caught fast - too fast.
The fixie shows more detail as I approach:- chrome, lot's of chrome. Traditional leather cycling shoes in toe clips and all of it gleamingly clean. This is no longer a scalp, this is a matter of honour, I must pass him or fall on my trackpump in hari kiri. Frankly I bet this tart regularly gets passed by shopper basket combos.

I draw level, relaxed and spinning my singlie at speed, yet not even having to try to hide any exertion at all. Fixie/fakennger/tart looks across at me as I wish him a cheery "good evening" and his jaw drops - it's then that I realise he is playing the game, just not very well at all.

I sail on, then as we approach some lights I notice that he'd jumped on my back wheel, he was planning on coming back at me. I freewheeled to completely disgust him, he's obviously a fixie purist (I ride singlie to aid my training and because I'm a masochist not because "they're really really good looking" or owt like that).

I draw up at the lights and the little preening coward only goes and jumps them, pah!
It might not have been a scalp, but I have the moral high ground.

Less than half a mile later I properly scalp a roadie who promptly RLJs, I scalp him again, then taking a long route through the Cumberland basin area I come out the other side and see him about 4 or 500 metres in front of me, yet again I scalp him, now I truly understand the righteous ecstacy of the RLJers repeated scalp.

cjcp

Right, I'm claiming this as a win, if only by default.

Overtaken by a shaved roadie in full pro team kit by Parsons Green as I slow down to a stop for a zebra crossing. I re-pass him on the New King's Road and stay ahead, conscious that he is right behind me. I'm not however going anywhere near full bore and neither is he; he's just drafting and looks as if he has plenty in the tank. This remains the case all the way to Lambeth Bridge roundabout. I'm lower down the food chain, have already passed him, so my view is that the onus is on him to attack, whereas he's just drafting someone lower down the FC. Could have been a good ding dong if he'd try to re-pass.

Soooooo, I think this is a victory by default.

What do the learned players think?

Greg T

Bretheren I throw myself on the mercy of the order, I ask forgiveness

Bourbon "Let life be short; else shame will be too long."

Henry V.

This morning is relatively uneventful, had a chat with a beardy roadie about my bike - he's considering "dabbling". Collected a couple more roadies.....

Then


Hang on I need to take a moment







At the last lights before Tower Hill I ease by a shaven headed guy on a hybrid and build up some crank speed.

Hubris is a muddy funster.

I discount the hybrid as I'm going to cane the hill, down on the drops, stood up and leveraging hard.

I think you know where I'm going here

The mistake I make is not really getting my crank spinning before I hit the hill so as a consequence I'm out of my top notes band and whilst I wouldn't say I'm struggling I've gone up there faster. I'm working a biggish gear hard however - no - excuses.

So did the Hybrid.

Who did me, sat down - just as I crested the hill and took the immediate left into the bus lane and was gone.

So who was it?

Biodino's a baldy was it you?

cjcp

Greg T wrote:

Bretheren I throw myself on the mercy of the order, I ask forgiveness

Bourbon "Let life be short; else shame will be too long."

Henry V.

This morning is relatively uneventful, had a chat with a beardy roadie about my bike - he's considering "dabbling". Collected a couple more roadies.....

Then


Hang on I need to take a moment







At the last lights before Tower Hill I ease by a shaven headed guy on a hybrid and build up some crank speed.

Hubris is a muddy funster.

I discount the hybrid as I'm going to cane the hill, down on the drops, stood up and leveraging hard.

I think you know where I'm going here

The mistake I make is not really getting my crank spinning before I hit the hill so as a consequence I'm out of my top notes band and whilst I wouldn't say I'm struggling I've gone up there faster. I'm working a biggish gear hard however - no - excuses.

So did the Hybrid.

Who did me, sat down - just as I crested the hill and took the immediate left into the bus lane and was gone.

So who was it?

Biodino's a baldy was it you?

In your heart of hearts, you know this wouldn't have happened if you'd been on a proper road bike.

Greg T

cjcp wrote:

In your heart of hearts, you know this wouldn't have happened if you'd been on a proper road bike.

Whislt I know this to be true I've developed a piece of cognitive dissonance to help me through the pain

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

On the road bike I would not have been done.

However - in sailing closer to the wind I have a more involved gaming experience and the price I pay for this is getting done occasionaly.

In fairness, as he went by me, sat down, bolt upright I had to say I acknowledged that he'd done me proper. No doubt about it on all gaming levels he'd done me.....

Of course taking the immediate turn off and not hanging around to mix it on the flat was cheap but winners are grinners.....

snooks

cjcp wrote:

Back on topic, and away from this fixie fixation : to their knowledge, have any posters on this thread engaged one another in combat along Embankment or elsewhere on the commute? :twisted:

Dunno, but we're out there somewhere!...maybe we should have a bit a bit of coloured tape on our seat post. Just so we can say "hi!" to each other...or "Fancy a pint?"

Anyway all quiet this morning

After a dead Monday, which resulted in my Milkfloat scalp, I thought I'd try coming in early this morning, (well early for me anyway) 8:30-9:20 Just +2 up to the embankment...it was so dead I started counting any cyclist I saw (5 from Twickenham to Putney!).

So WhereTF was everyone???

Another cyclist in the lift this morning said it was quiet for her as well

el_presidente

Everyone's on holiday

attica

Greg, you've just discovered the downside of having your ring expanded!

What you make up on the flat has to come back and bite you - it did on that hill.
Give it a few weeks though and you'll be stronger up that hill, faster on the flat and unbeatable anywhere.

You must take solace in the fact that you're in a transitional stage. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Go into the desert, reflect and meditate, return and kick botty.

Clever Pun

I notched a couple of roadies with no bother this morning, but later as I'm heading along the A21 bus lanes a great place for speed and scalps I see a roadie ahead but on flats??? as I get closer I see he's got very impressive calves... hmm this looks like a conundrum...

I decide to go past him at the current speed 21 and think once past drop a cog and him... destroy his soul with the huge fast gulf appearing between us... so 'm past him and I raise the bar to 25 and I'm like this for a while when I hear a creak behind me... SH!T he's on me, SH!T he's on flats this is not good, I push it on to 27 and the fecker just wont drop... We get to traffic lights and he sets off from the first after pushing through the 'queue' a little I'm up on him like a flash, biding my time for the nice little dual carriage way bit just before the lombard roundabout.... We're past the corners and traffic lights, it's just leg power into the wind now he knows I'm behind him I can see the furtive glanes but he's going going fast? I drop him soundly again and he's on my six in a flash...Ah I see his game a fricking leech... he turns off at the roundabout my clean sheet intact.

He reminds me of the white Bianchi rider I've encountered numerous times on that stretch... he's fast but I know I can do him. He's sat on my wheel for the whole stretch before without so much as a nod let alone 'morning'. yes when I've chased him down he hates being drafted... really hates it he'll try and drop me every time(his speed goes up considerably once he knows I'm there which is fair enough) I'll make the effort and do him before he turns off. Also I've drafted him before the game started in the p1ssing wind and rain and the fecker was using the side motion of the bike to flick water at me... so, in summary he's a tool, but I'll call him nappyface due to his blotchy rosy cheeks, that's a good enemy name right?

2wheelzgood

Yep Attica is right. At the moment I'm feeling very vulnerable to scalps even in my lonely neck of the woods "commuting" the wrong way out of town on the odd day.
The big ring only gives me a better average speed one way which is downhill 80% and I find mind asking if I'm man enough to ride it up hill home again as I end up sweating buckets and needing another shower even though I'm going back home and working at my own desk!

Re meeting other Players- spoke cards anyone? I bet the singlies and fixed have some already.. what about that cool sketch that is on the facebook group?
I need to get hold of a lamnator from someone

CJCP, defo a moral and points victory for you. What FCN are you? Surely even "non players" (we all know the game plays you so everyone is playing- they just aren#t conscious of it..yet! :twisted: ) know if they are using you to make their ride (life) easier and I'm sure feel shame that they didn't dig deep and man up to the bike (ego) they are showing the world.
Next time you use the velodrome individual sprint tactical where you slow down to a trackstand and see if they come past, then put the hammer down.
This way not only do you expose their laziness and blatant thievery of energy (remember the positive accumulation thereof when gaining on an "adversaryt"?) but are able to display your masterclass in a way that rudely awakens them to The Game!
:twisted:

Lat night I rode out to watch fixed riders ride backwards circle.. and skid lots. I didn't I fell over clipped in on my singlie last time I tried backwards cycling!

I did try out my modified shoulder bag. It was a regular single strap cool design normal bag but I have sewn an extra strap & buckle onto it so it doesn't slide round. No it's not a Bagaboo or other messenger bag and I'm not a fakenger. It's simply utilitarian. And stylish!
I'm going to clean my ring now after that comment hurt my price yesterday! I was only sharing! :oops:

Greg T

2wheelzgood wrote:

Re meeting other Players- spoke cards anyone?

No

I'm a grown up.

Jaysus.