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Life is Sh*te sometimes

VelonutterVelonutter Posts: 2,437 Lives Here
edited June 2012 in The bottom bracket
18 months ago my wife was diagnosed with Cancer, she fought it hard and had all the treatment and is now in remission.

Last Year I lost my mother.

This week my Boxer dog "Frank" had some heart problems and fainted a couple of times, we have been back and forth to the vets and he was making slow progress, but it was in the right direction, we went this afternoon and the vet said he is improving, so we came away smiling and looking forward to a relaxing weekend.

I hadn't been home for an hour and the vet called to say sorry, he has just got some more results and apparently Frank has haemangiosarcoma possibly the worse form of cancer out there, they have given him anything from 2-3 weeks to 2-3 months!

He's my little boy, I know he is 11 now, but it's like a member of my family is going, life is bloody Shite sometimes, I won't ride my bike until he is gone in case I'm not there when he needs me, I work from home so that makes things a little easier.

Since he collapsed at the beginning of the week, I have slept down stairs with him and had about 8 hours sleep in all that time!.

When you get to my age, your mum & dad are no longer around and you can feel so lonely, and all you have is an internet forum!


Our Frank


  • AggieboyAggieboy Posts: 3,996
    It's not just an internet forum though. We're all mates on here (most of the time :wink: ) Somewhere to have a laugh, a bit of banter and bare your soul like you have. Not good to bottle things up. Good luck, especially to Mrs Nutter.
    "There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to damage yours."
  • Cleat EastwoodCleat Eastwood Posts: 7,508
    indeed it can appear sh!te and words can appear trite. when I lost me dad a friend of mine, disabled and lord knows he's had his share of troubles, said to me - "bad things happen to good people", its of no practical help velonutter but keep talking about the bad things you seem to be going through, just giving them a voice can help you face them with more courage than you can possibly believe. Oh if you do feel really down just be grateful you don't live in Stoke. :D
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  • ddraverddraver Posts: 25,174
    Ha, Great Photo! Good Luck to you and Mrs Nutter. My Aunt had a Brain Tumour diagnosed and was, essentially, given a life sentence. The latest scan shows that the Tumour has gone so it's possible!

    Take solace in the knowledge that Frank doesn't really know what's happening to him so show him the best 3 months a dog could have!

    Keep Talking to people (virtual or not), I had some bad times a few years ago and spent a lot of time talking to friends, family and professionals and firmly believe that almost everyone i know could benefit from talking more. Even something girly, soppy and slushy like "I love you" can make that person's day, so say it!
    We're in danger of confusing passion with incompetence
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  • markos1963markos1963 Posts: 3,724
    Life can indeed seem like it's kicking you in the balls all the time. It's a terrible time for you and my heart goes out to you. My dear Dad passed away two years ago on my mums birthday ( to cancer) and then she was diagnosed with exactly the same cancer last year, luckily she has survived. I hate the word cancer now and I imagine you must as well. I love boxer dogs,my dad used to keep them, alas I don't have the space to have one and as you must know they are a heartbreak dog with a notoriously short life, just spend time with him and remember the good times you had with him before he goes.
  • cornerblockcornerblock Posts: 3,228
    Too true, life is all just ups and downs. Getting things off your chest is a must though, it lightens the load in a way. I wish you and your wife, and your 'boy' Frank all the best.
  • petemadocpetemadoc Posts: 2,667
    Wishing you, the family and the dog all the best
  • tim_wandtim_wand Posts: 2,552
    Velonutter. dont want to turn this into some kind of "black catting contest" but suffice to say mate I can empathise with you.

    My dog Jess is 12 (border terrier) and touch wood in rude health, But through all my problems this last year the one thing that never fails to make me smile is the enthusiasm and love that dog greets me with everyday.

    Frank looks a big charachter, boxers are just such amazing dogs, full of expression and fun.

    Thoughts are with you hoping for better times for you and all your family.
  • SupergooseSupergoose Posts: 1,089
    Bless Frank he looks like a cracker! Be happy your Mrs is in remission and make Franks last his best!

    Strength to carry on mate. 8)
    Rock 'n' Roule
  • VelonutterVelonutter Posts: 2,437 Lives Here
    Thanks Lads, for all your kind thoughts, your mind plays so many tricks on you, hate this hurt, but it does help to share, thank-you all!
  • alihisgreatalihisgreat Posts: 3,872
    My dog died from cancer last year.. really hits you hard (they're not called man's best friend for nothing). Especially as he was 10 at the time and I'm a young guy so he'd been around for 1/2 my life!

    Pretty much had the same experience as you and he deteriorated really quickly, collapsing etc. - had to rescue him from behind the sofa when he fell over and couldn't get his back legs going!

    carry on sleeping downstairs and make the most of it, but make sure he's not suffering; there is a point you reach where you're doing things for selfish reasons and its better to let him go - however hard that may be.
  • Frank the tankFrank the tank Posts: 6,553
    As the title says fella, life is sh1te sometimes, hopefully not all the time though.

    Good news your wife is in remission and hope things will keep going well for you both there. As for Frank that's a real bad call, he looks a fine dog and they're not called mans best friend for nowt. Don't feel silly posting on here if it helps you come to terms with what life throws at you, do it between us we have many experiences good/bad and there is always someone to offer help and support.

    All the best to you.
    Tail end Charlie

    The above post may contain traces of sarcasm or/and bullsh*t.
  • MattC59MattC59 Posts: 5,408
    Dude !!!! (come here, virtual hug !!)

    My cat (who behaves like a dog) who saw me through my practice wife, the divorce and subsequent depression, has hyperthyroidism and potentially a cancer (waiting for test results). I'll be gutted when he goes. My Mum is in remission for an aggressive tumour "the size of a size 7 training shoe" wrapped around her aorta.

    I'm not saying that other than to say I empathise with you. This may be an internet forum, but as Aggie said, we're all mates, it's good to get stuff off your chest, and there's a genuinely good core of people on here who are always here as company and an ear to bend when you need it. (There's also some idiots, but that adds to the ammusement :wink: )

    Keep this thread going, it's good to air your thoughts, it'll clear your head.

    Chin up, all the best.
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  • BobbinogsBobbinogs Posts: 4,841
    Hi there Velonutter, perhaps the way to look at it is that life is also great sometimes and that brings a balance. Think of the good times you have had with Frank (the long walks, the chewed up shoes, the mess that made you laugh/cry, etc.).

    I lost my father in law a while ago and deeply regret not spending more time out together on our bikes...but I am also really glad of the time that we did get to spend together. I now ride 2 of his old bikes so I get to say "hello" to him on a regular basis, particularly on days like yesterday when I got caught in a rainstorm that lasted 2 hours only to then be replaced by a hailstorm so harsh that it stung my legs (which had turned a blotchy purple by that point). My FIL was an old hand at cycling and when I started cycling he promised me that if I cycled regularly I would only get soaking wet 10 times a year. Well, all I can say is that cycling years must be blinking short as I usually have had my 10 by the end of March. When the thunder rang out yesterday across the Cotswolds, I am sure I heard the old censored chuckling.
  • GizmodoGizmodo Posts: 1,928
    I must admit that I haven't had the best couple of years, 2010 and 2011 were sh1te to be honest. But when I get on my bike I forget everything for few hours and if I can get out on my bike with mates as well, all in the world seem right, just for a while anyway.

  • VelonutterVelonutter Posts: 2,437 Lives Here
    Thanks for everyone's kind words, I sat up all night with him, strangely he didn't sleep much and looked at me most of the night.

    I don't think I have ever been so distraught in all my life :-( I keep pacing the room and getting upset!
  • kev77kev77 Posts: 433
    I hope your wife and the boy recovers fully from the awful disease that is C,

    I lost my grandparents to it over the past 10 years, we too had a boxer called jake who had to be put to sleep back in the mid 2000's to disease also.

    We now have a 3 year old dobermann who is treated nearly as equally as our two young sons.

    Keep your chin mate and i am sure the future will be better for you all

  • rozzer32rozzer32 Posts: 3,683
    Chin up Velonutter.

    I know it's difficult but you got to try and stay positive in these times. I hope your wife battles through and beats it.

    We have always had pets in our house from even when I was a little child and it's difficult when you can see they are ill and there is nothing do to help, you're right in that they become a member of the family.

    Good luck to you and although times are hard now I'm sure you'll be starting a new thread next year about how things have changed and how happy you are :)
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  • shouldbeinbedshouldbeinbed Posts: 2,660
    That is sh!te and it all seems to come together at times, I've got nothing to add but best wishes and good thoughts for you and yours, I've had phases where I've ranted and raved at the grossly unfair way life seemed to be piling death and misery on top of serious illness.

    We lost Dante suddenly last year, our first rescue dog since the kids were old enough to be around hounds and the boss of the other 2 we got later. He had a brain haemorrage during the night and went from absolutely fine on his walk at half 11 the night before to waking us up with his whimpering at 7am and being gone by 8.30 as we were on the way to the vet when the penny had dropped that he really wasn't well.
    It was heartbreaking at the time but there's loads of good memories and always with a smile We're waiting for the nice weather to kick in to take his ashes to Formby beach where he was in his element and we were happiest seeing him run and playing.
    I've got tears in my eyes reading Gizmondos poster whilst I've got Izzy, our latest rescue, sat over the hot water pipes at my feet, it took us a few months to come round to the idea of another dog and she's not his replacement but she fits in the hole he left.

    Keep talking, we'll keep listening.
  • essjaydeeessjaydee Posts: 917
    Indeed it can be :|

    Make the most of the time you have now with dear Frank, and cherish all the good times, the love and happiness you have shared with him. Remember that no one can ever take that away and Frank will always be a part of your lives.

    We went through a really bad patch a few years ago :(
    Lost my mum, then brother in law within 4 months of each other. Lost my son 4 months later, then father in law and sister in law in the same year. They were all taken before their time and it was truly a horrific time in our lives. Not to mention the numerous cats we have had and lost :(

    I've got tears in my eyes as I'm typing this reply :!: We all deal with our losses in different ways, as we are all different, but I hope you learn how to carry on and cope. In some ways it has made me a stronger person. I no longer get worried or stressed out, by say, work pressures, as ultimately it is insignificant to what I have already been subjected to.

    For me, the pain of the loss never goes away, but it has become easier to cope with as time passes, and I cherish the memories from all those who will always be a part of my life. No one can ever take that away from me.

    I wish you and your family all the best during these difficult times.
  • VelonutterVelonutter Posts: 2,437 Lives Here
    So sad to hear your losses essjaydee.

    Makes me feel sad that we all have to carry our sorrows!

    As we really don't know whether Frank has 2-3 Hours, 2-3, days, 2-3 weeks etc. I'm going to take him in the car every day to somewhere he used to like going, he can only walk about 100 yards slowly, but at least he isn't sat at home waiting for the inevitable, it will be almost like a mini bucket list for him!
  • CambsNewbieCambsNewbie Posts: 564
    It strikes me reading these forums how many of us have been affected by cancer in one way or another. My mother died of it when I was a baby so I never knew her. Although my father didn't die of cancer his body was riddled with it as was my maternal grandmother. In fact more members of my immediate family have died of or had cancer than not..

    And Velonutter I know completely what you are going through with your dog. I have a 9 yr old german shepherd and yesterday he had to go to the vet to have a lump cut out (been sent away for testing). Bentley has no fear of anything, other dogs, cars, people, just happily chases his ball oblivious to all. Yesterday leaving him at the vets and seeing how frightened he was nearly broke my heart.

    Luckily he generally has very good health but I'm aware of him getting older and slowing down and I'm dreading watching him slowly deteriorate over-time and not be the dog I remember with endless energy and zest for everything in his life.

    This year we are going to Cornwall for our holiday, renting a dog-friendly cottage and I can't wait for long walks along the cliff paths and seeing him swimming in the sea again. I want to enjoy all these moments together while we can.

    So enjoy the next few months as much as you can, remember he picks up on your feelings and if you are sad he will know that.
  • mallorcajeffmallorcajeff Posts: 1,489
    Both my parents in remission with cancer at the moment and eveything they touch turns to 5hit at the moment I know how you feel. i want to move back to the uk to spend more time around them but due to the finiances of the world at the moment im stuck in mallorca.

    I have a dog (colin) and he has been diganosed with Leishmania a disease from gnats in the mediteranian. I have had to give him injections every night for 30 days and I know how your feeling. Me and the Mrs are always rowing whcih is why I go out on my bike for 6-7 hours every saturday and sunday and one of the reasons I took up cycling to get some peace. At times it does feel the world is agaisnt you but I think as a race we tend to remember the bad things more than the good (I do anyway) But I know its hard but chin up mate It will be sad when hes gone but just think of all the good times you have had with him. I know what you mean about the forum I have lived in Mallorca for 3 and a half years and dont have a single "mate" here and have met three people out here from the forum so its my life line!

    Chin up mate and grin and bear it things always turn around in the end.

    Hes a great looking dog! and nice to have a normal name too!
  • MettanMettan Posts: 2,103
    All the best m8 - we went through the same 3 and a half years ago with our dog - wish I'd died that day and not her.... she meant everything to me. She was over 14 years old and had had a great life, but, I never saw it coming.
  • VelonutterVelonutter Posts: 2,437 Lives Here
    Cheers Jeff, Yep was supposed to try and meet up with you this week, but I cancelled my Majorca trip just so I could be with him and my wife, sorry Mate, maybe next year?

    The Kids chose his name cos they thought he was daft, got that right in one!

    Sad for you Mettan, we all know that they will go normally earlier than us, but it doesn't make it any easier!
  • ryan_w-2ryan_w-2 Posts: 1,162
    Sitting here in the office with tears in my eyes. Dogs are as good as family members. I've had dogs all my life, currently have 2 Pugs and my puppy French Bulldog (I've always had GSDs before).

    Dumbo was run over by my girlfriend just before Xmas (and my b'day). He's got a really bad habit of chasing cars up the driveway. He was coughing up blood, couldn't walk and had lost all his teeth.

    I took him to the vets wrapped up in a towel on my lap, dropped him off inside and then had to run outside. I burst into tears (I won't cry in front of people, especially my good lady) and felt sick to my stomach.

    He was x-rayed and fully examined. After all the trauma, he didn't even suffer from a single broken bone! The blood he was coughing up was from bruised lungs.

    He's fine now but stays well clear on moving cars!


    I pray that your wife fully recovers and your dog pulls through.
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  • crumbschiefcrumbschief Posts: 3,399
    Indeed,the pacing and waiting is very common with such feeling.Take care mate and i hope you and your dog are fine.
  • mattshropsmattshrops Posts: 1,134
    Dogs ARE special, I believe its called unconditional love.

    Cancer is a censored ,dad died 3 weeks back. So many people affected by this. Really hope it works out for you.

    Sometimes you have to find the joy in the little things.Stood under a tree in the park(walking the dog) while it rained, and there was a mist hanging over the river, I had a real glad to be alive moment.

    Good luck
    Death or Glory- Just another Story
  • golfergmcgolfergmc Posts: 426
    I have tried to type this four times and have not been able to find the right words, still not sure I have.
    My father passed away in July 2011 and it hit me like a train wreck, not a moment goes past without thinking of him.
    My mother-in-law had cancer and has just got the all clear, so things are looking up.
    My thoughts go out to you, I hope your wife recovers quickly and do all you can for Frank( he is a lovely looking boxer). I have just finished playing with my princess Lucy( also a boxer) who has been one of the few constants in my life from July last year, waiting at the gate every night when I come home from work and always bouncing around and ready to play. She is 7 years old now and is in the latter half of her life and i`m dreading the day when she goes, reading this thread today made me spoil her even more and i`m sure Frank has been spoilt more now than ever. Just content yourself that with you as his owner he could not have had a better life and if he could talk he would more than likely agree.
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  • tlw1tlw1 Posts: 21,102
    Sorry mate, sad news. Adore boxers and as a kid we had a couple of them and they are like stars..... Shine brightly, but burn out too quickly
  • mallorcajeffmallorcajeff Posts: 1,489
    next year velo its a date.
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