The Annual Phil and Paul Thread!

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Comments

  • disgruntledgoat
    disgruntledgoat Posts: 8,957
    Yellow Peril wrote:
    At work completely stymied by the web filter. Will be watching the P&P show tonight. Looking to see some good racing and a good supply of howlers and old favourites.

    I snuck out to the kitchen at work for the last 10km on ITV4.

    In that time they clocked up an "in the sport of professional cycling", a "hammer down" and some guff about Chavanel knowing all the roads like the back of his hand because he won a race there last year.
    "In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"

    @gietvangent
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,462
    Harmon said something like "It's all kicking off here - that's something you won't here Phil and Paul say" :lol:
  • Yellow Peril
    Yellow Peril Posts: 4,466
    disgruntledgoat wrote:
    Yellow Peril wrote:
    At work completely stymied by the web filter. Will be watching the P&P show tonight. Looking to see some good racing and a good supply of howlers and old favourites.

    I snuck out to the kitchen at work for the last 10km on ITV4.

    In that time they clocked up an "in the sport of professional cycling", a "hammer down" and some guff about Chavanel knowing all the roads like the back of his hand because he won a race there last year.

    Sherwen has surpassed himself in this Tour with that saying so far and we're only a few days in. He must be on a piece rate for it.

    "The Am-gen Tour of California" is getting some abuse as well. I predict Mark Cavendish will replace Lance Armstrong as most venerated and Team Sky generally will take over from USPS/Disco as soon as Big George and Levi retire.

    "The shirt of the South African National champion as worn by Robbie Hunter" seems to have replaced Julian Dean on the National Champion references front.

    I love it!
    @JaunePeril

    Winner of the Bike Radar Pro Race Wiggins Hour Prediction Competition
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,462
    I'm becoming convinced they are parodying themselves just to keep threads like this going. When will we get the first mention of Lance's off road shortcut on that descent? It may have come today but I was watching ES, one rider took to the grass for a few metres which would have been a trigger for them if they noticed.
  • Yellow Peril
    Yellow Peril Posts: 4,466
    Pross wrote:
    I'm becoming convinced they are parodying themselves just to keep threads like this going. When will we get the first mention of Lance's off road shortcut on that descent? It may have come today but I was watching ES, one rider took to the grass for a few metres which would have been a trigger for them if they noticed.


    Phil will "add spice" by recalling that tale and replacing Armstrong with Ulrich. On which point they'll also be gagging for a hill climb show down between Cuddles and Wiggo so they can pay homage to "the look"
    @JaunePeril

    Winner of the Bike Radar Pro Race Wiggins Hour Prediction Competition
  • ms_tree
    ms_tree Posts: 1,405
    In today's highlights I noticed Team Sky Pro Cycling. :lol:

    (Mind you I think I need ' suitcase full of courage' if I ride round here.)
    'Google can bring back a hundred thousand answers. A librarian can bring you back the right one.'
    Neil Gaiman
  • ms_tree
    ms_tree Posts: 1,405
    I'm disappointed that we can no longer call Michael Mørkøv Morkov as I have already nick-named him Elric.
    'Google can bring back a hundred thousand answers. A librarian can bring you back the right one.'
    Neil Gaiman
  • ratsbeyfus
    ratsbeyfus Posts: 2,841
    edited July 2012
    disgruntledgoat wrote:
    Yellow Peril wrote:
    At work completely stymied by the web filter. Will be watching the P&P show tonight. Looking to see some good racing and a good supply of howlers and old favourites.

    I snuck out to the kitchen at work for the last 10km on ITV4.

    In that time they clocked up an "in the sport of professional cycling", a "hammer down" and some guff about Chavanel knowing all the roads like the back of his hand because he won a race there last year.[/quote]

    Yeah, loved that bit... especially as Chavanel almost slammed into the kerb on a tight right hander moments later :lol:

    I had one of them red bikes but I don't any more. Sad face.

    @ratsbey
  • Yellow Peril
    Yellow Peril Posts: 4,466
    Ms Tree wrote:
    I'm disappointed that we can no longer call Michael Mørkøv Morkov as I have already nick-named him Elric.

    Phil was all over the place with that name. At one point he used Merkew, Morkov and Mork-o in as many sentences!
    @JaunePeril

    Winner of the Bike Radar Pro Race Wiggins Hour Prediction Competition
  • MrTapir
    MrTapir Posts: 1,206
    Yellow Peril wrote:
    Ms Tree wrote:
    I'm disappointed that we can no longer call Michael Mørkøv Morkov as I have already nick-named him Elric.

    Phil was all over the place with that name. At one point he used Merkew, Morkov and Mork-o in as many sentences!

    THey both were: At one point Phil said 'Murkoo', then Paul said 'Mirkow' immediately after.
  • TMR
    TMR Posts: 3,986
    disgruntledgoat wrote:
    and some guff about Chavanel knowing all the roads like the back of his hand because he won a race there last year.

    I heard that as well. What a load of bullocks. Racing over that road a few times does not mean he knows it extremely well at all :roll:

    Do ITV4 have a feedback e-mail address? I'm feeling especially grumpy this morning.
  • TMR
    TMR Posts: 3,986
    In fact, when I was watching the Versus 2010 TdF coverage Phil and Paul had a little lover's tiff on air. Phil made some random assertion, and Paul said he didn't have a clue what he was talking about as he wasn't an ex-Pro like him. Yawn :roll:

    I used to really enjoy their commentary, but this year they are just irritating me immensely. Not sure what the catalyst for that change is?
  • MrTapir
    MrTapir Posts: 1,206
    The Mad Rapper wrote:
    In fact, when I was watching the Versus 2010 TdF coverage Phil and Paul had a little lover's tiff on air. Phil made some random assertion, and Paul said he didn't have a clue what he was talking about as he wasn't an ex-Pro like him. Yawn :roll:

    I used to really enjoy their commentary, but this year they are just irritating me immensely. Not sure what the catalyst for that change is?

    I've wondered this: two years ago it was brilliant, but last year it just wasnt the same, and this year its the same as last year. Maybe an editorial instruction or something.
  • grantus
    grantus Posts: 690
    last night Paul came out with the classic "it's a nervous day today and they are all at the limit of their expectation"

    closely followed by

    "they are suffering from the third day nerves"

    when there was a big pile up on a narrow road.

    Genius - more of the same please :D
    www.westlothianclarion.co.uk
  • ddraver
    ddraver Posts: 26,695
    The Mad Rapper wrote:
    In fact, when I was watching the Versus 2010 TdF coverage Phil and Paul had a little lover's tiff on air. Phil made some random assertion, and Paul said he didn't have a clue what he was talking about as he wasn't an ex-Pro like him. Yawn :roll:

    I used to really enjoy their commentary, but this year they are just irritating me immensely. Not sure what the catalyst for that change is?

    I know...me too. I think that YouTube Vid posted abaove has broken me. I could handle the willfull looking the other way but that level of fandom is just too far. Now Sarrrgan and BOYson are just annoying me to much...

    That said If I miss a stage then I ll probably be forced to watch them...
    We're in danger of confusing passion with incompetence
    - @ddraver
  • Monty Zoncolan
    Monty Zoncolan Posts: 341
    Yellow Peril wrote:
    Ms Tree wrote:
    I'm disappointed that we can no longer call Michael Mørkøv Morkov as I have already nick-named him Elric.

    Phil was all over the place with that name. At one point he used Merkew, Morkov and Mork-o in as many sentences!

    Mention of this made me think yesterday that Imlach (or the production team) might be having a bit of fun at the expense of Phil 'n' Paul. Immediately after one of the ad breaks, Gary explained that everyone had now got up to speed with the pronunciation of Morkov's surname, which he rattled off. Then immediately after, it cut to Phil resolutely sticking by the phonetic and apparently incorrect pronunciation.
  • skavanagh.bikeradar
    skavanagh.bikeradar Posts: 1,097
    Phil: "The speed is really going up as we pass through this series of bends and it could be dangerous if you aren't in the first 10 to 20 riders, it is so imporant."

    Paul: "It is imporant to be in the first 40 places in a race like this as it goes round a series of bends at speeds of up to 50 miles an hour."

    Phil: "It looks like Menchov went wide there Paul."

    Paul: "Indeed it did or is it Cunego?"

    Phil: "I think you're right Paul it is the Little Prince."

    Paul: "No it's more like a man with the riding style of one of the riders from Team Astana."

    Phil: "Race radio just confirming, Paul, that it is indeed Stannard that went wide there."

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!
  • disgruntledgoat
    disgruntledgoat Posts: 8,957
    I have "The Quest" on DVD with Phil narrating Simoni's 2003 Giro Win.

    There is a section on the Rest Day where Gibo goes for a spin and Ligget intones that "He spins the pedals and accellerates to 60kph without a sign of effort"

    Camera pans back.... He's in the little ring.
    "In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"

    @gietvangent
  • Le Commentateur
    Le Commentateur Posts: 4,099
    The Mad Rapper wrote:
    I
    I used to really enjoy their commentary, but this year they are just irritating me immensely. Not sure what the catalyst for that change is?

    Possibly it is that they have cleverly or unwittingly (you decide which) taken on the role of uncool surrogate dads, while the in-the-field presenters are more like the teenage sons larking about. Maybe it's because I'm listening to the podcast and get to hear the irreverent side of Boardman, Boulting & Rendell whereas Phil and Paul are more remote by being only heard in polite commentary mode, but their sartorial approach reinforces the family roles:

    PhilPaul.jpg

    Classic old-timer style of tucked-in-trousers shirts, whereas Ned reinforces the generational difference with his more informal look. Not sure which branch of the ITV4 family tree Gary Imlach is on. Perhaps that of a much older half-brother.
    Un uomo solo al commando
  • Yellow Peril
    Yellow Peril Posts: 4,466
    Le Commentateur wrote:
    The Mad Rapper wrote:
    I
    I used to really enjoy their commentary, but this year they are just irritating me immensely. Not sure what the catalyst for that change is?

    Possibly it is that they have cleverly or unwittingly (you decide which) taken on the role of uncool surrogate dads, while the in-the-field presenters are more like the teenage sons larking about. Maybe it's because I'm listening to the podcast and get to hear the irreverent side of Boardman, Boulting & Rendell whereas Phil and Paul are more remote by being only heard in polite commentary mode, but their sartorial approach reinforces the family roles:

    PhilPaul.jpg

    Classic old-timer style of tucked-in-trousers shirts, whereas Ned reinforces the generational difference with his more informal look. Not sure which branch of the ITV4 family tree Gary Imlach is on. Perhaps that of a much older half-brother.

    Good analogy. Phil and Paul (Grandfather and father in a werther's original way) Ned "Bart Simpson" Boulting asking if he can have his skateboard back while they wait for his older brother (Imlach) to come home from Uni on leave
    @JaunePeril

    Winner of the Bike Radar Pro Race Wiggins Hour Prediction Competition
  • MrTapir
    MrTapir Posts: 1,206
    Yellow Peril wrote:
    Le Commentateur wrote:
    The Mad Rapper wrote:
    I
    I used to really enjoy their commentary, but this year they are just irritating me immensely. Not sure what the catalyst for that change is?

    Possibly it is that they have cleverly or unwittingly (you decide which) taken on the role of uncool surrogate dads, while the in-the-field presenters are more like the teenage sons larking about. Maybe it's because I'm listening to the podcast and get to hear the irreverent side of Boardman, Boulting & Rendell whereas Phil and Paul are more remote by being only heard in polite commentary mode, but their sartorial approach reinforces the family roles:

    PhilPaul.jpg

    Classic old-timer style of tucked-in-trousers shirts, whereas Ned reinforces the generational difference with his more informal look. Not sure which branch of the ITV4 family tree Gary Imlach is on. Perhaps that of a much older half-brother.

    Good analogy. Phil and Paul (Grandfather and father in a werther's original way) Ned "Bart Simpson" Boulting asking if he can have his skateboard back while they wait for his older brother (Imlach) to come home from Uni on leave

    Phil's beer gut seems too have slipped down a bit...
  • MrTapir
    MrTapir Posts: 1,206
    Couple of good ones tonight:

    "as the riders all avoid the traffic circle" when going round a roundabout. traffic circle?

    "and Cancellara says 'right thats enough Mr Chavanel'", although massive missed opportunity to say 'monsieur Chavanel'
  • Yellow Peril
    Yellow Peril Posts: 4,466
    MrTapir wrote:
    Yellow Peril wrote:
    Le Commentateur wrote:
    The Mad Rapper wrote:
    I
    I used to really enjoy their commentary, but this year they are just irritating me immensely. Not sure what the catalyst for that change is?

    Possibly it is that they have cleverly or unwittingly (you decide which) taken on the role of uncool surrogate dads, while the in-the-field presenters are more like the teenage sons larking about. Maybe it's because I'm listening to the podcast and get to hear the irreverent side of Boardman, Boulting & Rendell whereas Phil and Paul are more remote by being only heard in polite commentary mode, but their sartorial approach reinforces the family roles:

    PhilPaul.jpg

    Classic old-timer style of tucked-in-trousers shirts, whereas Ned reinforces the generational difference with his more informal look. Not sure which branch of the ITV4 family tree Gary Imlach is on. Perhaps that of a much older half-brother.

    Good analogy. Phil and Paul (Grandfather and father in a werther's original way) Ned "Bart Simpson" Boulting asking if he can have his skateboard back while they wait for his older brother (Imlach) to come home from Uni on leave

    Phil's beer gut seems too have slipped down a bit...


    Nah he still gets wood every once in a while as he goes all misty eyed over the good old boys in blue and white. Not sure if that's his watch or a Livestrong band!
    @JaunePeril

    Winner of the Bike Radar Pro Race Wiggins Hour Prediction Competition
  • Yellow Peril
    Yellow Peril Posts: 4,466
    I predict stage 5 will be a hors catergory "Hammer down" stage for Paul. I'm off tomorrow so I'll be settling down to a feast of live ITV 4 commentary.

    Bring it on Phil and Paul!
    @JaunePeril

    Winner of the Bike Radar Pro Race Wiggins Hour Prediction Competition
  • esspeebee
    esspeebee Posts: 174
    MrTapir wrote:
    "as the riders all avoid the traffic circle" when going round a roundabout. traffic circle?
    To be fair, that one's just an Americanism. It does make sense if you're speaking the wrong language.
  • Le Commentateur
    Le Commentateur Posts: 4,099
    It's not just mere commentary, it's a sonic brand.
    Un uomo solo al commando
  • blazing_saddles
    blazing_saddles Posts: 22,725
    After this morning's new, will they announce their retirement, with immediate effect? :P
    "Science is a tool for cheaters". An anonymous French PE teacher.
  • disgruntledgoat
    disgruntledgoat Posts: 8,957
    Big George will now be George the Rat, Jonothan Vaughters will henceforth be known as Johnny the Squealer.

    Or mabe they'll just not mention the whole saga ever again...
    "In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"

    @gietvangent
  • blazing_saddles
    blazing_saddles Posts: 22,725
    disgruntledgoat wrote:
    Big George will now be George the Rat, Jonothan Vaughters will henceforth be known as Johnny the Squealer.

    Or mabe they'll just not mention the whole saga ever again...

    Yesterday, the Eurosport team were asked who they felt was the most respected rider within the peloton.
    Their answer was Big George! I'm just glad they committed to this answer, the day before this news broke. :D
    "Science is a tool for cheaters". An anonymous French PE teacher.
  • Le Commentateur
    Le Commentateur Posts: 4,099
    Blazing Saddles wrote:
    After this morning's new, will they announce their retirement, with immediate effect? :P

    [Tweet from Lionel Birnie, Cycle Sport magazine]
    On days like today, ITV commentators Bert & Ernie wear those big cones vets give to dogs after an operation, so they can't see the badness
    Un uomo solo al commando

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