Things that are just true about urban cycling

135

Comments

  • Blacktemplar
    Blacktemplar Posts: 713
    You only ever have unclipping 'moments' when people are around to see.

    +1 billion - and usually it's a bus load of jeering schoolchildren
    "Get a bicycle. You won't regret it if you live"
    Mark Twain
  • mcj78
    mcj78 Posts: 634
    You'll think of the funniest, most degrading put down for the w@anker who almost ran you over this morning approximately 2hrs after the incident, while he 'll go through the day wondering how that guy on the bike could contruct an entire 2 minute tirade of abuse utilizing only the F word & variables thereof. :evil:
    Moda Issimo
    Genesis Volare 853
    Charge Filter Apex
  • blu3cat
    blu3cat Posts: 1,016
    you only ever have mechanical failures exactly equidistant between work / home and the nearest bike shop.
    "Bed is for sleepy people.
    Let's get a kebab and go to a disco."

    FCN = 3 - 5
    Colnago World Cup 2
  • prj45
    prj45 Posts: 2,208
    As soon as you sort out one squeak/rattle, something else will start squeaking/rattling.
  • Kieran_Burns
    Kieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    prj45 wrote:
    As soon as you sort out one squeak/rattle, something else will start squeaking/rattling.

    which is usually yourself....
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • biondino
    biondino Posts: 5,990
    Pedestrinas will cross anywhere EXCEPT at a pedestrian crossing

    This is true - at pedestrian crossings they will hover with a worried look on their face because most cyclists simply barge their way through. Ten seconds later, you will have lost all your precious momentum, and they will finally deign to cross.

    Another thing - why do so many people reach out to high five me as I cycle past, but when I high five them back, they get cross?
  • Another thing - why do so many people reach out to high five me as I cycle past, but when I high five them back, they get cross?[/quote]

    Dunno. Why do you ask?
  • Another thing - why do so many people reach out to high five me as I cycle past, but when I high five them back, they get cross?[/quote]

    Dunno. Why do you ask?
  • El Gordo
    El Gordo Posts: 394
    There is an urban cyclist somewhere right now sat at their desk going commando having forgotten their pants.
  • lost_in_thought
    lost_in_thought Posts: 10,563
    mcj78 wrote:
    You'll think of the funniest, most degrading put down for the w@anker who almost ran you over this morning approximately 2hrs after the incident,

    The French have such a great phrase for this feeling - 'l'esprit d'escalier'... literally 'escalator spirit'.
  • El Gordo wrote:
    There is an urban cyclist somewhere right now sat at their desk going commando having forgotten their pants.

    Oh so true, says he feeling a little uncomfortable right now.
    I ache, therefore I am.
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    PBo wrote:
    Mopeds will block your filtering channels
    Number One

    All pedestrian underpasses will contain at least a small quantity of broken beer bottle glass.

    Forgive me, but didn't you start this list about cycling :twisted:

    Oh put your flaps down Tiger! In the town where I live (sunny Cwmbran) there are bike and pedestrian lanes even through the underpasses. I do apologise for not being more milimetrically precise!

    ......Really good fast downhill sweeps always have the most broken road surface so giving you the choice of pootling or allowing that 110psi in your tires to accurately map said road surface with your teeth banging together like a needle on a vinyl record :lol:
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • If there is only one richard the third on my route home in the dark, I will, some how, manage to ride through it. Yuk!
    I ache, therefore I am.
  • jonginge
    jonginge Posts: 5,945
    mcj78 wrote:
    You'll think of the funniest, most degrading put down for the w@anker who almost ran you over this morning approximately 2hrs after the incident,

    The French have such a great phrase for this feeling - 'l'esprit d'escalier'... literally 'escalator spirit'.
    Damn, wish I'd written that.
    FCN 2-4 "Shut up legs", Jens Voigt
    Planet-x Scott
    Rides
  • jonginge
    jonginge Posts: 5,945
    biondino wrote:
    Another thing - why do so many people reach out to high five me as I cycle past, but when I high five them back, they get cross?
    Oh, is that what they're doing? I thought they were forming a guard of honour...
    FCN 2-4 "Shut up legs", Jens Voigt
    Planet-x Scott
    Rides
  • Sewinman
    Sewinman Posts: 2,131
    One will always regret taking a 'rest day' and using PT.
  • mcj78
    mcj78 Posts: 634
    Sewinman wrote:
    One will always regret taking a 'rest day' and using PT.

    Especially if it's down to a terrible weather forecast which turns out to be utter nonsense, leaving you stuck on a bus/train with the generally despisable general public :x
    Moda Issimo
    Genesis Volare 853
    Charge Filter Apex
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,411
    When you really put the hammer down and go for a door-to-door PB, the journey will take 3 or 4 minutes longer than when you just cruise along at a comfortable pace.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • Aidy
    Aidy Posts: 2,015
    Drivers will see you, decide they have enough time to pull out of a junction in front of you, then change their minds halfway through the maneouver and stop. Forcing you to slam on the brakes.

    If they'd either pulled it off swiftly, or waited an extra 10 seconds it would have been fine.
  • Cafewanda
    Cafewanda Posts: 2,788
    rjsterry wrote:
    When you really put the hammer down and go for a door-to-door PB, the journey will take 3 or 4 minutes longer than when you just cruise along at a comfortable pace.

    You saw me this morning? :? :cry:
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,411
    No, but it's a regular experience for me.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • Rodmc
    Rodmc Posts: 42
    edited July 2010
    jamesco wrote:
    The vehicle in front of you is a Porsche. You will feel unbearably smug riding past it as it remains stuck in traffic.

    I beat a Boxster into the office recently, think it took about an hour for the smug smile to leave my face :lol:
  • Aidy
    Aidy Posts: 2,015
    Despite the fact that the girl in front is super hot and has a complete and utter peach of a bum you will sail on past just because you cannot bring yourself to slow your pace.

    I hate this.
  • Aidy
    Aidy Posts: 2,015
    No matter how you slow down/speed up to let out/pass a stopped bus, as soon as you move into a its blindspot, it will start moving out.
  • drawblood
    drawblood Posts: 36
    The screen wash you get sprayed with isn't the fresh blue smelly stuff but the old legionella laden muck from the bottom of the container!
    Would get down on the drops more if the gut wasn't in the way!
  • tgotb
    tgotb Posts: 4,714
    biondino wrote:
    Another thing - why do so many people reach out to high five me as I cycle past, but when I high five them back, they get cross?
    This is because you're going so slowly that the bus, despite stopping every 50 yards, is still being held up by you...
    Pannier, 120rpm.
  • Rodmc
    Rodmc Posts: 42
    TGOTB wrote:
    biondino wrote:
    Another thing - why do so many people reach out to high five me as I cycle past, but when I high five them back, they get cross?
    This is because you're going so slowly that the bus, despite stopping every 50 yards, is still being held up by you...

    Very harsh indeed, I regularly nearly overtake the same bus on the commute.
  • dondare
    dondare Posts: 2,113
    Any bit of bicycle maintenance turns into a major project.
    This post contains traces of nuts.
  • Aguila
    Aguila Posts: 622
    Despite the fact that the girl in front is super hot and has a complete and utter peach of a bum you will sail on past just because you cannot bring yourself to slow your pace.

    not always..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU7JXX45pOw :wink:

    (from about 3:20 min until.... well.... ages 8) )

    I sat all the way through that waiting for some peachy bum action... and all you get is Boris Johnson.
  • Zachariah
    Zachariah Posts: 782
    dondare wrote:
    Any bit of bicycle maintenance turns into a major project.
    +1^10

    I only wanted to replace worn brake pads, almost ended up with a new set of calipers and cables...

    The longer you spend cleaning your bike, the less time it remains clean.