Carlton Kirby drinking game

RichN95.
RichN95. Posts: 27,253
edited April 2018 in Pro race
Let's try and devise a Carlton Kirby drinking game

I'll propose a couple of rules to start.

Turbo Durbo - take a drink
G - take a drink
Defends Sky - take drink
Dan Martin is 'in the house' - two drinks
Anyone else is 'in the house' - drink
Tipping Simon Clarke to win - finish your drink.
Twitter: @RichN95
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Comments

  • m.r.m.
    m.r.m. Posts: 3,473
    Half the forum dead before the Giro. :lol:
    PTP Champion 2019, 2022 & 2023
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    “There you go”

    Chat about perfectly fine tarmac and how difficult the surface is.

    Gets corrected by co-commentator.

    Misses an attack.

    Calls someone moving up in the group an attack.
    _
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,462
    I like to drink responsibly and listening to Carlton is bad for your health.
  • milton50
    milton50 Posts: 3,856
    After a few seconds of silence he seems to always come up with:

    "So, then, time to go....but where?"

    Which is completely meaningless but he delivers it like it's incredibly poignant.

    That's the mother load for me. You should down a pint.
  • Flâneur
    Flâneur Posts: 3,081
    Fire from work by mid afternoon
    Stevo 666 wrote: Come on you Scousers! 20/12/2014
    Crudder
    CX
    Toy
  • poweredbyidris
    poweredbyidris Posts: 848
    'Citadel' seems to be the featured on his word-of-the-day-toiletpaper recently.

    Any town / village / hamlet / post office on top of a slight rise is proclaimed as such
  • okgo
    okgo Posts: 4,368
    "take it up right now"
    Blog on my first and now second season of proper riding/racing - www.firstseasonracing.com
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 28,119
    Mention of the barriers on a corner being dangerous.
  • graeme_s-2
    graeme_s-2 Posts: 3,382
    Segues from one nonsense statement into another that's barely related in a stream of utter drivel. Take a drink for every segue.
  • jimmythecuckoo
    jimmythecuckoo Posts: 4,718
    Can I have "Gnarly" and "xxx has invested in the chase" please?
    http://fendrieneu.home.blog
    My blog and pod...
    Beers of Belgium Cycling Club UK
  • bobmcstuff
    bobmcstuff Posts: 11,435
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    “There you go”

    Chat about perfectly fine tarmac and how difficult the surface is.

    Gets corrected by co-commentator.

    Misses an attack.

    Calls someone moving up in the group an attack.

    Whenever a rider appears, always blindly assume they are the one rider from a team who's name he knows. And then insisting on keeping up with it despite correction from co-commentator.
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,462
    Ranting about motorbikes getting too close. Despite working in TV he doesn’t understand the concept of a zoom lens.
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,462
    One sip for every rider he tips as a possible winner. Two sips when he suggest that if so and so was riding it would be a day for them.
  • Frank Wilson
    Frank Wilson Posts: 930
    Other ......... are available (snigger snigger) must be worth a drink.


    Having a go at people filming the action on their phone / device may be worth a full pint.


    Harping on about Spanish Olive Oil
  • gweeds
    gweeds Posts: 2,613
    "Time to dig in"
    Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
  • bobmcstuff
    bobmcstuff Posts: 11,435
    Frank Wilson wrote:
    Other ......... are available (snigger snigger) must be worth a drink.

    Oh god I'm having flashbacks already
  • sherer
    sherer Posts: 2,460
    don't forget to add in

    Dust Up
    ride xxx is going for a long one.. when they aren't even attacking
  • bobbydazzla
    bobbydazzla Posts: 289
    "As you can see" must be his most repeated phrase. It's relentless.

    Followed by his instance on repeating the distance to go every hundred metres.

    Drink up on those and you'll be on your way to The Priory clinic faster than you can say "Kirby is a buffoon and an appalling commentator who ruins cycling TV coverage"
  • jimmythecuckoo
    jimmythecuckoo Posts: 4,718
    If you threw in every time Rob Hatch rolled an "R" (e.g. Gorka Isaguirre) then you would be mullered !!

    (I love Rob btw!)
    http://fendrieneu.home.blog
    My blog and pod...
    Beers of Belgium Cycling Club UK
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    jimmythecuckoo wrote:
    If you threw in every time Rob Hatch rolled an "R" (e.g. Gorka Isaguirre) then you would be mullered !!

    (I love Rob btw!)

    It's a good filter. The kind of nobbers who you don't want to be associated with are the kind who get upset at correct pronunciation, so it's a win all round.
    _
  • blazing_saddles
    blazing_saddles Posts: 22,725
    I was about to post about his new favourite rider: friggin' 'Lennie' Kamna while watching the TTT and what do you know?
    He's just said he's "waiting on friggin 'Lennie' Kamna." "Here's Lennie!" :lol:
    "Science is a tool for cheaters". An anonymous French PE teacher.
  • ShutupJens
    ShutupJens Posts: 1,373
    Any time he makes up a conversation between two riders or tries to tell you what someone is thinking
  • dish_dash
    dish_dash Posts: 5,647
    Mr Bo Jangels... Bob Jungels...
  • argyllflyer
    argyllflyer Posts: 893
    have we not lost a number of posts from this thread...?
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,462
    argyllflyer wrote:
    have we not lost a number of posts from this thread...?

    The site is having yet another meltdown. The Froome thread had gone to 100 pages and is back at 99, I was looking at a 5 page thread yesterday and went to go from page 4 to 5 only to find it had gone to 3 page tabs and I have to keep logging back in. Maybe we've been to critical of the Russians!
  • sherer
    sherer Posts: 2,460
    yeah the Milan-San Remo PTP thread keeps disappearing as well. If I don't win that this year this could be why
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 28,119
    argyllflyer wrote:
    have we not lost a number of posts from this thread...?

    Yes, probably a good thing. I was getting flashbacks.
  • squired
    squired Posts: 1,153
    One of his favourite words, particularly in the latter stages of a race, is "brave".
  • argyllflyer
    argyllflyer Posts: 893
    KingstonGraham wrote:
    argyllflyer wrote:
    have we not lost a number of posts from this thread...?

    Yes, probably a good thing. I was getting flashbacks.

    We lost:

    "unzipped and ready for action"

    so I will add it once more...!
  • mtb-idle
    mtb-idle Posts: 2,179
    another favourite is starting sentences with 'I have to tell you' usually after coming back from an ad-break e.g. "Welcome back and I have to tell you that the breakaway has been caught..."

    no, you don't have to tell us anything.

    a shot...
    FCN = 4

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