I will look for you, I will find you, and...

24

Comments

  • slowbike
    slowbike Posts: 8,498
    Reporting to the police usually results in ..... nothing ... they tend not to be interested unless you've been injured. You might be lucky and get a sympathetic one who is willing to follow up with "a little chat" - but that doesn't seem to happen often.

    as for retribution ...
    [sensible head on]
    Don't do anything that may be construed as criminal damage - oil, keying, puncture tyres - it's all a bit ... well - you're just going to get the driver angrier - he'll blame someone - possibly "cyclists" and the close pass will be closer next time. (although I liked the dog poo & drawing pin idea - you'd have to wait and watch to make it really worth while!)

    so what should you do?
    Difficult - because anything you do do could just wind the driver up more - even something simple like putting a note under his windscreen wiper with guidance on how to overtake safely is unlikely to have a positive effect.

    The only thing I've been tempted to do was when a driver stopped and confronted a group of riders - it was tempting to remove his car keys and hand them in at the nearest police station - the driver can then explain to the nice officer why they were taken in the first place - but even that doesn't have guarenteed results.
  • tangled_metal
    tangled_metal Posts: 4,021
    If you take his keys could that be theft?

    No action other than reporting to the police is my advice. Seriously antagonizing him won't help. Reporting him might or might not help but at least you feel like you're doing something third option is not to do anything other than avoid him if you see him.

    95%/5% rule. Why let the 5% of your life rule the 95%?
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,882
    mamba80 wrote:
    Why the xxxx didnt you reported him? you had a witness!!!
    Because the only bit of the number we could remember was the 666.
    Slowbike wrote:
    - it was tempting to remove his car keys ...
    A friend of mine once did that, the driver wrestled his arm as he was removing the keys which resulted in the key breaking in the ignition. Fortunately the driver didn't realise immediately, my friend just lobbed the keys a short way from the car and left sharpish. The driver had passed him and then cut across him to stop and drop his mother off at a launderette, my mate went to have a word with the driver as the mother was getting out the driver had a go back and eventually told him to "f@ck off!" so he went for the keys. I'm sure the lad would have had fun explaining to his mother when she got back to the car.
    Kinesis Pro6
    Marin Nail Trail
    Cotic Solaris
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    Wait until he is the traffic then, whilst wearing a clown mask, smash every one of his windows and lights with a pick elf.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • mamba80
    mamba80 Posts: 5,032
    Veronese68 wrote:
    mamba80 wrote:
    Why the xxxx didnt you reported him? you had a witness!!!
    Because the only bit of the number we could remember was the 666.

    but with a witness, make an colour plus you have an approximate area as to where the driver lives...

    if no one reports things like this and doesnt complain when or if the Police dont take any notice, then the idiot driver wins and the police get let off from their responsibilities.

    Yep sure some 'forces are better than others but due to number of complaints given to Devon and Cornwall Police, they ve set up a reporting officer and email, evidence is needed, such as film or witnesses of course.
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    mamba80 wrote:
    Veronese68 wrote:
    mamba80 wrote:
    Why the xxxx didnt you reported him? you had a witness!!!
    Because the only bit of the number we could remember was the 666.

    but with a witness, make an colour plus you have an approximate area as to where the driver lives...

    if no one reports things like this and doesnt complain when or if the Police dont take any notice, then the idiot driver wins and the police get let off from their responsibilities.

    Yep sure some 'forces are better than others but due to number of complaints given to Devon and Cornwall Police, they ve set up a reporting officer and email, evidence is needed, such as film or witnesses of course.

    You know and I know that the Feds don't have the resources/care to follow through on this stuff so absolutely nothing will happen.

    Happening in this case is a air strike on his house. One of those big things that Garry likes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rGcn2XGr48
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • mamba80
    mamba80 Posts: 5,032
    Matthewfalle wrote:
    mamba80 wrote:
    Veronese68 wrote:
    mamba80 wrote:
    Why the xxxx didnt you reported him? you had a witness!!!
    Because the only bit of the number we could remember was the 666.

    but with a witness, make an colour plus you have an approximate area as to where the driver lives...

    if no one reports things like this and doesnt complain when or if the Police dont take any notice, then the idiot driver wins and the police get let off from their responsibilities.

    Yep sure some 'forces are better than others but due to number of complaints given to Devon and Cornwall Police, they ve set up a reporting officer and email, evidence is needed, such as film or witnesses of course.

    You know and I know that the Feds don't have the resources/care to follow through on this stuff so absolutely nothing will happen.

    Happening in this case is a air strike on his house. One of those big things that Garry likes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rGcn2XGr48

    Can only speak for down here but with evidence they will act..... but of course will fob off the less demanding !!!

    as i said, if people give up complaining and exercising their rights, then yeah sure fcuk all will change.

    i think bombing his house is a bit extreme but shafting his misses and giving her an STI would be the best course of action...
  • shortfall
    shortfall Posts: 3,288
    mamba80 wrote:
    Matthewfalle wrote:
    mamba80 wrote:
    Veronese68 wrote:
    mamba80 wrote:
    Why the xxxx didnt you reported him? you had a witness!!!
    Because the only bit of the number we could remember was the 666.

    but with a witness, make an colour plus you have an approximate area as to where the driver lives...

    if no one reports things like this and doesnt complain when or if the Police dont take any notice, then the idiot driver wins and the police get let off from their responsibilities.

    Yep sure some 'forces are better than others but due to number of complaints given to Devon and Cornwall Police, they ve set up a reporting officer and email, evidence is needed, such as film or witnesses of course.

    You know and I know that the Feds don't have the resources/care to follow through on this stuff so absolutely nothing will happen.

    Happening in this case is a air strike on his house. One of those big things that Garry likes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rGcn2XGr48


    Can only speak for down here but with evidence they will act..... but of course will fob off the less demanding !!!

    as i said, if people give up complaining and exercising their rights, then yeah sure fcuk all will change.

    i think bombing his house is a bit extreme but shafting his misses and giving her an STI would be the best course of action...

    Particularly if it's transmitted rectally.
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,882
    mamba80 wrote:
    Veronese68 wrote:
    mamba80 wrote:
    Why the xxxx didnt you reported him? you had a witness!!!
    Because the only bit of the number we could remember was the 666.

    but with a witness, make an colour plus you have an approximate area as to where the driver lives...

    Trying to get the Met to help when I found my stolen bike convinced me there was not a lot of point. They only acted when I managed to get the direct number of a senior officer and started pestering them. This is in spite of giving them a name, address and phone number. I eventually got my bike back but they let the scrote go because he claimed he bought the bike in a market. Selling 4 bikes off the same mobile number with a different name on each advert wasn't proof enough of wrongdoing.
    Kinesis Pro6
    Marin Nail Trail
    Cotic Solaris
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    edited September 2017
    Dig huge pits around his house, fill them with razor sharp spikes dipped in human faeces and cover the tops of the pits with bits of the local flaura and fauna so he won't know they are there and will fall in.

    Difficult to drive badly when you are in hospital with sepsis.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    Go to the local zoo and steal their tiger, starve it in your garage then let it loose in his house when he's in.

    Difficult to drive badly when you've been eaten by a hungry tiger.

    If you live near Longleat then use lions.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    Gather together all your old chain rings of your bikes, sharpen them to razor sharp edges but leave them dirty then break into his house dressed as a ninja and throw them at him.

    Difficult to drive badly when you have been impaled by dirty razor sharp chainrings.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    Garry H wrote:
    Can't believe nobody's mentioned a longbow, a splitting axe and a bathful of acid yet.

    Or sending him to Malta.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    Fill every lock in house, cars, shed, etc with superglue and then pay the locksmith he calls to repair his locks to smash his burd giving her a rectally transmitted STI (you may have to pay the locksmith extra to pass on the STi if he doesn't already have one, so just be warned if you are on a budget).
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • slowbike
    slowbike Posts: 8,498
    Tangled Metal wrote:
    If you take his keys could that be theft?
    If you take them home or make it impossible for him to retrieve then yes, it could be argued it's theft. But a key element of theft is the intention to permamently deprive the owner of their possession - so you could argue that handing the keys to a policeman isn't theft as the owner can retrieve them - I'd assume you told the driver you were going to hand them in....

    THink about it - would you take the keys off someone who was totally drunk and about to drive? Then how is this different from someone in a rage about to drive?
    Tangled Metal wrote:
    No action other than reporting to the police is my advice. Seriously antagonizing him won't help. Reporting him might or might not help but at least you feel like you're doing something third option is not to do anything other than avoid him if you see him.

    95%/5% rule. Why let the 5% of your life rule the 95%?
    Because it's not just about you - standard response seems to be the police take "No action" - some won't bother even if you've got video evidence - angry drivers are a danger to the general public, why should it take injury to have a reaction? The police would be there for a drunk driver and this is way worse.

    The answer of course is that it needs the Police to deal with it - but the issues there are evidence and resources so it doesnt happen often...
  • anonymousblackfg
    anonymousblackfg Posts: 2,029
    I got contacted by the mods/police about harassment (seems coppers only want to act against us than for us, when I complained about the incident all I got from the met was 'that sounds dangerous') as I complained about a liveried driver on here and someone made the joke that I should lob dot 5 mineral oil on their car, they saw it and figured it meant burn them alive.

    As for retribution for your situation, I always hear a pint of single cream down the front of the windscreen on a warm day pretty much means the smell never comes out.
    If I know you, and I like you, you can borrow my bike box for £30 a week. PM for details.
  • BelgianBeerGeek
    BelgianBeerGeek Posts: 5,226
    Anything like this, deal with it there and then and kick his head in. There's not a jury in the land who would convict. Unless you believe in reincarnation, you will only pass this way once, so if someone needs their arse kicking, get on and do it.
    Or become a Bhuddist monk, smile sweetly, and move on.
    Ecrasez l’infame
  • Garry H
    Garry H Posts: 6,639
    Matthewfalle wrote:
    You know and I know that the Feds don't have the resources/care to follow through on this stuff so absolutely nothing will happen.

    Happening in this case is a air strike on his house. One of those big things that Garry likes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rGcn2XGr48

    How about an A10 with a longbow bolted to the undercarriage, with acid squirting guns? Oh, and firey fire
  • Garry H
    Garry H Posts: 6,639
    Matthewfalle wrote:
    Garry H wrote:
    Can't believe nobody's mentioned a longbow, a splitting axe and a bathful of acid yet.

    Or sending him to Malta.

    You're taking it too far.
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    there's always Alsager .....
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Garry H
    Garry H Posts: 6,639
    Matthewfalle wrote:
    there's always Alsager .....

    or Wigan
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    I'd rather be kicked repeatedly n the Gooch by a patented Gooch kicking machine on a 24/7 cycle than go to Wigan....
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    Get a convoy of trucks to follow him everywhere until you get bored then blow him up with an IED.

    Difficult to drive badly when you've been blown up by an IED.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • pblakeney
    pblakeney Posts: 27,529
    Is he not dead yet?
    FFS, either get on with it, or get over it.
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • Frank Wilson
    Frank Wilson Posts: 930
    Eat one of his children.
  • tlw1
    tlw1 Posts: 22,209
    Move matthewfalle in next door
  • mouth
    mouth Posts: 1,195
    I used to be a real hot head and stew about everything that ever happened in front of me on the road for hours and hours. Eventually, he'll potato himself, or pick on an MMA fighter or something. Karma has a habit of biting back from time to time.

    I'm not in favour of anyone damaging the car beyond usable. What if his wife/kid/dog takes ill in the night? Things like this have a habit of cascading in a Sod's law kind of way. You don't need something for years and years, then the week after you dispose of it......................

    I'm also not in favour of damaging the car in a way that may cause an accident (whoever suggested oil on the wiper blades, lookin' at you) - that ain't fair on the bus queue he mows down.

    Taking the keys - what with the erratic driving, would be 'reasonable' to think he may be drunk/drugged and taking them in protection of the masses.

    Revenge - brake fluid on the paint. Bit of a slow burner, such as wait until he has it washed kind of slow, but LOL.

    Revenge 2 - https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A ... bkwa6BbYzk

    Seriously, listen till the end.
    The only disability in life is a poor attitude.
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    Why don't you ask Garry? He seems to a have a brilliant explanation for everything else.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    Kidnap him, strip him naked and dip him in a vat full of hair wax.

    Difficult to drive badly when you are having all the hair on your body ripped off.
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Surfer998
    Surfer998 Posts: 9
    Totally get where the OP and others are coming from, but I really despise acts of cowardly revenge, at lest be man enough to do it in front of the offender or not at all.....

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