Your rants here.

Tricycleboy

Cyclists who ride across Zebra crossings to join the traffic- forcing a load of other cyclists and cars to stop for them.

If you're a kid or you're with kids- fine

If you're an adult and i'm doing 25 down the embankment - you can f**k right off.

If you're that afraid of joining the big bad traffic then walk across a pelican crossing or similar, and set off on the other side.

to the girl who did this in front of me this morning, who then RLJ'd the next 2 sets of lights. It took all my zen breathing excercises to not shout copious expletives at you.

jonny_trousers

Tricycleboy wrote:

Cyclists who ride across Zebra crossings to join the traffic- forcing a load of other cyclists and cars to stop for them.

If you're a kid or you're with kids- fine

If you're an adult and i'm doing 25 down the embankment - you can f**k right off.

If you're that afraid of joining the big bad traffic then walk across a pelican crossing or similar, and set off on the other side.

to the girl who did this in front of me this morning, who then RLJ'd the next 2 sets of lights. It took all my zen breathing excercises to not shout copious expletives at you.

My pet hate too mate.

el_presidente

Jonny_Trousers wrote:

Tricycleboy wrote:

Cyclists who ride across Zebra crossings to join the traffic- forcing a load of other cyclists and cars to stop for them.

If you're a kid or you're with kids- fine

If you're an adult and i'm doing 25 down the embankment - you can f**k right off.

If you're that afraid of joining the big bad traffic then walk across a pelican crossing or similar, and set off on the other side.

to the girl who did this in front of me this morning, who then RLJ'd the next 2 sets of lights. It took all my zen breathing excercises to not shout copious expletives at you.

My pet hate too mate.

I don't give way to them, they look affronted usually

asprilla

I don't give way to cyclists on zebra crossings either, not if they are riding their bike anyway/

rjsterry

SimonAH wrote:

Yesterday, after about three hours of sorting out invoices and receipts on the dining room table trying to do my expenses I said "Dash it all, I'm going for a ride before my eyes fall out" or words to that effect.

"Can I come Daddy" pipes up the fruit of my loins"

"Of course you can sweetie" says I groaning inwardly as my ride has now been reduced from an hours blast to a pootle at seven year old pace.

Nope. Was actually fifteen minutes to the park. Then half an hour standing around waiting whilst various bits of playground equipment were destruct tested. Then two minutes to the boating lake and another half an hour standing round on bike guard duty whilst a pedal boat is engaged for aqueous dodgems. Then two minutes to the sweet shop and ten further minutes on guard duty whilst the correct sugar is selected and purchased.

Then the glorious autumn sunshine disappeared and it started to rain so a quick ride home.

Aaaaargh!!!!!

You wants a Tag Along. Extra motive power/resistance training depending on the abilities of miniAH and no arguments about route.

Koncordski

They do it here all the time http://g.co/maps/bkc7

Coming out of lots road they then use the zebra to join the traffic going east. If they get off and walk i stop, if they cycle across i positively aim at them! :twisted:

suzyb

Well that was a great day at work.

Started this morning with the team getting chewed out for standards slipping (after last weeks various c**k ups) and finished with me almost being forced into the oncoming lane after a car decided to keep pace with me at the red light when I had no choice but to stop in the right hand lane.

Hope you had a good laugh Mr looks like Jesus. Cause I saw where you turned in and that scheme is not that big.

Tricycleboy

Koncordski wrote:

They do it here all the time http://g.co/maps/bkc7

Coming out of lots road they then use the zebra to join the traffic going east. If they get off and walk i stop, if they cycle across i positively aim at them! :twisted:

That is pretty much the worst spot in the whole of London for it. Drives me mental as there is always a line of traffic in the morning, and the amount of times i've had to slam on the anchors at that spot for some d!ck crossing from the right, beacuse you can't see if the traffic has stopped for some old dear or another arrogant sodding cyclist.

we should be allowed tasers. :twisted:

bails87

There's a village somewhere missing it's arssehole!

I've seen this idiot in a grey Saab estate, W14 ERO, doing stupid things on three seperate occasions. I'm oh so fortunate to share a commute with him :evil:

He's an old guy, who, to look at, you'd think he was the friendly village GP, or a retired vicar or head of the bowls committee, something like that. Turns out he's an angry little man and an utter c*nt.

He very nearly hit me when I was cycling in one morning a few months back, down a narrow country lane with just about room for a single car. I was no more than 100 yards away from a T junction with a major road, I was doing ~20mph, he came flying up behind me at 50, I realised he wasn't going to stop so had to move as far left as I could, including leaning the bike, and he only just avoided me with his wing mirror.

A few seconds later I catch up to him at the junction where he's predictably had to stop, he's indicating right, so I go up the left, as he looks left to check for traffic, his window is open a crack so I politely and calmly say "Could you leave some more space next time please" to which he replies with a snarling "F*****CCCCKKKK OOOOOFFFFFFF!!!!". Not a dismissive "yeah yeah, whatever, no harm done" f*ck off but a "If you don't f*ck off right now I'll back the car up and run you over" type of f*ck off. Nice.

Anyway, it's a number plate and car that I remembered for obvious reasons, so imagine my delight when he pulls out of a side road and begins following me this morning when I was driving in.

"Old man c*nty bollox" tailgated for a bit (I was doing 40 in a 40, the horror), then tried to pass me on my right while we were going round a roundabout, despite the fact we were both taking the same exit. Then we get to the end of the 40 zone, and we're into a NSL road, so, being a sensible driver, I check my mirrors before accelerating, he's behind me still. Foot down, up to 60. A quick glance in the mirrors again, and what's this? Granpa d*ckcheese is trying to overtake, past a car driving at the speed limit already, across a solid white line, with a bus rapidly approaching us. He pulled in with inches between the front of my car and his towbar. Then, 300 yards up the road we stop (anticipation isn't this priick's strongpoint) at the traffic lights, where the road splits into three lanes, I'm going right, so get in the right hand lane, he's still in lane 1 as he's going straight on. And all of a sudden he's spotted something very engrossing on his passenger side front window because he's transfixed on it and refuses to look over at me.

Absolute f*cking liability, unfortunately the police are useless without evidence and witnesses (fair enough really, I could be someone out to cause unjustified hassle for him) but if I see him do something stupid and it gets caught on my headcam I'll be reporting him in a flash, the miserable old f*cker shouldn't be driving, he's going to kill someone if he keeps doing what he's doing.
:evil:


....and breathe.....

rick_chasey

http://regarchive.com/plate/W14ERO

bails87

Rick Chasey wrote:

http://regarchive.com/plate/W14ERO

?

nation

First real commuting altercation today, with a private hire driver.

Cut me up on a two lane road so that he would get to a red light three quarters of a second quicker, then had the gall to try to tell me off for riding in "the middle of the road" (i.e. primary position).

No arguing with d*ckheads really.

PO Paul

If you're an elderly lady pulling a huge suitcase, accompanied by (probably) your grandson pulling an equally large suitcase, you shouldn't really start crossing the road with a cyclist going downhill about 15 yards away from you, especially when it's raining and the roads are wet/slippery. Considering there was a set of traffic lights about 30 yards away I think I was entitled to call you a stupid woman. I didn't expect the reply of "shut your fcuking mouth" though, (sets a good example to the accompanying child, jaywalking and swearing).

optimisticbiker

bails87 wrote:

There's a village somewhere missing it's arssehole!

I've seen this idiot in a grey Saab estate, W14 ERO, doing stupid things on three seperate occasions. I'm oh so fortunate to share a commute with him :evil:.....

Well he is insured, so can't get him on that: AskMID gives: SAAB 9-5 AERO (HOT) 2290

bails87

OptimisticBiker wrote:

bails87 wrote:

There's a village somewhere missing it's arssehole!

I've seen this idiot in a grey Saab estate, W14 ERO, doing stupid things on three seperate occasions. I'm oh so fortunate to share a commute with him :evil:.....

Well he is insured, so can't get him on that: AskMID gives: SAAB 9-5 AERO (HOT) 2290

Yeah, already checked that And the fact it's an aero explains the '4 ERO' in the number plate.

There's plenty of unmarked police cars around here (including one that's identical to mine, even down to the first 4 letters of the numberplate :shock: :? ) so hopefully he'll do something stupid in front of one of them.

king_jeffers

PO Paul wrote:

I didn't expect the reply of "shut your fcuking mouth" though, (sets a good example to the accompanying child, jaywalking and swearing).

you don't expect that from the oldies, with age comes wisdom, but... not a better comeback. Disappointing!

Edit: My rant;

Cycle paths + horse poop + dog poop & at least 6 mini dog like creatures running free. The dogs made a great obstacle course I should have thanked her for the training, look forward to the same tomorrow and the day after.

georgee

I stopped at a zebra crossing next to Parsons Green this morning as someone was about to step out, one fuckwit drafting me cuts past me across the crossing.

The fuckit drafting him runs straight into the back of me. Apparently it's my fault for stopping too quickly. Thanks, I now have a broken saddle and I still havn't heard from him even though I gave him my details...

Doubtful he would but i'll keep my eye out for him.

bails87

Too close:


Much too close, just like every time she goes past me, only this time I can see on the video that she's only holding the wheel with the finger and thumb of one hand. Nice to know when she's in charge of 3,000kg of Range Rover which is within touching distance. :evil:

PO Paul

If you're an elderly lady pulling a huge suitcase, accompanied by (probably) your grandson pulling an equally large suitcase, you shouldn't really start crossing the road with a cyclist going downhill about 15 yards away from you, especially when it's raining and the roads are wet/slippery. Considering there was a set of traffic lights about 30 yards away I think I was entitled to call you a stupid woman. I didn't expect the reply of "shut your fcuking mouth" though, (sets a good example to the accompanying child, jaywalking and swearing).

Must be something in the water in Streatham at the moment, another one last night!
An obese, gum chewing, teenage mother, with her sprog in a pushchair just stepped out into the High Road whilst talking on her phone looking in the opposite direction to the traffic flow. A "friendly" warning of Oi Oi from myself was greeted with the reply of "What, are you stoopid or somefink". Er, no, I'm not the one endangering not only myself and my child, but other road users aswell.
Oh, one last thing, please don't wear those skin tight black legging things when you've got the legs and rear end of a hippo.

king_jeffers

PO Paul wrote:

Oh, one last thing, please don't wear those skin tight black legging things when you've got the legs and rear end of a hippo.

My rant: is the mental image you just gave me

MonkeyMonster

so you make a lovely pasta dish and put enough (no really) for 2 dinners in a box. Next day you're snarfing away going yum yum and you eat over half, but it's so yummy so you eat a little more and then you've got 1/4 left. No point in leaving that so you eat more. Then you arrive at the point of feeling mahoosively fat and no lunch tomorrow...

Kieran_Burns

MonkeyMonster wrote:

so you make a lovely pasta dish and put enough (no really) for 2 dinners in a box. Next day you're snarfing away going yum yum and you eat over half, but it's so yummy so you eat a little more and then you've got 1/4 left. No point in leaving that so you eat more. Then you arrive at the point of feeling mahoosively fat and no lunch tomorrow...

two smaller boxes you daft simian

stuj15

<sigh>

3 rear punctures in days. 1 slow, 1 nail, 1 glass.

Brilliant.

bails87

Self rant: In the interests of fairness I should hold my hands up and admit to a silly overtake in the car today.

I thought I had loads of time, 2 cars in front, fairly close to each other) doing 15-20mph less than I was, the road opened up just as I caught up with them. I could see all was clear. As I caught them up I went past the first one easily (20mph difference=>8m/s), then started to pass the second one, van appears a couple of hundred metres ahead, no worries, plenty of time. Except I'm still next to the front car. Foot down, I just about managed to creep past it, the van driver hit the brakes and understandably made a w&nker sign at me.

I don't know if the van was way over the speed limit and that's why the gap closed so quickly, if the car I was overtaking sped up without checking his/her mirrors or what. But I got it wrong too. I was wary of the car behind me being an unmarked police car (I'm now guessing it wasn't) so I wasn't speeding during the overtake or taking what I originally thought was a particularly big risk.

My bad, naughty bails I've told myself off for it, and will be pootling home on the motorway tonight.

Rich158

I've saved up a weeks worth for one mega rant so here goes

Fecking nodders on BSO's :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: Went past sonme twat today, no helmet, full high viz trousers and jacket on some god awful BSO only to hit the roadworks at the end of Bexleyheath Broadway. Nodder decides to use the pavement to get past it all and then nearly takes me out twice as he swings back into the road without looking. FFS man stay on the road, that's where were meant to be and looking to see if the roads clear may keep you and those arround you alive a little longer.

To the twat who tried to nip up the inside of a bus this morning, use your fecking common sense. The roadworks on the run up to the Rotherhithe tunnel by Southwark park are a nightmare and I appreciate your frustration but honestly I could see the road narrows to barely one car wide and the bus was obviously going to have to move over. Sitting on his rear quarter banging bars with him and tryin to sneak down the inside is only going to lead to one result, you getting squished. Yes I did shout a warning for you to move back, I really didn't want to have to pull someone out from under a bus today.

That's it, calm has been restored

SimonAH

We've just been given some lovely, expensive CRM software to make our jobs simpler. It interfaces with SAP to pull across all the financials and interfaces with Outlook to enable us to schedule appointments and phonecalls and track the progress of projects, leads and potentials.

Does it buggeryfuck. What it does is track our every move and action simultaneously giving us 75% more admin and duplicate effort so that senior management at corporate can get sales data and assign tasks with one mouse click rather than having to actually talk to people.

A tool is something that is useful for the craftsman you tools. Do not sell it to me as something that is for my benefit.

If I wanted smoke blown up my ar$e I'd be in my workshop with a cigar and a length of plastic tubing.

velocestrapture

To the guy with the super-bright rear light at about 6.45 pm yesterday. Yes, it's great to have bright lights to be seen by cars, but yours was so bright it could probably be seen by every car in a 10 mile radius. Even the planes on the Heathrow approach could probably see it.

However, when you pulled up in front of me at the lights, and I got it full in my face, I could see bugger all else for about 15 seconds afterwards, which wasn't fun once the lights changed. :x

jonny_trousers

SimonAH wrote:

We've just been given some lovely, expensive CRM software to make our jobs simpler. It interfaces with SAP to pull across all the financials and interfaces with Outlook to enable us to schedule appointments and phonecalls and track the progress of projects, leads and potentials.

Does it buggeryfuck. What it does is track our every move and action simultaneously giving us 75% more admin and duplicate effort so that senior management at corporate can get sales data and assign tasks with one mouse click rather than having to actually talk to people.

A tool is something that is useful for the craftsman you tools. Do not sell it to me as something that is for my benefit.

If I wanted smoke blown up my ar$e I'd be in my workshop with a cigar and a length of plastic tubing.

You do realise they are now reading this don't you?

mudcow007

SimonAH wrote:

We've just been given some lovely, expensive CRM software to make our jobs simpler. It interfaces with SAP to pull across all the financials and interfaces with Outlook to enable us to schedule appointments and phonecalls and track the progress of projects, leads and potentials.

Does it buggeryfuck. What it does is track our every move and action simultaneously giving us 75% more admin and duplicate effort so that senior management at corporate can get sales data and assign tasks with one mouse click rather than having to actually talk to people.

A tool is something that is useful for the craftsman you tools. Do not sell it to me as something that is for my benefit.

If I wanted smoke blown up my ar$e I'd be in my workshop with a cigar and a length of plastic tubing.

ooow im currently looking at SAP to replace out very old version of Microshaft Dynamics

gbsahne001

Out on the MTB again today (last day of holiday ); through the woods, first puncture, annoying but change the tube and on we go.

Approaching a hill (5 miles on), stand on pedals ready to do battle and bang front tyre explodes leaving a 1/2" tear on the tyre and I assume the tube in shreds. Start to walk back, get fed up of this and take the tube out to see if it's salvageable; 1" tear, decide no but have a small brainwave. Repair the first tube's puncture, reinflate and it seems ok, so decide to take it back on the road gently.

Get approx 2miles and back wheel starts to feel spongy look down and another puncture; start walking again until I get fed up, repair puncture (down to almost last patch) and off we go with no further incidents.

3 punctures in 23miles though does seem to be excessive.