The Lanterne Rouge Thread 2018 **Spoilers**
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I can't remember that many Lanternes, and the only one I can think of who I think may have lead the Tour is Jacky Durand.DeadCalm wrote:
So I did actually research this. Yes, I am that sad. As far as I can tell, there are several Lanternes Rouges who have won stages in the Tour, two* who have even worn the yellow jersey at some point during their careers, but none who have ever actually worn yellow into Paris.DeadCalm wrote:A trivia question to which I don't know the answer.
Poor old Geraint is currently sitting in last place in this competition. Obviously a bitter disappointment to a rider who showed so much promise in his first Tour in 2007 when he came a close second to the indomitable Wim Vansevenant. Has any rider ever known the joy of carrying the Lanterne Rouge into Paris, and subsequently faced the ignominy of riding into Paris in yellow?
*proper kudos to anyone who can name either one of them without resorting to google or PCS.
Another bit of trivia - Lawson Craddock is the first person ever to lead the Lanterne Rouge from first to last stage.Twitter: @RichN950 -
RichN95 wrote:Lawson Craddock is the first person ever to lead the Lanterne Rouge from first to last stage.
All hail Captain Craddock! That is what I call dedication with a sprinkling of panache.
Chapeau that man!Correlation is not causation.0 -
PTB - the Post Tour Blues.
I used to get the post tour blues but then I grew up. I learnt to love the Giro and the Vuelta. Namely because they never contained that large Spaniard called Mig, bar the 'interesting' period between him and that Texan but mainly because they are more entertaining - they are, after all, proper bicycle races.The years rolled by and the suffering, the deep depression instead, used to hit me sometime after Il Lombardia*.
Alas, now I feel an even deeper blue funk creeping in as I find myself returning to the PTB. Now I have to face the double deep blue funk; one now and after brief respite sometime in mid October.**. 'And it is all underlay x 2's fault.
He's brought a richness to Le Grand Boucle using a multi layered cacophony of words, asterisks, foot note's, extracts from classic historians, unforgettable literature and a world class standard of journalism that would have, without him, been long forgotten and in a place somewhere sadly gathering dust in the attic of an untapped (unfathomable) mind.
So I wave metaphorically good bye to the Lanterne Rouge thread for a very long, arduous 49 weeks*** and reach for a cocktail of prescription and non prescription drugs to counter the effects of the Post Tour Blues
So I both thank you and curse you simultaneously Underlayunderlay, (you b4stard).
Here endeth my discourse. Mainly because I may enter (inadvertently) into a very insidious dark place where more rambling may lead to 4 asterisks. 4 Asterisks is the point of no return because that is a point that carries the threat of something terrible and dark involving an inhaler and an unknown quantity of Belgian beer.
From Pinno's late night rambles.(*1).
*Unless the Worlds look like it isn't going to end up in a bunch finish.
**Unless the Worlds look like it isn't going to end up in a bunch finish.
***This is only an estimation using the standard Gregorian calendar and will be slightly different from a Roman solar calender.
(*1) Available from all good book sellers.seanoconn - gruagach craic!0 -
Mega kudos well earned. Jacky Durand is one. The other was Joseph Groussard, a rider I'd never heard of previously.RichN95 wrote:
I can't remember that many Lanternes, and the only one I can think of who I think may have lead the Tour is Jacky Durand.DeadCalm wrote:
So I did actually research this. Yes, I am that sad. As far as I can tell, there are several Lanternes Rouges who have won stages in the Tour, two* who have even worn the yellow jersey at some point during their careers, but none who have ever actually worn yellow into Paris.DeadCalm wrote:A trivia question to which I don't know the answer.
Poor old Geraint is currently sitting in last place in this competition. Obviously a bitter disappointment to a rider who showed so much promise in his first Tour in 2007 when he came a close second to the indomitable Wim Vansevenant. Has any rider ever known the joy of carrying the Lanterne Rouge into Paris, and subsequently faced the ignominy of riding into Paris in yellow?
*proper kudos to anyone who can name either one of them without resorting to google or PCS.
Another bit of trivia - Lawson Craddock is the first person ever to lead the Lanterne Rouge from first to last stage.
That fact about Craddock being the only LR to lead from start to finish is apparently most likely true but maybe cannot be absolutely confirmed. I took a look on PCS and there are gaps in the records which make it hard to do.0 -
orraloon wrote:
It's not so bad Pinno, Le Tour 2019 starts 29th June so only 48 weeks or thereabouts.Pinno wrote:So I wave metaphorically good bye to the Lanterne Rouge thread for a very long, arduous 49 weeks
I told you it was only an approximation. I wish you would bloody listen. Now sod off and leave me to my depression. I don't need any assistance.seanoconn - gruagach craic!0 -
Pinno wrote:foot note's
As if the asterisk abuse wasn't bad enough, you had to have a go at the apostrophes as well?
You'd best crack open your chain lube...
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I think the French would object to that use of the object and I would have to agree with them.seanoconn - gruagach craic!0
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According to the team, Craddock raised $195k for his local velodrome in Houston. He was contibuting $100 for every stage he completed and asked supporters to match his donation - he must have a lot of fans!
“Without the fundraiser, I probably would have gone home a couple of weeks ago,” said Craddock. “Especially in the days immediately after the crash and in the recovery process, I drew a lot of motivation from the campaign. It’s going to change the future of the track.”0 -
The GoFundMe is actually up to $225k now since last night - https://www.gofundme.com/lc039s-fight-for-paris0
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Of course he has. He's just dominated the most prestigious competition in cycling. Although, of course, this recent stranglehold on the Lanterne Rouge by riders from English speaking nations is starting to provoke resentment in the more traditional cycling heartlands.bobmcstuff wrote:According to the team, Craddock raised $195k for his local velodrome in Houston. He was contibuting $100 for every stage he completed and asked supporters to match his donation - he must have a lot of fans!
“Without the fundraiser, I probably would have gone home a couple of weeks ago,” said Craddock. “Especially in the days immediately after the crash and in the recovery process, I drew a lot of motivation from the campaign. It’s going to change the future of the track.”0 -
bobmcstuff wrote:According to the team, Craddock raised $195k for his local velodrome in Houston. He was contibuting $100 for every stage he completed and asked supporters to match his donation - he must have a lot of fans!
“Without the fundraiser, I probably would have gone home a couple of weeks ago,” said Craddock. “Especially in the days immediately after the crash and in the recovery process, I drew a lot of motivation from the campaign. It’s going to change the future of the track.”
That's blooming marvellous! All the best bits of sport in one story.Correlation is not causation.0 -
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DeadCalm wrote:
Education First got literally nothing out of the Tour but the Lanterne.
But they've had more column inches and social media likes (or whatever metric is used) than anyone bar Sky, I reckon.
If I were a DS I'd be looking at my novice riders on the first stage and eyeing up which to push off his bike when he came for a bottle.Warning No formatter is installed for the format0 -
No tA Doctor wrote:If I were a DS I'd be looking at my novice riders on the first stage and eyeing up which to push off his bike when he came for a bottle.
That could go very wrong.seanoconn - gruagach craic!0 -
Pinno wrote:No tA Doctor wrote:If I were a DS I'd be looking at my novice riders on the first stage and eyeing up which to push off his bike when he came for a bottle.
That could go very wrong.
I'd tell him first. Probably. And I wouldn't do it unless it was a grass verge, I'm not going to shove him into a road sign on a concrete pavement at 60kmph. I'd also exaggerate any injury to the media.
But you're right, it could go badly wrong if I was spotted doing it.Warning No formatter is installed for the format0 -
You could just sabotage his kit so that he kept getting rear wheel punctures on a flat stage. Probably safer.0
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bobmcstuff wrote:You could just sabotage his kit so that he kept getting rear wheel punctures on a flat stage. Probably safer.
No, you need a heroic narrative to milk the sympathy in column inches. The lanterne doesn't generate bucketloads of coverages unless you can show an X-Ray with a little fracture in it. A bit of blood at some point also helps.
I know it's unconventional, but I like thinking when I'm out of my box*.
*That's the phrase, isn't it?Warning No formatter is installed for the format0 -
No tA Doctor wrote:bobmcstuff wrote:You could just sabotage his kit so that he kept getting rear wheel punctures on a flat stage. Probably safer.
No, you need a heroic narrative to milk the sympathy in column inches. The lanterne doesn't generate bucketloads of coverages unless you can show an X-Ray with a little fracture in it. A bit of blood at some point also helps.
I know it's unconventional, but I like thinking when I'm out of my box*.
*That's the phrase, isn't it?
Essentially, yes.
"heroic narrative", "milk the sympathy", "column inches"..."bucketloads of coverages"... With Game of Thrones closing up shop sometime soon, Vaughters should be able to commandeer one of their scriptwriters.
If he wants to tighten his grip on the LR, he'll need to flip the script for next year, lest he's accused of the predictability levelled at the other end of the GC standings.
I see him maybe following more of a psychological thriller/Scandi/Noir direction... As his lone rider (I'm casting P. Rolland for this) battles the hills and mountains in a neck brace, Vaughters pipes audio of the distant screams of terrified children from the team car. Even on sunny days, the footage seems flatter and devoid of colour. The Voiture Balai's radiator grill has occasional flash frames of ferocious dogs. Through the race radio, Rolland randomly hears the audio of the Tour's worst crashes along with Vaughters' voice slowed up - telling him to carry on, he's doing great... stuff like that.0 -
Then he could go back to full gore the year after.0
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No tA Doctor wrote:bobmcstuff wrote:You could just sabotage his kit so that he kept getting rear wheel punctures on a flat stage. Probably safer.
No, you need a heroic narrative to milk the sympathy in column inches. The lanterne doesn't generate bucketloads of coverages unless you can show an X-Ray with a little fracture in it. A bit of blood at some point also helps.
I know it's unconventional, but I like thinking when I'm out of my box*.
*That's the phrase, isn't it?
Maybe like this then https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloodgate
Getting X-rays with fractures on can't be hard.0 -
OCDuPalais wrote:No tA Doctor wrote:bobmcstuff wrote:You could just sabotage his kit so that he kept getting rear wheel punctures on a flat stage. Probably safer.
No, you need a heroic narrative to milk the sympathy in column inches. The lanterne doesn't generate bucketloads of coverages unless you can show an X-Ray with a little fracture in it. A bit of blood at some point also helps.
I know it's unconventional, but I like thinking when I'm out of my box*.
*That's the phrase, isn't it?
Essentially, yes.
"heroic narrative", "milk the sympathy", "column inches"..."bucketloads of coverages"... With Game of Thrones closing up shop sometime soon, Vaughters should be able to commandeer one of their scriptwriters.
If he wants to tighten his grip on the LR, he'll need to flip the script for next year, lest he's accused of the predictability levelled at the other end of the GC standings.
I see him maybe following more of a psychological thriller/Scandi/Noir direction... As his lone rider (I'm casting P. Rolland for this) battles the hills and mountains in a neck brace, Vaughters pipes audio of the distant screams of terrified children from the team car. Even on sunny days, the footage seems flatter and devoid of colour. The Voiture Balai's radiator grill has occasional flash frames of ferocious dogs. Through the race radio, Rolland randomly hears the audio of the Tour's worst crashes along with Vaughters' voice slowed up - telling him to carry on, he's doing great... stuff like that.
I'd be a bit worried that all my favourite cyclists would end up dead, tbh.Warning No formatter is installed for the format0 -
No tA Doctor wrote:OCDuPalais wrote:
"heroic narrative", "milk the sympathy", "column inches"..."bucketloads of coverages"... With Game of Thrones closing up shop sometime soon, Vaughters should be able to commandeer one of their scriptwriters.
I'd be a bit worried that all my favourite cyclists would end up dead, tbh.
Jon Snow stalked across the chamber. Some lunatic building a giant wall across the country to keep out a vague, unspecified threat that haunted the dreams of his voter base? Dragons in Slough? Bloody professional cyclists? The quality of stories on Channel Four News was definitely going down the toilet. He shuddered at the thought of the producers' latest wheeze - it was disgusting how keen Krishnan Guru-Murthy was to don the proffered nipple tassles.
"Sex sells," he'd been told, and that was all the explanation he was going to get. Still, at least they weren't yet desperate enough to make their bid for power and glory by booking a Lanterne Rouge contender from 2017.
"Jon! Good news! Jaco Venter is coming!"0 -
underlayunderlay wrote:..."Sex sells," ...
Now there's a thought: an inconvenient/convenient slightly revealing tear in a pair of post crash bibs?
That will introduce an entirely different audience but would have to be a one off, for one stage*.
(Notadoctor would have to come up with an even more cunning plan**.
Well, they do say there's no such thing as bad publicity.
*Unless there will be multiple crashes
**'Plan' in the singular, unless the above is orchestrated.seanoconn - gruagach craic!0 -
For anyone still suffering withdrawal symptoms, Craddock's been interviewed again: http://www.espn.com/olympics/story/_/id/24644057/lawson-craddock-finished-last-tour-de-france-found-way-make-positive
"It's changed the landscape of cycling in Texas forever."
Having someone win the biggest race in the world does that, Lawson. Just imagine what'd happen in the UK if we finally produced a cyclist of that calibre. It wouldn't have been safe to drink in Cardiff on a Saturday night for weeks if Thomas had won the LR...0 -
Someone from Cardiff won the Lanterne Rouge last year. How quick you forget.underlayunderlay wrote:It wouldn't have been safe to drink in Cardiff on a Saturday night for weeks if Thomas had won the LR...Twitter: @RichN950 -
RichN95 wrote:
Someone from Cardiff won the Lanterne Rouge last year. How quick you forget.underlayunderlay wrote:It wouldn't have been safe to drink in Cardiff on a Saturday night for weeks if Thomas had won the LR...
TBF, this was more a joke at the expense of Cardiff on a Saturday night. Once and never again...0 -
underlayunderlay wrote:RichN95 wrote:
Someone from Cardiff won the Lanterne Rouge last year. How quick you forget.underlayunderlay wrote:It wouldn't have been safe to drink in Cardiff on a Saturday night for weeks if Thomas had won the LR...
TBF, this was more a joke at the expense of Cardiff on a Saturday night. Once and never again...
Really? Cardiff is sophisticated in comparison to Swansea or Newport!0 -
underlayunderlay wrote:For anyone still suffering withdrawal symptoms, Craddock's been interviewed again: http://www.espn.com/olympics/story/_/id/24644057/lawson-craddock-finished-last-tour-de-france-found-way-make-positive
"It's changed the landscape of cycling in Texas forever."
Having someone win the biggest race in the world does that, Lawson. Just imagine what'd happen in the UK if we finally produced a cyclist of that calibre. It wouldn't have been safe to drink in Cardiff on a Saturday night for weeks if Thomas had won the LR...
To be fair, I've checked the record books and no Texan cyclist has ever won anything, even a stage, at the Tour so he may have a case
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