How to impress a girl...
Comments
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Totalnewbie wrote:Unfortunately I do indeed have a boyfriend who would likely have taken a dim view of me exchanging numbers and so on :roll:
But if I didn't, I wouldn't necessarily have held the falling thing against you, especially as you apologised so profusely
And I must say you have made some rather flattering comments in this thread which are very nice.
So it was you? You are the object of Sewinman's desires.
"Sewinman and newbie sitting in a tree K-I-S-S I-N-G... first come love and then comes marriage..."BUT
No way did you scalp me at Buck Palace.You passed me because I was slowing because the ped lights round the bend were red - if you were going to scalp me, how come you couldn't catch up on the nice straight stretch of the Mall beforehand? Huh?!
Flattery or no flattery SCR pride is paramount.
A woman after my heart.Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:I am not married.
Before you go to the party tell the wife "You may stay later than previously agreed" This will prepare her mentally because at 10.45 while marginally sober phone her and say "You're having too much fun so don't worry about picking you up you'll get a cab home" Do it in a shouty voice to indicate you can't hear her, should she moan then follow in shouty voice "Can't hear you hun, gotta go".
Should you get too drunk and kip on the sofa at a (male) 'friends' house well at least you were safe and warm.
The night is yours, so let carnage ensue.
Triple D.....
You are not married, so you obviously have not yet discovered that the
"previously agreed" element is Problematic.
When Citibank and Travellers Group "merged in 1998 in the biggest corporate merger in history, creating the biggest financial institution the world had ever seen, the negotiations required a team of almost two hundred to work non stop for nine months. The legal penalites and assurances required were so severe that the US government had to stockpile "whup ass" just in case it all unraveled.
This all pales into insignificance when you consider the challenges faced by a married man with the task of getting a night out without supervision from the hausfrau.
Not only do the negotiations involve months of planning and giving way (it is not a zero sum game you will lose) should you breach any of the terms and conditions (even those you don't know about) the penalties are truly horrific.
Once you and the Mrs agree on a time then the Atomic Clocks are set and you are running down your seconds, as for the "state you are in" this needs medical precision as you risk "coming home drunk" which is next to "killing puppies in a food blender" in the list of crimes punishable by months of frosty looks and low level sniping.
As for staying out, for a night, post a drinking session....
You may as well bring your floozy home with you, burn down your house and plough your garden with salt.Fixed gear for wet weather / hairy roadie for posing in the sun.
What would Thora Hurd do?0 -
Totalnewbie wrote:But you suddenly stopped enjoying the view when I slowed for the lights and you saw your chance? A likely story... :roll:
It was miles away from the lights. And i could not take you before hand cos you were filtering at a sensible pace. Is this our first argument!?
Hilarious. 0 -
Sewinman wrote:Totalnewbie wrote:No way did you scalp me at Buck Palace.You passed me because I was slowing because the ped lights round the bend were red - if you were going to scalp me, how come you couldn't catch up on the nice straight stretch of the Mall beforehand? Huh?!
I was enjoying the view! 8)
May anyone who says that they haven't done this burn in hell for their damned lies.
But you have well and truly blown any possible chance (BF apart) it by claiming a false scalp. I hope this doesn't involve a RLJ or this could go on forever.0 -
They were not miles away, they were just around the bend and I could see they were red. I am pretty cautious on that bit anyway, as you very often get other cyclists and motorists playing silly buggers and cutting you up etc, and a few weeks ago one nearly crashed into me overtaking me on the bend too tightly had I not swerved (he also went 'whoa whoa, sorry sorry!' was that you too? )
Anyhoo, my fellow SCRs will no doubt agree that you can only scalp someone on the open road, of which there was plenty before I had to start filtering. Roundabouts don't count.
I am sure it is not an argument anyway. The word argument implies that the winner is unknown at the start of it... 0 -
To be fair, fellow SCRs, he ddn't jump a red, they changed just as he got to them, jammy git.0
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Greg T wrote:
When Citibank and Travellers Group "merged in 1998 in the biggest corporate merger in history, creating the biggest financial institution the world had ever seen, the negotiations required a team of almost two hundred to work non stop for nine months. The legal penalites and assurances required were so severe that the US government had to stockpile "whup ass" just in case it all unraveled.
This all pales into insignificance when you consider the challenges faced by a married man with the task of getting a night out without supervision from the hausfrau.
You sir are on form today. LOLOnce you and the Mrs agree on a time then the Atomic Clocks are set and you are running down your seconds, as for the "state you are in" this needs medical precision as you risk "coming home drunk" which is next to "killing puppies in a food blender" in the list of crimes punishable by months of frosty looks and low level sniping.
My girlfriend does this!
She was none to pleased at the state I rolled in after the SCR christmas party.Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
Totalnewbie wrote:
Anyhoo, my fellow SCRs will no doubt agree that you can only scalp someone on the open road, of which there was plenty before I had to start filtering. Roundabouts don't count.
This isn't true, you can have a filter battle. Such a battle is a test of balance, control and bike handling (at low speeds) and forward planning.
I've lost many.Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
Granted - it is a tight spot. Actually, I know it wasnt a scalp and I saw you slowing and thought it a good time to make a break for it before I randomly fell off, or did some other ridiculous act of stupidity/clumsiness.
Anyway, thats made my day. Random!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? :P0 -
Greg T wrote:"Go ugly early and avoid later disappointment" should be drummed into youth when they order their first alcopops.
I would counsel against getting girls drunk however, before you know it they are crying about something or other and expect you to listen to them.
Don't ask me what the pathway is but just north of "up for it minx" is "mascarra running down her blotchy face, "why did he leave me'?", teary moan bag".
Stone cold sober but desperate is the ideal candidate.
This smells WAY too much like 1st hand experience, do you also own a large collection of "fun" waistcoats and novelty xmas ties...Rule #5 // Harden The Feck Up.
Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.0 -
Sewinman wrote:Granted - it is a tight spot. Actually, I know it wasnt a scalp and I saw you slowing and thought it a good time to make a break for it before I randomly fell off, or did some other ridiculous act of stupidity/clumsiness.
Anyway, thats made my day. Random!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? :P You know you have to say hello next time you see me now....
And DDD, I don't agree with filter battle. Seriously compromises safety. I always filter at low speeds (and never if the space means I might get too close to the vehicle, because you can't exactly trust the drivers' movements and you need to leave yourself a bit of room). Other cyclists are usually much more daring than I but that's their lookout.
A door was flung open while filtering the other day (Vauxhall gyratory, NOT a good place to offload a passenger :shock: ) and I was so grateful that I was at the very low speed I was doing (with one foot unclipped). It meant I remained able to give the bloke a telling off with only a slightly sore finger (the door caught it).
He also apologised profusely. I am sensing a theme here... :twisted:0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:Sewinman wrote:I was on a black Trek 1.2 and sporting blue chinos with white socks. I also scalped her at the Buck Palace round about....! :twisted:
So funny...! :?
Black socks dude, wear black or blue socks.
Sorry - I was teased as a kid for wearing white socks and shoes....
Who even owns whites socks?
Next you'll be telling us you wear socks and sandals.Rule #5 // Harden The Feck Up.
Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.0 -
itboffin wrote:This smells WAY too much like 1st hand experience, do you also own a large collection of "fun" waistcoats and novelty xmas ties...
Your username is IT Boffin, I have proof that you own two Disney ties (Tigger and Winnie the Pooh) and wear shirts with short sleeves at work. You also know more Klingon than German.
K'Plau!
The case for the defence rests.Fixed gear for wet weather / hairy roadie for posing in the sun.
What would Thora Hurd do?0 -
Sewinman wrote::oops: Saw this really hot girl last night on the Mall. So i pulled up next to her and went to check her out, only to find that i had forgotten to unclip and slowly began to topple toward her. I managed to break my fall by grabbing her handle bars and yanking my foot out of the clip, she nearly went over too. I started apologising like a maniac and she said 'don't worry about it' to which i turned away and waited in a fit of self loathing before the lights changed. :oops: :roll:
If you want to read all about it go to:
http://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=12600.0<i><font size="1"><font color="brown">The older I get, the better I was</font id="brown"></font id="size1"></i>0 -
Greg T wrote:itboffin wrote:This smells WAY too much like 1st hand experience, do you also own a large collection of "fun" waistcoats and novelty xmas ties...
Your username is IT Boffin, I have proof that you own two Disney ties (Tigger and Winnie the Pooh) and wear shirts with short sleeves at work. You also know more Klingon than German.
K'Plau!
The case for the defence rests.
Yes they love it at the job centre, ah thankyou!Rule #5 // Harden The Feck Up.
Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.0 -
BornAgainCyclist wrote:Sewinman wrote::oops: Saw this really hot girl last night on the Mall. So i pulled up next to her and went to check her out, only to find that i had forgotten to unclip and slowly began to topple toward her. I managed to break my fall by grabbing her handle bars and yanking my foot out of the clip, she nearly went over too. I started apologising like a maniac and she said 'don't worry about it' to which i turned away and waited in a fit of self loathing before the lights changed. :oops: :roll:
If you want to read all about it go to:
http://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=12600.0
OUCH!Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
BornAgainCyclist wrote:If you want to read all about it go to:
http://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=12600.0
TNB has a secret "other life" she's been posting on other sites behind our backs.
I feel used and dirty, but in a bad way.Ah they're obsessed with romantic comedies over there...it's kind of a standing joke. There are some 'interesting' characters, shall we say...
Come on then TNB (if THATs your real name. Who are the oddballs?Fixed gear for wet weather / hairy roadie for posing in the sun.
What would Thora Hurd do?0 -
...she's talking about us...calling us "characters"...
...I'm not sure about the "romantic comedy" thing...I think it's more smut and filth and innuendo and silly school boy jokes......all the way...'til the wheels fall off and burn...0 -
BentMikey is on that other forum....I had wondered what happened to him....always good in a helmet debate!
AND they have a good thread which I will start in cakestop.Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle, I believe in the future of the human race.
H.G. Wells.0 -
...plus there's one lady not impressed at all......all the way...'til the wheels fall off and burn...0
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Phew it really is a day for outing, G66 anything you want to tell the group
Rule #5 // Harden The Feck Up.
Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.0 -
This worked for me...
I've been admiring your bottom....................bracket
Your nipples look as though they need greasing and
how do fantastic legs like those generate so much power?
Big smile....can I buy you a coffee at the next cafe?Tarmac Chewer0 -
cee wrote:BentMikey is on that other forum....I had wondered what happened to him....always good in a helmet debate!
Am I the only one that finds that incredibly funny?
That's Peter "Looked at me as though I'd pissed all over there kids on Christmas day" Kay levels of funnyFood Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
It seems that the reason cycling will never replace driving as the primary form of transport is actually that cyclists are incapable of breeding.
It's like watching pigeons argue-advising one another on the best way to tie a full windsor.0 -
Just goes to show no one listens to a word I say... :roll:
I was actually talking about YACF at the SCR Xmas party...it's not exactly a secret, sorry to disappoint. I mentioned I'd taken the chance to 'update' my username and have even spent several weekends away with various forummers. I do most of my group riding with yacfers actually There is certainly less willy-waving over there...
And oh yes there is a romantic comedy theme here - remember Don Don's romcom for a start?
It's the first time I've had reason to mention you lot if it makes you feel any better. But when there's a whole thread about me on here, how could I resist!?
As for the interesting characters...you can draw your own conclusions!0 -
Totalnewbie wrote:
1. There is certainly less willy-waving over there...
yadda yadda yadda
2. As for the interesting characters...you can draw your own conclusions!
1. Sounds rubbbish
Also
2. It's ITB isn't it.Fixed gear for wet weather / hairy roadie for posing in the sun.
What would Thora Hurd do?0 -
Totalnewbie wrote:and have even spent several weekends away with various forummers.
Where have you gone? How many of you go? There is a group of SCR lot that go away for weekend rides together... Why them?As for the interesting characters...you can draw your own conclusions!
There is certainly less willy-waving over there...
Legally I'm not allowed to wave it around in public... as much I'd like to. I might take someones eye out. :shock:Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
Greg T wrote:Totalnewbie wrote:
1. There is certainly less willy-waving over there...
yadda yadda yadda
2. As for the interesting characters...you can draw your own conclusions!
1. Sounds rubbbish
Also
2. It's ITB isn't it.
Oi! I add stability to the insanity, I have mentioned you MASSIVE RING for ages.Rule #5 // Harden The Feck Up.
Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:Legally I'm not allowed to wave it around in public... as much I'd like to. I might take someones eye out. :shock:
Despite my po-faced moral police reputation I spat burrito over my keyboard at that one
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DonDaddyD wrote:Totalnewbie wrote:and have even spent several weekends away with various forummers.
Where have you gone? How many of you go? There is a group of SCR lot that go away for weekend rides together... Why them?
:
No they don't or else I have missed them. To my knowledge there has only been the Richmond Park ride/s and I gave that a miss because there is no way I am fast enough to do speedy laps of RP.
YACFers generally do fantastic rides on nice routes interspersed with fab pubs and good cake stops, so it's not a hard choice. The emphasis is usually on having a good time in good company rather than speed, mostly they are not 'training rides'. I am lazy so this appeals. Look on the rides and touring section on YACF for past and future rides if you are that interested, they are all documented!
And don't feel slighted, it's better here now than it was, but you have to admit for a very long time it was bloody dead here :roll:0
