Things that are just true about urban cycling

chedabob

As soon as you decide to filter into the ASL, the lights will change and you'll lose your spot and risk getting lefthooked :evil:

Also, there will always be at least one thing that makes you leave the cycle lane, such as plonkers sticking the nose of their car out, or the parking bays not being wide enough to fit the whole car in :evil:

Cafewanda

ndru wrote:

Broken glass will also be randomly placed along all cycle lanes by skilled volunteers to check your reflexes, maneuvering skills and (if previous two fail) your tube changing skills.

Oh yeah! (to the last point)

pastryboy

If the bus is stationary someone is about to step off irrespective of where the stop actually is.

The one that you slow down for is always the one that was letting you past.

EKE_38BPM

People wearing skinny jeans and super tiny handlebars WILL RLJ.

further

Over time you will build a detailed mental map of usable railings, bike stands and lamposts but still none of them within 200 metres of Abra-Kebab-ra or the newsagents.

woodford2barbican

if a pedestrian controlled crossing has a red light - there will be no pedestrian on the crossing or within 50 yards of said crossing

jonny_trousers

Despite the fact that the girl in front is super hot and has a complete and utter peach of a bum you will sail on past just because you cannot bring yourself to slow your pace.

tiny_pens

Aidy wrote:

It will end up costing you more in shiny bike parts than it would by virtually any other method of getting to and from work.

Off topic but I worked with a guy who had a Ducati motorbike. I think his average service cost was about £900 - and he had to have 2 a year due to his 6000 miles a year covered. Nice bike though.

The one time you decide not to wear gloves is the one time you really wish you had (tarmac to hand pain - ouch)

You ride to work for a bit of exercise but somehow also seem to partake in a lot more visits to the pub as you no longer have to drive home.

psiturbo

The bum at the light laughs when he sees it is a man on "spandex".

Note: It did happen to me and we were stupidly laughing at each other...

bunter

if you clean your bike, it will rain the next time you ride it.

Jay dubbleU

No matter which way you are going the wind will always be against you

You will arrive at work bright cheerful and pumping adrenaline and p*ss off all your colleagues who have been stuck in traffic for hours

Canny Jock

Aidy wrote:

It will end up costing you more in shiny bike parts than it would by virtually any other method of getting to and from work.

+1,000,000.

noisemonkey

When trying to take a different route to work and nearly get lost you will encounter a cyclist coming the other way in a pitch black country lane who has no lights on?!

diplomacy

you are way better at it than all these other idiots.

Kieran_Burns

Jonny_Trousers wrote:

Despite the fact that the girl in front is super hot and has a complete and utter peach of a bum you will sail on past just because you cannot bring yourself to slow your pace.

not always..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU7JXX45pOw

(from about 3:20 min until.... well.... ages 8) )

SickAsAParrot

If your bike suffers a catastrophic failure, there will be no credit on your phone.

gbsahne001

Average life expectancy for a packet of hobnobs after getting to work; 10 mins

El Capitano

The more calories you burn, the more you consume...

asprilla

If you build it, they will come.

Oh, I think i've got the wrong sport.

PBo

Jonny_Trousers wrote:

Despite the fact that the girl in front is super hot and has a complete and utter peach of a bum you will sail on past just because you cannot bring yourself to slow your pace.

not this (couldn't find a "perv" icon)

PBo

double post

PBo

noisemonkey wrote:

When trying to take a different route to work and nearly get lost you will encounter a cyclist coming the other way in a pitch black country lane who has no lights on?!

BAAAARP! urban cycling? On a a country lane? Sorry, but you bumpkin types need to stay off this metropolitan thread....

il_principe

If you choose to ride the Sunday Best bike into work for a change, there will be absolutely no competition to play with.

Obie

Without fail someone wearing white headphones and carrying a coffee cup will step out infront of you on Tooley Street!!

andy83

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Jonny_Trousers wrote:

Despite the fact that the girl in front is super hot and has a complete and utter peach of a bum you will sail on past just because you cannot bring yourself to slow your pace.

not always..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU7JXX45pOw

(from about 3:20 min until.... well.... ages 8) )

that commute looks absolutly horrible, give me my coutry lanes any day of the week

when your feeling tired and want an easy ride you will see a person on a bike (i hardly see any on commute) and you just have to chase them down

You get a smile if you pass a cyclist regardless of age, bike or gender

andy83

gbsahne wrote:

Average life expectancy for a packet of hobnobs after getting to work; 10 mins

if theyre choc ones i give it 2 mins

Dudu

You will always be the only road user travelling on the correct side of the road or path.

Especially if it's a cycle-only path.

gbsahne001

andy83 wrote:

gbsahne wrote:

Average life expectancy for a packet of hobnobs after getting to work; 10 mins

if theyre choc ones i give it 2 mins

I was including making the cup of coffee to go with them in that time

Greg T

Balancing the rear mech on the barrell adjuster to ensure smooth and quiet gear changes requires black magic.

Non Shamans (me) end up with the sound effects from the first ten mins of saving private ryan coupled with the smooth mechanical hum of a three house bricks and bag of nails in a washing machine.

seataltea

On the canal towpath at 3am there will always be a large man holding an axe but he hides well and you haven't seen him yet.