Things that are just true about urban cycling
SimonAH
Posts: 3,730
Number One
All pedestrian underpasses will contain at least a small quantity of broken beer bottle glass.
All pedestrian underpasses will contain at least a small quantity of broken beer bottle glass.
FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
Litespeed L3 for Strava bits
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
Litespeed L3 for Strava bits
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
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Comments
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SimonAH wrote:Number One
All pedestrian underpasses will contain at least a small quantity of broken beer bottle glass.
And at last one small puddle of stagnant indeterminate liquid.1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
Pinnacle Monzonite
Part of the anti-growth coalition0 -
Broken glass will also be randomly placed along all cycle lanes by skilled volunteers to check your reflexes, maneuvering skills and (if previous two fail) your tube changing skills.0
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the lights will change to red if you sprint for them.Fixed gear for wet weather / hairy roadie for posing in the sun.
What would Thora Hurd do?0 -
Its your high vis jackets fault for the driver pulling out on you and not seeing you.....0
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Pedestrinas will cross anywhere EXCEPT at a pedestrian crossingChunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
There are always potholes exactly where you want to go, especially if you are travelling at speed.0
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even when its hissing down...its still better than public transportWhenever I see an adult on a bicycle, I believe in the future of the human race.
H.G. Wells.0 -
You puncture if it's raining or you are late
If it's raining AND you are late I suggest you slash your tyres in the garage and get it over with - at least it's dry in there.Fixed gear for wet weather / hairy roadie for posing in the sun.
What would Thora Hurd do?0 -
Slower riders who you have passed will manoeuvre round you to sit in front of you at red lights. Repeatedly."Bed is for sleepy people.
Let's get a kebab and go to a disco."
FCN = 3 - 5
Colnago World Cup 20 -
If you delay unclipping at a red, then eventually decide to give in, it will change to yellow the instant your foot touches the ground.0
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The best line round any bend will always have a (highly polished) manhole cover in the middle of it. The NW corner of Parliament Square being a particularly good example.1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
Pinnacle Monzonite
Part of the anti-growth coalition0 -
You get to know the backstreets and ginnels.0
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lost_in_thought wrote:If you delay unclipping at a red, then eventually decide to give in, it will change to yellow the instant your foot touches the ground.
+ 1 squillion
When you really need/want to indicate clearly because of nearby shit drivers (so you don't get hit), you won't be able to as you will need both hands on the bar because of said bad driving.Le Cannon [98 Cannondale M400] [FCN: 8]
The Mad Monkey [2013 Hoy 003] [FCN: 4]0 -
If a bus overtakes you, it will pull in, in front of you within 50 metres."Bed is for sleepy people.
Let's get a kebab and go to a disco."
FCN = 3 - 5
Colnago World Cup 20 -
People with buggies or prams will push said infant carriers off the pavement into your path before checking the road.
Road surfaces will be absolutely rubbish
Cyclists at roundabouts become invisible0 -
No matter how much fitter/faster you get, your commute times will stay reasonably consistent due to traffic lights/traffic.0
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If you leave your waterproofs at home or work it WILL rain.FCN : 8
Fast Hybrid 7.
Baggies +1
SPD's -1
Full mudguards for a dry bottom. + 10 -
baloo_the_bear wrote:People with buggies or prams will push said infant carriers off the pavement into your path before checking the road.
:roll:0 -
You only ever have unclipping 'moments' when people are around to see.FCN : 8
Fast Hybrid 7.
Baggies +1
SPD's -1
Full mudguards for a dry bottom. + 10 -
It will end up costing you more in shiny bike parts than it would by virtually any other method of getting to and from work.0
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People waiting at bus stops will step out into the road and flail their arms, bags, sticks and umbrellas as you are passing even if there's no bus coming up behind you.This post contains traces of nuts.0
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wizzlebanger wrote:You only ever have unclipping 'moments' when people are around to see.
Saw a chap have a clipless moment the other day - felt very sympathetic, did it right at the lights in Hammersmith one way system - loads of people.
If you're slower than average it's a headwind, if you're faster than average it's becuase of your super-awesomeness."Bed is for sleepy people.
Let's get a kebab and go to a disco."
FCN = 3 - 5
Colnago World Cup 20 -
It will be lovely all day, then as soon as you get changed the black clouds will roll in... (it's especially true because it's happening right now outside my window, goodnight!)Moda Issimo
Genesis Volare 853
Charge Filter Apex0 -
Mopeds will block your filtering channelsNumber One
All pedestrian underpasses will contain at least a small quantity of broken beer bottle glass.
Forgive me, but didn't you start this list about cycling :twisted:0 -
The vehicle in front of you is a Porsche. You will feel unbearably smug riding past it as it remains stuck in traffic.0
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PBo wrote:Mopeds will block your filtering channels
So true. :x0 -
You wonder if you are not really commenting on the driving/riding abilities of other road users ... but actually have Tourette's Syndrome.Never be tempted to race against a Barclays Cycle Hire bike. If you do, there are only two outcomes. Of these, by far the better is that you now have the scalp of a Boris Bike.0
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If you're running late, you *will* have a puncture.0