Life is Sh*te sometimes

Velonutter

Picked his ashes up today, oh f*ck that hurt, can't believe that my 33kg boy now fits into a box 6x4x4!

The pain eases a little each day, I still wake up every morning getting ready to let him out for a wee and go to bed every night expecting him to jump up on the bed and get in between my missus and I, best contraceptive man could invent!!!

Working from home and when everyone has gone out I hear creaks and noises in the home like he has jumped off the bed upstairs, God I miss him!

I suppose the hardest thing is wondering whether he has gone somewhere great or into a black void, I really hope that there is life after death.

My family have been great, we all seem to be walking round a bit ethereal, almost zombie like, it's helped getting some miles back into the legs, even if I did get absolutely soaked last night on our normal Thursday night 40 miler.

More ramblings...So life goes on, all of your kind words and the sharing of experiences has helped immensely.

I need to get back to playing the Sax, but last time I played he howled in tune, maybe he was trying to tell me something :roll:

To others facing the same torture, it is hell, you feel like you are tearing your heart in two, it's now 10 days since he has gone, the tears are slowly becoming less and less and I find myself keep trying to keep him alive in my mind trying to breath his own unique smell on my clothes, I still find loads of his hairs everywhere...as people have said take one day at a time and don't be afraid to share your sadness.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kindness.

Best wishes,

John

p9uma

Velonutter wrote:

Picked his ashes up today, oh f*ck that hurt, can't believe that my 33kg boy now fits into a box 6x4x4!

The pain eases a little each day, I still wake up every morning getting ready to let him out for a wee and go to bed every night expecting him to jump up on the bed and get in between my missus and I, best contraceptive man could invent!!!

Working from home and when everyone has gone out I hear creaks and noises in the home like he has jumped off the bed upstairs, God I miss him!

I suppose the hardest thing is wondering whether he has gone somewhere great or into a black void, I really hope that there is life after death.

My family have been great, we all seem to be walking round a bit ethereal, almost zombie like, it's helped getting some miles back into the legs, even if I did get absolutely soaked last night on our normal Thursday night 40 miler.

More ramblings...So life goes on, all of your kind words and the sharing of experiences has helped immensely.

I need to get back to playing the Sax, but last time I played he howled in tune, maybe he was trying to tell me something :roll:

To others facing the same torture, it is hell, you feel like you are tearing your heart in two, it's now 10 days since he has gone, the tears are slowly becoming less and less and I find myself keep trying to keep him alive in my mind trying to breath his own unique smell on my clothes, I still find loads of his hairs everywhere...as people have said take one day at a time and don't be afraid to share your sadness.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kindness.

Best wishes,

John

I've been reading these posts with interest, and your loss of your beautiful dog has been heartbreaking. I have a ten year old mongrel who is the light of mine and the enemies life. She's ten and slowing down but got a lot of life in her yet, but we know her day will come and it will a wrench. To that end we got another puppy about four months ago so that when NettieTheDog does go, we have another dog to help us get through it.

I wonder, is to soon for you to get another dog?

Velonutter

Cheers Carl, when the time is right we will get another dog, when that will be I'm not sure, life is still raw inside and with all the family as well, we will get one, but not yet.

Technik

Velonuter - I also believe that there is something out there, something that others call God. If you look at buddhism then you will find that when an animal dies it progresses up, so for example, a mouse will become an eagle in the next life. What is also important is that if an animal is very inteligent and shows human-like behaviour then it (or should I type he or she) will be human in the next life. I'm sure that your boxer starts a new and very exciting life right at this moment, somewhere on the other side of our planet, in his new form. If you think of his character then you can just imagine what kind of "person" he is going to be whatever form he takes. Just imagine him being a little asian girl somewhere in Japan running around and causing chaos I believe that our bodies are only means to transport our souls in and that every one of us had hundreds of forms before we landed in this mammal form called human

golfergmc

You will never replace Frank, but when you decide the time is right to get another dog don`t forget how good the Boxer breed is, just caught mine with her head in the bin trying to get bones from the bbq ribs :roll:

Soni

Velonutter, sorry to hear what you have been through mate and what you are going through right now with Frank.

It might sound stupid to some, but when i see a dog, i don't just see a dog, i make some type of magical emotional connection with them, i've had dogs all my life, mainly Border Collies, and have two now, we kiss on the mouth, cuddle, wrestle and play, i have so much respect for them and i know they feel the same for me to, and I can honestly say that they are not dogs to me, they are my best friends.

I really feel for you mate, the respect you have for Frank I bet he has 10 x for you, enjoy the time you have left together and hold those memories forever.

Soni

Edit: Sorry mate, just read the full thread and realise Frank has now passed.

MattC59

Shit times !! Hope you're ok.

millymoose

Velo, I lost my 16 year old last week and feel your pain. I also hear her jump off the bed when I am working from home and her collar rattle. She is now bacl home in the cabinet and I will forever re,ber her until my time comes.

The following gives me comfort and I hope it does to you and others;

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Velonutter

Sorry to hear that Milly, thanks for the poem, how I pray that is true.

Take Care and cherish the 16 years you had together.

Velonutter

essjaydee wrote:

Indeed it can be

Make the most of the time you have now with dear Frank, and cherish all the good times, the love and happiness you have shared with him. Remember that no one can ever take that away and Frank will always be a part of your lives.

We went through a really bad patch a few years ago
Lost my mum, then brother in law within 4 months of each other. Lost my son 4 months later, then father in law and sister in law in the same year. They were all taken before their time and it was truly a horrific time in our lives. Not to mention the numerous cats we have had and lost

I've got tears in my eyes as I'm typing this reply :!: We all deal with our losses in different ways, as we are all different, but I hope you learn how to carry on and cope. In some ways it has made me a stronger person. I no longer get worried or stressed out, by say, work pressures, as ultimately it is insignificant to what I have already been subjected to.

For me, the pain of the loss never goes away, but it has become easier to cope with as time passes, and I cherish the memories from all those who will always be a part of my life. No one can ever take that away from me.

I wish you and your family all the best during these difficult times.

essjaydee, I'm so sorry I missed this post in my own selfish grief, I really feel your pain and for you to go through what you have is a true nightmare.

I sought solace today with this thread as I was having a bad time reflecting and had just watched a small video of my Frank and needed a release.

I hope I never will feel pain as much as you went through, my true heart goes out to you.

For all the other kind posters who gave me strength, I truly hope that you pains have eased.

Thanks for everything you did for me, I owe you all big style!

CHRISNOIR

Velonutter wrote:

Well I had the tattoo done today, no one had told me that Tattooing directly onto the Sternum can be very painful!

I bet Frank was looking down thinking, how stupid I was.

Somehow feels quite comforting knowing that a little bit of him is attached to my body for eternity, each paw was 7.5cm high and it took a full 2 hours to tattoo!

That's so cool, what a great tattoo idea! Any pics?

Velonutter

CHRISNOIR wrote:

Velonutter wrote:

Well I had the tattoo done today, no one had told me that Tattooing directly onto the Sternum can be very painful!

I bet Frank was looking down thinking, how stupid I was.

Somehow feels quite comforting knowing that a little bit of him is attached to my body for eternity, each paw was 7.5cm high and it took a full 2 hours to tattoo!

That's so cool, what a great tattoo idea! Any pics?

When I grab a shave it's somewhat comforting to know that part of him is with me!

DIESELDOG

Velonutter wrote:

CHRISNOIR wrote:

Velonutter wrote:

Well I had the tattoo done today, no one had told me that Tattooing directly onto the Sternum can be very painful!

I bet Frank was looking down thinking, how stupid I was.

Somehow feels quite comforting knowing that a little bit of him is attached to my body for eternity, each paw was 7.5cm high and it took a full 2 hours to tattoo!

That's so cool, what a great tattoo idea! Any pics?

When I grab a shave it's somewhat comforting to know that part of him is with me!

Woah!!! That is a gorgeous tattoo! A lovely way to have your own memories. And no better place to have that done.

Hope all is well, and also that you feel up to having another pooch as soon as you're all ready. Getting one too soon can be a wrong move.

Love n hugs

DD

essjaydee

Velonutter wrote:

essjaydee wrote:

Indeed it can be

Make the most of the time you have now with dear Frank, and cherish all the good times, the love and happiness you have shared with him. Remember that no one can ever take that away and Frank will always be a part of your lives.

We went through a really bad patch a few years ago
Lost my mum, then brother in law within 4 months of each other. Lost my son 4 months later, then father in law and sister in law in the same year. They were all taken before their time and it was truly a horrific time in our lives. Not to mention the numerous cats we have had and lost

I've got tears in my eyes as I'm typing this reply :!: We all deal with our losses in different ways, as we are all different, but I hope you learn how to carry on and cope. In some ways it has made me a stronger person. I no longer get worried or stressed out, by say, work pressures, as ultimately it is insignificant to what I have already been subjected to.

For me, the pain of the loss never goes away, but it has become easier to cope with as time passes, and I cherish the memories from all those who will always be a part of my life. No one can ever take that away from me.

I wish you and your family all the best during these difficult times.

essjaydee, I'm so sorry I missed this post in my own selfish grief, I really feel your pain and for you to go through what you have is a true nightmare.

I sought solace today with this thread as I was having a bad time reflecting and had just watched a small video of my Frank and needed a release.

I hope I never will feel pain as much as you went through, my true heart goes out to you.

For all the other kind posters who gave me strength, I truly hope that you pains have eased.

Thanks for everything you did for me, I owe you all big style!

Thanks for the kind words
Grief is a very selfish thing and you have to deal with it in your own way. Loving the tattoo 8) A very fitting tribute.
I was thinking of having one of my son, but still haven't done it yet. Your post has made me think maybe it's time I did it

Velonutter

Thanks DD, appreciate you kind words.

essjaydee, I was lying in bed last night thinking about my tat and it was quite comforting to know that I will never forget Frank, don't delay, go and have that tat done. Do yourself a favour though and ignore the hard men, if it is going to be put in a sensitive place, then get them to spray some Novocaine or similar on beforehand, it stopped me fidgeting and allowed the tattooist to do a proper job without having to worry about my whingeing .

Safe riding everyone and thanks big style for all your kind words, they really helped. 8)

Velonutter

Well it is seven weeks since Frank passed away and although we can never replace him it has left a very big space in our lives.

On FB I am friends with Boxer Rescue Liverpool and they advertised last week that they were desperate to find homes for two elderly Boxers. I wasn't really sure whether I could love another dog/s, but people said we were being selfish as to deprive another animal of the love we had for Frank would be wrong.

So along come Lucy & Macey at a rescue home in Swansea, they are sisters of 8 & 9 and inseparable and it would have been cruel for anyone to have separated them after being together all their lives, so Deborah & I travelled down on Saturday night and stayed in a hotel so that we could get there sharpish yesterday morning.

All that Lucy & Macey wanted was a bit of loving, they had been neglected and in urgent need of care, Lucy is about 10kgs under weight and Macey about 5Kg, they haven't known real love for many many years, so in the winter of their Lives it is an honour and a privilege that my family and I decided to care for them and more importantly love them.

Their previous owner, started work and his father came to let them out each day until he had bad health and then were left to sleep in a run through out all weathers, we're not sure what has caused their weight loss, whether it is bad health or simply wanting some love, so we saw my vet this PM and he is a specialist with Boxers, so hopefully we will sort them out quickly. I can't get a minutes peace with them, they seem so happy now and probably can't believe their luck.

Well last night was interesting to say the least, they went to bed in the Hall and landing, I was woken by my daughter at 5 as she was going to work saying that she needed help as they were mugging her, sorry loving her, she'd been gone 20 minutes and the Burglar Alarm went off, Macey needed to go and had opened the lounge door, unfortunately she had a couple of big accidents....arrghh! Oh well all sorted, they don't like being told to go out in the garden, probably because of bad memories. I left them in the kitchen whilst I cleaned up and Lucy nicked all the bread with Macey as her accomplice in crime!

I Slept the rest of the night on the sofa and they settled down. Feeding time was like being at the zoo, they were so hungry, woofing the food down like it was there only chance to eat! Oh well the first 24 hours is supposed to be the hardest!



So out of extreme sadness comes some goodness, thank-you all for helping me through this time of grieving.

DIESELDOG

What a fantastic picture and well done to you for doing that, they look so comfy. I really respect you, after losing a Staffie at the grand age of 14 1/5 ( the half is always important) I couldn't live without another woofit so ended up with Diesel, joined a year later by Billy.

They piss me off on a regular basis but Diesel is the archetypal Doggy Dentures dog, and Billy is, well, just Billy really.

Nice one and I hope they live out the rest of theirs lives with you.

Love n hugs

DD

mattshrops

That pic made me laugh. You in trouble now- oh yes

Cleat Eastwood

brilliant - bet if dogs had wishes they wouldnt wish for a better home - enjoy their company.

oscarbudgie

Jeez lighten up, its just a dog

LeicesterLad

oscarbudgie wrote:

Jeez lighten up, its just a dog

Wow. What a f*cking great post. Must remember to look up the other 700+

oscarbudgie

just asking for a bit of perspective, Ain't a 'little boy' its a (dead) DOG.

graham.

LeicesterLad wrote:

oscarbudgie wrote:

Jeez lighten up, its just a dog

Wow. What a f*cking great post. Must remember to look up the other 700+

Jeez lighten up, it's just a troll!

LeicesterLad

Graham. wrote:

LeicesterLad wrote:

oscarbudgie wrote:

Jeez lighten up, its just a dog

Wow. What a f*cking great post. Must remember to look up the other 700+

Jeez lighten up, it's just a troll!

I really do need to learn not to bite! :oops:

Velonutter

LeicesterLad wrote:

Graham. wrote:

LeicesterLad wrote:

oscarbudgie wrote:

Jeez lighten up, its just a dog

Wow. What a f*cking great post. Must remember to look up the other 700+

Jeez lighten up, it's just a troll!

I really do need to learn not to bite! :oops:

No Leicester Lad, you are quite right, troll or not a little respect would have been in order by Oscarbudgie

I do hope that when he gets hurt that some wise guy doesn't try to make a joke out of it!