A Mental Health Thread

24

Comments

  • robert88
    robert88 Posts: 2,696
    john80 wrote:
    Robert88 wrote:
    Someone, whose view I respect, told me once that mental health issues were very often brought on by the behaviour of others. This morning I am sure that's more true than ever.

    This would be true if you wanted to live a live of abject depression blaming everyone else for your perceived issues. Honestly I failed that exam because the other students were mean or the teacher was rubbish. If the above is true then what is the answer. Capitulate to every person that has a problem they wish to claim is related to mental health. Not sure the NHS has got the funds for this widespread navel gazing.

    You are a bit of a simpleton, I think.
  • hopkinb
    hopkinb Posts: 7,129
    A lot of words that say literally nothing, except that you know nothing about the issue and care even less. You and yours are ok. Well done.

    Your ground-breaking insights into the causes of, and treatment of anxiety disorder could make you millions. You should open a clinic.
  • hopkinb
    hopkinb Posts: 7,129
    hopkinb wrote:
    Mental health issues are very often brought on by the abusive behaviour of others, very often in childhood, very often repeated generationally.
    Webboo wrote:
    Although if you were to suggest that in one’s developmental years you experienced some form of abuse or experienced trauma caused by someone else. Then you could say other people’s behaviour causes mental health problems.

    Webboo says it better, what with being a professional and all.
  • john80
    john80 Posts: 2,965
    Robert88 wrote:
    john80 wrote:
    Robert88 wrote:
    Someone, whose view I respect, told me once that mental health issues were very often brought on by the behaviour of others. This morning I am sure that's more true than ever.

    This would be true if you wanted to live a live of abject depression blaming everyone else for your perceived issues. Honestly I failed that exam because the other students were mean or the teacher was rubbish. If the above is true then what is the answer. Capitulate to every person that has a problem they wish to claim is related to mental health. Not sure the NHS has got the funds for this widespread navel gazing.

    You are a bit of a simpleton, I think.

    The feelings mutual. Apparently Hopkind has 30 years experience as a mental health professional and thinks you are wrong. But he only answers to my posts for some reason. #Confusing.
  • john80
    john80 Posts: 2,965
    hopkinb wrote:
    A lot of words that say literally nothing, except that you know nothing about the issue and care even less. You and yours are ok. Well done.

    Your ground-breaking insights into the causes of, and treatment of anxiety disorder could make you millions. You should open a clinic.

    I will leave that you you to do as you are a professional in this area. Admittedly this is the internet so you could work in another field or be typing from home in your anxiety riddled depressive state. As a professional you planning on giving us any tips that would reduce our suicide rate or remarkable increase in teenage depression?
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 26,133
    john80 wrote:
    hopkinb wrote:
    A lot of words that say literally nothing, except that you know nothing about the issue and care even less. You and yours are ok. Well done.

    Your ground-breaking insights into the causes of, and treatment of anxiety disorder could make you millions. You should open a clinic.

    I will leave that you you to do as you are a professional in this area. Admittedly this is the internet so you could work in another field or be typing from home in your anxiety riddled depressive state. As a professional you planning on giving us any tips that would reduce our suicide rate or remarkable increase in teenage depression?

    Re-read the thread.
  • hopkinb
    hopkinb Posts: 7,129
    john80 wrote:
    Robert88 wrote:
    john80 wrote:
    Robert88 wrote:
    Someone, whose view I respect, told me once that mental health issues were very often brought on by the behaviour of others. This morning I am sure that's more true than ever.

    This would be true if you wanted to live a live of abject depression blaming everyone else for your perceived issues. Honestly I failed that exam because the other students were mean or the teacher was rubbish. If the above is true then what is the answer. Capitulate to every person that has a problem they wish to claim is related to mental health. Not sure the NHS has got the funds for this widespread navel gazing.

    You are a bit of a simpleton, I think.

    The feelings mutual. Apparently Hopkind has 30 years experience as a mental health professional and thinks you are wrong. But he only answers to my posts for some reason. #Confusing.

    If you weren't such a simpleton, you would be able to read who said what to who, who agrees with who, and who has 30 years experience as a mental health professional. However, there is a degree of development and nuance that both I and Webboo applied to Robert88's statement.

    However, the suggestion that that your ground-breaking insights into anxiety disorder and its treatment should make you millions if you open a clinic wasn't following a quote, so might be misinterpreted, but that was directed at you. However, it was also sarcastic.
  • chris_bass
    chris_bass Posts: 4,913
    To clarify the difference as i see it:

    People often say they are a bit OCD about X or they like things being neat and tidy, ordered correctly - the difference as i see it is like vs need. who would want things in an order that meant they were easy to find? but if you can't leave the house until they are or you have checked, re-checked and then checked again to make sure they are is when it is a problem. When you cancel plans, are late for work or miss it entirely because of this - that is a disorder (strange irony of having a disorder about things being in order!)

    personally i haven't been abroad for years because i can't (admittedly i can but for me it seems impossible). my sister has lived abroad for 10 years, i only see her when she is in this country as a result.

    I can't go out on an evening because i have to be home at a certain time to eat certain things in a certain order.

    I wasn't able to go out for a meal with my, now ex, girlfriend on her birthday because i can't eat things i don't know what is in it so i can make sure all the numbers i set myself work out nicely for me. She went out for pizza on her own - i wonder why we aren't together anymore?!

    I have missed friends weddings, birthday parties and any other type of event you can think of because it doesn't fit into my routine.

    I have let my flat fall into disrepair (which i am now correcting - finally!) because i couldn't fit decorating into my routine.

    my family didn't know how to talk to me because they weren't sure how i would react - they now are much better and we are now very close (every cloud has a silver lining i suppose!)

    I have been very underweight, overweight and everywhere in between because i need to balance food and exercise and this is hard to do when you try and work it out based purely on numbers and humans don't fit into a nice and neat calculation like i'd want them to.

    I could go on and on. but that is just scraping the surface of my mental health.

    I am not blaming anyone else, i wasn't abused, bullied or anything like that - i think this is just me, maybe my brain is wired wrong or differently to most peoples or something but i'm 35 and want to start my life now! at last!
    www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes
  • hopkinb
    hopkinb Posts: 7,129
    Chris Bass wrote:
    To clarify the difference as i see it:

    People often say they are a bit OCD about X or they like things being neat and tidy, ordered correctly - the difference as i see it is like vs need. who would want things in an order that meant they were easy to find? but if you can't leave the house until they are or you have checked, re-checked and then checked again to make sure they are is when it is a problem. When you cancel plans, are late for work or miss it entirely because of this - that is a disorder (strange irony of having a disorder about things being in order!)

    personally i haven't been abroad for years because i can't (admittedly i can but for me it seems impossible). my sister has lived abroad for 10 years, i only see her when she is in this country as a result.

    I can't go out on an evening because i have to be home at a certain time to eat certain things in a certain order.

    I wasn't able to go out for a meal with my, now ex, girlfriend on her birthday because i can't eat things i don't know what is in it so i can make sure all the numbers i set myself work out nicely for me. She went out for pizza on her own - i wonder why we aren't together anymore?!

    I have missed friends weddings, birthday parties and any other type of event you can think of because it doesn't fit into my routine.

    I have let my flat fall into disrepair (which i am now correcting - finally!) because i couldn't fit decorating into my routine.

    my family didn't know how to talk to me because they weren't sure how i would react - they now are much better and we are now very close (every cloud has a silver lining i suppose!)

    I have been very underweight, overweight and everywhere in between because i need to balance food and exercise and this is hard to do when you try and work it out based purely on numbers and humans don't fit into a nice and neat calculation like i'd want them to.

    I could go on and on. but that is just scraping the surface of my mental health.

    I am not blaming anyone else, i wasn't abused, bullied or anything like that - i think this is just me, maybe my brain is wired wrong or differently to most peoples or something but i'm 35 and want to start my life now! at last!

    Sorry for hijacking your thread Chris.

    Best of luck for the future and I hope you continue on a stable and functional trajectory. :D
  • chris_bass
    chris_bass Posts: 4,913
    hopkinb wrote:
    Sorry for hijacking your thread Chris.

    Best of luck for the future and I hope you continue on a stable and functional trajectory. :D

    No worries! keeps the thread towards the top of the forum so i'm not going to complain!

    but just be warned - you don't want to annoy us mental folk!
    www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes
  • slowbike
    slowbike Posts: 8,498
    Chris Bass wrote:
    I am not blaming anyone else, i wasn't abused, bullied or anything like that - i think this is just me, maybe my brain is wired wrong or differently to most peoples or something but i'm 35 and want to start my life now! at last!

    Thank you for posting .. and good luck ...


    in part of my work I fix things (fortunately not human things) - sometimes I know what/why, other times it fixes itself when I turn up - the later is the PITA as I can't mitigate for the failure - whereas the former could be anticipated or changed so they don't break to start with (assuming the budget/time is there to do so) - so being able to label what's wrong is a huge bonus and I can see why it gets you in a mess when you haven't got that label.
  • chris_bass
    chris_bass Posts: 4,913
    Slowbike wrote:
    Chris Bass wrote:
    I am not blaming anyone else, i wasn't abused, bullied or anything like that - i think this is just me, maybe my brain is wired wrong or differently to most peoples or something but i'm 35 and want to start my life now! at last!

    Thank you for posting .. and good luck ...


    in part of my work I fix things (fortunately not human things) - sometimes I know what/why, other times it fixes itself when I turn up - the later is the PITA as I can't mitigate for the failure - whereas the former could be anticipated or changed so they don't break to start with (assuming the budget/time is there to do so) - so being able to label what's wrong is a huge bonus and I can see why it gets you in a mess when you haven't got that label.

    thanks

    yeah that is it - and also not knowing what it was made knowing what to do about it pretty difficult to work out too.

    also - it gives me a "i'm allowed to be a d1ck" free pass too - if i annoy someone its just the autism - right?! :wink:
    www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes
  • shirley_basso
    shirley_basso Posts: 6,195
    It's not a highjack. It's interesting insight.

    Even listening to john80 - remember that noone's opinion on this thread is particularly unique to that individual - there are other people who share his views/ opinions, which gives professionals and the public an understanding as to why mental health disorders exist in much the same way there are other people in this world who share the issues discussed in this thread.

    In much the same way we are learning more about disorders themselves, we also learn about the people who don't believe they exist / understand them / the view of the public who aren't so understanding
  • whyamihere
    whyamihere Posts: 7,695
    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 24, after a few years of having a diagnosis of depression and not really having things work out - I only went to the doctors when depressed, as when I was manic I felt fantastic, and I was never really asked the right questions to make it click. It was only when I watched a documentary about bipolar disorder that it started to fall into place and I was able to get referred to a psychiatrist and get the diagnosis.

    Overall, things have been positive. I still have really bad periods, but the medication generally helps me drag myself out of them. The knowledge that at 24 I had a diagnosis that would affect me and which would almost certainly require treatment for the rest of my life was a bit of a bugger, that's something I still struggle with to some extent many years later. It generally did start to make sense once I had the diagnosis though, and I could start working back over my history and figuring out how it all fit together.

    One of the hardest things for me nowadays is the stigma associated with mental health issues (some of which has unfortunately, but not unexpectedly, shown up in this thread). I never tell employers about it out of fear of being viewed or treated differently. This can cause problems if I have to take some time off (I generally claim to have a bad cold or something, though I have no idea how well believed that is). It can also cause problems with friendships and other relationships. The people who know generally understand, but I have also had bad reactions. It comes to the point that I've been debating all day about posting in this thread, because there's about 3 people who use the forum who've met me in real life.

    Good luck CB, hopefully everything will start to work out now.
  • shirley_basso
    shirley_basso Posts: 6,195
    What is surprising is how many people suffer from these conditions in various forms. They are not that unusual and actually many people are struggling in similar ways. Some people with chronic conditions, some just temporarily.

    A little bit of understanding goes a long way, even if you don't necessarily believe the individual. I am a pretty selfish and impatient individual and I find it quite hard to empathise as I am generally happy go lucky whatever the outlook - I always see the light at the end of the tunnel regardless - something those with depression definitely DO NOT!

    This makes it hard to fully support those with mental issues but I am learning and improving as I deal with one or two on a fairly regular basis. I understand on a superficial level their condition, but simply cannot fathom what it is like to go through what they are. I have snapped at someone with depression while they were in an unhappy place, but I am getting better.

    I have to tell the person to be more clear with me about how they are feeling so I can alter my behavior as I don't see the cues and end up walking on eggshells. I am getting there to be more supportive.
  • chris_bass
    chris_bass Posts: 4,913
    It's not a highjack. It's interesting insight.

    this is very true - this wasn't meant to be a thread all about my mental health but about people's in general
    www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes
  • First.Aspect
    First.Aspect Posts: 14,498
    Chris Bass wrote:
    To clarify the difference as i see it:

    People often say they are a bit OCD about X or they like things being neat and tidy, ordered correctly - the difference as i see it is like vs need. who would want things in an order that meant they were easy to find? but if you can't leave the house until they are or you have checked, re-checked and then checked again to make sure they are is when it is a problem. When you cancel plans, are late for work or miss it entirely because of this - that is a disorder (strange irony of having a disorder about things being in order!)

    personally i haven't been abroad for years because i can't (admittedly i can but for me it seems impossible). my sister has lived abroad for 10 years, i only see her when she is in this country as a result.

    I can't go out on an evening because i have to be home at a certain time to eat certain things in a certain order.

    I wasn't able to go out for a meal with my, now ex, girlfriend on her birthday because i can't eat things i don't know what is in it so i can make sure all the numbers i set myself work out nicely for me. She went out for pizza on her own - i wonder why we aren't together anymore?!

    I have missed friends weddings, birthday parties and any other type of event you can think of because it doesn't fit into my routine.

    I have let my flat fall into disrepair (which i am now correcting - finally!) because i couldn't fit decorating into my routine.

    my family didn't know how to talk to me because they weren't sure how i would react - they now are much better and we are now very close (every cloud has a silver lining i suppose!)

    I have been very underweight, overweight and everywhere in between because i need to balance food and exercise and this is hard to do when you try and work it out based purely on numbers and humans don't fit into a nice and neat calculation like i'd want them to.

    I could go on and on. but that is just scraping the surface of my mental health.

    I am not blaming anyone else, i wasn't abused, bullied or anything like that - i think this is just me, maybe my brain is wired wrong or differently to most peoples or something but i'm 35 and want to start my life now! at last!
    Your brain is wired differently by the sounds of it. But wrong? Not so sure, but you do live in a society that isn't necessarily ideal for your wiring.

    You need some work arounds. Or at those in IT call them, "solutions".

    Have you tried switching yourself off and back on again?
  • webboo
    webboo Posts: 6,087
    I had a young man on my caseload who had struggled for many years. He worked as a nursing assistant and had attempted nurse training but apppeared unable to cope with it. He had even paid for private therapy, so after lots of had scratching and numerous discussions with colleagues of various disciplines we arranged for some psychological tests. At the meeting with the Psychologist after she explained what she was hoping to do. He said do you mean these tests and pulled out a series of reports he had done whilst at University doing his nurse training. He carried these round with him all the time but never thought they might be helpful to myself or others trying to help him. These reports clearly indicated he had Aspergers.
    Although having this diagnosis helped him and his family understand why he behaved as he did, it did not make everyday life any easier for him.
    As he put it “I don’t have the instruction book for human relationships “
    His ambition in life was work in a field where he couldt help other people but as he unable to understand the boundaries of relationships, this was probably worst choice of career. Despite many failures and being exploited by nursing agencies he just could not grasp the issues.
    So a diagnosis in its self is not always an answer.
    He did give me a book All cats have Aspergers which he said explained it from his perspective.
  • cycleclinic
    cycleclinic Posts: 6,865
    Austism is not a disorder, it how your brain is wired and there nothing wrong with that. It must confer an evolutionary advantage for most which is why it exists. Same with ADHD-what over that hill syndrome it could have abeen a good food source.

    I am not sure forums are the best place for mental health discussions. I dont feel comfortable with the bear all feelings approach. That best shared privately with people you trust imo. Then again I still like down tube shifters to bring a bike into this thread.

    Alot of people have autisic/asbergers traits that quite normal.
    http://www.thecycleclinic.co.uk -wheel building and other stuff.
  • Tashman
    Tashman Posts: 3,398
    Best of luck Chris and thanks for clarifying your position.

    As I've explained in another thread over the past year I've had issues with my mental health and am dealing with tose daily now. For anyone who isat all feeling that it's all too much, I can't emphasize enough that talking/sharing has helped me no end, firstly with strangers on here, then with my GP, wife and other mental health professionals. There is support. Please do whatever you need to to access it.
  • chris_bass
    chris_bass Posts: 4,913
    Tashman wrote:
    Best of luck Chris and thanks for clarifying your position.

    As I've explained in another thread over the past year I've had issues with my mental health and am dealing with tose daily now. For anyone who isat all feeling that it's all too much, I can't emphasize enough that talking/sharing has helped me no end, firstly with strangers on here, then with my GP, wife and other mental health professionals. There is support. Please do whatever you need to to access it.

    yours was the thread i mentioned in the original post and the one i didn't want to hijack. It seemed that you being able to express it in the relative anonymity of a forum helped you move forwards so i wanted to share my struggles and hope others may feel like they can also come forward/speak to someone/feel like they aren't alone etc.

    I hope you are doing well now and have more good days than bad.
    www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes
  • Tashman
    Tashman Posts: 3,398
    Chris Bass wrote:
    Tashman wrote:
    Best of luck Chris and thanks for clarifying your position.

    As I've explained in another thread over the past year I've had issues with my mental health and am dealing with tose daily now. For anyone who isat all feeling that it's all too much, I can't emphasize enough that talking/sharing has helped me no end, firstly with strangers on here, then with my GP, wife and other mental health professionals. There is support. Please do whatever you need to to access it.

    yours was the thread i mentioned in the original post and the one i didn't want to hijack. It seemed that you being able to express it in the relative anonymity of a forum helped you move forwards so i wanted to share my struggles and hope others may feel like they can also come forward/speak to someone/feel like they aren't alone etc.

    I hope you are doing well now and have more good days than bad.
    Thanks Chris, one day at a time. Finding focus for events ahead is working for me now too so that it's not all about what's happening right now or has happened in the past.
  • morstar
    morstar Posts: 6,190
    I dont feel comfortable with the bear all feelings approach. That best shared privately with people you trust imo.

    It's OK to talk!

    And not everybody (particularly those with challenges) may have people they trust/can open up to.
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 27,487
    morstar wrote:
    I dont feel comfortable with the bear all feelings approach. That best shared privately with people you trust imo.

    It's OK to talk!

    And not everybody (particularly those with challenges) may have people they trust/can open up to.

    Room enough for both approaches, surely.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • Alejandrosdog
    Alejandrosdog Posts: 1,975
    Well the liberati have outed themselves as nutters in this thread.

    All makes sense now.
  • crumbschief
    crumbschief Posts: 3,399
    Chris Bass wrote:
    To clarify the difference as i see it:

    People often say they are a bit OCD about X or they like things being neat and tidy, ordered correctly - the difference as i see it is like vs need. who would want things in an order that meant they were easy to find? but if you can't leave the house until they are or you have checked, re-checked and then checked again to make sure they are is when it is a problem. When you cancel plans, are late for work or miss it entirely because of this - that is a disorder (strange irony of having a disorder about things being in order!)

    personally i haven't been abroad for years because i can't (admittedly i can but for me it seems impossible). my sister has lived abroad for 10 years, i only see her when she is in this country as a result.

    I can't go out on an evening because i have to be home at a certain time to eat certain things in a certain order.

    I wasn't able to go out for a meal with my, now ex, girlfriend on her birthday because i can't eat things i don't know what is in it so i can make sure all the numbers i set myself work out nicely for me. She went out for pizza on her own - i wonder why we aren't together anymore?!

    I have missed friends weddings, birthday parties and any other type of event you can think of because it doesn't fit into my routine.

    I have let my flat fall into disrepair (which i am now correcting - finally!) because i couldn't fit decorating into my routine.

    my family didn't know how to talk to me because they weren't sure how i would react - they now are much better and we are now very close (every cloud has a silver lining i suppose!)

    I have been very underweight, overweight and everywhere in between because i need to balance food and exercise and this is hard to do when you try and work it out based purely on numbers and humans don't fit into a nice and neat calculation like i'd want them to.

    I could go on and on. but that is just scraping the surface of my mental health.

    I am not blaming anyone else, i wasn't abused, bullied or anything like that - i think this is just me, maybe my brain is wired wrong or differently to most peoples or something but i'm 35 and want to start my life now! at last!

    Well as it's Friday everyone,i just want to say i have not had a Crunchie but reading all that it is good to see you can be that open here Chris,not talking even with yourself can cause more trouble.
  • Lagrange
    Lagrange Posts: 652
    tw@
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,199
    My daughter has Aspergers. We knew something wasn't right from the beginning. Luckily, the infrastructure is there, it has evolved immeasurably and we benefit from a lot of input from various agencies.

    To her, she is normal - it's everyone else that don't seem right.

    Anyway, mental health is just like any other facet of well being, it ebbs and it flows. Most adults will go, at some point in their lives, through a period of mental ill health - whether they are aware of it or not.

    When society realises poor mental health as an almost 'normal' thing to happen, to even the most benign of individuals. living the most benign of existences and that a person can suffer at some point in their lifetime for any length of time, then we will be better prepared, more accepting and more tolerant. Until this happens, until we accept that a mental health issue is highly probable for any individual in a lifetime, we are collectively sticking our heads in the sand.
    It also makes it far more difficult for people to realise, open up and tackle the problem.
    Male suicide rates are still far too high in the UK.

    An individual who comes on to an open forum and states a personal history of mental health problems, is brave but also indicative of an increasing acceptance of a very prevalent issue and an increasing acceptance that mental health problems are common place.

    Now, if you do not wish to publicly share your own personal experience/experiences, then that is your choice but if someone wants to do it in this way, then that is their choice too.

    When an individual adopts a position of distancing themselves or claiming that they are immune to such conditions, including the arrogant assumption that they are too mentally strong to ever suffer from a weak, over sensitive (un-manly?), mental health problem, they are very much on the spectrum of displaying symptoms of... a mental health disorder.

    "He who doth protest too much"
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • crumbschief
    crumbschief Posts: 3,399
    Pinno wrote:
    My daughter has Aspergers. We knew something wasn't right from the beginning. Luckily, the infrastructure is there, it has evolved immeasurably and we benefit from a lot of input from various agencies.

    To her, she is normal - it's everyone else that don't seem right.

    Anyway, mental health is just like any other facet of well being, it ebbs and it flows. Most adults will go, at some point in their lives, through a period of mental ill health - whether they are aware of it or not.

    When society realises poor mental health as an almost 'normal' thing to happen, to even the most benign of individuals. living the most benign of existences and that a person can suffer at some point in their lifetime for any length of time, then we will be better prepared, more accepting and more tolerant. Until this happens, until we accept that a mental health issue is highly probable for any individual in a lifetime, we are collectively sticking our heads in the sand.
    It also makes it far more difficult for people to realise, open up and tackle the problem.
    Male suicide rates are still far too high in the UK.

    For an individual to come on to an open forum and state a personal history of mental health problems, is brave and also indicative of an increasing acceptance of a very prevalent issue and an increasing acceptance that mental health problems are common place.

    Now, if you do not wish to publicly share your own personal experience/experiences, then that is your choice but if someone wants to do it in this way, then that is their choice too.

    When an individual adopts a position of distancing themselves or claiming that they are immune to such conditions, including the arrogant assumption that they are too mentally strong to ever suffer from a weak, over sensitive (un-manly?), mental health problem, they are very much in the spectrum of displaying symptoms of... a mental health disorder.

    "He who doth protest too much"

    Once again nice to see,hear speak and feel.

    Through history many with powers or being of difference deviation and anomaly have been seen sounded heard and felt in a way that does not fit in to the 'normal' way,whatever the f that is here.
  • chris_bass
    chris_bass Posts: 4,913
    If anyone thought theyd get through life without being physically ill or injured you'd probably not believe them. I see it the same way with mental health. Some times it'll be treatable other times not but you should be able to get to a place where it is manageable. I need to get to a managable place, currently I feel as though my mental issues control me rather than me controlling them. It sounds cliche but admitting that to yourself is the first step and speaking openely is nthe next step.

    If you don't feel confident airing things publicly that's completely fine and understandable but try and find someone or somewhere who/where you can do this.

    As for other people's behavior being the catalyst or cause of sone people's mental problems (this isn't the the case for me) do people think if you are brought up correctly you'll more liekly turn out as a "good" person or positive role models in your life can affect you positively then why can't the opposite also be true? If you are abused as a child I fail to see how this wouldn't affect you later in life. That's not to say you'll end up doing the same or having mental health problems but it can't help.

    Sorry a bit of a ramble for Saturday morning!!
    www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes