I will look for you, I will find you, and...

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Comments

  • ballysmate
    ballysmate Posts: 16,017
    PBlakeney wrote:
    Frank Wilson wrote:
    Bum his/her mum/dad
    FTFY

    FTFTFY
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,829
    bendertherobot wrote:
    Take off and nuke him/her from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
    Finally...
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • milemuncher1
    milemuncher1 Posts: 1,472
    Hammer frozen sausages into his / her lawn.
  • pblakeney
    pblakeney Posts: 27,529
    Ballysmate wrote:
    PBlakeney wrote:
    Frank Wilson wrote:
    Bum his/her mum and dad
    FTFY

    FTFTFY
    FTFTFTFY
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • bendertherobot
    bendertherobot Posts: 11,684
    rjsterry wrote:
    bendertherobot wrote:
    Take off and nuke him/her from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
    Finally...

    I know. Poor isn't it?
    My blog: http://www.roubaixcycling.cc (kit reviews and other musings)
    https://twitter.com/roubaixcc
    Facebook? No. Just say no.
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    build a huge laser, send it into space and use it to slice really small yet painful chunks off him/her when he/she is least expecting it.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • bendertherobot
    bendertherobot Posts: 11,684
    Matthewfalle wrote:
    build a huge laser, send it into space and use it to slice really small yet painful chunks off him/her when he/she is least expecting it.

    tumblr_n3xk7tHjlv1s2wio8o5_500.gif
    My blog: http://www.roubaixcycling.cc (kit reviews and other musings)
    https://twitter.com/roubaixcc
    Facebook? No. Just say no.
  • Alex99
    Alex99 Posts: 1,407
    Milemuncher1 wrote:
    Hammer frozen sausages into his / her lawn.

    They'll think that their meat worms have some kind of meat worm plague.
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    Pliers, blow torch, ball peen hammer, testicles.

    Job jobbed.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • pblakeney
    pblakeney Posts: 27,529
    Matthewfalle wrote:
    Pliers, blow torch, ball peen hammer, testicles.

    Job jobbed.
    Obviously the right tool for the job.
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • crescent
    crescent Posts: 1,201
    Break into his house, paint all his light bulbs black so that when he switches his lights on the room actually gets darker. He will be plunged into a world of eternal darkness and will probably never leave the house again. Or will be late for work the next day.


    I think Paul Whitehouse/Harry Enfield might have been the source for this gem.
    Bianchi ImpulsoBMC Teammachine SLR02 01Trek Domane AL3“When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. “ ~H.G. Wells Edit - "Unless it's a BMX"
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    Crescent wrote:
    Break into his house, paint all his light bulbs black so that when he switches his lights on the room actually gets darker. He will be plunged into a world of eternal darkness and will probably never leave the house again. Or will be late for work the next day.


    I think Paul Whitehouse/Harry Enfield might have been the source for this gem.

    Too much work required.

    Just steal all his light bulbs and all the fuses from his appliances.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • tangled_metal
    tangled_metal Posts: 4,021
    Just steal all his appliances, sell them and with the money made employ someone to torch his car at his work, then beat him up as he walks to the bus stop to get home in a very wet autumn day. So when he wakes up on hospital he's also got a bad cold/flu/pneumonia to worry about too.
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    Steal all his shoelaces, tie them into a big net and then hide the net under a pile of leaves outside his front door so when he walks on it it pounces up and leaves him hanging there.

    Then beat the fukkkk out of him with pick elfs.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • RallyBiker
    RallyBiker Posts: 378
    Matthewfalle wrote:
    Get a Roman catapult fling huuuuuuge boulders at his house whilst he is alsleep.

    Get a Roman catapult fling his car at his house whilst he is asleep
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    RallyBiker wrote:
    Matthewfalle wrote:
    Get a Roman catapult fling huuuuuuge boulders at his house whilst he is alsleep.

    Get a Roman catapult fling his car at his house whilst he is asleep

    Get a Roman catapult and fling him at his house.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Captain Fagor
    Captain Fagor Posts: 739
    Shortfall wrote:
    Next time you see it parked up use a rubber glove to work some dogsh1t under the door handles.

    Love this idea, but the trouble is that nowadays you'd have to go looking for some dogsh1t first. Yes, you can find one of those dog walker bins, but do you really want to be seen elbow deep in one wearing a rubber glove?

    FWIW, my cycling assault story involves hearing an oddly driven van coming from behind, and turning round to see a guy deliberately steer toward me and nearly ram me off my bike in my own street. I thought "I'm not having that!" and chased after him, going up the gears. I caught him getting out of his van about half a mile later with his wife and kids and immediately regretted giving him some verbal as he came straight for me looking hell bent on violence. I couldn't get my big ring gear turning fast enough to get away. Cue being pushed to the ground and given a kicking.

    Whilst said kicking was being dished out, I saw a neighbour drive by, and he alerted some pals who lived on the same street. They were on the scene in minutes, and I said the guy had driven off, when actually we were standing outside his house. My plan was always to go down the "revenge is a dish best eaten cold" route. That was 25 years ago and I don't even know if the guy still lives there!

    The moral of the story? The fact that this still annoys me makes me think act while you can. Regret the things you did do, not the things you didn't. FWIW, I did find out the guy was a waiter at an Indian restaurant and drove a black 3 series BMW too. I had some nitromors in mind, but never did pull the trigger. Oh well....
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    Captain Fagor wrote:
    Shortfall wrote:
    Next time you see it parked up use a rubber glove to work some dogsh1t under the door handles.

    Love this idea, but the trouble is that nowadays you'd have to go looking for some dogsh1t first. Yes, you can find one of those dog walker bins, but do you really want to be seen elbow deep in one wearing a rubber glove?

    FWIW, my cycling assault story involves hearing an oddly driven van coming from behind, and turning round to see a guy deliberately steer toward me and nearly ram me off my bike in my own street. I thought "I'm not having that!" and chased after him, going up the gears. I caught him getting out of his van about half a mile later with his wife and kids and immediately regretted giving him some verbal as he came straight for me looking hell bent on violence. I couldn't get my big ring gear turning fast enough to get away. Cue being pushed to the ground and given a kicking.

    Whilst said kicking was being dished out, I saw a neighbour drive by, and he alerted some pals who lived on the same street. They were on the scene in minutes, and I said the guy had driven off, when actually we were standing outside his house. My plan was always to go down the "revenge is a dish best eaten cold" route. That was 25 years ago and I don't even know if the guy still lives there!

    The moral of the story? The fact that this still annoys me makes me think act while you can. Regret the things you did do, not the things you didn't. FWIW, I did find out the guy was a waiter at an Indian restaurant and drove a black 3 series BMW too. I had some nitromors in mind, but never did pull the trigger. Oh well....

    Have you grown any yet?
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Vino'sGhost
    Vino'sGhost Posts: 4,129
    just apologise to him if you see him. Aggressive attitudes dont help, hell grow up one day and realise hes a nob. No point making him criss, he might not like it

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