Weapons...Do you carry anything?

simon2names

dirty protest? fancy a bum? i feel you chaps aren't taking the matter of my "dad's harder than your dad and was in the para's and can kill a man with but a sideways glance" particularly seriously.

dammit all, i hate it when people aren't taken seriously.

now can we please get back to the discussion over whether it's legal to carry a baseball bat with a nail through the end of it but only if it's in your camelpak and only if you've genuinely been hammering in nails with said bat because you lost your favourite hammer the previous week chasing off some spotty teenage oiks who happened to look as if they were up to highjinks and acting like ne'er-do-wells.

tilt

Hilarious thread

Weapons indeed, have a word with yourselves.

captainfly

bails87 wrote:

captainfly wrote:

I just resent the fact that it seems fine for people to use violence to steal from you but you must not fight back.

You can fight back, and the law says you're allowed to.

captainfly wrote:

it would be nice to use something to keep them futher away.

I still don't see what you could use. If you can see a situation developing while they're far enough away that you've got time to get a weapon out, then turn around and leave. If you're riding past and they grab you and tell you to give them the bike then you screwed if you're relying on a machete in your backpack for defence. Likewise, if you get barged off as you ride past, you'll be on the floor while they ride off with your bike and a 'weapon' is no good.

An extendable baton or pepper spray would be good to have if confronted with a knife. as for access a holster on a backpack strap. but this is against the law so not viable, the best you can do is a defense spray like stoppa red and a d-lock. To be fair though dressed in body armour and an FF helmet riding to my sessioning spot I am probably better protected than when I used to work in event and pesonal security.

Mr Wu

Rape. It's the end of all this rubbish.

Nobody wants an unruly penis thrust upon them for stealing a bike.

"what? You want my bike?!" unzip shorts and reveal semi lob on. Start stroking.
Once semi erect say "help yourself sweetheat".

No Chav on this earth is going to mug you while your stroking one off. Weapons? No.
Erect penis with intention? Fuk yeah!

gbrnole

I quite often cycle past groups of 3-5 teenagers, most of the time they compliment my bike and theres no issue. It does go through my mind when approaching said youths of what I'd do if they did get funny with me, i generally 'measure' them up as i see them and just see how it goes.

I do have pride and would kick myself forever if i allowed some scrotes to take my bike just out of principle. I would always attempt to cycle past without incident but if i did get pushed my blood would boil and theres no way they would be taking my bike, i would have far more motivation and aggression to defend myself and property and i think it would be quite intimidating. If a knife was flashed i would definately resist and accept defeat.

I would never carry a weapon but if i was defending myself i would not hesitate to use a rock/stick to my advantage. If i could get my keys out of my pocket then yes i would punch someone with them in self defense.

Mr Wu

Perhaps Im old school but there is no fkin way I'd let anyone take my bike.

I work hard and I'm proud of my "all the gear no idea status" an I'll be fkd if some doley wnker is taking anything off me.

I would honestly rather do time for stamping on some fkers throat than sit there like a wet bellend whilst he rides me fkn bike off.

Come on lads, have a word with yourselves.

Mr Wu

spray deep heat is the way forward. End of.

-liam-

Mr Wu wrote:

Perhaps Im old school but there is no fkin way I'd let anyone take my bike.

I work hard and I'm proud of my "all the gear no idea status" an I'll be fkd if some doley wnker is taking anything off me.

I would honestly rather do time for stamping on some fkers throat than sit there like a wet bellend whilst he rides me fkn bike off.

Come on lads, have a word with yourselves.

I think I'd react similarly.

I've never been a fighter, or someone that enjoys a good ruck on a friday night (thats my brothers job) but the last time I was pushed into a position, some years ago, I reacted like a loon. Probably could of landed in trouble if the other chap decided to go down that route. Spent the rest of the next week waiting for the police to come knocking at the door.

Raphe

Nobody wants an unruly penis thrust upon them for stealing a bike.

"what? You want my bike?!" unzip shorts and reveal semi lob on. Start stroking.
Once semi erect say "help yourself sweetheat".

No Chav on this earth is going to mug you while your stroking one off. Weapons? No.
Erect penis with intention? Fuk yeah!

That is fecking funny.

SPIRO

-Liam- wrote:

I think I'd react similarly.

I've never been a fighter, or someone that enjoys a good ruck on a friday night (thats my brothers job) but the last time I was pushed into a position, some years ago, I reacted like a loon..

Here's the crux off the argument. We are all wired with the Fight vs Flight response and until you have actually been in a high pressure threatening situation i don't think any of us now how we would react.

Personally its only ever happened to me once, and as a pretty calm soft guy(or as i thought) i was very surprised when i reacted like an absolute maniac. After the event i wasn't proud of my actions and it actually scared me a bit as to the way i reacted. I can see now how newspapers report that he was a "calm normal guy" shortly before he rampaged and put 3 ppl in hospital.

On the weapon thing - you would have to be mad to carry one. Fact. End

Chalky76

I thought this thread was funny enough without the suggestion of getting the old chap out in self defence! Hilarious stuff, and i've got to agree, surely any chav would run a mile, but...... what if they didn't and advanced with a smile on their face!?!

I'm not an aggressive guy (same as someone else's comment, my older brother seemed to more than make up for my passiveness), but if i come across some chav's hanging about i try and act unconcerned and give the impression i can look after myself. So far so good, but also i rarely ride alone so if there's two or three of you then it's obviously a different proposition to any bike thieving tos*ers

homers_double

661 carbon knuckled DH gloves.

Job done.

ride_whenever

Chalky76 wrote:

I thought this thread was funny enough without the suggestion of getting the old chap out in self defence! Hilarious stuff, and i've got to agree, surely any chav would run a mile, but...... what if they didn't and advanced with a smile on their face!?!

Then you tear them a new one obviously...

Raphe

Looking like a wannabe hard man or conversely looking shite scared triggers some gland in the lizard part of your average chav/ned brain especially when he is in a pack.

Broonster

blister pus wrote:

I have a trichorder, phaser (set to stun), a vulcan death grip and some plastic pointy ears. and fark anyone that tangles with me

This is my personal favourite!

Great thread!

RobGT

If I was stopped and had no option of getting away with or without bike, before 'letting' anyone ride off on my bike or put up a fight for it I would consider stamping on my discs. Try watching them ride off on it then!

Although this will spoil your slight chance of useing it as your gettaway transport!

Just a thought.

blister pus

RobGT wrote:

Just a thought.

vengeance111

carry a gun

blister pus

vengeance111 wrote:

carry a gun

that's just silly, if you can't afford what i have, you'll have to go low tech.....

Duggan13

Mr Wu wrote:

Rape. It's the end of all this rubbish.

Nobody wants an unruly penis thrust upon them for stealing a bike.

"what? You want my bike?!" unzip shorts and reveal semi lob on. Start stroking.
Once semi erect say "help yourself sweetheat".

No Chav on this earth is going to mug you while your stroking one off. Weapons? No.
Erect penis with intention? Fuk yeah!

Anonymous

Frankly, if you beat the crap out of them with anything you're going to be the one ending up in jail.

You're on a bike, just head for a lethal trail they can't follow. Hopefully they have bikes so take them to a DH course and watch them break their necks

beany123

The Northern Monkey wrote:

park tool pedal spanner.

yeah man I likes your style, one of these round the head of sum bike stealing chav should do the trick!!

Anonymous

Chain whip more like

Anonymous

Here is the thing, you have been riding your bike, so your warmed up already, they aren't you also a lot fitter then them, and if they try and do something, you know you need to guard your life's possession (bike), so you end up kicking their asses, and if you do need some sort of weapon, make sure you have quick release seat post thing, take out seat post and whack them with your pointy end of the seat, it's all good

Xiphon

Is this a serious thread?

captainfly

Xiphon wrote:

Is this a serious thread?

I doubt it

Xiphon

I say always pack your nine, ready to blast dem fools!

or alternatively, have 5-0 on speed dial.....

:P

Anonymous

Guns don't kille people, I DO :twisted:

Mr Wu

Xiphon wrote:

I say always pack your nine, ready to blast dem fools!

or alternatively, have 5-0 on speed dial.....

:P

Tupac just called, wanted to know if he could have his vocabulary back....

saracen fan

surely the most obvious one is using the helmet we should be wearing but rarely ever do?

getting butted out by a helmet is gonna hurt....badly!

and if the punches start raining on you there gonna break there hands