wednesday is not what it says, but what it means

124

Comments

  • tetley10
    tetley10 Posts: 693
    elbowloh said:

    tetley10 said:

    When i win the lottery on Friday I reckon I could make this happen. I don't want to be the boss though.

    Yeah, totally.

    Same with me. I'm going to win the lottery, buy the cafe and get someone else to manage it.

    I'll just pop in, hang out, tinker with some bikes, drink coffee, eat cake and be "mr cool boss".
    Bow, I came up with the idea first so i'll be number 1 cool boss and you can be the deputy cool boss.
  • Ben6899
    Ben6899 Posts: 9,686
    I'll just come in and spot all the incorrectly installed Campag 11spd chain pins.
    Ben

    Bikes: Donhou DSS4 Custom | Condor Italia RC | Gios Megalite | Dolan Preffisio | Giant Bowery '76
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ben_h_ppcc/
    Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/143173475@N05/
  • johngti
    johngti Posts: 2,508
    Ben6899 said:

    I'll just come in and spot all the incorrectly installed Campag 11spd chain pins.

    If I'm spannering, they'll all be perfect thank you very much
  • hopkinb
    hopkinb Posts: 7,129
    MattFalle said:

    Evening licence but only for the tranquillos.

    Huuuuge plates of fresh salami e formaggi knocking around, loaves of pane Italiana fresh from the bakery with bowls of olive oil from my place in Italy and balsamic vinegar.

    I'll pop in for this. Plus the vino rosso. I'll watch you guys get oily hands while I eat. Ideally outside, in the shade of a nice big tree.

  • tetley10
    tetley10 Posts: 693
    Hopkinb, I will make sure there is a live feed of the mechanics workshop.

    Sorry, forgot MF is the boss.
  • johngti
    johngti Posts: 2,508
    tetley10 said:


    Sorry, forgot MF is the boss.

    Hold on now, I'm not going to be the dogsbody around the place...

  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 61,647
    hopkinb said:

    Just lost a minion again..35% increase in pay to go to a fintech. She's young and sparky. She's going to feed logic and knowledge to app developers to help small businesses have a bank account that also does their VAT compliance. It's the future.

    For the sake of GBP 13k we've lost a good person.

    Temp cover as she is compliance/business as usual critical, recruitment fees, likelihood of losing her manager who is already p!ssed off. The company will be 10's of thousands down, with disruption and annoyance to the business sky high. She was offered more money, but would have stayed with us for less than she was being offered as long as we were close. I was offered 2 grand. I said I would not even mention it to her, it would be an insult.

    For 13k. My materiality level for group reporting? USD 18m.

    It's not even rounding.

    Gaaaah. Ballcocks. At least its not only my problem. Non rotating staff, i.e. non Japanese expats are leaving in droves.

    Not good - it probably doesn't help that the HR computer says no to matching a what is clearly a market rate. I've been lucky that the last couple of times I've been able to steamroller them with some support from the boss who get this. Although one case was pre-emptive.
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    edited April 2021
    hopkinb said:

    MattFalle said:

    Evening licence but only for the tranquillos.

    Huuuuge plates of fresh salami e formaggi knocking around, loaves of pane Italiana fresh from the bakery with bowls of olive oil from my place in Italy and balsamic vinegar.

    I'll pop in for this. Plus the vino rosso. I'll watch you guys get oily hands while I eat. Ideally outside, in the shade of a nice big tree.

    I'd reserved you a table already H3, goes without saying.
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    edited April 2021
    tetley10 said:

    Hopkinb, I will make sure there is a live feed of the mechanics workshop.

    Sorry, forgot MF is the boss.

    I haven't decided exactly where the mechanics will be - thinking they have their own area, proper wood floor boards with the same covering the walls as they will look mega when worn in, tunes from the DJ, but deffo a dedicated but cool apprentice or someone who we as a collective have decided needs a hand in life.

    The whirrrrrr of perfectly fettled chains and freewheels, the tinker of tools, gentle pisstaking, no one from Dynamo.
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    johngti said:

    tetley10 said:


    Sorry, forgot MF is the boss.

    Hold on now, I'm not going to be the dogsbody around the place...

    Front of house?
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • johngti
    johngti Posts: 2,508
    MattFalle said:

    tetley10 said:

    Hopkinb, I will make sure there is a live feed of the mechanics workshop.

    Sorry, forgot MF is the boss.

    I haven't decided exactly where the mechanics will be - thinking they have their own area, proper wood floor boards with the same covering the walls as they will look mega when worn in, tunes from the DJ, but deffo a dedicated but cool apprentice or someone who we as a collective have decided needs a hand in life.

    The whirrrrrr of perfectly fettled chains and freewheels, the tinker of tools, gentle pisstaking, no one from Dynamo.
    OMFG, this would be amazeballs, like, seriously. I can picture it now. Tetley's a wannabe scouser, mind, so that could go either way...
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    edited April 2021
    Deffo equal bird/bloke ratio in all aspects of all roles in the place.

    No harping by people about how they the club 10 in 1996 or somesuchshite allowed within 1/2 a mile or they get lobbed out.

    French, Italian, Dutch and Belgian racing to be shown on TVs.



    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • elbowloh
    elbowloh Posts: 7,078
    MattFalle said:

    Deffo equal bird/bloke ratio in all aspects of all roles in the place.

    No harping by people about how they the club 10 in 1996 or somesuchshite allowed within 1/2 a mile or they get lobbed out.

    French, Italian, Dutch and Belgian racing to be shown on TVs.



    Not as cool as this, but GIRO is Esher is a decent bike cafe, chilled and shows racing on TV all day - having said that, haven't been for a while now!
    Felt F1 2014
    Felt Z6 2012
    Red Arthur Caygill steel frame
    Tall....
    www.seewildlife.co.uk
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,431
    johngti said:

    Ben6899 said:

    I'll just come in and spot all the incorrectly installed Campag 11spd chain pins.

    If I'm spannering, they'll all be perfect thank you very much
    If i'm spannering, they'll all be fitted with Wipperman connex quick links. So you'll be 3rd Mechanic behind Ben.

    Ben can put some pics on the wall.
    You can play tunes on your banjo - up the corner.
    Seano can sweep the floor to be sure to be sure.
    MF can be bouncer.
    I don't know enough about Teltey's skills so he'll be making tea in the short term probationary period.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,695
    pinno said:

    johngti said:

    Ben6899 said:

    I'll just come in and spot all the incorrectly installed Campag 11spd chain pins.

    If I'm spannering, they'll all be perfect thank you very much
    If i'm spannering, they'll all be fitted with Wipperman connex quick links. So you'll be 3rd Mechanic behind Ben.

    Ben can put some pics on the wall.
    You can play tunes on your banjo - up the corner.
    Seano can sweep the floor to be sure to be sure.
    MF can be bouncer.
    I don't know enough about Teltey's skills so he'll be making tea in the short term probationary period.
    Seano, the Beckenbauer of sweeping floors.
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • tetley10
    tetley10 Posts: 693
    pinno said:

    johngti said:

    Ben6899 said:

    I'll just come in and spot all the incorrectly installed Campag 11spd chain pins.

    If I'm spannering, they'll all be perfect thank you very much
    If i'm spannering, they'll all be fitted with Wipperman connex quick links. So you'll be 3rd Mechanic behind Ben.

    Ben can put some pics on the wall.
    You can play tunes on your banjo - up the corner.
    Seano can sweep the floor to be sure to be sure.
    MF can be bouncer.
    I don't know enough about Teltey's skills so he'll be making tea in the short term probationary period.
    I'm from up north (and used to work at the dump) so tea making is right up my street.

  • johngti
    johngti Posts: 2,508
    tetley10 said:

    pinno said:

    johngti said:

    Ben6899 said:

    I'll just come in and spot all the incorrectly installed Campag 11spd chain pins.

    If I'm spannering, they'll all be perfect thank you very much
    If i'm spannering, they'll all be fitted with Wipperman connex quick links. So you'll be 3rd Mechanic behind Ben.

    Ben can put some pics on the wall.
    You can play tunes on your banjo - up the corner.
    Seano can sweep the floor to be sure to be sure.
    MF can be bouncer.
    I don't know enough about Teltey's skills so he'll be making tea in the short term probationary period.
    I'm from up north (and used to work at the dump) so tea making is right up my street.

    Surely your job would be to stand outside and ask the punters for a fiver each to make sure nothing bad happened to their bikes, Birkenhead style.
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,431
    seanoconn said:

    pinno said:

    johngti said:

    Ben6899 said:

    I'll just come in and spot all the incorrectly installed Campag 11spd chain pins.

    If I'm spannering, they'll all be perfect thank you very much
    If i'm spannering, they'll all be fitted with Wipperman connex quick links. So you'll be 3rd Mechanic behind Ben.

    Ben can put some pics on the wall.
    You can play tunes on your banjo - up the corner.
    Seano can sweep the floor to be sure to be sure.
    MF can be bouncer.
    I don't know enough about Teltey's skills so he'll be making tea in the short term probationary period.
    Seano, the Beckenbauer of sweeping floors.
    Ben: the Ansel Adams of deputy spannering.
    John Gti: the Slash of 3rd deputy deputy spannering.
    MF: The Albert Camus of bouncering.
    Tetley: The George Best of tea making.

    Gotta have Hoppy on the BBQ (and he and that other wotsit city bloke can stop talking pensions, retirement and money too. It's getting fcuking boring and tedious).

    Step can put a cake database together.
    VN can be chief bike crasher tester.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    edited April 2021
    We can have WS on huuuuuge screens from his neck of the woods explaining mahoosif home d.i.y inbetween races.

    Like Kevin from Grand Designs but more Antipodean.
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    Anyhow, why am I the bouncer?

    I've spent my entire life avoiding unnecessary scrapping and now you want to risk my good looks with some noodle armed Dynamo banker swing a puny fist at me?

    I want danger money. or at least a cricket bat.
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,840
    Bit of a rubbish day at work, beautiful assistant was also rather fed up. Having looked at this thread at lunchtime I told her I was going to jack it in and fix bikes for a living. Before I'd finished the sentence telling her she could come and do my admin and generally hang around looking lush she went off on one saying I couldn't go and leave her there.
    So, I'm in as tester/crasher but we have to employ my beautiful assistant. I'm sure she'd wear a lab coat if we ask her nicely.
  • johngti
    johngti Posts: 2,508
    MattFalle said:

    Anyhow, why am I the bouncer?

    I've spent my entire life avoiding unnecessary scrapping and now you want to risk my good looks with some noodle armed Dynamo banker swing a puny fist at me?

    I want danger money. or at least a cricket bat.

    We’ll give you money for a coffee and a table tennis bat. Would that be cool?
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    edited April 2021

    Bit of a rubbish day at work, beautiful assistant was also rather fed up. Having looked at this thread at lunchtime I told her I was going to jack it in and fix bikes for a living. Before I'd finished the sentence telling her she could come and do my admin and generally hang around looking lush she went off on one saying I couldn't go and leave her there.
    So, I'm in as tester/crasher but we have to employ my beautiful assistant. I'm sure she'd wear a lab coat if we ask her nicely.

    pics?

    tell her its for recruitment purposes for her dream job in a lab, therefore the coat requirement.
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    johngti said:

    MattFalle said:

    Anyhow, why am I the bouncer?

    I've spent my entire life avoiding unnecessary scrapping and now you want to risk my good looks with some noodle armed Dynamo banker swing a puny fist at me?

    I want danger money. or at least a cricket bat.

    We’ll give you money for a coffee and a table tennis bat. Would that be cool?
    You'll give me money in my own bicycle bookshop to pay for my own coffee?

    I feel I'm being done over here.

    How much money?
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • johngti
    johngti Posts: 2,508
    50p. You’re one of the cool dudes that gets cheaper coffee.
  • johngti
    johngti Posts: 2,508
    And don’t forget you’re getting that AND a table tennis bat.
  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,695

    Bit of a rubbish day at work, beautiful assistant was also rather fed up. Having looked at this thread at lunchtime I told her I was going to jack it in and fix bikes for a living. Before I'd finished the sentence telling her she could come and do my admin and generally hang around looking lush she went off on one saying I couldn't go and leave her there.
    So, I'm in as tester/crasher but we have to employ my beautiful assistant. I'm sure she'd wear a lab coat if we ask her nicely.

    “You can’t go and leave her there.”

    As an expert in such matters she definitely into you. What’s her relationship status? Anyway you now have 3 options.

    1:) Keep up the charm, subtle compliments and gentlemanly conduct, enjoy the banter, flirtation and see how far you can push it without getting yourself in deep ship.

    2:) keep up the charm, subtle compliments and gentlemanly conduct, enjoy the banter, flirtation and push it until you get yourself in deep ship.

    3:) back the f@ck off before you get yourself in deep ship.
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • johngti
    johngti Posts: 2,508
    seanoconn said:

    Bit of a rubbish day at work, beautiful assistant was also rather fed up. Having looked at this thread at lunchtime I told her I was going to jack it in and fix bikes for a living. Before I'd finished the sentence telling her she could come and do my admin and generally hang around looking lush she went off on one saying I couldn't go and leave her there.
    So, I'm in as tester/crasher but we have to employ my beautiful assistant. I'm sure she'd wear a lab coat if we ask her nicely.

    “You can’t go and leave her there.”

    As an expert in such matters she definitely into you. What’s her relationship status? Anyway you now have 3 options.

    1:) Keep up the charm, subtle compliments and gentlemanly conduct, enjoy the banter, flirtation and see how far you can push it without getting yourself in deep ship.

    2:) keep up the charm, subtle compliments and gentlemanly conduct, enjoy the banter, flirtation and push it until you get yourself in deep ship.

    3:) back the f@ck off before you get yourself in deep ship.
    Words of wisdom #notjealousatall
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    johngti said:

    50p. You’re one of the cool dudes that gets cheaper coffee.

    its almost tempting with those kinda numbers floating around ....
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    johngti said:

    And don’t forget you’re getting that AND a table tennis bat.

    too generous.

    Can I also have a log from the pile that is drying in the book shop side ready to be put in one of the stoves that we have going in each part of the shebang in the winter?
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.