HILARIOUS JOKES

MEFAST
MEFAST Posts: 10
edited October 2010 in The bottom bracket
anyone got any????
«134

Comments

  • geordieindevon
    geordieindevon Posts: 127
    The coalition government?
  • Scrumple
    Scrumple Posts: 2,665
    the only joke was the mess Labour got us into, and the idiots who seem to believe the current lot are too blame for the cuts.
  • jim453
    jim453 Posts: 1,360
    Really good jokes.
  • Scrumple
    Scrumple Posts: 2,665
    this thread
  • Percy Vera
    Percy Vera Posts: 1,103
    Knock Knock
  • gmb
    gmb Posts: 456
    I once put a dead dog in a workmate's locker. (It was in a bag!)
    Trying Is The First Step Towards Failure

    De Rosa Milanino :-
    http://i851.photobucket.com/albums/ab78 ... -00148.jpg
  • Cleat Eastwood
    Cleat Eastwood Posts: 7,508
    GMB wrote:
    I once put a dead dog in a workmate's locker. (It was in a bag!)

    Are you the MI6 codebreaking cyclist killer? I claim my 5£
    The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he resigns
    momentarily from the herd and thinks for himself.
  • gmb
    gmb Posts: 456
    Cleat Eastwood wrote:
    GMB wrote:
    I once put a dead dog in a workmate's locker. (It was in a bag!)

    Are you the MI6 codebreaking cyclist killer? I claim my 5£

    I would never kill a (road) cyclist.
    Trying Is The First Step Towards Failure

    De Rosa Milanino :-
    http://i851.photobucket.com/albums/ab78 ... -00148.jpg
  • Chicago Dave
    Chicago Dave Posts: 59
    a man walks into a bar,and says 'OW!'
  • hennez
    hennez Posts: 255
    I bet you've never seen a bus turn into a corner
    My bike takes me places that school never could
  • MEFAST
    MEFAST Posts: 10
    No, i saw a bus turn out of a corner
  • tlw1
    tlw1 Posts: 22,153
    thinnest book ever...............


    anorexia weekly digest
  • CHRISNOIR
    CHRISNOIR Posts: 1,400
    Last night I got attacked by three huge guys. Surprisingly I managed to knock one out. Probably not the best time for a w*nk but I thought it may be my last chance.

    I'm here all week etc...
  • hennez
    hennez Posts: 255
    one day three strings rocked up to the pub.........
    the first string walks up to the bar "bourbon and coke please" the barman replies "sorry we dont serve strings." the sencond string strolls up to the bar "brandy" the barman replies "sorry we dont serve strings." so the 1st and 2nd string tied the third string in a knot and frayed the end of him. the third string goes up to the bar "Ill have a beer thanks" "are you a string too" asked the barman "no, im afraid not"
    My bike takes me places that school never could
  • richclip
    richclip Posts: 19
    A blonde walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre.

    So he gave her one.
  • neilr4
    neilr4 Posts: 161
    I was driving past a field today when I saw a scarecrow having a w*ank!!! I thought to myself "That poor b*asard's just clutching at straws"!
    'REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE
    SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM'
  • MattC59
    MattC59 Posts: 5,408
    CHRISNOIR wrote:
    Last night I got attacked by three huge guys. Surprisingly I managed to knock one out. Probably not the best time for a w*nk but I thought it may be my last chance.

    I'm here all week etc...
    Genius !!
    With your permission I shall be using that one :D
    Science adjusts it’s beliefs based on what’s observed.
    Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved
  • CHRISNOIR
    CHRISNOIR Posts: 1,400
    MattC59 wrote:
    CHRISNOIR wrote:
    Last night I got attacked by three huge guys. Surprisingly I managed to knock one out. Probably not the best time for a w*nk but I thought it may be my last chance.

    I'm here all week etc...
    Genius !!
    With your permission I shall be using that one :D

    Oh, you don't need permission - you can nick jokes off forums. That's certainly what I did...
  • outofbreath2
    outofbreath2 Posts: 216
    A horse goes into a bar and the barman says 'why the long face?'
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,463
    Two pieces of black tarmac minding their own business and a piece of red tarmac walks in and punches one of them for no apparent reason. Barman says "you need to watch that one, he's a bit of a cycle path".
  • outofbreath2
    outofbreath2 Posts: 216
    A bear walks into a bar and says nothing. The barman says 'why the big pause.'
  • CHRISNOIR
    CHRISNOIR Posts: 1,400
    Why did Nivea Cream?

    'Cos Max Factor.
  • ilm_zero7
    ilm_zero7 Posts: 2,213
    how do you tell the difference between and essex girl and an essex boy?

    the essex girl will have a higher sperm count!
    http://veloviewer.com/SigImage.php?a=3370a&r=3&c=5&u=M&g=p&f=abcdefghij&z=a.png
    Wiliers: Cento Uno/Superleggera R and Zero 7. Bianchi Infinito CV and Oltre XR2
  • bartimaeus
    bartimaeus Posts: 1,812
    edited October 2010
    richclip wrote:
    A blonde walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre.

    So he gave her one.

    A blonde sound engineer walks into a bar and asks the same barman for a double entendre.

    So he gave her one too.
    Vitus Sentier VR+ (2018) GT Grade AL 105 (2016)
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    Kingley Vale and QECP Trail Collective - QECP Trail Building
  • IronHorse100
    IronHorse100 Posts: 302
    I phoned up my local Bookshop. They said "can I help you", I said "no thanks, I'm just browsing".
  • shockedsoshocked
    shockedsoshocked Posts: 4,021
    Bartimaeus wrote:
    richclip wrote:
    A blonde walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre.

    So he gave her one.

    A blonde sound engineer walks into a bar and asks the same barman for a double entendre.

    So he gave her one too.

    Painful, but I like it.
    "A cyclist has nothing to lose but his chain"

    PTP Runner Up 2015
  • Aggieboy
    Aggieboy Posts: 3,996
    I got caught having a w*nk while sniffing my mate's sisters knickers yesterday. Wouldn't have been so bad but she was still wearing them at the time. He went f*cking mental! Made the rest of her funeral very awkward for both of us.
    "There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to damage yours."
  • brin
    brin Posts: 1,122
    i pulled into a motorway service station for a snack, grabbed a ham salad sandwich, bottle of water,and a packet of crisps, got to the checkout and told the girl "sorry, iv'e only got a £20 note" she said "thats ok, put the crisps back".........

    .....then when i got home called into local for a pint, an angry looking bloke, black shirt, black shorts and socks and a whistle in his mouth was staring angrily at me, i thought best get out of here looks like he's about to kick off....

    ......i'll get my coat :lol:
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    Two monkeys in the bath.

    First one says "Oooh ooh aah aah"

    Second one says "Well, put some cold in then."
  • Cleat Eastwood
    Cleat Eastwood Posts: 7,508
    did you know sarah jessica parker is really hurt after she tried killing herself because of all the jokes about her looking like a horse. Doctors say her condition is stable
    The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he resigns
    momentarily from the herd and thinks for himself.

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