Your rants here.

clarkey cat

Recruitment Consultants.

Actually, I should qualify that - some are excellent. Really considering your experience, your aspirations and your personality to suitable roles.

Some though (I name no names but they may or may not be based on Southampton Row) just send you a list of every firm that has ever done anything possibly tenuously linked to what you do and say: "any of these interest you?" with another list of firms with "they don't really do what you do but may be worth making a speculative application?"

:x

rick_chasey

clarkey cat wrote:

Recruitment Consultants.

Actually, I should qualify that - some are excellent. Really considering your experience, your aspirations and your personality to suitable roles.

Some though (I name no names but they may or may not be based on Southampton Row) just send you a list of every firm that has ever done anything possibly tenuously linked to what you do and say: "any of these interest you?" with another list of firms with "they don't really do what you do but may be worth making a speculative application?"

:x

There's a name for those - contingent monkeys.

mudcow007

just nipped out in a works van to pick some mirrored doors for fitted wardrobes im told i have to build

pick doors up, drive home unload one a-ok go to unload the second and smashy!

fecking peeeed off

clarkey cat

There's a name for those - contingent monkeys.

Last autumn I had an approach for a role "we dont have a job spec yet" they said. "okay, well, Im off on honeymoon now for 2 weeks but let me see the job spec and I'll let you know when I get back"

email received on honeymoon:

"Interview arranged for X date [whilst on honeymoon]"

rick_chasey

clarkey cat wrote:

There's a name for those - contingent monkeys.

Last autumn I had an approach for a role "we dont have a job spec yet" they said. "okay, well, Im off on honeymoon now for 2 weeks but let me see the job spec and I'll let you know when I get back"

email received on honeymoon:

"Interview arranged for X date [whilst on honeymoon]"

Oh dear.

I'd be sacked for less.

Ben6899

Rick Chasey wrote:

clarkey cat wrote:

There's a name for those - contingent monkeys.

Last autumn I had an approach for a role "we dont have a job spec yet" they said. "okay, well, Im off on honeymoon now for 2 weeks but let me see the job spec and I'll let you know when I get back"

email received on honeymoon:

"Interview arranged for X date [whilst on honeymoon]"

Oh dear.

I'd be sacked for less.

I would hope so, Rick. In my experience, you lot (and I apologise for lumping you in that) are a bunch of feckless wankers.

Lazy job research
Inaccurate job specs
Broken promises
Lack of feedback
Tenuous leads
Me generally doing the work for them
Threatening language [in one case many moons ago] when I dared to deliberate over the finer details of the contract

...

I could go on.

rick_chasey

Ben6899 wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

clarkey cat wrote:

There's a name for those - contingent monkeys.

Last autumn I had an approach for a role "we dont have a job spec yet" they said. "okay, well, Im off on honeymoon now for 2 weeks but let me see the job spec and I'll let you know when I get back"

email received on honeymoon:

"Interview arranged for X date [whilst on honeymoon]"

Oh dear.

I'd be sacked for less.

I would hope so, Rick. In my experience, you lot (and I apologise for lumping you in that) are a bunch of feckless wankers.

Lazy job research
Inaccurate job specs
Broken promises
Lack of feedback
Tenuous leads
Me generally doing the work for them
Threatening language [in one case many moons ago] when I dared to deliberate over the finer details of the contract

...

I could go on.

Yeah.

The obvious (and harsh) answer is to earn more money so that you get a better quality of recruiter . If they're only getting 10-15k a pop from placing you they're hardly going to give it a lot of attention or attract good people to do it :P

FWIW, I tend to freak people out by reciting their career history at them as well as their current role and where they sit in the business, despite having never spoken to them before .

I then get the tricky question of "how do you know all that?" to which the inevitable response is "I make it my business to know"....

Ben6899

Rick Chasey wrote:

The obvious (and harsh) answer is to earn more money so that you get a better quality of recruiter . If they're only getting 10-15k a pop from placing you they're hardly going to give it a lot of attention or attract good people to do it :P

Which tells everything we need to know about recruitment consultants.

FWIW, I do earn a decent wedge...

clarkey cat

FWIW, I do earn a decent wedge...

lend us a tenner...?

Ben6899

clarkey cat wrote:

FWIW, I do earn a decent wedge...

lend us a tenner...?

I'm saving up, mate. Otherwise I would.

rick_chasey

Ben6899 wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

The obvious (and harsh) answer is to earn more money so that you get a better quality of recruiter . If they're only getting 10-15k a pop from placing you they're hardly going to give it a lot of attention or attract good people to do it :P

Which tells everything we need to know about recruitment consultants.

FWIW, I do earn a decent wedge...

I'm being a little flippant.

If it's retained searches - i.e. their client has paid them a bit of money up front for a particular role for the research and the candidate lists then they'll probably be OK. In this settup, even if they don't hire anyone, the search firm at least gets paid on their research > in return there's a demand for good research and good candidates.

If they're contingent, or generally unretained they're basically hanging their ass out of the window to see what feels it. There is no incentive there to put in the full work, since for all they know, there might not even be a job at the end, since all they have from their client is a verbal. It gets even worse when they have heard on the grapevine that there might be an opening at x, so they fire a load of CVs at them in the hope they might get a few through the door.

In desperate times we'll go unretained, but only because we don't have enough on so we might as well do the work for it.

At the really low grad end, as far as I know anyway, all they do is pump out millions of CVs in the hope one or two stick.

In my experience, if you come across at all spivvy, say you have a million mandates when it's obviously sh!t out there, or you don't understand what they do, it's a pretty short conversation.

Do that too often and you won't get the info from people needed for good research. If everyone thinks you're a tosser, how are you going to get the market info that sets you apart from every other guy who does recruitment?

People will only tell me things and speak to me if they a) think I'm trustworthy and honest with them and b) think I'm good enough to have proper clients who have good roles. If I'm desperate enough that I swear at them, then where's their incentive to work with me and help me out?

We find out things like bonuses or cuts at our client's rivals sometimes before they're announced at the rival firm. Journos call my bosses for market info on moves, and sure enough, 2hrs after the phone-call it's up there on their website.

Similarly we'd be out of business pretty quickly if we didn't know what our clients were looking for, since we'd probably end up wasting their time with unsuitable candidates.

If you're getting calls for vague jobs that are uber-general, and don't go anywhere, they're just fishing for info, (presumably because they're not well enough connected to get the info from their relationships).

As for abuse for not signing? Crazy.

Ben6899

I knew you were, Rick.

I would love to write down all my experiences here, but I have neither the time nor the real will at the moment. Maybe one day over a pint, if I ever make it to a CC social at the Morpeth or wherever... I've been treated pretty shit by a good few [well respected] recuruitment consultants.

I suppose when you're thrown on the heap, in the middle of a recession, in a saturated market then all you are - in the eyes of some - is a commodity that happens to be in surplus. No need to look after it too well, there'll always be another one to give to the client.

And there is definitely LOTS of fishing that goes on out there - like a massive CV amnesty where we all hand over our 'weapons' to the recruitment consultant to use at his or her will.

It wasn't exactly refusing to sign. I saw a job advertised and got in touch with the recruitment consultant. When I went for the informal chat, I liked the look of the work but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't the best move for my development. I explained to the recruiter that for me to move places of work for no real professional or development gains, then I would only be tempted by a significant payrise - otherwise I might as well stay where I am. She accused me of trying to play the system to get an offer and then a counter-offer from my then employer. I told her to never call me again and put the phone down.

EDIT: and then I received some VERY WEIRD texts from her, which is another little story in its own right!

Sorry, but it leaves a bitter taste and I shouldn't tar you all with the same brush.

rick_chasey

Ben6899 wrote:

I knew you were, Rick.

I would love to write down all my experiences here, but I have neither the time nor the real will at the moment. Maybe one day over a pint, if I ever make it to a CC social at the Morpeth or wherever... I've been treated pretty shoot by a good few [well respected] recuruitment consultants.

I suppose when you're thrown on the heap, in the middle of a recession, in a saturated market then all you are - in the eyes of some - is a commodity that happens to be in surplus. No need to look after it too well, there'll always be another one to give to the client.

And there is definitely LOTS of fishing that goes on out there - like a massive CV amnesty where we all hand over our 'weapons' to the recruitment consultant to use at his or her will.

It wasn't exactly refusing to sign. I saw a job advertised and got in touch with the recruitment consultant. When I went for the informal chat, I liked the look of the work but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't the best move for my development. I explained to the recruiter that for me to move places of work for no real professional or development gains, then I would only be tempted by a significant payrise - otherwise I might as well stay where I am. She accused me of trying to play the system to get an offer and then a counter-offer from my then employer. I told her to never call me again and put the phone down.

Sorry, but it leaves a bitter taste and I shouldn't tar you all with the same brush.

First time I ever called an estate agent to ask if I could see some places in x price bracket since I was starting a job in two weeks the guy said

[uber sarky voice] "OOOH, you just want to LOOK around do you? See what's out there? Have a nice Saturday LOOKING AROUND places? Don't waste my time you loser" [/ sarky voice].

Brokers eh?


(as an aside, people getting bought back is the worst thing that can happen for a recruiter... That happening has cost me thousands personally this year).

Ben6899

Rick Chasey wrote:

First time I ever called an estate agent to ask if I could see some places in x price bracket since I was starting a job in two weeks the guy said

[uber sarky voice] "OOOH, you just want to LOOK around do you? See what's out there? Have a nice Saturday LOOKING AROUND places? Don't waste my time you loser" [/ sarky voice].

Brokers eh?

In London? Come on, tell us which agent it was.

rick_chasey

Ben6899 wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

First time I ever called an estate agent to ask if I could see some places in x price bracket since I was starting a job in two weeks the guy said

[uber sarky voice] "OOOH, you just want to LOOK around do you? See what's out there? Have a nice Saturday LOOKING AROUND places? Don't waste my time you loser" [/ sarky voice].

Brokers eh?

In London? Come on, tell us which agent it was.

http://www.cityquays.co.uk/

veronese68

One of my former colleagues phoned and estate agent and had a right old go at him for laughing at his wife. I asked why and he said he'd laughed when she asked for a 3 bedroom detached house with a garage in Kingston for less than £100k (this was about 15years ago). I laughed at him and told him they were dreaming and he got the hump with me as well.
Considering I'd paid over that for a 2 bed semi 12 months earlier and prices had gone up significantly since then I think I was right.

Ben6899

Rick Chasey wrote:

Ben6899 wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

First time I ever called an estate agent to ask if I could see some places in x price bracket since I was starting a job in two weeks the guy said

[uber sarky voice] "OOOH, you just want to LOOK around do you? See what's out there? Have a nice Saturday LOOKING AROUND places? Don't waste my time you loser" [/ sarky voice].

Brokers eh?

In London? Come on, tell us which agent it was.

http://www.cityquays.co.uk/

Why do agents always have pretentious names?

evil_breakfast

After a sh1te day @ work, i couldn't wait to get home and crack open a cold one.
half way home and my front CatEye HL500 decides to make a break for freedom.
Quick shoulder check and emergency stop, just in time to see the carnage as a car drives over it.

cyclingprop

Public transport. And a sore throat.

jzed

Someone calling me a fat bar steward.

dhope

JZed wrote:

Someone calling me a fat bar steward.

You're not a bar steward

jzed

dhope wrote:

JZed wrote:

Someone calling me a fat bar steward.

You're not a bar steward

Thanks Dhope - I feel better now.

cyclingprop

JZed wrote:

Someone calling me a fat bar steward.

Offering a pint to someone you've never met, but called king of the fatties in a light hearted way.

...

Pint JZ?

redvee

Morrisons savers jam is cheap cause it's cr@p.The only thing remotley stravberry related about it is the colour.

MonkeyMonster

red light jumpers...
if you can see your behaviour is adding to the general consensus that cyclists don't obey rules YET you continue - I detest you, I hope you get blown off your bike (ie no one else is involved) into a river and float away to a different country.
if you can't see your behaviour is adding to the general consensus that cyclists don't obey rules then I pity you.
If you happen to have a view that people are stupid to tihnk one persons behaviour is indicative of others - this is irrelevant - mobs aren't intelligent.
and breathe...

optimisticbiker

MonkeyMonster wrote:

red light jumpers...
if you can see your behaviour is adding to the general consensus that cyclists don't obey rules YET you continue - I detest you, I hope you get blown off your bike (ie no one else is involved) into a river and float away to a different country.
if you can't see your behaviour is adding to the general consensus that cyclists don't obey rules then I pity you.
If you happen to have a view that people are stupid to tihnk one persons behaviour is indicative of others - this is irrelevant - mobs aren't intelligent.
and breathe...

Adding to this... how come they never see that their actions have consequences that may affect others... I was nearly wiped out today by a car taking avoiding action due to a RLJer coming in from the right and turning into our traffic flow. He wasn't going that fast so I caught him up and told him what I thought of his actions... his response (the clean version) "not my problem".... short of beating him senseless with my d-lock there wasn't a lot more to say

sketchley

OptimisticBiker wrote:

MonkeyMonster wrote:

red light jumpers...
if you can see your behaviour is adding to the general consensus that cyclists don't obey rules YET you continue - I detest you, I hope you get blown off your bike (ie no one else is involved) into a river and float away to a different country.
if you can't see your behaviour is adding to the general consensus that cyclists don't obey rules then I pity you.
If you happen to have a view that people are stupid to tihnk one persons behaviour is indicative of others - this is irrelevant - mobs aren't intelligent.
and breathe...

Adding to this... how come they never see that their actions have consequences that may affect others... I was nearly wiped out today by a car taking avoiding action due to a RLJer coming in from the right and turning into our traffic flow. He wasn't going that fast so I caught him up and told him what I thought of his actions... his response (the clean version) "not my problem".... short of beating him senseless with my d-lock there wasn't a lot more to say

I had a motorist say this to me once having flagged him down after he left hooked me. After I said "it'll be your f**king problem in a minute mate" he went white and drove off rapidly, much to the amusement of two blokes standing on the pavement.

rick_chasey

Sketchley wrote:

OptimisticBiker wrote:

MonkeyMonster wrote:

red light jumpers...
if you can see your behaviour is adding to the general consensus that cyclists don't obey rules YET you continue - I detest you, I hope you get blown off your bike (ie no one else is involved) into a river and float away to a different country.
if you can't see your behaviour is adding to the general consensus that cyclists don't obey rules then I pity you.
If you happen to have a view that people are stupid to tihnk one persons behaviour is indicative of others - this is irrelevant - mobs aren't intelligent.
and breathe...

Adding to this... how come they never see that their actions have consequences that may affect others... I was nearly wiped out today by a car taking avoiding action due to a RLJer coming in from the right and turning into our traffic flow. He wasn't going that fast so I caught him up and told him what I thought of his actions... his response (the clean version) "not my problem".... short of beating him senseless with my d-lock there wasn't a lot more to say

I had a motorist say this to me once having flagged him down after he left hooked me. After I said "it'll be your f**king problem in a minute mate" he went white and drove off rapidly, much to the amusement of two blokes standing on the pavement.

Yeah that's probably not the best cause of action. I've been kicked whilst lying on the floor by drivers for doing less.

rjsterry

Rick Chasey wrote:

Sketchley wrote:

OptimisticBiker wrote:

MonkeyMonster wrote:

red light jumpers...
if you can see your behaviour is adding to the general consensus that cyclists don't obey rules YET you continue - I detest you, I hope you get blown off your bike (ie no one else is involved) into a river and float away to a different country.
if you can't see your behaviour is adding to the general consensus that cyclists don't obey rules then I pity you.
If you happen to have a view that people are stupid to tihnk one persons behaviour is indicative of others - this is irrelevant - mobs aren't intelligent.
and breathe...

Adding to this... how come they never see that their actions have consequences that may affect others... I was nearly wiped out today by a car taking avoiding action due to a RLJer coming in from the right and turning into our traffic flow. He wasn't going that fast so I caught him up and told him what I thought of his actions... his response (the clean version) "not my problem".... short of beating him senseless with my d-lock there wasn't a lot more to say

I had a motorist say this to me once having flagged him down after he left hooked me. After I said "it'll be your f**king problem in a minute mate" he went white and drove off rapidly, much to the amusement of two blokes standing on the pavement.

Yeah that's probably not the best cause of action. I've been kicked whilst lying on the floor by drivers for doing less.

Sheesh, you do seem to attract more than your share Rick.

clarkey cat

it's probably because he's a small lad. Can't see a motorist getting out their car to give JZed a kicking.