How to impress a girl...

itboffin

Hey biondino welcome back

lost_in_thought

biondino wrote:

Spitchips wrote:

look at her bike, look at her rims. look at her and say 'nice rims - wanna rim job?'

Dude, don't be a d!ck.

+1...

I mean, really. FFS.

lost_in_thought

itboffin wrote:

Hey biondino welcome back

+1

Spitchips - BANNED

What wrong with a rim job? I like crystal clean sparkling rims after a wet and muddy ride. nothing like getting out wheel rim cleaner and chamosis leather for a bit of T.L.C. There is nothing cool about dirty rims.

i dont know why you think I am being a dick, and you too Lit, i think you maybe getting hasty with your conclusions about rim-jobs and getting the wrong end of the stick - In ever knew how dirty your minds were, if my predictions are correct.

Totalnewbie

Ok then, Mr Oh-so-innocent, you offer the next girl you pull up next to a 'rim job' and see where it gets you. :roll:

Spitchips - BANNED

So here goes a test/rehearsal 'impress a girl' chatup line:

I am cyclling along, I see a girl on a bike in the distance, I overtake her and bomb it down the road for 5km and then stop at the lights. I wait until she turns up and I scalp her something chronic.

I then look at her rack ( bike rack), i then look at her bike and finally her rims. I then look at with a lingering look into her eyes, give her a wink and say 'wanna rim job?'
She then replies 'sure you can give me a rim-job' she then looks at my cross bar and 'says looks like you have a long hard stiff one between your legs.'

I then say 'with a rack like yours how can I not have a stiff one'

sounds like the above scenario could escaluate into a good ride in the woods.

itboffin

Spitchips wrote:

So here goes a test/rehearsal 'impress a girl' chat up line:

I am cycling along, I see a girl on a bike in the distance, I overtake her and bomb it down the road for 5km and then stop at the lights. I wait until she turns up and I scalp her something chronic.

I then look at her rack ( bike rack), i then look at her bike and finally her rims. I then look at with a lingering look into her eyes, give her a wink and say 'wanna rim job?'
She then replies 'sure you can give me a rim-job' she then looks at my cross bar and 'says looks like you have a long hard stiff one between your legs.'

I then say 'with a rack like yours how can I not have a stiff one'

sounds like the above scenario could escalate into a good ride in the woods.

You missed out your age in you sig block.

always_tyred

itboffin wrote:

Spitchips wrote:

So here goes a test/rehearsal 'impress a girl' chat up line:

I am cycling along, I see a girl on a bike in the distance, I overtake her and bomb it down the road for 5km and then stop at the lights. I wait until she turns up and I scalp her something chronic.

I then look at her rack ( bike rack), i then look at her bike and finally her rims. I then look at with a lingering look into her eyes, give her a wink and say 'wanna rim job?'
She then replies 'sure you can give me a rim-job' she then looks at my cross bar and 'says looks like you have a long hard stiff one between your legs.'

I then say 'with a rack like yours how can I not have a stiff one'

sounds like the above scenario could escalate into a good ride in the woods.

You missed out your age in you sig block.

And IQ.

itboffin

shamus1975

A rim job er ok i dont think that would go down well(sorry no pun intended there)
Why not just be yourself im sure thats what they want not some bloke acting a cock but then maybe that is you being yourself if so god help you.

W5454

Cheer up you miserable pc gits.What's wrong with a bit of sexism? :twisted:

Age=14 - IQ=same.

greg66_tri_v2.0

When do the school holidays end? Soon?

Slow Downcp

Greg66 wrote:

When do the school holidays end? Soon?

And homework to catch up on - hope it's not English:

http://www.bikeradar.com/forums/viewtop ... 8&start=45

Spitchips - BANNED

I think maybe i should revise my ' impress a girl' tactics as the rim-job opening line seems to have rather a big sexual innuendo - or everyone has just really dirty minds and can tur a turn an innoncent activity into a rather 'anal cleansing' activity - well thats what i assume anyway - when will this filth end?

Although I would not complain going for a ride in the woods with the 'impressed girl'.

lost_in_thought

Slow Downcp wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

When do the school holidays end? Soon?

And homework to catch up on - hope it's not English:

http://www.bikeradar.com/forums/viewtop ... 8&start=45

I hope it is English - practice makes perfect.

Spitchips - BANNED

usally you need to impress a girl by having a flashy car, e.g Toyota MR2 and money.

They are normally that shallow.

lost_in_thought

MR2 = a little chav-tastic for my liking...

Now this.... this is a nice car.

Spitchips - BANNED

lost_in_thought wrote:

MR2 = a little chav-tastic for my liking...

Now this.... this is a nice car.

If its the Chimera my Uncle got one, minus the dead worm, when he retired from own business and gave himself a little treat. I love the exhaust notes on them.

The toyota mr2 roadsters are pretty cool though - i dont think any wench (if Cherly Cole and Coleen Mcoughlin are queen of chavs i am not going to complain anyway) would turn down a guy in one anyway - am I being the devils advocate here - especailly prasing cars in a bike forum :oops:

I dont think i would have any complaints with dating a cherly tweedy/cole lookalike anyway, no matter how 'chav' they look.

p.s L_I_T we dont tolerate blatant snobber y in this forum, that is a fine of £10, your debts are racking up quick with me.
Soon you will owe me the TVR, you may as well send me the keys now.

p.p.s yuo can forget the dead worm though!

Spitchips - BANNED

is that a dead dried up worm on the driveway adjacent to the side indicater about 3.5 ft away from car?

greg66_tri_v2.0

Spitchips wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

MR2 = a little chav-tastic for my liking...

Now this.... this is a nice car.

If its the Chimera!

It isn't.

Stick to MR2 worshipping.

Rich158

lost_in_thought wrote:

MR2 = a little chav-tastic for my liking...

Now this.... this is a nice car.

But what girls going to like spending all evening sitting by the road side waiting for the AA. :?

jedster

The toyota mr2 roadsters are pretty cool though - i dont think any wench would turn down a guy in one anyway

Let me guess, you are 15, spend too much time on-line and haven't talked to many real women?



J

prj45

Rich158 wrote:

But what girls going to like spending all evening sitting by the road side waiting for the AA. :?

A car so unreliable apparently that they put a system in that means you don't have to bother phoning roadside assistance when it breaks down, it does it for you.

DonDaddyD

Wow there are so many stereotypes and generalisations.... (Judgmental much any of you?)

Wonder if that logic can be applied to what bike you ride.

usally you need to impress a girl by having a flashy car, e.g Toyota MR2 and money.

Any girl who is impressed by your car and the money you earn is a person not worth knowing.

MR2 = a little chav-tastic for my liking...

Classism :roll:

The MR2, in fact most Toyota's and cars from the Asian continent, are mostly well made, long lasting and hugely reliable - what some want from a car is to get to A - Z quickly but not breakdown through all the other letters of the alphabet or live in fear of breaking down at any possible moment, whilst haveing a good return on fuel - given the class of car that it is.

Owning a car doesn't mean that you are a particular type of person or attest towards a particular lifestyle.

That attitude leads to people getting stopped by police for no good reason but the assumption that they couldn't possibly afford an expensive car...

However, sanctimony off:

The TVR is a pretty looking car, I did wonder what one you actually had.

Spitchips - BANNED

jedster wrote:

The toyota mr2 roadsters are pretty cool though - i dont think any wench would turn down a guy in one anyway

Let me guess, you are 15, spend too much time on-line and haven't talked to many real women?



J

as everyone knows to impress a girl (we are talking a slinky wench hear i.e Cherly Tweedy or Kelly Brook and not some minger like Jade Goody or AMy WInehouse or some scruff) you need a car and money. I can hardly see a girl like cherly tweedy relishing the thought of waiting for a bus in the freezing cold and rain so she can sit next to some more scruffs.

If you see some fit chav girl (no offense intended) ,( if it was a mosher or emo, or gothic then I would have just left them at the bus stop) at the bus stop and its chucking down with rain and blowing a gale and you pull up in your Toyata Roadster or Subuara Impreza and offer her a lift to work or university or were ever she is going I think she would be impressed.

I am not supporting this mode of transport (car) but I do know how girls mind work.

DonDaddyD

Spitchips wrote:

jedster wrote:

The toyota mr2 roadsters are pretty cool though - i dont think any wench would turn down a guy in one anyway

Let me guess, you are 15, spend too much time on-line and haven't talked to many real women?



J

as everyone knows to impress a girl (we are talking a slinky wench hear i.e Cherly Tweedy or Kelly Brook and not some minger like Jade Goody or AMy WInehouse or some scruff) you need a car and money. I can hardly see a girl like cherly tweedy relishing the thought of waiting for a bus in the freezing cold and rain so she can sit next to some more scruffs.

If you see some fit chav girl (no offense intended) ,( if it was a mosher or emo, or gothic then I would have just left them at the bus stop) at the bus stop and its chucking down with rain and blowing a gale and you pull up in your Toyata Roadster or Subuara Impreza and offer her a lift to work or university or were ever she is going I think she would be impressed.

I am not supporting this mode of transport (car) but I do know how girls mind work.

I come to realise that perhaps it is not the girl that is shallow perhaps, but your perception/expectation of them.

Needless to say, you are attracted to what your attracted to. (I am attracted to the girl not her image as the latter can be changed and does with age over time or a mere whim of thought).

In any case I think you missed the point in the bit you quoted:

and haven't talked to many real women?

And

as everyone knows to impress a girl (we are talking a slinky wench hear i.e Cherly Tweedy or Kelly Brook and not some minger like Jade Goody or AMy WInehouse or some scruff) you need a car and money. I can hardly see a girl like cherly tweedy relishing the thought of waiting for a bus

I would argue that a girl like Cheryl Tweedy (or of that image) isn't a real woman or worth knowing if she is that shallow.

I would also point out that Cheryl (the Geordie) before she was famous most likely took the bus.

its chucking down with rain and blowing a gale and you pull up in your Toyata Roadster or Subuara Impreza and offer her a lift to work or university or were ever she is going I think she would be impressed.

Ok an Impreza is not a lap of luxury. Even I am now raising my eyebrows to your choice of cars. An "Scooby" is an impressive engine in a very mediocre car. Also:

I just asked my girlfriend, a lawyer from Essex. What she would think, she said if that happened she'd think rapist.

but I do know how girls mind work.

She also said that you might only know one type of girl....

Spitchips - BANNED

DonDaddyD wrote:

Spitchips wrote:

jedster wrote:

The toyota mr2 roadsters are pretty cool though - i dont think any wench would turn down a guy in one anyway

Let me guess, you are 15, spend too much time on-line and haven't talked to many real women?



J

as everyone knows to impress a girl (we are talking a slinky wench hear i.e Cherly Tweedy or Kelly Brook and not some minger like Jade Goody or AMy WInehouse or some scruff) you need a car and money. I can hardly see a girl like cherly tweedy relishing the thought of waiting for a bus in the freezing cold and rain so she can sit next to some more scruffs.

If you see some fit chav girl (no offense intended) ,( if it was a mosher or emo, or gothic then I would have just left them at the bus stop) at the bus stop and its chucking down with rain and blowing a gale and you pull up in your Toyata Roadster or Subuara Impreza and offer her a lift to work or university or were ever she is going I think she would be impressed.

I am not supporting this mode of transport (car) but I do know how girls mind work.

I come to realise that perhaps it is not the girl that is shallow perhaps, but your perception/expectation of them.

Needless to say, you are attracted to what your attracted to. (I am attracted to the girl not her image as the latter can be changed and does with age over time or a mere whim of thought).

In any case I think you missed the point in the bit you quoted:

and haven't talked to many real women?

And

as everyone knows to impress a girl (we are talking a slinky wench hear i.e Cherly Tweedy or Kelly Brook and not some minger like Jade Goody or AMy WInehouse or some scruff) you need a car and money. I can hardly see a girl like cherly tweedy relishing the thought of waiting for a bus

I would argue that a girl like Cheryl Tweedy (or of that image) isn't a real woman or worth knowing if she is that shallow.

I would also point out that Cheryl (the Geordie) before she was famous most likely took the bus.

its chucking down with rain and blowing a gale and you pull up in your Toyata Roadster or Subuara Impreza and offer her a lift to work or university or were ever she is going I think she would be impressed.

Ok an Impreza is not a lap of luxury. Even I am now raising my eyebrows to your choice of cars. An "Scooby" is an impressive engine in a very mediocre car. Also:

I just asked my girlfriend, a lawyer from Essex. What she would think, she said if that happened she'd think rapist.

but I do know how girls mind work.

She also said that you might only know one type of girl....

Your telling me that your girlffriend is so narrowminded and full of fear of men that if she was late for work and her car had broken down, the taxis were fully booked and she had opted to go by bus and I pulled up in a nice Toyata Roadster and offered her a lift to the courts all she could think is 'rapist'. Charming. Honestly, some women just jump to such hasty conclusions. I had a car before and I felt like a flipping taxi service.

With regards to only knowing one type of girl I dont think I would really want to know any other girls apart from Chavs. I think Coleen MYcoughlin (Wayne Rooneys wife), the queen of Chavs is a very attractive girl and Cherly Tweedy too.

Anyhow I subscirbe to your thoughts of girls who like boys with cars as being shallow. I used to stress that point to my ex-female boss who was only intersted in boys with cars. I am sure me and my ex-boss would have had a few fun rides together had I actually had a car.

Anyway what happened to the old knight in shining armour coming to save the damsel in distress (well foul british weather anyway)?

Cantdosleepy

I impress girls by showing them how much credit I've got on my Oyster.

'Yeah, I topped this up a couple of weeks ago, y'know, just transferred some cash from my HSBC Debit. Bish bosh, job done, easy as, love. Fancy a Ginster's at Baker Street then a trip round the Circle?'
*Cue swooning*

Spitchips - BANNED

Cantdosleepy wrote:

I impress girls by showing them how much credit I've got on my Oyster.

'Yeah, I topped this up a couple of weeks ago, y'know, just transferred some cash from my HSBC Debit. Bish bosh, job done, easy as, love. Fancy a Ginster's at Baker Street then a trip round the Circle?'
*Cue swooning*

I dread to think the standards you have or what cheap slut you have just impressed.

And then they would just use you and abuse you until a fit guy came along in a cool car and then dumped you for him, because in the hierarchial order you sound like pawn in agame of chess.

Cantdosleepy

Good point, well made, and excellent skills in the complex taxonomy of female hyphemisms; I frequently find myself unable to tell a slut from a slag, and a skank from a slut. In general I'm quite excited for 2009 as a year of high quality misogyny - there have been some exciting developments in that field recently, and it's high time we really started classifying those chromosonally overcharged rats-in-skirts with appropriate tags that detail their sexual failings (or our failings w/r/t the same). Good to see you on the vanguard.

Re chess analogy: best to bear in mind that when I pass through Farringdon I turn into a Queen.