Silly commuting racing

spursn17

victor ludorum wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Why oh why do they do it? And does anyone else ever buy the polka dot jersey?

Here I must (slightly shamefacedly :oops: ) admit to owning a KOM jersey.

When I wear it is purely for the opportunity to to say 'Hardly surprising, with this cloak of invisibility on?' to SMIDSYing* drivers and because during the TdF it amuses me to ride up the one slight incline on my commute (Holland Park Avenue) scalping all the people in a maillot jeune.

(*Sorry Mate, I Didn't See You)

I saw someone on the 1st train into Fenchurch St yesterday morning with an aero helmet on (just happened to be the day of the TDF time trial).

He wears a normal helmet every other day.

snooks

fury21 wrote:

just because I'm enjoying this thread so much...

Food Chain Number Calculator (based on the facebook group rules - none of the newer stuff yet).

Absolute class!!!...Here is the latest version of The Rules, that"ve kept tabs with:

The Game:
Dropping / Pulling anyone higher in the Food Chain Number makes you stronger and more attractive to burds*. Getting dropped / trying to keep up with anyone lower means your soul hires a kudos remover to lower your self worth. If you scalp someone you have to maintain or extend your lead for such a time as to have the dude you passed admit to themself "I was done". Nipping by, then running into a side road / hiding in traffic won't wash, Be honest with yourself. *Not strictly true

Rules:
1/ No Dangerous Manoeuvres (Don’t be a danger to any other road users or yourself) Falling off causes pain to you and others around you, don’t do it! (oh and you loose yer points)
2/ Don’t ride like a cock, we’re all just trying to get somewhere!
3/ No passing at Lights/Junction/Crossings, if you do, it doesn’t count
4/ All passing on open road ONLY. Filtering in traffic is null and void (you know whether you’ve dropped someone fairly, and haven’t turned off straight afterwards)
5/ Pavement passes, either you or the target is void
6/ Show no pain, unless, like me your face is just like that

FOOD CHAIN NUMBERS:
1. Scooters
2. Roadies with shaved legs - like girls *
3. Single speed fixed hub *
4. Single Speed *
5. Roadies with hairy legs - like men *
6. Touring Bikes (Mud Guards) *
7. "Fast Hybrids" *
8. MTBs on Skinnies *
9. MTBs on Nobbies
10. Bromptons / collapsing bikes
11. MTB full sus on Nobbies
12. Shoppers
13. Shoppers wicker baskets
14. Electric bikes
* Pedal Adjustment +1
• ONLY FCN 2-4 gain points for overtaking the same FCN and Higher Chainers
• Recumbents, Tandems and Segways are worth +2 points as a rare bonus
• Sinclair C5 +20 points as a hens teeth bonus

FCN Adjusters:

CLOTHING:
None:+3
Non-Cycling: +2
Baggies: +1
Lycra: 0
Team Kit: -1
TDF Jersey: -2

BAGGAGE:
Panniers: +1
Back Pack/Courier: 0
Nothing: -1

HEAD GEAR:
Face Mask: +1
Helmets/Nothing/Sunglasses: 0
Bike Caps / Wrap arounds: -1

ACCESSORIES:
Herman's Safety Wing" (orange plastic lolly-pop): +2
Beard: +1
Power meter: -1
Aerobars: -1
Coloured tyres -1
Child seat (each): +1
Trailer:+2

PEDALS (If you can identify) FCN2-8 see note above:
Flats: +1
Toe Clips: 0
Evidently Clipless/spds (cycling shoes): -1

Sounds complex, but it really isn't...If you get confused, think of it this way if you drop anyone who looks faster that you +1. If you get dropped by anyone that looks slower than you -1..Couldn't be simpler! You'll also get to work, or get home faster...Or your subscription money back...Ps it's free to join and take part, but negative totals should make cheques on your soul out to: Greg T c/o Bike Radar

Enjoy

Clever Pun

I tested out a single speed gear ratio of 70 on the way home as research for my project... I took a roadie(5) down and then she... yes she nipped past me in traffic but as luck would have it she turned up the hill the main where the point of my test was, I wanted to see if all this talk from the fixie crowd about bombing up hills was right

Fawking hell they are! I absolutely whizzed past her and flew up the hill without getting off the seat... nice

2wheelzgood

seen the light thn?
probs arise when a ladyshaver who fancies himself on a skinny road bike slips past you and you're spinning fast (not hard).. however I heard the click click of changing at least 3 cogs on the rear.. wuss! too bad I had to turn off and wasn't able to see who was stronger AFTER the busy junction and up the mile long hill. He cut up cars and my girl's FCN 9 too. I hope he feels like a big man! (his legs and 20 size tyres suggest otherwise)

UnworthyPapaLazaru

Nice calculator. My beard haken me to a 12.

Greg T

fury21 wrote:

just because I'm enjoying this thread so much...

Food Chain Number Calculator (based on the facebook group rules - none of the newer stuff yet).

This is genius.

Fury you are a good man or girl or potentially a committed roadie who is kinda both.

victor ludorum

Greg T wrote:

Fury you are a good man or girl or potentially a committed roadie who is kinda both.

lolololololololol

hucking_fell

I commute on a downhill bike as it's the only bike I own. I'm passed more often than I pass others. Where do I fit in the food chain? If it helps, I wear baggy cargo trousers, xc helmet, skate shoes (flat pedals), T-shirt, small trail pack, race number plate on the bike (most weeks) and have my mp3 player on speaker (clipped to the strap of my trail pack) so I can hear the traffic. I never look like I'm trying 'cos I'm not. I do sometimes push up the steep hill half way to work. Does getting passed here, while pushing, count? :?

I read pages 1 to 8 then skipped to 31 so may have missed any similar questions about downhill bikes but didn't see them on snooks' list posted earlier today.

I'm looking at getting a "sport hybrid" and not pushing on the uphill. I'll still be dressed the same though. Once I've got a starting point I'll be able to adjust my FCN as my appearance becomes less downhill on the new bike but don't think I could ever bring myself to wear lycra. My mates might drive past and see me.

Greg T

Hucking Fell wrote:

I I wear baggy cargo trousers, xc helmet, skate shoes (flat pedals), T-shirt, small trail pack, race number plate on the bike (most weeks) and have my mp3 player on speaker (clipped to the strap of my trail pack) so I can hear the traffic. I never look like I'm trying 'cos I'm not. I do sometimes push up the steep hill half way to work. Does getting passed here, while pushing, count? :?
:

I think we may need to invent some adjusters just for you.

Using Fury's ace FCN generator for your basic kit you come out at a 13....

I'll take a gamble and suggest that:

xc helmet should be a +1 (discuss)

and your

mp3 player on speaker - is at least a +1 and really funny.

You are in all respects circa 15......

Good luck with making it up to the top of the hill.

Also

I never look like I'm trying 'cos I'm not

may be an obstacle to gaining your first scalp.....[/quote]

fury21

snooks wrote:

Absolute class!!!...Here is the latest version of The Rules, that"ve kept tabs with:

Added masks, trailers and child seats to the calculator

Greg T wrote:

Fury you are a good man or girl or potentially a committed roadie who is kinda both.

its the first and I've not much else to do whilst I wait for delivery of my new bike at the end of the month.

Clever Pun

Hucking Fell wrote:

I commute on a downhill bike as it's the only bike I own. I'm passed more often than I pass others. Where do I fit in the food chain? If it helps, I wear baggy cargo trousers, xc helmet, skate shoes (flat pedals), T-shirt, small trail pack, race number plate on the bike (most weeks) and have my mp3 player on speaker (clipped to the strap of my trail pack) so I can hear the traffic. I never look like I'm trying 'cos I'm not. I do sometimes push up the steep hill half way to work. Does getting passed here, while pushing, count? :?

I read pages 1 to 8 then skipped to 31 so may have missed any similar questions about downhill bikes but didn't see them on snooks' list posted earlier today.

I'm looking at getting a "sport hybrid" and not pushing on the uphill. I'll still be dressed the same though. Once I've got a starting point I'll be able to adjust my FCN as my appearance becomes less downhill on the new bike but don't think I could ever bring myself to wear lycra. My mates might drive past and see me.

here you go Food Chain Number Calculator

I used a single one of my gears this morning as well I could get it to 23 or so and then my legs just wouldn't really go much faster. had to spin my way out of trouble a few times

PhilSm

Pheeeweeee - I've been catching up on this thread since Tuesday and I have to say, I'm fair knacked...

This is "threading" (if one can coin such a term?) at it's very best, Olympic Level, no less - Gentlemen I salute you all !

Greg T where were you 5 years ago when I to, played the game without name...?

Sadly, the combination of passing years and unreasonable commute preclude my participation, but to all who continue to play The Game, feel me with you (in a manner of speaking), as you rack up those scalps....

Phil
...an FCN 8 of olde

secretsam

That calculator is absolute class

Gold medals all round

(bronze to me for suggesting face mask adjustment )

No biking today am stranded at home, but means I can take photos of my steeds to post on the sticky of sexy-mobiles

Greg T

PhilSm wrote:

Sadly, the combination of passing years and unreasonable commute preclude my participation, but to all who continue to play The Game, feel me with you (in a manner of speaking), as you rack up those scalps....

Phil
...an FCN 8 of olde

You are in denial Phil - and that's not a river in Egypt.

Everyone particiaptes in the game if they know it or not - if they ride a bikeor not.

This is how I see it..

I pull up to a dude at the lights, he's fit, nice bike, small pack. A hush descends in the ASL. Peripheral vision at max, maybe a quick check of the componentry to suss out the "subtle indicator" space. The tension grows. In the bus behind us the driver leans forward in his seat and his eyes grow wider, he grips his steering wheel more tightly and breathes out slowly

They are going to mix it

He thinks - he's one of many spectators to the match.

In the outside lane the woman can't halp but trace the taut lines of (my) their sculpted calves as the lights change..

It starts slow. The old bar room brawler lets the younger eager man away, tucks in waits for the cranks to wind up. The bus Driver appreciates the move but wonders if the fiery young man has the beans to drop the old man even though he's being drafted. 20 miles an hour and climbing. The Woman wonders if the young man has a girlfriend, the older man a wife.

The road straightens, the gears stiffen and as the two draw level time seems to stop...

Participant or Gladiator you are playing the game

PhilSm

Photos - my man, I think you are on to something there:

What we need are small stickers to represent each FCN, each with a typical picture of said level, crossed through in red.

Then, each time a higher FCN scalp is taken, the victor adourns his steed / backpack or whatever with the relevant scalping-sticker... Subtle, indicates a player of the game, and allows for further strutting and posturing at the TL rest stop...

A winner ? Over to the committee....

Phil.

robmanic1

Christ, you lot are seriously scarey! :shock:

PhilSm

I'd love to play, but not too many scalps on the M25...

cjcp

Very funny moment this morning. A Brompton tried to get past a roadie at some lights on Embankment. Was giving it everything and there was even a hint of that "barging" you see in pro sprints. Ultimately though, a futile attempt because you're not getting anywhere fast on those little wheels, but full marks for guts and determination.

How about another adjuster? Visible tatoos, with a further adjustment for bike-related ones?

Greg T

There was nothing for me this morning - I think the rain has washed a lot of lesser players off the road...

There was a spirited dude on a hub geared MTB affair that I dropped a number of times as he's a spawn of Satan RLJer. and a Roadie who nippoed by me and just about made the 50/50 lights ahead of me. I've got his number we will meet again....

2wheelzgood

Why have you seen some tats?... thats a bit extreme.. like putting a pic of a bike for your avatar or facebook pic..

Can adjusters combine synergistically? I saw a wicker basket used as a pannier. It's true! honest :shock: madness
I still went past, looked down (from my mightly high set seat cos I'm fast dontyaknow) and although no points were taken, The status quo was maintain, him at the bottom of the bottom.
nice

Greg T

2wheelzgood wrote:

Why have you seen some tats?... thats a bit extreme.. like putting a pic of a bike for your avatar or facebook pic..

I saw a guy who had the "bike lane" bike outline tatooed on his calf.

I thought it was tres cool.

On a 19 yr old fit dude on a singlie...

may not be so cool when he's 40 and puffing....

greg66_tri_v2.0

Can we add Gee Whizzes to Scooters at the top of the pile?

On second thoughts, perhaps not. In winter, when they have to run their lights, their wipers and their heaters, they'd have to be relegated to 10 or 11.

Was it my imagination, or was the Invisible Wall In The Road by Millbank particularly unpleasant last night? Getting half way home to find I'd been pushing the 15 sprocket instead of the 16 didn't help.

joew4ll

Took an extra few miles this morning to try and finally find some scalps and lo as I cane to the junction that would take me in to the city a lily white legged roadie went past - in matching team or replica lycra. (surely the fact that shorts, socks and top match is enough for a -1)

Aha I thought, finally I can start the day with more than a clean slate, off I scarper (not trying naturally) only to find that he's slipped onto the cycle path which is on the right hand side of the road. (I've never used it since someone came out of a footpath and I had to come off the path into oncoming traffic at about 20mph - yes I changed my shorts when I got into work). Still, I know the path and it's good and straight for a while, so I'm spinning away, 22, 23, 24 , 25 mph and then just as I'm about to take the scalp fairly and squarley he slows down to take a phone call :x

I'm sure he sensed me and couldn't take the pain of a scalping...next time though I'll be waiting (are we allowed to wait for prey?)

stuaff

cjcp wrote:

Very funny moment this morning. A Brompton tried to get past a roadie at some lights on Embankment. Was giving it everything and there was even a hint of that "barging" you see in pro sprints. Ultimately though, a futile attempt because you're not getting anywhere fast on those little wheels, but full marks for guts and determination.

How about another adjuster? Visible tatoos, with a further adjustment for bike-related ones?

I've been following this thread for a while- not much scope for this in Pompey, too many chavs on crap suspension bikes on the pavement- but as a folder owner, I feel obliged to point out that you've fallen for the 'small wheels are slow' myth. You wouldn't have said that if you'd seen the folder race at the Smithfield Nocturne (fastest guys were lapping at an average of 24 mph & reaching 32-33....). The guy on top is another matter....

cjcp

StuAff wrote:

cjcp wrote:

Very funny moment this morning. A Brompton tried to get past a roadie at some lights on Embankment. Was giving it everything and there was even a hint of that "barging" you see in pro sprints. Ultimately though, a futile attempt because you're not getting anywhere fast on those little wheels, but full marks for guts and determination.

How about another adjuster? Visible tatoos, with a further adjustment for bike-related ones?

I've been following this thread for a while- not much scope for this in Pompey, too many chavs on crap suspension bikes on the pavement- but as a folder owner, I feel obliged to point out that you've fallen for the 'small wheels are slow' myth. You wouldn't have said that if you'd seen the folder race at the Smithfield Nocturne (fastest guys were lapping at an average of 24 mph & reaching 32-33....). The guy on top is another matter....

It was tongue-in-cheek. I often marvel at the speed at which those ickle Bromptons cut through the air.

cjcp

Greg66 wrote:

Can we add Gee Whizzes to Scooters at the top of the pile?

On second thoughts, perhaps not. In winter, when they have to run their lights, their wipers and their heaters, they'd have to be relegated to 10 or 11.

Was it my imagination, or was the Invisible Wall In The Road by Millbank particularly unpleasant last night? Getting half way home to find I'd been pushing the 15 sprocket instead of the 16 didn't help.

The headwind was brutal last night. Damn near came to a standstill as you bend round right.

There were also lots of people dressed more comprehensively than Ellen MacArthur in the Roaring Forties.

Clever Pun

Greg66 wrote:

Can we add Gee Whizzes to Scooters at the top of the pile?

On second thoughts, perhaps not. In winter, when they have to run their lights, their wipers and their heaters, they'd have to be relegated to 10 or 11.

Was it my imagination, or was the Invisible Wall In The Road by Millbank particularly unpleasant last night? Getting half way home to find I'd been pushing the 15 sprocket instead of the 16 didn't help.

I was going to mention this.. open road only and when there's "nothing slowing them down"

There's one from the grenwich tunnel to CW I've taken before made me laugh... a lot

I saw a guy who had the "bike lane" bike outline tatooed on his calf.

I thought it was tres cool.

On a 19 yr old fit dude on a singlie...

may not be so cool when he's 40 and puffing....

That's a whole new thread right there... all tatts will look different on older people but they've had many years of good service

How exactly would tattoos affect your fcn other than making me look badass 8)

cjcp

2wheelzgood wrote:

Why have you seen some tats?... thats a bit extreme.. like putting a pic of a bike for your avatar or facebook pic..

Can adjusters combine synergistically? I saw a wicker basket used as a pannier. It's true! honest :shock: madness
I still went past, looked down (from my mightly high set seat cos I'm fast dontyaknow) and although no points were taken, The status quo was maintain, him at the bottom of the bottom.
nice

Saw the tatoos this morning. A sprocket and a chainring on the right calf. Turned off at Blackfriars.

robmanic1

Clever Pun wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

I saw a guy who had the "bike lane" bike outline tatooed on his calf.

I thought it was tres cool.

On a 19 yr old fit dude on a singlie...

may not be so cool when he's 40 and puffing....

That's a whole new thread right there... all tatts will look different on older people but they've had many years of good service

How exactly would tattoos affect your fcn other than making me look badass 8)

Bike related tat -2
Spider web on neck +6
Boxing bulldog +12

Clever Pun

Robmanic1 wrote:

Clever Pun wrote:

That's a whole new thread right there... all tatts will look different on older people but they've had many years of good service

How exactly would tattoos affect your fcn other than making me look badass 8)

Bike related tat -2
Spider web on neck +6
Boxing bulldog +12

don't forget the elbows.. all my ink is black work polynesian and repeating pattern stuff, I don't do pictures although I have a set of go faster stripes on my right shin