MTBers who don't actually go biking - rubbish men / dating!

MissCMC

Stop nagging me to ride my bike!

And yes I agree. The best ones have been where I haven't been bothered about what happened and have ended up having a great time. It's when I don't have to be on date behaviour that things change...

clamps81

As an aside on online dating particularly (and dating generally) is that if you're either side of the bell curve in interests, personality or whatever then you're going to have a far harder time of it unless you're living in a very densely populated area, you're gonna have a far harder time of it than if you're Johnnie/Jane Average in most respects.

I've got a fair few friends who question why their relationships end badly or they're so unhappy or can't find the right person and they're generally the people who can't stand to be on their own and will fling themselves into relationships with wholly unsuitable people just so they don't have to spend time by themselves. Bit sad really. Chill out, ignore societies constant yelling to partner up with someone for the sake of it and you'll be all the better for it. Being single is far preferable to being with someone who doesn't really make you happy.

meh, what do I know. The days are getting longer and our poor excuse for a summer is coming, so that that means time, energy and money goes bikewards.

ol\'gregg

MissCMC wrote:

I just really dislike the whole ruthless nature of whole dating 'game' because essentially that is what it has become. The number of times my friends tell me 'the rules' about when to text/call and when not, what to say you are doing, what to tell them about yourself etc etc. So much to remember and worry about presenting the best possible version of you that you actually forget to have fun. I think the best dates I have been on have been ones where I didn't actually care what happened and have ended up having a great time (and getting in at 5am...). It seriously feels the total opposite of what I remember. Maybe that is just age.

Yet another friend has announced their engagement this weekend. I wonder when the memo came out that we had to be married/coupled up/having babies as quickly as possible. I do look at friends and wonder if they are just settling for someone to avoid being alone. Maybe I'm getting too picky in my old age...

I'm with you on that one. The thought of having to sell myself to the opposite sex leaves me somewhat cold. I dress how i dress. act how i act and do what i do. The thought of having to be 'judged' on what i should be or what they think i should be makes me think if it's actually worth it.
I do feel it's time for me to move on with my life but i'm now at a stage where i'm quite happy doing my own thing and if i meet someone great if not then that's fine also. I don't want to jump into something just to fill a gap.
Some of my best times have just been heading out for one drink then rolling in at 3am not really knowing what happened but a good night all the same.

bennett_346

ol\'gregg wrote:

I'm with you on that one. The thought of having to sell myself to the opposite sex leaves me somewhat cold. I dress how i dress. act how i act and do what i do. The thought of having to be 'judged' on what i should be or what they think i should be makes me think if it's actually worth it.

That's what i hate, it ends up feeling like a bit of a farce tbh.

bails87

Do you need to be with someone with the same interests as you? Mrs Bails isn't interested in cycling, other than bimbling round the park, but she knows that that's what makes me happy so is happy for me to do it.

You don't have to spend every second together like some loved up teenage couple, IMO. If you met a guy who was passionate about kite-surfing (or some other thing you've got no interest in) then he can do that while you're doing "your" thing. Then you both come home filthy and full of endorphins and all's good...

Thewaylander

I think the problem is Bails alot of people these days people have no interests outside, TV and drinking (unless its women and shopping) So they just don't understand what having a passion is.

So that just makes it easier on the whole to find someone who enjoys the same past time as you.

welshkev

I agree with bails. I don't think it needs to be the same past time/interest. Just as long as you both understand that you have other interests not just each other and there'll be times when you may not see each other for a day or three

angry_bird

welshkev wrote:

I agree with bails. I don't think it needs to be the same past time/interest. Just as long as you both understand that you have other interests not just each other and there'll be times when you may not see each other for a day or three

I agree, I've been out with people who I felt didn't actually understand or apprectiate how much I'm into bikes and how important going riding was. Then they've felt I want to spend more time out on the bike than with them, didn't want to spend time with them etc. which for the most part wasn't the case, but it just doesn't really work if they can't realise you have a life and need to do other stuff.

The one person I've been out with who really understood had a proper interest herself, shame that didn't work out. I guess unless someone has something they're equally passionate about then they won't undertand, don't think it necessarily have to be the same interest, although it would be nice

bails87 wrote:

You don't have to spend every second together like some loved up teenage couple

I wish someone would tell superbitch this, she literally can't stand to be apart from her BF for an hour, it's crazy. Apart from acting like his mother, it's got to the point that if he gets back to ours from uni, she's come straight over to see him for 10 minutes before driving back to hers to empty the washing machine, then driving back round to ours :roll:

lostboysaint

bails87 wrote:

Do you need to be with someone with the same interests as you? Mrs Bails isn't interested in cycling, other than bimbling round the park, but she knows that that's what makes me happy so is happy for me to do it.

You don't have to spend every second together like some loved up teenage couple, IMO. If you met a guy who was passionate about kite-surfing (or some other thing you've got no interest in) then he can do that while you're doing "your" thing. Then you both come home filthy and full of endorphins and all's good...

She's not going to meet a guy who's passionate about kitesurfing, they're only interested in other guys.

pilch

bails87 wrote:

You don't have to spend every second together like some loved up teenage couple, IMO. If you met a guy who was passionate about kite-surfing (or some other thing you've got no interest in) then he can do that while you're doing "your" thing. Then you both come home filthy and full of endorphins and all's good...

Absolutely this, I was seriously in to kitesurfing for 10 years the mrs was and still is, into horse eventing. The important thing is you are both passionate aboute something and can appreciate your partners 'need' to go and do their thing, makes for a very healthy relationship.

She rides bikes now (she's pretty good too) as well as horses it's great that we can go off and do our own thing, its nice to share interests too.

lostboysaint wrote:

She's not going to meet a guy who's passionate about kitesurfing, they're only interested in other guys.

Seriously? women dressed in rubber/half clothed on the beach - can be very distracting...

lostboysaint

pilch

lostboysaint wrote:

Oh you're a poledancer... that explains your confusion

lostboysaint

And you're obviously a failed windsurfer

pilch

Touché

MissCMC

I'm not saying you need to share the same interests. Doing different things apart is good. I find it hard in my life to fit things in as I am constantly in work or busy with work stuff. I do, however, like to try new things and if someone is willing to share their interests with me and I enjoy them too then for me that's a win. Much as I understand that some people love bikes, they may not understand the same with me liking running, riding horses (which I haven't had time or funds to do for years) or working on the farm. I just like someone to get involved in what I am doing too sometimes and support me. I cannot deal with someone who can't get their hands dirty. My ex used to hate doing anything on the farm as it smelt and was mucky. Whereas I think it's great fun as no two days are the same and I can do things that many other people never get to. I think some similar loves are good, but not too similar.

bails87

lostboysaint wrote:

And you're obviously a failed windsurfer

I always thought windsurfing was just for people who couldn't afford a proper boat...

lostboysaint

bails87 wrote:

lostboysaint wrote:

And you're obviously a failed windsurfer

I always thought windsurfing was just for people who couldn't afford a proper boat...

No, it's sailing for people who are able to get off their arse.

mpatts

Dating is difficult.

I once accidentally drank a whole bottle of vinegar thinking it was bad wine.

welshkev

So that's your life miss cmc. What about your dates? What about you spending time supporting them with their interests? I think that's why you haven't found someone IMHO.

Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop to look around once in a while you may just miss it

MissCMC

Dates don't happen often. Men I have met recently are unable to deal with females with an opinion on how they deserve to be treated/respected. Also met my fair share of total bellringers, looking for someone to drag down and aisle and start having babies with, and it shocks them when I say that isn't what I am looking for straight away.

And I am fully supportive of partners outside interests. I have lost count of times I have been out on weekends waiting for them to finish whatever event they are doing, being their one person cheering/mending/feeding team, making sure they have everything they need and getting them there in time to do whatever it is they are doing and then getting them and whatever equipment they have home again. And doing this in all weathers, at all times of day or night, in all locations. I don't mind doing it. I find it interesting. I find it fun meeting new people. I did the same for the last guy I was with. I made time for him and supporting him in my currently very career driven lifestyle but he had very little interest in doing the same for me it seems as when I mentioned that some assistance might be nice for something I wanted to do no help was forthcoming. And no I don't nag. I understand the meaning of the word no.

Sometimes it's easier to hide behind work and use that as an excuse - which I very much know I am guilty of. Sometimes I have very little inclination to market myself to the opposite sex, as the majority of them also judge books by their covers, men are equally as superficial as woman, and also seem to be intimidated by someone who knows their own mind and is quite capable of looking after themselves if needs be.

Woodmonkey

MissCMC wrote:

. I understand the meaning of the no,

But do you know the meaning of shhhhh, because in my experience woman tend to think it means "carry on talking, in fact get louder, start shouting at me" I thought it meant stop talking!

Thewaylander

Just go out riding more :P

Worked on the ex misses chicken farm, and started a new religeon of chickens worshipping me i'm sure of it! was a bit of a laugh, though when they dive bomb you it's annoying!

Still I've given up just keep riding my bike and save my cash its alot cheaper than having a girly.

miss notax

Crikey, this has all moved on from where I last left it!!

After much reflection it would be really fab to meet someone who is into biking too.... Meant to be going for a second date with a really nice guy who is into gliding and flying stuff (I did listen, honestly...!) but to be honest i'm not sure I will because I don't really understand what he's on about and vice versa hobby-wise! I had a brilliant weekend biking up in the Peaks recently and telling my biking mates about it has been fun - telling non-biking mates about it is a bit meh as they don't have any idea what i'm on about or what it's like!

So my (relaxed) search continues

welshkev

maybe you should start a singles thread on here? you'd catch the attention of guys who actually may ride their bikes

miss notax

I have just passed my MIAS course to coach MTBing (woohoo 8) ) so perhaps a course but only for single men between 35 and 45 with a nice bike.....?

bennett_346

^^^ Just remember though, the flasher the bike the smaller the....

ol\'gregg

miss notax wrote:

I have just passed my MIAS course to coach MTBing (woohoo 8) ) so perhaps a course but only for single men between 35 and 45 with a nice bike.....?

That's me out by 1 year then and i don't own a nice bike.

I haven't had any dates since my break up (possibly as i haven't been out much to meet anyone) I did sign up to a dating site but gave up on that after a week due to just getting messages from mentals saying 'hi' or 'your fit' or 'do you have a webcam' not really what i'm after.
So the plan is to just enjoy myself, find a place to live, get out on the bike more and go from there.

Thewaylander

Between 32 and 40 :P

welshkev

miss notax wrote:

I have just passed my MIAS course to coach MTBing (woohoo 8) ) so perhaps a course but only for single men between 35 and 45 with a nice bike.....?

i (just) fit the age range, but unfortunately for you i'm not single

clamps81

Still I've given up just keep riding my bike and save my cash its alot cheaper than having a girly.

This. I can't afford to go on dates and sort out everything on my bike, so somethings got to give..