The rules for sandwiches

daviesee

If she is, is a bleeding world record length of pregnancy.

verylonglegs

A warm baguette filled with bacon, brie and tomato. Bit of an artery clogger as I tend to fry my bacon but then it's not something I eat everyday.

mm1

Sandwich fillings in your hair aren't acceptable past the age of two and a half.
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Didn't something like this happen to Pete Green before he left Fleetwood Mac? The band was touring in Holland and the others thought that something was up when he had the same piece of cheese in his hair for 2 weeks.

cornerblock

mm1 wrote:

The band was touring in Holland and the others thought that something was up when he had the same piece of cheese in his hair for 2 weeks.

This must have been just before he went crackers.

finchy

Real men don't eat wraps.

If you see a "panini" on the menu, avoid. It's just the cafe's way of getting you to pay twice as much as you would if they'd called it a sandwich. Same as the way coffee shops have found that you can get morons to pay £1.50 for 2 biscuits if you call them "biscotti".

laurentian

In the case of confusion or bewilderment as to the choice of sandwich, the default choice should always be Cheese and Pickle.

secretsam

Peddle Up! wrote:

Hmmm... just remembered an old favourite. Thickly cut rare-roasted beef, warm fried onions and a good dollop of mayo. Yum.

Salt beef sandwiches, with dill pickle and mustard - Oi!

Ben6899

Fishfinger sandwich

Bottom slice of bread: to be cut thick from a fresh white loaf.
First ingredient: Kraft cheese slice applied directly to the bottom slice.
Second ingredient: five high-quality fishfingers placed at 90deg to the "height" of the loaf.
Third ingredient: Wilkin & Sons tomato ketchup applied to the fishfingers.
Fourth ingredient: Kraft cheese slice placed over the fishfinger/ketchup combination.
Top slice of bread: to be cut thick from a fresh white loaf.
CUT ACROSS THE FISHFINGERS.

As a starter, I recommend an hour of intervals.
As accompaniment, I recommend a pot of Yorkshire tea and live Tour of Flanders coverage.

Loretta Damage

Peddle Up! wrote:

Hmmm... just remembered an old favourite. Thickly cut rare-roasted beef, warm fried onions and a good dollop of mayo. Yum.

This is the traditional Xmas Eve evening fodder in our house, although with English Mustard. On thick cut white homemade bread.

secretsam

Ben6899 wrote:

Fishfinger sandwich

Bottom slice of bread: to be cut thick from a fresh white loaf. Dunno about that, I like sliced plastic white bread (thick I agree on)
First ingredient: Kraft cheese slice applied directly to the bottom slice. Maybe, but I prefer real cheese, melted on
Second ingredient: five high-quality fishfingers placed at 90deg to the "height" of the loaf. Do you mean "on their sides" (ie the thin edge)? Weird
Third ingredient: Wilkin & Sons tomato ketchup applied to the fishfingers. No. Heinz.
Fourth ingredient: Kraft cheese slice placed over the fishfinger/ketchup combination. See above
Top slice of bread: to be cut thick from a fresh white loaf. See above
CUT ACROSS THE FISHFINGERS. Depends, you cut between the 4 fishfingers or across an odd number

As a starter, I recommend an hour of intervals. OK, but shower before eating :shock:
As accompaniment, I recommend a pot of Yorkshire tea and live Tour of Flanders coverage.Yorkshire tea is highly over-rated and frankly nothing special (rather like Yorkshire itself???) :twisted: . Watching Football also works well - but only if your team isn't playing, so you can focus on your food

Hmmmm...an inconsistent answer, needs work - see comments. C+

seanoconn

Ben6899 wrote:

Fishfinger sandwich

Bottom slice of bread: to be cut thick from a fresh white loaf.
First ingredient: Kraft cheese slice applied directly to the bottom slice.
Second ingredient: five high-quality fishfingers placed at 90deg to the "height" of the loaf.
Third ingredient: Wilkin & Sons tomato ketchup applied to the fishfingers.
Fourth ingredient: Kraft cheese slice placed over the fishfinger/ketchup combination.
Top slice of bread: to be cut thick from a fresh white loaf.
CUT ACROSS THE FISHFINGERS.

As a starter, I recommend an hour of intervals.
As accompaniment, I recommend a pot of Yorkshire tea and live Tour of Flanders coverage.

B, good effort. Agree with 5 fish fingers also and not the 3 or 4 as previously suggested in the thread.

secretsam

seanoconn wrote:

Ben6899 wrote:

Fishfinger sandwich

Bottom slice of bread: to be cut thick from a fresh white loaf.
First ingredient: Kraft cheese slice applied directly to the bottom slice.
Second ingredient: five high-quality fishfingers placed at 90deg to the "height" of the loaf.
Third ingredient: Wilkin & Sons tomato ketchup applied to the fishfingers.
Fourth ingredient: Kraft cheese slice placed over the fishfinger/ketchup combination.
Top slice of bread: to be cut thick from a fresh white loaf.
CUT ACROSS THE FISHFINGERS.

As a starter, I recommend an hour of intervals.
As accompaniment, I recommend a pot of Yorkshire tea and live Tour of Flanders coverage.

B, good effort. Agree with 5 fish fingers also and not the 3 or 4 as previously suggested in the thread. You need to reinforce your answer with a more complete, evidenced-solution

See above. Why 5????? I'd expand to 6 and go across into a 2-sandwich solution if I was that hungry

seanoconn

SecretSam wrote:

seanoconn wrote:

Ben6899 wrote:

Fishfinger sandwich

Bottom slice of bread: to be cut thick from a fresh white loaf.
First ingredient: Kraft cheese slice applied directly to the bottom slice.
Second ingredient: five high-quality fishfingers placed at 90deg to the "height" of the loaf.
Third ingredient: Wilkin & Sons tomato ketchup applied to the fishfingers.
Fourth ingredient: Kraft cheese slice placed over the fishfinger/ketchup combination.
Top slice of bread: to be cut thick from a fresh white loaf.
CUT ACROSS THE FISHFINGERS.

As a starter, I recommend an hour of intervals.
As accompaniment, I recommend a pot of Yorkshire tea and live Tour of Flanders coverage.

B, good effort. Agree with 5 fish fingers also and not the 3 or 4 as previously suggested in the thread. You need to reinforce your answer with a more complete, evidenced-solution

See above. Why 5????? I'd expand to 6 and go across into a 2-sandwich solution if I was that hungry

5 properly fills a slice of bread, 4 length ways, 1 across. Although sometimes the 5th has to cut in two and squeezed in. We could double up and go for the full 10 fish fingers, reversing the pattern of lay for the second tier.

Anyone who could devour this monster, would go down in manwich legend.

finchy

SecretSam wrote:

Ben6899 wrote:

Third ingredient: Wilkin & Sons tomato ketchup applied to the fishfingers. No. Heinz.

Hmmmm...an inconsistent answer, needs work - see comments. C+

You're both wrong. The correct answer is tartare sauce.

secretsam

johnfinch wrote:

SecretSam wrote:

Ben6899 wrote:

Third ingredient: Wilkin & Sons tomato ketchup applied to the fishfingers. No. Heinz.

Hmmmm...an inconsistent answer, needs work - see comments. C+

You're both wrong. The correct answer is tartare sauce.

I appreciate your attempted correction, but the presence of cheese precludes the use of Tartare Sauce. Which is far too posh to go in a FF butty anyway.

secretsam

seanoconn wrote:

5 properly fills a slice of bread, 4 length ways, 1 across. Although sometimes the 5th has to cut in two and squeezed in. We could double up and go for the full 10 fish fingers, reversing the pattern of lay for the second tier.

Anyone who could devour this monster, would go down in manwich legend.

Right, now I'm lost - one answer has 5 perpendicular to the bread, if I'm reading it right, now you're saying 4 vertical (in line with the bread vertical axis) and a fifth lying across the top?

If so - no, 4 lying horizontally parallel with the horizontal bread axis. Thus allowing oozage space for sauces, cheese, etc.

finchy

SecretSam wrote:

johnfinch wrote:

SecretSam wrote:

Ben6899 wrote:

Third ingredient: Wilkin & Sons tomato ketchup applied to the fishfingers. No. Heinz.

Hmmmm...an inconsistent answer, needs work - see comments. C+

You're both wrong. The correct answer is tartare sauce.

I appreciate your attempted correction, but the presence of cheese precludes the use of Tartare Sauce. Which is far too posh to go in a FF butty anyway.

Cheese can go quite nicely with tartare sauce, especially with the fish fingers' breaded coating.

GGBiker

Does anyone else find that the routine addition of "salad" to a sandwich is to the detriment of the flavour of the core ingredients?

Most sandwiches seem to have it bunged in for appearance or bulk and it's a distraction that causes a soggy mess.

mm1

Salad only works on a donner, so that you've got something that gives the illusion of eating 5 a day (and takes the edge off the chili sauce). Had my first kebab (shish) in about 20 years the other night, it was grand. Back OT, this morning's breakfast will be 2 rashers of crisp Denehay streaky and a fried egg (organic free range, of course) on toasted granary, with loads of butter and HP - no salad.

verylonglegs

Disagree on the no salad thing, BLT is easily one of my top 3 sandwich fillings...in fact it's my lunch today.

secretsam

mm1 wrote:

2 rashers of crisp Denehay streaky

Eww, streaky bacon - back bacon please
Eww (v2), crisp bacon - no, it should be lightly cooked an still floppy-ish

That is all

ballysmate

Number 1 rule as far as I am concerned is that it must be made by somebody else.

mfin

As a kid I always remember going to my Nans and her making us Egg and Marmite sandwiches, still love them now! An old guy I said this to once said Egg and Anchovy sandwiches are great (never dared try it!).

Also, here's a good off-putting one we used to do, cold days-old chilli-con-carne with mayo, or same thing warm but by frying the chilli-con-carne and pressing it down with a fish slice in the frying pan to get it crispy.

Let's face it, us brits have fond memories of all sorts of crap sandwiches , sod these mega-stacked deli style american ones that are not really a sandwich cos you can't pick them up!

mustgettaller

I hereby submit my breakfast sandwich for scrutiny by the Keepers Of The Sandwich Rules:



Notes

• I usually eat brown bread, but I believe it's against the rules to have a bacon and egg sandwich in brown bread.
• Tomatoes were sliced prior to frying, to reduce cooking time.
• Ketchup was applied to egg prior to closure.
• I can report that egg yolk burst successfully on first bite, and regulation dribble took place.

PercyFlage

mm1 wrote:

Giraffoto wrote:

. . .nominating a proper West Midlands Hot Pork sandwich, with stuffing, gravy, apple sauce and crackling. What time is Man v Food on Dave?

Egad, where does one get one of these masterpieces?

Wolverhampton I hope (its been a while). There's a van on Market Square in Huntingdon every Saturday that sells hot pork sandwiches, but I'm ashamed to say I've yet to try one. More of a Black Country thing I think (like proper Balti).

Admittedly with more than a hint of nostalgia, but Cradley Heath Speedway hot pork sandwhich remains unbeaten

MountainMonster

mustgettaller wrote:

I hereby submit my breakfast sandwich for scrutiny by the Keepers Of The Sandwich Rules:



Notes

• I usually eat brown bread, but I believe it's against the rules to have a bacon and egg sandwich in brown bread.
• Tomatoes were sliced prior to frying, to reduce cooking time.
• Ketchup was applied to egg prior to closure.
• I can report that egg yolk burst successfully on first bite, and regulation dribble took place.

You get a 6 for effort at least.

Notes from my side:
1. Serious lack of bacon
2. Serious lack of eggs
3. Serious lack of onions
4. Bread is not toasted until crispy
5. The bottom bread slice is not soaked in grease.

Daz555

Rules for bacon:

1. Wholemeal bread is best but should be left in the bread bin when it comes to bacon. White only.
2. We all love a thick "doorstop" sandwich but bread which is too thick kills a bacon sandwich.
3. Red or brown sauce go on sausages, not bacon.
4. A fried egg and bacon were meant to be together.
5. A yolk which does not instantly explode on first bite is very overcooked.
6. A bacon or bacon & egg sandwich should be washed down with a cold glass of milk.
7. Streaky bacon belongs on turkeys, not sandwiches.
8. Toast belongs under beans. It should not come anywhere near bacon.

seanoconn

mustgettaller wrote:

I hereby submit my breakfast sandwich for scrutiny by the Keepers Of The Sandwich Rules:



Notes

• I usually eat brown bread, but I believe it's against the rules to have a bacon and egg sandwich in brown bread.
• Tomatoes were sliced prior to frying, to reduce cooking time.
• Ketchup was applied to egg prior to closure.
• I can report that egg yolk burst successfully on first bite, and regulation dribble took place.

Where's the butter??!!

Giraffoto

mustgettaller wrote:

I hereby submit my breakfast sandwich for scrutiny by the Keepers Of The Sandwich Rules:



Notes

• I usually eat brown bread, but I believe it's against the rules to have a bacon and egg sandwich in brown bread.
• Tomatoes were sliced prior to frying, to reduce cooking time.
• Ketchup was applied to egg prior to closure.
• I can report that egg yolk burst successfully on first bite, and regulation dribble took place.

Bacon and egg is, obviously, one of the best sandwiches in the known universe, so an excellent start. It may be the way the picture was taken, but the ingredients look severely off-centre - however, it's not just permitted but in some cases mandatory to open your sandwich and re-arrange the filling before eating it. It may also be an oversight that there's no mug of tea in the picture.

Overall rating - I could go for one of them, but I'll have butter on mine

seanoconn

seanoconn wrote:

mustgettaller wrote:

I hereby submit my breakfast sandwich for scrutiny by the Keepers Of The Sandwich Rules:



Notes

• I usually eat brown bread, but I believe it's against the rules to have a bacon and egg sandwich in brown bread.
• Tomatoes were sliced prior to frying, to reduce cooking time.
• Ketchup was applied to egg prior to closure.
• I can report that egg yolk burst successfully on first bite, and regulation dribble took place.

Where's the butter??!!

Well spotted. All ingredients shall be distributed evenly, when possible. Notoriously difficult with one egg and reason enough to have two fried gooey sunshines, without feeling guilty.