Your Skill

bernithebiker

Seeing as this forum is such a great place for sharing cycling knowledge, be it how to mount a BB30 ( not with a hammer and screwdriver), or how to improve your pedal technique (hot topic right now!), I thought why not share other stuff too?

Cyclists are , I like to think, an intelligent bunch and multi-skilled, so why not share the brain power?

Sink blocked? I'm sure there's a plumber here somewhere!

So how about listing your skill, if you're prepared to accept the odd question from a member?

Now if you paint gnomes for a living, you're unlikely to be bothered much, but if you're a computer engineer, you may want to lie low after a while!

To kick off, my expertise lies in; chainsaws and garden machinery, oil (the N.Sea kind) and oil products (eg. Diesel), home heating, French.

Hoopdriver

Longtime magazine journalist and photographer here, so writing and photography would be my main areas of expertise. I know a fair bit about lots of places around the world so I suppose travel advice would be something else I would be good for; I wrote National Geographic's guidebook to Australia for one thing, and another book about Antarctica.

capt_slog

Me? I paints gnomes.

daviesee

I could help if you need some assistance in designing fabrications and manifolds to go underwater but that is unlikely to be a day to day demand.

AchillesLeftKnee

To save an unpleasant drowning in acronym soup and rather moronic job titles, I'll opt for "computer programmer" as a cover-all.

team47b

Diabetes, the pancreas, insulin, the bonk, affects of carbohydrates, protein, fats etc on exercise.

Who here is ever gonna want/need advice on carbs? :roll:

upperoilcan

Telephony engineer here.

daviesee

team47b wrote:

Diabetes, the pancreas, insulin, the bonk, affects of carbohydrates, protein, fats etc on exercise.

Who here is ever gonna want/need advice on carbs? :roll:

Thread diversion but advice needed within 24 hours. :P
Mallorca cycling - Carb load night before, at breakfast, or both?

simonhead

daviesee wrote:

I could help if you need some assistance in designing fabrications and manifolds to go underwater but that is unlikely to be a day to day demand.

I recruit Engineers in the Oil and Gas industry, mostly work in the design phases for offshore and subsea clients.

thegreatdivide

Need a ISP project managed? Give us a call. I can also run your record label too.

Drfabulous0

I can tell when people are lying, unfortunately it doesn't work online, only in person.

thegreatdivide

Drfabulous0 wrote:

I can tell when people are lying, unfortunately it doesn't work online, only in person.

Are you MI5?

dynamicbrick

All useful skills, and therefore completely irrelevant. To tread upon the path of true skills enlightenment, what you really want is a skill which is now entirely obsolete.

Thanks to my Grandfather being my pre-school carer, I can strip, clean, and reassemble a Lee Enfield SMLE Mk.4 (convinced the Reds would sweep across Europe at any moment, I think he had visions of holding out against the masses at the bottom of his garden, with 4 year old me in the fox hole reloading for him).

He also taught me extensively where best to site your section weapon to support your defensive perimeter; It's underneath the gooseberry bush, next to the strawberries.

Drfabulous0

thegreatdivide wrote:

Drfabulous0 wrote:

I can tell when people are lying, unfortunately it doesn't work online, only in person.

Are you MI5?

No, although I guess I would say that anyway. I am, however aware that people talk a lot of sh!te. It's not a learned thing, it's just obvious, I was staggered to learn that not everyone can do this (about 0.1% apparently), it would be better if you could. Works on telly as well if the camera angle is suitable. It's hard to quantify the accuracy but it is useful in both proffesional and social situations although knowing something is not true is not the same as knowing the truth.

I also have no sense of smell so am an expert at changing nappies, unblocking drains, cleaning cat litter trays and other stinky work.

jordan_217

Cleaning stuff, anything. Cars are my favorite subject but anything will do, guttering, facias, windows, etc, etc. I have OCD, so everything has to be just right.

Similar to Drfabulous0, I also have a people radar. Not necessarily when they're lying but I pretty much get the gist of someone within 5 minutes. I decide there and then and won't change my mind.

I'm also a Software Tester. I don't like it, I don't think it's a skill but it pays the mortgage and keeps my platinum customer status with Wiggle active.

ben@31

Nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills...

Frank the tank

Personally I haven't got any skills

However I bet VTech's secret (or not so now) is to always see the good in people.

danlikesbikes

ben@31 wrote:

Nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills...

Your not this guy then http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsEZ2lpM0Yw

AchillesLeftKnee

dynamicbrick wrote:

He also taught me extensively where best to site your section weapon to support your defensive perimeter; It's underneath the gooseberry bush, next to the strawberries.

Attempting to lure 'em from their tanks with soft fruit, eh? Good job Von Manstein didn't try that one at Kursk or we'd all have been in trouble.

bernithebiker

dynamicbrick wrote:

All useful skills, and therefore completely irrelevant. To tread upon the path of true skills enlightenment, what you really want is a skill which is now entirely obsolete.

Thanks to my Grandfather being my pre-school carer, I can strip, clean, and reassemble a Lee Enfield SMLE Mk.4 (convinced the Reds would sweep across Europe at any moment, I think he had visions of holding out against the masses at the bottom of his garden, with 4 year old me in the fox hole reloading for him).

He also taught me extensively where best to site your section weapon to support your defensive perimeter; It's underneath the gooseberry bush, next to the strawberries.

Excellent stuff! And extremely useful. You never know when the next Armageddon's coming.

Seriously though, I am amazed at most people's lack of basic practical skills. For example, the vast majority that come and stay in our holiday houses simply cannot light a fire, despite me leaving kindling, a gas torch, etc. A couple of lightly singed logs is often the best they can manage.

Still, I can't put a double duvet cover on so it's horses for courses I suppose.....

desweller

I am your god.

jordan_217

bernithebiker wrote:

dynamicbrick wrote:

All useful skills, and therefore completely irrelevant. To tread upon the path of true skills enlightenment, what you really want is a skill which is now entirely obsolete.

Thanks to my Grandfather being my pre-school carer, I can strip, clean, and reassemble a Lee Enfield SMLE Mk.4 (convinced the Reds would sweep across Europe at any moment, I think he had visions of holding out against the masses at the bottom of his garden, with 4 year old me in the fox hole reloading for him).

He also taught me extensively where best to site your section weapon to support your defensive perimeter; It's underneath the gooseberry bush, next to the strawberries.

Excellent stuff! And extremely useful. You never know when the next Armageddon's coming.

Seriously though, I am amazed at most people's lack of basic practical skills. For example, the vast majority that come and stay in our holiday houses simply cannot light a fire, despite me leaving kindling, a gas torch, etc. A couple of lightly singed logs is often the best they can manage.

Still, I can't put a double duvet cover on so it's horses for courses I suppose.....

Prey tell, what is this holiday house and if I book will you show me some good routes?

bernithebiker

jordan_217 wrote:

Prey tell, what is this holiday house and if I book will you show me some good routes?

You just need to click the link at the bottom of my posts. 4 houses in cycling heaven! I'll come out riding with you every day if you like, and in September we're organising a full blown cycle week with chef based at the chateau!

Here's a sample ride (which is an unusually tough one)

http://app.strava.com/activities/49260290

VTech

I write binary and hex code. Software encryption and coding.
Fecking boring and of no use around the house where I wished I had building skills right now.

ddraver

Drfabulous0 wrote:

thegreatdivide wrote:

Drfabulous0 wrote:

I can tell when people are lying, unfortunately it doesn't work online, only in person.

Are you MI5?

No, although I guess I would say that anyway. I am, however aware that people talk a lot of sh!te. It's not a learned thing, it's just obvious, I was staggered to learn that not everyone can do this (about 0.1% apparently), it would be better if you could. Works on telly as well if the camera angle is suitable. It's hard to quantify the accuracy but it is useful in both proffesional and social situations although knowing something is not true is not the same as knowing the truth.

I also have no sense of smell so am an expert at changing nappies, unblocking drains, cleaning cat litter trays and other stinky work.

You re He who must not be named arent you!!!!!!

Personally, petroleum geologist specialising in Sedimentology. Skills include core description, Ichnofacies interpretation, BHI descriptionand interpretation, Facies and depositional systems modelling, petrographic and advanced diagenetic analysis

I look at rocks basically...

team47b

daviesee wrote:

team47b wrote:

Diabetes, the pancreas, insulin, the bonk, affects of carbohydrates, protein, fats etc on exercise.

Who here is ever gonna want/need advice on carbs? :roll:

Thread diversion but advice needed within 24 hours. :P
Mallorca cycling - Carb load night before, at breakfast, or both?

Eat 'normally' (e.g. pasta) at eight the night before, eat cereals in milk for supper before midnight eat porridge etc for breakfast.

Dinner will ensure glycogen stores are full, supper will fuel your night time activities (sleep!) and porridge with fast acting carbs, sugar/honey will fuel short term and long until about 10.30 when you need to eat a snack, suggest a sandwich of wholemeal bread for slow release and some fast acting carb filling (Obree uses marmalade!) then it depends how long you are on the bike, eat small amount (half energy bar) once every hour, drink lots before during and after, it's probably about 21-26c, so not too hot.

Ratio of 4 to 1 protein to carbs after riding, within 30 minutes of stopping will aid muscle recovery and top up your glycogen reserves. These carbs will be absorbed into your system and will not be available as energy or be stored as fat.

Have fun, if you have time between all that eating

ballysmate

bernithebiker wrote:

Seriously though, I am amazed at most people's lack of basic practical skills. For example, the vast majority that come and stay in our holiday houses simply cannot light a fire, despite me leaving kindling, a gas torch, etc. A couple of lightly singed logs is often the best they can manage.

Still, I can't put a double duvet cover on so it's horses for courses I suppose.....

Holiday cottage not in Wales then?
Seem to remember the Welsh had no problem starting fires in holiday cottages. :roll:

declan1

I'm a pianist - passed my DipLCM on Wednesday. I've had a permanent smile on my face ever since

Cleat Eastwood

I can fiddle with my genitals in queue without anyone noticing - not even the pubic lice

ballysmate

Cleat Eastwood wrote:

I can fiddle with my genitals in queue without anyone noticing - not even the pubic lice

The real skill is fiddling with someone else's bits. As long as your not queuing for an ice cream outside a school. :oops:

AchillesLeftKnee

Cleat Eastwood wrote:

I can fiddle with my genitals in queue without anyone noticing - not even the pubic lice

Does this mean you're able to accompany yourself on the xylophone?