The Irony Thread

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  • A good joke shortened.
    A yank in Britain visits a friend , it's raining hard , yank says we will go out when it eases off , Brit replies yeah , great weather !
    Yank is obviously confused, the Brit explains irony. The yank sees the funny side and decides to use that irony stuff at the first opportunity when returning home.
    He gets off the flight and grabs a cab home , where he and the cab driver see a petrol tanker stopped having run out of fuel , the tanker driver trudging up the road with a little fill up tank in his hand .
    The cabbie says well look at that, the yank quickly replies , yeah , great weather.
  • laurentianlaurentian Posts: 1,659
    In America

    Irony = Metallic
    Wilier Izoard XP
  • Phone call last night, "my name be Jahib calling you from telephone call nuciance service..."
    Advocate of disc brakes.
  • ProssPross Posts: 21,040
    I've managed to strain a muscle in my shoulder / back while changing into shorts for a physio appointment!
  • pinnopinno Posts: 37,171
    This really pi$$es me off.

    SSE (maybe not in England) are advertising and the theme is an Orang-utan and in another ad, an Orang-Utan with a baby.
    A power company.
    In Indonesia, they are destroying rain forest to grow Palm oil. For oil. For power and in the process, demolishing the last remaining habitat of the Orang-Utan. Now, SSE might have nothing to do with the Palm oil companies but the link is far too blatant.
    S - The Brazilian beach volleyball team
    W - Wiggle Honda
    "This year will be harder than last year. But that is good news; this year will be easier than next year."
  • rjsterryrjsterry Posts: 15,240
    pinno wrote:
    This really pi$$es me off.

    SSE (maybe not in England) are advertising and the theme is an Orang-utan and in another ad, an Orang-Utan with a baby.
    A power company.
    In Indonesia, they are destroying rain forest to grow Palm oil. For oil. For power and in the process, demolishing the last remaining habitat of the Orang-Utan. Now, SSE might have nothing to do with the Palm oil companies but the link is far too blatant.
    Not sure if you watched Twenty Twelve when it was on, but I suspect the depiction of the agency that came up with "Jubilympics" was only very very slightly enhanced for comic effect.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    1980s BSA 10sp

    Liberal metropolitan, remoaner, traitor, "sympathiser", etc.
  • benws1benws1 Posts: 416
    I have read a lot of moans lately about cyclists not having lights on the bike and reflective clothing. To be fair, there are a lot of plonkers around here with no lights and dark clothing.

    However, when I got out at night, I wear proper reflective clothing, have three lights on the front of the bike (one on full, one on flash, one as backup), have a tube rear light on full, a rear light in my jacket on flash, and spares on my helmet and the seat stay.

    What happens? I still get idiots who can't see me (someone nearly drove across me at a junction) and even had a van full beam me the other day because he didn't like my lights. It looks like being lit up like a Christmas tree still doesn't help in some cases, despite some motorists moaning about cyclists and lack of lights.
  • pblakeneypblakeney Posts: 9,810
    benws1 wrote:
    I have read a lot of moans lately about cyclists not having lights on the bike and reflective clothing. To be fair, there are a lot of plonkers around here with no lights and dark clothing.

    However, when I got out at night, I wear proper reflective clothing, have three lights on the front of the bike (one on full, one on flash, one as backup), have a tube rear light on full, a rear light in my jacket on flash, and spares on my helmet and the seat stay.

    What happens? I still get idiots who can't see me (someone nearly drove across me at a junction) and even had a van full beam me the other day because he didn't like my lights. It looks like being lit up like a Christmas tree still doesn't help in some cases, despite some motorists moaning about cyclists and lack of lights.
    You are Alanis Morissette and I claim my £5. :lol:
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • haydenmhaydenm Posts: 2,724
    pinno wrote:
    This really pi$$es me off.

    SSE (maybe not in England) are advertising and the theme is an Orang-utan and in another ad, an Orang-Utan with a baby.
    A power company.
    In Indonesia, they are destroying rain forest to grow Palm oil. For oil. For power and in the process, demolishing the last remaining habitat of the Orang-Utan. Now, SSE might have nothing to do with the Palm oil companies but the link is far too blatant.

    It makes me cringe just because I know what they are like to work with. A baby orangutan isn't going to make me like them...
  • mrfpbmrfpb Posts: 3,926
    edited January 2017
    99.9% of Strava kom titles.

    "I can travel 300 metres downhill faster than anyone else. I'm so proud! Someone give me Kudos. I'm King of the Mountain"
  • keef66keef66 Posts: 13,286
    Email / Skype / Sharepoint has been erratic and flaky for several days. How do they communicate with the affected users? Yep, by email... :D
  • chris_basschris_bass Posts: 4,855
    haydenm wrote:
    A baby orangutan isn't going to make me like them...

    That scuppers any chance of trump encouraging anyone to like america!
    www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes
  • pinnopinno Posts: 37,171
    Pete Waterman talking about Abba.
    S - The Brazilian beach volleyball team
    W - Wiggle Honda
    "This year will be harder than last year. But that is good news; this year will be easier than next year."
  • FocusZingFocusZing Posts: 4,416
    f1847b57458a7c8306cdb9bff3faacfe.jpg
  • earthearth Posts: 934
    ballysmate wrote:
    Just seen Ed Balls on ten o clock news.
    He was moaning that if they get elected......
    I don't think he'll lose too much sleep over it, he knows they won't get elected until most of the people who remember last Labour debacle have died. Ironically, the Tory NHS plans will help to kill them off quite quickly.

    Voters need to realise that those two parties are just different faces of the same $h1t mountain.
  • keef66keef66 Posts: 13,286
    There was a marvellous spam post on here offering an essay writing service. It was written in flamboyantly bad English, possibly by a bot, or by Trump's Twitter writer.
  • shortfallshortfall Posts: 1,716
    Labour supporters whining about Theresa May signalling the end of democracy and ushering in a one party state for holding an election. Now there's lots I dislike about Theresa and the Tories but please, after a decade of Blair and "Bad Al" Campbell followed by the disastrous coronation of Brown, it ill behoves Labour voters to make this charge against her. Also, it's not her fault that Corbyn's Labour are censored and have no chance of winning the election.
  • FocusZingFocusZing Posts: 4,416
    Eurovision UK song "Never Give Up On You"
  • capt_slogcapt_slog Posts: 3,120
    The older I get, the better I was.

    Call it "booty" if you like, to me it's still a fat @rse.
  • scott5scott5 Posts: 83
  • pinnopinno Posts: 37,171
    scott5 wrote:

    Good. Pity the elephant died in the process.
    S - The Brazilian beach volleyball team
    W - Wiggle Honda
    "This year will be harder than last year. But that is good news; this year will be easier than next year."
  • First.AspectFirst.Aspect Posts: 2,815
    I got a puncture this morning. Removed thorn from tyre.

    Later in the day, splinter. Same thorn.

    Is that irony?
  • pinnopinno Posts: 37,171
    It's a censored when you slice your finger in the process of finding the offending article.
    S - The Brazilian beach volleyball team
    W - Wiggle Honda
    "This year will be harder than last year. But that is good news; this year will be easier than next year."
  • pblakeneypblakeney Posts: 9,810
    :shock:
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • WheelspinnerWheelspinner Posts: 4,215
    ballysmate wrote:
    If there are still people who think the UN Is a worthwhile organisation, this should finally convince them otherwise. Congo on Human Rights and now this?

    The sooner this bloke is a fly-blown corpse the better the world will be.
  • ballysmateballysmate Posts: 13,026
    This should cheer up all of you affected by rail strikes.

    https://www.standard.co.uk/news/transpo ... 85096.html
  • I got a puncture this morning. Removed thorn from tyre.

    Later in the day, splinter. Same thorn.

    Is that irony?
    No, it's woody.
  • I got a puncture this morning. Removed thorn from tyre.

    Later in the day, splinter. Same thorn.

    Is that irony?
    No, it's woody.
    A small part of me just died.
  • I got a puncture this morning. Removed thorn from tyre.

    Later in the day, splinter. Same thorn.

    Is that irony?
    No, it's woody.
    A small part of me just died.
    And I'm only six months late.
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