The Off Topic thread

24567

Comments

  • jswba
    jswba Posts: 491
    I had a nice round of Tiger Woods golf the other day.
  • simple_salmon
    simple_salmon Posts: 457
    I've just been interviewed for the local paper.
  • mmitchell88
    mmitchell88 Posts: 340
    What does a Taser feel like?
    Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir... gently and firmly. You've got to grind your beans until they squeak.
    And then you put in the milk.
  • Frank the tank
    Frank the tank Posts: 6,553
    Being as my post was deemed "unfit" 'cos it was food orientated I'd just like to say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :?
    Tail end Charlie

    The above post may contain traces of sarcasm or/and bullsh*t.
  • iain_j
    iain_j Posts: 1,941
    I wouldn't go in there for a while :twisted:
  • Red Rock
    Red Rock Posts: 517
    COOKIES
    (Recipe may be halved as this makes heaps)

    2 (500 ml) cups butter
    680 g chocolate chips
    4 (1000 ml) cups flour
    2 (500 ml) cups brown sugar
    2 tsp. (10 ml) Bicarbonate of soda
    1 tsp. (5 ml) salt
    2 (500 ml) cups sugar
    500 g Grated Cadbury chocolate
    5 (1250 ml) cups blended oatmeal
    4 eggs
    2 tsp. (10 ml) baking powder
    2 tsp. (10 ml) vanilla
    3 cups (375 ml) chopped nuts (optional)


    Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder. Cream the_butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour,_oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and bicarbonate of soda. Add chocolate_chips, grated Chocolate and nuts. Roll into balls, and place two inches_apart on a non-stick baking tray. Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees (180 C).

    The above quantities make 112 cookies :shock: - I was hungry :oops:

    Enjoy!

    Red Rock
  • Stewie Griffin
    Stewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
    Im watching Superbad :lol:
  • PhilofCas
    PhilofCas Posts: 1,153
    accident on my way to work this morning, took a lane out, decided to go the other way round the ring road, bit shorter but has roundabouts that way so probably similar time for the journey, seemed alright really
  • Stewie Griffin
    Stewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
    I got in early today, I like make flexitime.
  • pottssteve
    pottssteve Posts: 4,069
    I hope Eurospoilsport show the Vuelta - I couldn't get the Tour here in Hong Kong..
    Head Hands Heart Lungs Legs
  • simple_salmon
    simple_salmon Posts: 457
    I ran to work today...in a cycling shirt - crazy :?
  • Frank the tank
    Frank the tank Posts: 6,553
    Fortunately for you good people, I'm off for a long weekend break today and won't have access to the 'tinternet. So I can say this forum (for better or worse) will be a FTT free zone for four/five days. :D
    Tail end Charlie

    The above post may contain traces of sarcasm or/and bullsh*t.
  • johncp
    johncp Posts: 302
    It may be alittle disloyal to this forum but I have to recommend the "Rant" thread over on Yet Another Cycling Forum - haven't laughed so much in a loooooong time :lol: - even posted one myself! Feels great :!:
    If you haven't got a headwind you're not trying hard enough
  • grayo59
    grayo59 Posts: 722
    I am very happy to be informed that my thirty year old Suzuki GS850 motorcycle has passed it's MOT today with no work needing to be done.
    __________________
    ......heading for the box, but not too soon I hope!
  • fungus_the_muffin_man
    fungus_the_muffin_man Posts: 1,608
    I nearly got off with a ladyboy in the phillipines any of you lot had a "close encounter"
    Bianchi. There are no alternatives only compromises!
    I RIDE A KONA CADABRA -would you like to come and have a play with my magic link?
  • mmitchell88
    mmitchell88 Posts: 340
    How easy would it be to introduce Reality Bikeradar? Essentially Bikeradar, but run according to the rules of a reality show whereby if one fails to meet an arbitrarily chosen set of random criteria, that individual is SENT HOME.

    What we're looking for is an absolutely COMMITTED Bikeradar user.

    36 year-old Rotherham-born Alan will be teaming up with 26 year-old public schoolboy Tom.

    If anyone fails to show ABSOLUTE focus during this task, it could end BADLY.

    Natasha has recently left university and is having trouble changing a tyre.

    Last week Alan had trouble with the mental tasks. How WILL he cope with today's physical task?

    "I''ve got a lot of patience. I hope I bring a fresh approach to today's challenge"

    James should be in his comfort zone.

    Grandmother Jane has failed to impress.
    Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir... gently and firmly. You've got to grind your beans until they squeak.
    And then you put in the milk.
  • dennisn
    dennisn Posts: 10,601
    Fungus The Muffin Man wrote:
    I nearly got off with a ladyboy in the phillipines any of you lot had a "close encounter"

    No, but I do remember my time in the Philippines(Navy). What a place(Subic Bay - Olongapo City). Words fail me.
  • Surf-Matt
    Surf-Matt Posts: 5,952
    Getting a BMW 335d Touring delivered on Friday.

    I have chosen one with the optional "indicators" and avoided the usual "tailgate cruise control" system.

    Will probably still drive it like a t1t though
  • Red Rock
    Red Rock Posts: 517
    Funny

    It was entertainment night at the old age home.. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

    The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat ' I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations '.

    He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, and watch the watch...."

    The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's finger and fell to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces. "SH!T" said the Hypnotist.

    It took three days to clean up the old age home. :lol:
  • cyclingmev
    cyclingmev Posts: 105
    Fresian cows run at maximum cow velocity when it starts raining. Plus, they can stick their tongues right up their nostrils.
    i like bike
  • fatblokefromwarwick
    fatblokefromwarwick Posts: 331
    Boots in Coventry have run out of thermometers due to mass swine flu panic.
  • iainment
    iainment Posts: 992
    Puckoon is one of the funniest books ever. Read it.
    Old hippies don't die, they just lie low until the laughter stops and their time comes round again.
    Joseph Gallivan
  • Stewie Griffin
    Stewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
    Going in to a meeting in 10 mins, what MORON arranges a 2 hour meeting to take place during MY LUNCHTIME? :evil:
  • freehub
    freehub Posts: 4,257
    Heavy rain and thunder, what a piss take.
  • Slow Downcp
    Slow Downcp Posts: 3,041
    Peroni ia €1.33 for three bottles at a supermarket just outside Milan.
    Carlsberg don't make cycle clothing, but if they did it would probably still not be as good as Assos
  • skellator3
    skellator3 Posts: 200
    did you know that there have been seven sinles that got to number one in the uk that dont mention the song title in the lyrics, can you name them
    dont only ride a bike
  • iainment
    iainment Posts: 992
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    So I'm fucked.
    Old hippies don't die, they just lie low until the laughter stops and their time comes round again.
    Joseph Gallivan
  • Stewie Griffin
    Stewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
    Back from lunch, take jacket off, unlock drawer, sit down, log back in, take lid off coffee, relax. FIRE ALARM. Put lid back on coffee, log out, stand up, lock drawers, put jacket back on, take coffee with me.

    Someone who works here put a dish covered in FOIL in the microwave.
  • pottssteve
    pottssteve Posts: 4,069
    Mmmmm, Ribena with ice is yummy!
    Head Hands Heart Lungs Legs
  • ride_whenever
    ride_whenever Posts: 13,279
    My sunglasses are excellent, as is my bluetooth mouse
    Neeermad
    Carbon 456
    456 lefty
    Pompino
    White Inbred

Categories