Carlton Kirby drinking game

24

Comments

  • bobmcstuff
    bobmcstuff Posts: 11,444
    "apropos of nothing at all"
  • blazing_saddles
    blazing_saddles Posts: 22,730
    "Embedded within" is very popular today.
    We have also had: "Buying the right to fight" and "Rolling with the punches"....
    "Science is a tool for cheaters". An anonymous French PE teacher.
  • m.r.m.
    m.r.m. Posts: 3,486
    Volta a Catalunya Stage 2. Valverde padding his palmares again and Kirby being his irritating, obnoxious self again.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx8xnSLl1Fo
    PTP Champion 2019, 2022 & 2023
  • RichN95.
    RichN95. Posts: 27,262
    I think the phrase he uses that annoys me the most is "chosen son"
    Twitter: @RichN95
  • Frank Wilson
    Frank Wilson Posts: 930
    M.R.M. wrote:
    Volta a Catalunya Stage 2. Valverde padding his palmares again and Kirby being his irritating, obnoxious self again.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx8xnSLl1Fo

    I am surprised we don't have a thread on the Catalunya race as people may have "invested in it" and "bought the right to fight"
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,660
    If I had the time and energy I would compile a list of things he's been talking about that are nothing to do with anything on screen, not even tangentially, while actual racing was going on.

    Eventually, send it to Eurosport, coupled with what was actually going on at that point of the race.
    _
  • poweredbyidris
    poweredbyidris Posts: 848
    Oh god, the imagined conversations between riders

    Although, tbf, I'm also imagining whomever his co-commentator is rolling their eyes at every single ham-fisted segue
  • sherer
    sherer Posts: 2,460
    can we also take a drink every time he laughs at one of his own jokes ?
  • timoid.
    timoid. Posts: 3,133
    No mention of "The Chargers"?

    Definitely a finish your drink statement.

    It feels like someone scratching nails on a blackboard. Every. Single. Time.
    It's a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired. You quit when the gorilla is tired.
  • poweredbyidris
    poweredbyidris Posts: 848
    The 'FOR GOODNESS SAKE' always seems to have exactly the same intonation as a cabbie explaining how immigration is the cause of all the UK's ills as well.
  • milton50
    milton50 Posts: 3,856
    sherer wrote:
    can we also take a drink every time he laughs at one of his own jokes ?

    Yeh, that annoys me too. He really is a real-life David Brent.
  • epc06
    epc06 Posts: 216
    fairly sure yesterday he amused himself after referring to someone having a 'big dig' ?
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 28,228
    Blazing Saddles wrote:
    "Embedded within" is very popular today.
    We have also had: "Buying the right to fight" and "Rolling with the punches"....

    Just switched it on, and "rolling with the punches" within a minute.
  • m.r.m.
    m.r.m. Posts: 3,486
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    If I had the time and energy I would compile a list of things he's been talking about that are nothing to do with anything on screen, not even tangentially, while actual racing was going on.

    Eventually, send it to Eurosport, coupled with what was actually going on at that point of the race.
    I was thinking whether it makes sense to start a petition to have Eurosport replace him. But then I felt it's probably immoral since it's his employment after all, and while I utterly hate him, I don't know if I would want anyone to lose their job over something silly like this.
    PTP Champion 2019, 2022 & 2023
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,660
    Yeah.

    Part of me does feel bad for being so publically negative about a guy who's doing what he's paid to do. And without the balls to do it with my own name too!

    But then again, I'm Eurosport's customer's customer, he's part of the product and it puts me off watching it.
    _
  • poweredbyidris
    poweredbyidris Posts: 848
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    Yeah.

    Part of me does feel bad for being so publically negative about a guy who's doing what he's paid to do. And without the balls to do it with my own name too!

    But then again, I'm Eurosport's customer's customer, he's part of the product and it puts me off watching it.

    Well I imagine the race they pay most for is the TdF, and if everyone in the UK turns over to ITV then Eurosport will need to do something
  • milton50
    milton50 Posts: 3,856
    I feel sorry for the guy because he's obviously really passionate about cycling but he shouldn't be anywhere near the commentary box.
  • bobmcstuff
    bobmcstuff Posts: 11,444
    Milton50 wrote:
    I feel sorry for the guy because he's obviously really passionate about cycling but he shouldn't be anywhere near the commentary box.
    I'm not so sure he Is, he was spouting the same verbal diahorrea over speed skating in the winter Olympics too. I think they just put him in front of the tv and press play.
  • bobmcstuff
    bobmcstuff Posts: 11,444
    PoweredByIdris wrote:
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    Yeah.

    Part of me does feel bad for being so publically negative about a guy who's doing what he's paid to do. And without the balls to do it with my own name too!

    But then again, I'm Eurosport's customer's customer, he's part of the product and it puts me off watching it.

    Well I imagine the race they pay most for is the TdF, and if everyone in the UK turns over to ITV then Eurosport will need to do something

    That's what I did last year.

    Although I did venture onto Twitter at one point to find people who actually seem to like his commentary?!? Despite when I pointed out how he only knows about 3 riders names, and can't identify them for toffee. Didn't mention the fact he talk b*llocks all the time as they seemed to like that. I guess some people are just mentally challenged.
  • bobmcstuff
    bobmcstuff Posts: 11,444
    Just watching Catalunya highlights - another thing he does is never believe the advertised time gaps.
  • m.r.m.
    m.r.m. Posts: 3,486
    The casual fan will always enjoy the likes of Kirby for a while due to his faux enthusiasm and hysterical shouting towards the end. It just gets old very, very fast.
    PTP Champion 2019, 2022 & 2023
  • ocdupalais
    ocdupalais Posts: 4,317
    M.R.M. wrote:
    The casual fan will always enjoy the likes of Kirby for a while due to his faux enthusiasm and hysterical shouting towards the end. It just gets old very, very fast.

    Much like children will always enjoy the likes of a hysterical dad, full of shouty faux enthusiasm... to start with. They see through him very quickly. It’s worse still when it’s YOUR daddy..

    On Eurosport, Kirby is YOUR daddy and MY daddy... and there’s nothing Childline can do about it.
  • takethehighroad
    takethehighroad Posts: 6,823
    bobmcstuff wrote:
    Just watching Catalunya highlights - another thing he does is never believe the advertised time gaps.

    ...or the distance to go ticker

    "Obviously we've been given duff information there" as it's 4.3 km to go instead of 4.5 as he was expecting
  • m.r.m.
    m.r.m. Posts: 3,486
    OCDuPalais wrote:
    On Eurosport, Kirby is YOUR daddy and MY daddy...
    e31.jpg:mrgreen:
    PTP Champion 2019, 2022 & 2023
  • joelsim
    joelsim Posts: 7,552
    Deramping

    Bertie

    At least he can't say Bora Aragon anymore.
  • ratsbeyfus
    ratsbeyfus Posts: 2,841
    Kirby seems to channel Farage when he complains about the host broadcaster's pictures not showing the bit of the race he wants. Grrrr

    I had one of them red bikes but I don't any more. Sad face.

    @ratsbey
  • blazing_saddles
    blazing_saddles Posts: 22,730
    Epic opening to today's coverage.
    "What a day we have had, to all that have missed it."

    Errr, that's everybody Carlton.
    "Science is a tool for cheaters". An anonymous French PE teacher.
  • Frank Wilson
    Frank Wilson Posts: 930
    What about Dan Martin on a day like today.

    Could this be a day for Dan Martin.

    The terrain suits Dan Martin.

    Dan Martin.

    Dan Martin

    Dan Martin
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,599
    I reckon he'd get a perverse pleasure out of reading this thread and see it as a sign of his popularity that people are talking about him!
  • bobbydazzla
    bobbydazzla Posts: 289
    Count how many times he says "as you can see".

    Do it.

    Actually note it down using tally marks.

    Add up how many times he says it during a 1 hr highlights show.

    If you've got a very large piece of paper try and note it down in tally marks for a 3 hr live broadcast.

    Think about the fact it's a pointless statement - of course we can see, we're watching telly.

    His overuse of that phrase alone should be enough to end his commentary career.

    But this is the tip of the iceberg, he also spouts utter drivel for most of his time on air.

    Think about the fact he actually gets paid to spout this drivel.

    He is the worst sports commentator I've ever heard.

    That's a fact.

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