Cycling or divorce
patbriggsmbr
Posts: 43
I've been cycling now for 30+ years and I've been married for 21 of those years (I'm 46 now) and my partner has hated me cycling since she has known me. To be honest im bike mad, I go out whenever I can, I just love everything about it. My wife however hates it with a passion! Over the last 5 + years her attitude towards me cycling has now got to a state where she has now given me an ultimatum which is cycling or her.
I do go out walking with her and go shopping etc but she's hates me cycling and says I'm sad and boring!
I personally think its her who's sad and boring as all she likes to do is either sleep or shop online.
Has anyone out there had the same problem and what did you choose?
I do go out walking with her and go shopping etc but she's hates me cycling and says I'm sad and boring!
I personally think its her who's sad and boring as all she likes to do is either sleep or shop online.
Has anyone out there had the same problem and what did you choose?
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Imagine your life with out cycling, how would it be ?
It sounds to me like she's using the cycling as an excuse for an ultimatum.
That said, I am in no way qualified in psychology, or marriage councelling, so it's probably best to ignore everythign I say.
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved
Also as long as you're spending time with her and not just all your time cycling I can't understand her problem. Getting a balance is critical. And you will have to sacrifice some riding time for family time.
But if you do get divorced then make sure only your bikes are in your name, then when she has to have half your stuff she can have half your bikes. That will please her no end and also give you an excuse to buy new bikes. Win win
I`m not Graham Norton.
Summer B,man Team Carbon LE#222
Winter Alan Top Cross
All rounder Spec. Allez.
I suggest you talk to your wife for a start and find out why she feels this way. It sounds like that someone is feeling neglected. You go for walks and shopping, what about for meals or drinks and/or out with friends socially?
There are one or two here who have been through this, but every relationship is different dependent on the needs of the individuals. Only the two of you can work out where this goes. Also do not forget this is a two party thing, not usually the behaviour of just one person.
I do hope that this was meant as humour as it is posted in Cake Stop.
If this is real, good luck.
As said though - a forum isnt the best place to sort your marriage out. Thats what the lads down the pub are for (or are you banned from the pub by her already)??
momentarily from the herd and thinks for himself.
Then post pics of her norks up here.
That'll learn her.
HTH
Y
Any partner who tries to stop you doing something you love* should be told to censored right off, no matter how much you love them or how long you've been together.
*apart from things that are obviously harmful, like being a crack addict, a binge drinker or being physically violent towards other people.
She knew when she married you that you loved cycling, so she should shut up and accept it, what's her problem?
Some women think they can mould a man the way they want him and get upset when they can see that they can't. If she is so insecure that she needs to be the centre of attention and can't accept you can love both her and cycling, that's her problem, not yours.
You'd be miserable if you didn't cycle but she'd be happy because she'd feel that she'd 'won', then it'd be you who'd want a divorce.
Marje Proops
Cleat Eastwood: agony uncle to the mamil masses.....
Just thought I would post a question if anyone else had had this problem. She's very controlling by the way.
I think the bike brings more to life than she ever does.
Then post pictures of her and her sister's norks on here.
HTH
Y
What are you saying rajMAN? A new shed with a solid concrete base.
hope this helps!
Appreciating the fact it is easy for me to say it but as far as I'm concerned as soon as anyone is prepared to openly call me sad for the things I am passionate about it is time to set the wheels in motion to get them out of my life completely, be it a girlfriend or otherwise. I don't expect everyone to share my interests but the very least I expect is for them not to belittle me about it and respect me for what I am.
[Cleat hat on]unless the norks really are first class of course.[/Cleat hat off]
Well I was initially gonna say Ditch the B*tch!! :shock:
Maybe have a section like "Dear Miriam" has in The Sun.
"Dear Cleat" in Cycling Plus every month.
Surely he'd be better off telling her something she understands.
The fact that it doesn't involve her riles her.
Could you live without cycling?
Could you live without your wife?
Could you call her bluff?
What you do with this information is up to you.
This may be a resource to deploy but it seems, from your OP, that this is an unhappy woman setting out to equalize the unhappiness. At least with Relate the bones of the disharmony can be identified. Good luck.
You could both sleep with the sister and post pics of her norks: total familial humiliation that only sinks in fully as they realise the bank accounts are empty and you fit your new Obermayer IIIs.
HTH
Y
Summer B,man Team Carbon LE#222
Winter Alan Top Cross
All rounder Spec. Allez.