2011-2012 Expectant parent (cyclists) club!

Flyingbogey

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Congrats Snooks.

Flyingbogey wrote:

I love a happy ending. Congrats. Wait till she's smiling at you just cos your her dad, priceless. I have even got over the fact my 3 month old is a ginge.

Milkman?

All local carrot tops are under suspicion, we're off to Barbados at the end of the month, how high does sunscreen go?

veronese68

Congratulations Snooks. Feeding routine, hah! I seem to recall the first week with our eldest was more like constant panic. I think all the advice has changed now and you're meant to feed at regular times, not just when the baby is hungry. Seems bonkers to me.
Congratulations again.

rjsterry

Veronese68 wrote:

Congratulations Snooks. Feeding routine, hah! I seem to recall the first week with our eldest was more like constant panic. I think all the advice has changed now and you're meant to feed at regular times, not just when the baby is hungry. Seems bonkers to me.
Congratulations again.

There are different schools of thought on feeding, particularly among midwives and health visitors: the feed on demand lot think the routine lot are a load of obsessives with fascist tendencies, and the routine followers think the feed on demand bunch are a load of flaky hippies. Do whatever seems to work, so long as the littl'un is getting enough to eat

veronese68

rjsterry wrote:

Do whatever seems to work, so long as the littl'un is getting enough to eat

Couldn't agree more.

asprilla

Veronese68 wrote:

rjsterry wrote:

Do whatever seems to work, so long as the littl'un is getting enough to eat

Couldn't agree more.

True.

The Mighty Pickle was 5 weeks premature and feeding through a nose tube. After 10 days in hospital she wasn't taking to breast feeding and they won't let's you out until the baby is feeding normally. We switched to bottle so we could leave and one of the midwives said 'Oh, you are taking the cheating way out are you?'

God I was angry.

Within 30 minutes of being home in a comfortable environment she was breast feeding fine.

DonDaddyD

Mine was breast feeding in hospital.. when we got home the milk came in and he didn't get on with it - throwing tantruns. Broke Mrs DDD's heart but she had to give him the bottle. No easy way about it.

It's not failure either.

The lil'un goes every 2 - 4 hrs between feeds he lets us know he is hungry in a variety of ways. I'm getting a little stricter and trying to stick to the guidelines and not his demands.

In terms of sharing the feeds i mean how do you share the feeds with your partner?

DonDaddyD

Mine was breast feeding in hospital.. when we got home the milk came in and he didn't get on with it - throwing tantruns. Broke Mrs DDD's heart but she had to give him the bottle. No easy way about it.

It's not failure either.

The lil'un goes every 2 - 4 hrs between feeds he lets us know he is hungry in a variety of ways. I'm getting a little stricter and trying to stick to the guidelines and not his demands.

In terms of sharing the feeds i mean how do you share the feeds with your partner?

veronese68

Asprilla wrote:

We switched to bottle so we could leave and one of the midwives said 'Oh, you are taking the cheating way out are you?'

God I was angry.

This is really annoying. With a first child you are invariably nervous. The advice of professionals that should know better can be appalling.
Our first struggled to feed, wife was in pain and bleeding. He wouldn't sleep well at night. Midwives and health visitors insisted on persevering with breast feeding. Eventually we were told "he's not putting on enough weight you need to take him to the doctor"
So, worried sick we went to the doctor. He spoke to my wife, examined the baby and told us to switch to a bottle as he wasn't feeding and she was in pain. Baby was then taking loads and was sleeping at night.
A week later the health visitor said "he's putting on too much weight, you need to take him to the doctor." I thought he was probably just putting on the weight he needed to catch up but figured she was the professional.
Went to the doctor and he told us he was fine and was just catching up. He got up to the 99th percentile and 13 years later is still well up there and eating like a horse.
Common sense, natural instinct and gut feeling shouldn't be overlooked. People have been bringing up babies for quite some time. Don't let professionals bully you into what they want if it's obviously not right for you.

snooks

Good to see it's not just us having an interesting time.

4th day in and things are going well, I was expecting to be a zombie, living in a slum by now, but I'm finding enough time to keep the house tidy, cook meals and get time with Ella.

My wife is still breast feeding, which has been a bit of hit and miss, and a cause of worry, we weren't sure whether Ella was taking enough milk, (graphic alert-no poo for 20 hours and dark strong smelling pee) so we called the breast feeding counsellor who told us how to spoon feed the colustrum, she came around the next day and gave us some more advice which has been great. Now peeing and pooing like a trooper. Nappy Russian Roulette is the new game in the Snook household! Milk has now come in, who need silicone implants?

Our biggest hurdle has been being able to put her down. For the first 48-60 hours we took it in turns holding her for a couple of hours while the other got some rest. We treated it like a watch system on our boat so we're kind of used to sleep deprivation for a couple of days, but when you have something so beautiful and wonderful in front of you it's hard to sleep during the day, although Ella seems to do nothing but sleep, with the occasional look around, or gripe when we change her nappy. My wife had got her to rest in the Moses basket for an hour or so once. But we think we have cracked that too.

We have been followed since the second home birth midwife visit by a student midwife called Carla, she's a trained neonatal nurse, and she has been fantastic, texting to see how we are getting on, giving us advise, there to answer questions. In the hospital she was able to go into theatre with my wife to comfort and support her, chase up notes etc, she came around last night after her work at the hospital with a present, and thanks to her my wife were able to sleep most of the way though the night together.

Here's how to settle the a newborn away from you....it works, well it worked on the 3rd day for us cos that was the first time we tried it, and I can't believe no one else had told us...so here goes. Pick up baby which two hands under her back (like a forklift with fingers spread, supporting her head) and lay her down in the Moses basket or crib, keep your hands there until she has stopped waving around and is relaxed, then slowly take your hands out the rest them flat on top of of her lightly for a minute. If she stirs again, rest one hand on top of her until she relaxes again. Also don't speak quietly when they are sleeping, put on some music, watch the tv etc, this gets them used to noise while they are asleep.

Now we have her settled in the night it seems strange sleeping with out her. I was cradling the duvet last night when Ella was stirring in her crib, my wife asked me if I had her on me and I said yes, in my semi awake state! I was obviously dreaming about cradling her and was convinced I still was. My wife checked the crib and Ella was sleeping soundly there.

I'm totally smitten with our new daughter.

rjsterry

The reason they are so rigid on making you stay in until the baby is feeding properly is that if you go home with the baby not feeding properly, it is much more likely to develop into a problem and end up with the baby back in hospital. Mum will not then be able to stay overnight with him/her as he/she will not be on the maternity ward. That said, certain midwives can be - let's be charitable - less sensitive than they might be to the effect of anxiousness on first time parents.

BTW, did anyone else see that programme a while back with Dr Alice Roberts looking at the origins of the human race? One programme looked at how much time as a species we put in to raising our offspring, and looked at a remote African tribe (the Hadza I think), where children were exclusively breast-fed until the age of about 4 or 5 IIRC. Dr Alice almost got told off by one of the mums for leaving her child at home with his father.

ETA: This was it I think: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b013gmh1/episodes/guide

el_presidente

What a lovely tale Snooks.... here's mine from last night
18.00 - bath 6 month old
18.10 - 6 month old starts screeching, bath 2 year old
18.30 - give milk to 6 month old, she stops screeching. 2 year old runs round causing havoc.
18.45 - 6 month old has finished milk and is fast asleep. Put her softly & gently in her cot. She snaps awake and starts screeching.
18.50 - ignore 6 month old screeching and attempt to read bed-time story to 2 year old. He is singularly uninterested.
19.00 - Dump 2 year old in his bed. Retrive 6 month old (still screeching). Lie on bed with 6 month old, we both fall asleep. Woken up by wife. Finally successfully transfer her to cot. 2 year old also asleep.
19.30 - Civilised dinner with wife. Wash up. Hang up 4th load of washing today. Put bins out. Do recycling.
21.00 - Lie down for some quiet time reading a book. Eyes feeling heavy....
22.30 - wake up fully clothed when wife comes to bed. Get changed, brush teeth, back to bed
23.30 - woken up by 6 month old crying. get up, give her a milk. She goes straight back to sleep.
04.00 - woken up by wife. 6 month old is crying again. Apparently it's still my turn. Go downstairs, get milk. Back upstairs, 2 year old has also woken up. Settle him down. Change 6 months old's nappy. Give her a milk. She is now wide awake. Lie down with her in the bed.
06.30 - alarm goes off.
06.50 - leave house. Everyone else still asleep.

rjsterry

el_p's version sounds more familiar at the moment
Eldest's first day at pre-school today - will speak to Mrs RJS at lunchtime to see if all went well or was more screaming-banshee.

DonDaddyD

Mine has developed a habit of screaming through the night unless you are holding him or he is being fed.

First time ever I was glad to be going to work.

I'm gonna have him from 6/7pm unil 12pm so that Ms DDD can get some sleep. May even do the 4am feed as well.

clarkey cat

Question for parents:

Do you (or will you) let your grandparents have your child overnight / for a weekend?

We do with our son but I met up with my godmother yesterday and her son won't let her have her grandson (2.5 yrs old). She got quite teary. I've heard this quite alot - grandparents not being allowed to have the kids overnight.

Thoughts?

asprilla

rjsterry wrote:

The reason they are so rigid on making you stay in until the baby is feeding properly is that if you go home with the baby not feeding properly, it is much more likely to develop into a problem and end up with the baby back in hospital. Mum will not then be able to stay overnight with him/her as he/she will not be on the maternity ward.

Keeping you in hospital so the baby can feed is fair enough, it's the manner in which they force breast feeding at you (figuratively) beyond the point where it may be helpful that causes problems and may be upsetting.

It's worth pointing out that we could have been out of hospital within three days if we had gone straight to bottle, but the staff were pushing BF and we submitted. After three days Mrs A got pushed off the maternity ward; TMP was sent back to the premature ward and Mrs A was faced with the prospect of having to leave her there and come back to visit and feed every four hours.

Fortunately it was a specialist premature unit that received babies from all over the country and as a result had a flat for parents to stay. One room came up there, but I wasn't allowed to stay and TMP wasn't allowed to stay in the room.

It was painful and depressing.

DonDaddyD

clarkey cat wrote:

Question for parents:

Do you (or will you) let your grandparents have your child overnight / for a weekend?

We do with our son but I met up with my godmother yesterday and her son won't let her have her grandson (2.5 yrs old). She got quite teary. I've heard this quite alot - grandparents not being allowed to have the kids overnight.

Thoughts?

I think you will always feel a little uncomfotable leaving your child overnight with people you don't essentially know, even if it is your other half's parents. They didn't raise you so how do you truly know what they're like.

I think at 2.5yrs old there has to be an underlying reason that's not being discussed.

DonDaddyD

Asprilla wrote:

rjsterry wrote:

The reason they are so rigid on making you stay in until the baby is feeding properly is that if you go home with the baby not feeding properly, it is much more likely to develop into a problem and end up with the baby back in hospital. Mum will not then be able to stay overnight with him/her as he/she will not be on the maternity ward.

Keeping you in hospital so the baby can feed is fair enough, it's the manner in which they force breast feeding at you (figuratively) beyond the point where it may be helpful that causes problems and may be upsetting.

It's worth pointing out that we could have been out of hospital within three days if we had gone straight to bottle, but the staff were pushing BF and we submitted.

As good as formula is I'm of the thought that breast milk is best. That said there isn't - as far as I am aware - any conclusive evidence to prove this, yet. So I'll boil it down to the feel-good factor of knowing the baby is having nature's milk.

While I think every mother should at least try to breast feed the decision should be the parents (mothers), always.

I do get a little annoyed that they force breast feeding down your throat and make you feel like your EVIL for choosing/not being able to do so.

I spend far more time with my son as a result of him being breastfed. It's nice to know that both mother and father can calm/soothe/play and look after him by generally sharing the load.

Medders

Just thought I would share my experience so far: my boy (our first) is now 5 months old. Am properly amazing experience for sure. Breast feeding was a trauma tho - the wife really tried to persevere with it but the boy just used to freak out as soon as he went near a nipple (I will remind him of that when he is 15!) and the milk supply was v low. so after 6 weeks of struggle and mental anguish we were left with little option but the bottle and formula.

Not looked back since - he has piled on weight (from a v low base), v happy smiley and (fingers crossed) healthy. The 4am feed was dropped at his instigation as about 11 weeks and since then he has been sleeping pretty well from 7.30pm to 8.30am morning (I dream feed him at 11pm). We have stuck rigidly to feed routines and quantities and he never now cries for food - it just arrives on schedule. About to start weaning so our happy routine may well be subject to change...

We share feeding (which has helped me bond with the boy) and care except during the working week when the wife does everything except the 11pm feed and anything required during the night is her responsibility. When she goes back to work this will change ofc.

Teething has been a pita which manageable - the chew teething toys and Teetha sachets have been a life-saver and highly recommended. But we avoid medicating in any way if at all possible (although a pharmacist friend of ours reckons Teetha actually has no active ingredient which is weird given how effective it seems to be and I would not have thought placebo would work on babies).

As for CC's question about grandparents babysitting over night - hell yeah! Already happened. Anyone who has had kids and is willing can come on over and babysit as far as I am concerned. But I realise that not everyone is as chilled out about this sort of thing as we are.

We are thinking about a second (and last) - not sure whether having them close together is a good idea or best to allow a 2-3 year gap. I am thinking close together may be better to get the early intensive stuff over as quickly as possible and hopefully they would amuse each other and get on better if they are closer in age. Any views/experiences on this?

el_presidente

el_presidente wrote:

What a lovely tale Snooks.... here's mine from last night
18.00 - bath 6 month old
18.10 - 6 month old starts screeching, bath 2 year old
18.30 - give milk to 6 month old, she stops screeching. 2 year old runs round causing havoc.
18.45 - 6 month old has finished milk and is fast asleep. Put her softly & gently in her cot. She snaps awake and starts screeching.
18.50 - ignore 6 month old screeching and attempt to read bed-time story to 2 year old. He is singularly uninterested.
19.00 - Dump 2 year old in his bed. Retrive 6 month old (still screeching). Lie on bed with 6 month old, we both fall asleep. Woken up by wife. Finally successfully transfer her to cot. 2 year old also asleep.
19.30 - Civilised dinner with wife. Wash up. Hang up 4th load of washing today. Put bins out. Do recycling.
21.00 - Lie down for some quiet time reading a book. Eyes feeling heavy....
22.30 - wake up fully clothed when wife comes to bed. Get changed, brush teeth, back to bed
23.30 - woken up by 6 month old crying. get up, give her a milk. She goes straight back to sleep.
04.00 - woken up by wife. 6 month old is crying again. Apparently it's still my turn. Go downstairs, get milk. Back upstairs, 2 year old has also woken up. Settle him down. Change 6 months old's nappy. Give her a milk. She is now wide awake. Lie down with her in the bed.
06.30 - alarm goes off.
06.50 - leave house. Everyone else still asleep.

Last night it was the missus's turn. Both of the pesky blighters slept through the entire night. I swear they do it on purpose.

Gussio

el_presidente wrote:

el_presidente wrote:

What a lovely tale Snooks.... here's mine from last night
18.00 - bath 6 month old
18.10 - 6 month old starts screeching, bath 2 year old
18.30 - give milk to 6 month old, she stops screeching. 2 year old runs round causing havoc.
18.45 - 6 month old has finished milk and is fast asleep. Put her softly & gently in her cot. She snaps awake and starts screeching.
18.50 - ignore 6 month old screeching and attempt to read bed-time story to 2 year old. He is singularly uninterested.
19.00 - Dump 2 year old in his bed. Retrive 6 month old (still screeching). Lie on bed with 6 month old, we both fall asleep. Woken up by wife. Finally successfully transfer her to cot. 2 year old also asleep.
19.30 - Civilised dinner with wife. Wash up. Hang up 4th load of washing today. Put bins out. Do recycling.
21.00 - Lie down for some quiet time reading a book. Eyes feeling heavy....
22.30 - wake up fully clothed when wife comes to bed. Get changed, brush teeth, back to bed
23.30 - woken up by 6 month old crying. get up, give her a milk. She goes straight back to sleep.
04.00 - woken up by wife. 6 month old is crying again. Apparently it's still my turn. Go downstairs, get milk. Back upstairs, 2 year old has also woken up. Settle him down. Change 6 months old's nappy. Give her a milk. She is now wide awake. Lie down with her in the bed.
06.30 - alarm goes off.
06.50 - leave house. Everyone else still asleep.

Last night it was the missus's turn. Both of the pesky blighters slept through the entire night. I swear they do it on purpose.

Entirely possible that she is slipping them gin during the day

snooks

The advice we got about the feeding was a maximum of 4 hours from the start of one feed to the start of the next until she regains her birth weight. 5 days in and she has, so now we're going to feed her when she wants feeding. I say we, it's all my lovely wife doing it. The hardest and most worrying part of the pregnancy/birth has been breast feeding. Labour was over in a few hours, but breast feeding has gone on for days.

Nature seems really unfair that to begin with, while mum and daughter were learning, was when all the damage was done to my wife's breasts. Now she's more confident with the technique she still has to deal with the cracks and soreness caused early on while baby was learning what to latch on to.

I'm still amazed by the whole birth process and really enjoy the time I spend late at night (while mum gets some disturbance free sleep) with our daughter watching V+ episodes of CSI with her asleep on my chest. I could lay her down, but at the moment it is our time together.

DonDaddyD

snooks wrote:

I'm still amazed by the whole birth process and really enjoy the time I spend late at night (while mum gets some disturbance free sleep) with our daughter watching V+ episodes of CSI with her asleep on my chest. I could lay her down, but at the moment it is our time together.

Lovely isn't it?

6 - 7 weeks in that's the only place they'll sleep... :shock:

the_fuggler

Mrs F delivered our second son (Felix) on 25 November. Last 6-7 weeks have been a real tester. Quite a few post-birth complications, plus both boys and me being ill made Christmas quite arduous. Think we're getting through it now. Looking forward to the boy Mk 2 sleeping...

clarkey cat

any of you guys had experience with 'hand foot and mouth'

our little guy had it all over New Year and now I have it. Its awful.

gtvlusso

clarkey cat wrote:

any of you guys had experience with 'hand foot and mouth'

our little guy had it all over New Year and now I have it. Its awful.

We thought junior had it last month, turns out it was just a rash......

It sounds worse than it is and is not related to the animal desease; foot and mouth.

Calpol resolves.....

rjsterry

BTW, gtvlusso, how's your littl'un getting on with sleeping these days?

FoldingJoe

Any help appreciated....

The missus has had to go to London for some meetings, so I'm WFH all week holding the fort. Issue is that the 3 year old (Olivia) has come down with Chicken Pox.

She got (and as did I) about 2 hours sleep last night. Tried the normal stuff (Camomile Lotion) and some new Vira-Soothe, but she keeps waking up about every 30 mins in discomfort.

Anybody had any experience and can pass on some wise words, or is it just a case of sitting it out for a few days?

Cheers,
FJ

DonDaddyD

The Fuggler wrote:

Mrs F delivered our second son (Felix) on 25 November. Last 6-7 weeks have been a real tester. Quite a few post-birth complications, plus both boys and me being ill made Christmas quite arduous. Think we're getting through it now. Looking forward to the boy Mk 2 sleeping...

A day after my Son (I have a SON - never gets old).

Congrats. Sorry to hear about the complications.

DonDaddyD

FoldingJoe wrote:

Any help appreciated....

The missus has had to go to London for some meetings, so I'm WFH all week holding the fort. Issue is that the 3 year old (Olivia) has come down with Chicken Pox.

She got (and as did I) about 2 hours sleep last night. Tried the normal stuff (Camomile Lotion) and some new Vira-Soothe, but she keeps waking up about every 30 mins in discomfort.

Anybody had any experience and can pass on some wise words, or is it just a case of sitting it out for a few days?

Cheers,
FJ

Reposted in the hope you get an answer!

asprilla

DonDaddyD wrote:

FoldingJoe wrote:

Any help appreciated....

The missus has had to go to London for some meetings, so I'm WFH all week holding the fort. Issue is that the 3 year old (Olivia) has come down with Chicken Pox.

She got (and as did I) about 2 hours sleep last night. Tried the normal stuff (Camomile Lotion) and some new Vira-Soothe, but she keeps waking up about every 30 mins in discomfort.

Anybody had any experience and can pass on some wise words, or is it just a case of sitting it out for a few days?

Cheers,
FJ

Reposted in the hope you get an answer!

Calpol. She may not be in pain, but it also has a sedative effect to help you both get some sleep.