The Lanterne Rouge Thread 2021 **SPOILERS**

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  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,692
    Norwegians aren't proper vikings anyway.
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  • ddraver
    ddraver Posts: 26,717
    Waaahh!

    He was riding a la anti-Zubeldia so well :(
    We're in danger of confusing passion with incompetence
    - @ddraver
  • Lanterne_Rogue
    Lanterne_Rogue Posts: 4,340
    edited July 2021
    There were worrying suggestions at the start of today's stage that a significant portion of the first descent was going to be neutralised due to the conditions. This turned out to be nothing but a scurrilous lie.

    Everything else on the stage was neutered as well.

    One early rumour did turn out to be true, however - LR leader Amund Grøndahl Jansen failed to sign on this morning. According to the team they wanted him to "take his time" - something those of us on this thread were convinced he was already doing perfectly adequately - and to heal up. It seems churlish to wish a rider to carry on suffering purely for our entertainment - B&B Riders fruitlessly trying to infiltrate breaks apart - and hopefully he'll be back to fitness soon. At least he's not trying to fool anyone about "preparing for the Olympics". How much preparation does sitting on the sofa for three weeks and suddenly becoming an expert in modern pentathlon really take?

    With AGJ departing the lead moved to Tim Declercq, and DQS promptly set happily about crushing all opposition. Declercq patrolled the rear in a fashion that implied he'd been watching Pogacar and taking notes, the only difference being that Declercq has turned up in France with an actual team around him. It genuinely warms the cockles of the heart to see the green jersey working hard to let the wheel in front go and ensure Declercq gets every second he can.

    Biggest loser of the day was Mad Pedersen, who lost nearly six minutes due to following the wrong wheel, Bol moves up to second as a result. Cavendish and Mørkøv round out the top five - an excellent performance given how often they've ended up at entirely the wrong end of the field.

    Join us tomorrow to see if the first of the two remaining mountain stages causes any damage to the standings - I'm particularly looking forward to seeing them race the Col de Porte, which is apparently French for "Willunga Hill".

    Everyone who matters came in around 23 minutes down, leaving the underall looking like this:



    136 JULIEN SIMON 207 TOTALENERGIES 69h 31' 57'' + 03h 08' 51'' - -
    137 RICK ZABEL 38 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 69h 32' 34'' + 03h 09' 28'' - -
    138 DRIES DEVENYNS 57 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 69h 34' 14'' + 03h 11' 08'' - -
    139 JÉRÉMY CABOT 203 TOTALENERGIES 69h 34' 41'' + 03h 11' 35'' - -
    140 RETO HOLLENSTEIN 35 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 69h 42' 47'' + 03h 19' 41'' - P : 40''
    141 MICHAEL MØRKØV 58 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 69h 46' 30'' + 03h 23' 24'' B : 6'' -
    142 MARK CAVENDISH 55 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 69h 47' 33'' + 03h 24' 27'' B : 40'' -
    143 MADS PEDERSEN 45 TREK - SEGAFREDO 69h 48' 17'' + 03h 25' 11'' - -
    144 CEES BOL 143 TEAM DSM 69h 51' 14'' + 03h 28' 08'' - -
    145 TIM DECLERCQ 56 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 70h 09' 45'' + 03h 46' 39'' - -
  • above_the_cows
    above_the_cows Posts: 11,406

    the Col de Porte, which is apparently French for "Willunga Hill".

    Snort.
    Correlation is not causation.
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,497
    Declercq's lead is unassailable shirley?
    Will he follow Cees Bol's wheels or will he compound his lead by going on a stealthy attack down a ravine?
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,593
    pinno said:

    Declercq's lead is unassailable shirley?
    Will he follow Cees Bol's wheels or will he compound his lead by going on a stealthy attack down a ravine?

    He's got the benefit of being able to sit on the front all day on Friday before launching a late attack and gaining more time whilst Bol will be stuck on team duties at the other end of the race.
  • Lanterne_Rogue
    Lanterne_Rogue Posts: 4,340
    edited July 2021
    Ah, Bastille Day. Traditionally the cue for Marc Madiot to imbibe a family-size bottle of pastis and pipe the Marseillaise through the radio until his riders make a frenzied attack, mostly in order to try and get out of reception range from the team car. And if FDJ aren't wasting their time out front on a stage that every man and his dog knew Pogacar was going for, you can bet your bottom dollar that Cofidis would again be vexing philosophers across the nation. If a Cofidis rider is in the break, how many members does it really have?

    Being a mountain stage it was widely anticipated that the Lanterne Rouge competition would take its ball away for the day and sulk in the autobus. That was to overlook the patriotic fervour of Jérémy Cabot, who surely gave the French a little succour on their national day with a heroic 106th place. Admittedly this was somewhat overshadowed by Gaudu's 4th place, but at least Jérémy didn't have to suffer Marc Madiot's encouragement as he pointlessly surrendered his position.

    The other rider to lose places today was Mad's Pedersen, possibly the only rider in the peloton to be officially owned by a satirical magazine. And now I look at them a little more closely...



    Pedersen's punishment for letting the gap go was only a measly 1'50", but DQS immediately drove a coach and horses through it, or at least another couple of sprinters. Cavendish and Mørkøv lost no time, or possibly the opposite, and DQS now have three riders in the top four - although time bonuses and a weird obsession with Cavendish's lucky green skinsuit may put pay to that before Paris. It'd also be wrong to talk about DQS without highlighting what happens when you nip off for a wee and ask Mark Cavendish to babysit the front of the peloton for a couple of minutes:





    Finally, a word for the only rider to have infiltrated the DQS triumvirate - Cheese Bol rode another superb race today, never once threatening to put his face in the wind, and picked up the stage win.

    Marchons! Marchons!

    133 DRIES DEVENYNS 57 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 05h 37' 41'' + 00h 34' 10'' - -
    134 TIM DECLERCQ 56 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 05h 37' 41'' + 00h 34' 10'' - -
    135 DAVIDE BALLERINI 53 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 05h 37' 41'' + 00h 34' 10'' - -
    136 MICHAEL MØRKØV 58 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 05h 37' 41'' + 00h 34' 10'' - -
    137 GREG VAN AVERMAET 128 AG2R CITROEN TEAM 05h 37' 41'' + 00h 34' 10'' - -
    138 MICHAL KWIATKOWSKI 25 INEOS GRENADIERS 05h 37' 41'' + 00h 34' 10'' - -
    139 BOY VAN POPPEL 215 INTERMARCHE - WANTY - GOBERT MATERIAUX 05h 37' 41'' + 00h 34' 10'' - -
    140 MARK CAVENDISH 55 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 05h 37' 41'' + 00h 34' 10'' - -
    141 SIMON CLARKE 195 TEAM QHUBEKA NEXTHASH 05h 37' 41'' + 00h 34' 10'' - -
    142 MAXIMILIAN RICHARD WALSCHEID 198 TEAM QHUBEKA NEXTHASH 05h 37' 41'' + 00h 34' 10'' - -
    143 LUKA MEZGEC 177 TEAM BIKEEXCHANGE 05h 37' 41'' + 00h 34' 10'' - -
    144 CEES BOL 143 TEAM DSM 05h 37' 41'' + 00h 34' 10'' - -

    Ralentissez! Ralentissez!

    135 JÉRÉMY CABOT 203 TOTALENERGIES 75h 07' 11'' + 03h 40' 44'' - -
    136 RICK ZABEL 38 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 75h 07' 52'' + 03h 41' 25'' - -
    137 MAXIMILIAN RICHARD WALSCHEID 198 TEAM QHUBEKA NEXTHASH 75h 08' 34'' + 03h 42' 07'' - -
    138 DRIES DEVENYNS 57 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 75h 11' 55'' + 03h 45' 28'' - -
    139 RETO HOLLENSTEIN 35 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 75h 18' 40'' + 03h 52' 13'' - P : 40''
    140 MADS PEDERSEN 45 TREK - SEGAFREDO 75h 24' 10'' + 03h 57' 43'' - -
    141 MICHAEL MØRKØV 58 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 75h 24' 11'' + 03h 57' 44'' B : 6'' -
    142 MARK CAVENDISH 55 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 75h 25' 14'' + 03h 58' 47'' B : 40'' -
    143 CEES BOL 143 TEAM DSM 75h 28' 55'' + 04h 02' 28'' - -
    144 TIM DECLERCQ 56 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 75h 47' 26'' + 04h 20' 59'' - -
  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,692
    According to Mads P, Trek's plan for the day, and I'm genuinely not making this up, was to put Wee Kenny in his pocket and ride him up to the break, drop him off and then drift back*. Presumably the failure to deliver Kenny resulted in some sort of punishment duty that accounts for the time loss.

    *he really did say he was going to put him in his pocket. Kenny said he liked the plan.
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  • bm5
    bm5 Posts: 599
    Well done to Cees Bol. Holding off the DQS train to get over the line there.
  • Lanterne_Rogue
    Lanterne_Rogue Posts: 4,340
    edited July 2021
    I can't be bothered narrating another boring mountain stage*, so I've asked Sir David Attenborough to do it instead.

    Here, in the French Pyrenees, we see the male Ineos hauling themselves onto the steepest slopes in order to display to their rivals. Assembling themselves in their order of fitness, the alpha male waits at the rear to display his superiority.

    Unfortunately for this family of Ineos, they have been infiltrated by a yellow jerseyed male of another pack. Though they will still try to display, this usurper will collect all the rewards whilst the leaderless Ineos will - for this year at least - go without success.

    Lower down the hills, a lesser spotted Cofidis comes into view and, almost immediately, disappears again. Little is known of this elusive and endangered creature, although research suggests that the increased proximity of podiums may disrupt their normal habits. Alongside it is an Arkea Samsic. Formerly plentiful, their numbers are now much reduced.

    And finally, down in the lowest pastures, a small group of hunters is slowly following the mountain goats towards their traditional pastures. Forming a protective ring around their leader, they move slowly and cautiously as they ascend the mountain slopes. Masters of saving energy, these wolves have no natural predators save the clock, which threatens to end their hunting prematurely.

    And where there are hunters, there are also prey. It is not only whales that our cameras will capture feeding on a bait Bol...



    Trials of Life:

    125 PHILIPPE GILBERT 154 LOTTO SOUDAL 04h 01' 42'' + 00h 27' 57'' - -
    126 ANDRÉ GREIPEL 34 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 04h 01' 42'' + 00h 27' 57'' - -
    127 RICK ZABEL 38 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 04h 01' 42'' + 00h 27' 57'' - -
    128 RETO HOLLENSTEIN 35 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 04h 01' 42'' + 00h 27' 57'' - -
    129 CHRIS FROOME 31 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 04h 01' 42'' + 00h 27' 57'' - -
    130 BENOIT COSNEFROY 121 AG2R CITROEN TEAM 04h 01' 42'' + 00h 27' 57'' - -
    131 LUKA MEZGEC 177 TEAM BIKEEXCHANGE 04h 01' 42'' + 00h 27' 57'' - -
    132 PIERRE LUC PERICHON 97 COFIDIS 04h 01' 42'' + 00h 27' 57'' - -
    133 MADS PEDERSEN 45 TREK - SEGAFREDO 04h 01' 42'' + 00h 27' 57'' - -
    134 EDWARD THEUNS 48 TREK - SEGAFREDO 04h 01' 42'' + 00h 27' 57'' - -
    135 MAXIMILIAN RICHARD WALSCHEID 198 TEAM QHUBEKA NEXTHASH 04h 01' 42'' + 00h 27' 57'' - -
    136 LUKAS PÖSTLBERGER 77 BORA - HANSGROHE 04h 01' 42'' + 00h 27' 57'' - -
    137 JELLE WALLAYS 98 COFIDIS 04h 01' 42'' + 00h 27' 57'' - -
    138 SEAN BENNETT 193 TEAM QHUBEKA NEXTHASH 04h 01' 55'' + 00h 28' 10'' - -
    139 CEES BOL 143 TEAM DSM 04h 03' 20'' + 00h 29' 35'' - -
    140 MICHAEL MØRKØV 58 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 04h 05' 51'' + 00h 32' 06'' - -
    141 TIM DECLERCQ 56 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 04h 05' 51'' + 00h 32' 06'' - -
    142 DRIES DEVENYNS 57 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 04h 05' 51'' + 00h 32' 06'' - -
    143 DAVIDE BALLERINI 53 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 04h 05' 51'' + 00h 32' 06'' - -
    144 MARK CAVENDISH 55 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 04h 05' 51'' + 00h 32' 06'' - -


    Trials of patience:

    135 CHRIS FROOME 31 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 79h 07' 32'' + 04h 07' 30'' - -
    136 RICK ZABEL 38 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 79h 09' 34'' + 04h 09' 32'' - -
    137 MAXIMILIAN RICHARD WALSCHEID 198 TEAM QHUBEKA NEXTHASH 79h 10' 16'' + 04h 10' 14'' - -
    138 DRIES DEVENYNS 57 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 79h 17' 46'' + 04h 17' 44'' - -
    139 RETO HOLLENSTEIN 35 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 79h 20' 22'' + 04h 20' 20'' - P : 40''
    140 MADS PEDERSEN 45 TREK - SEGAFREDO 79h 25' 52'' + 04h 25' 50'' - -
    141 MICHAEL MØRKØV 58 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 79h 30' 02'' + 04h 30' 00'' B : 6'' -
    142 MARK CAVENDISH 55 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 79h 31' 05'' + 04h 31' 03'' B : 40'' -
    143 CEES BOL 143 TEAM DSM 79h 32' 15'' + 04h 32' 13'' - -
    144 TIM DECLERCQ 56 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 79h 53' 17'' + 04h 53' 15'' - -

    *Slight confession - I've been sort of wondering how Lanternes of the dark ages (aka the Lance years) experienced the tour, so earlier this week went and got myself injected with some performance diminishing drugs, and all I can say is that the Moderna vaccine is some strong stuff indeed. The state I'm in right now I reckon I'd be tailed off on the first speed bump, let alone the mountains.
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,497
    edited July 2021


    *Slight confession - I've been sort of wondering how Lanternes of the dark ages (aka the Lance years) experienced the tour, so earlier this week went and got myself injected with some performance diminishing drugs, and all I can say is that the Moderna vaccine is some strong stuff indeed. The state I'm in right now I reckon I'd be tailed off on the first speed bump, let alone the mountains.

    There is really no need for the sophistication or the expense of PDD or a Dr to asses the effects - a regular intake of pie, chips and Irn Bru would do.
    Pork pies have an enormous percentage of lard per kg...

    ...cont. on P94 of Pinno's guide to bringing up the rear.

    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,692
    pinno said:


    *Slight confession - I've been sort of wondering how Lanternes of the dark ages (aka the Lance years) experienced the tour, so earlier this week went and got myself injected with some performance diminishing drugs, and all I can say is that the Moderna vaccine is some strong stuff indeed. The state I'm in right now I reckon I'd be tailed off on the first speed bump, let alone the mountains.

    There is really no need for the sophistication or the expense of PDD or a Dr to asses the effects - a regular intake of pie, chips and Irn Bru would do.
    Pork pies have an enormous percentage of lard per kg...

    ...cont. on P94 of Pinno's guide to bringing up the rear.

    I've written a companion guide to that, on which beers to match to which pies.
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  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,497
    Declercq probably takes it to a higher level - Laffe, frites, Mayo and pie.
    That's why he's so good.

    But... he did get a bill for laying flat a few trees the other day.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,692
    With these diet revelations I think we need to ask whether "carrying a bit of lumber" (as many of the top Lanterne contenders have been said to do) should actually be interpreted as "has difficulty dropping a log".
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  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,497
    Before the potato famine in Ireland, it was said that the spuds fulfilled many nutritional requirements. However, modern intensive farming coupled with soil depreciation, would warrant a tripling or even, quadrupling of the intake of potato based foodstuffs in order to get the same quantity of fibre conducive to maintaining regularity.
    That's a lot of chips and mayo.

    As Noel Coward said famously in that film where they were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off: "Those frites are upsetting my natural rhythm".

    One can presume that the post TdF diet is an intensive course of figs, prunes and all bran. The 'cork popping' must reach a deafening crescendo at some point*...

    cont. p163 of 'Pinno's guide to bringing up the rear'.

    *Is that timed to coincide with last night of the proms I wonder.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,692
    I think I'm now pleased there's no Lanterne Rouge podium presentation. Nobody needs Declercq popping the cork and spraying it everywhere.
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  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 52,497

    I think I'm now pleased there's no Lanterne Rouge podium presentation. Nobody needs Declercq popping the cork and spraying it everywhere.

    A very good point, well presented.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Lanterne_Rogue
    Lanterne_Rogue Posts: 4,340
    edited July 2021
    The discussion above, whose supposed problem ultimately could be resolved with the use of an extra large (and more importantly extra absorbent) chamois, would be rendered rather moot if Tim Declercq were to toss away the Lanterne.

    Fortunately DQS played an absolute blinder. By togging Mark Cavendish up in a full skinsuit and getting him to compare notes on their precise number of yellow jerseys with Eddy Merckx (who as far as I can tell never took a stage in the Lanterne, let alone challenge on HD - greatest cyclist my arse), DQS ensured all eyes were on them to control the front of the peloton and ensure it was a sprint finish.

    Naturally this would leave Decelercq open to a counter attack from those behind who, like The Sun with black footballers, only ever stand square behind someone because they're too cowardly to knife them in the front. DQS's genius plan was to wait until everyone was lulled into a false sense of security, send Julian Alaphilippe after the small break like a love egg bouncing across the carpet in front of your horrified in-laws, and then let Declercq slope off the back in the ensuing chaos whilst everyone tried to digest what the heck had just gone on.

    It nearly worked, except with one small flaw: it didn't work at all.

    Virtually the whole peloton, worn out by two weeks of their DS's constantly calling for attacks, and further worn down by yet another couple of crashes (Thomas was caught by one - there's hope for a break through victory yet), decided to call it quits for the day. All but twenty riders came in twenty minutes down, but Declercq's victory is virtually assured nonetheless.

    And they didn't even need to hit up a local farmer to create a roadblock with some meditating delay llamas.



    Join us tomorrow as I can finally ask "Where's Wallays?"


    Underall:

    133 JELLE WALLAYS 98 COFIDIS 83h 46' 22'' + 04h 06' 13'' - -
    134 CHRIS FROOME 31 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 83h 47' 39'' + 04h 07' 30'' - -
    135 RICK ZABEL 38 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 83h 49' 41'' + 04h 09' 32'' - -
    136 DRIES DEVENYNS 57 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 83h 57' 53'' + 04h 17' 44'' - -
    137 RETO HOLLENSTEIN 35 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 84h 00' 29'' + 04h 20' 20'' - P : 40''
    138 MADS PEDERSEN 45 TREK - SEGAFREDO 84h 05' 59'' + 04h 25' 50'' - -
    139 MICHAEL MØRKØV 58 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 84h 10' 09'' + 04h 30' 00'' B : 6'' -
    140 MARK CAVENDISH 55 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 84h 11' 12'' + 04h 31' 03'' B : 40'' -
    141 CEES BOL 143 TEAM DSM 84h 12' 22'' + 04h 32' 13'' - -
    142 TIM DECLERCQ 56 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 84h 33' 24'' + 04h 53' 15'' - -
  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,692
    Does anyone know what Cav's Lanterne stage count is? He's got a few this tour...
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  • No_Ta_Doctor
    No_Ta_Doctor Posts: 14,692
    Oh and this line is possibly the greatest I've ever read in any stage write up ever


    DQS's genius plan was to wait until everyone was lulled into a false sense of security, send Julian Alaphilippe after the small break like a love egg bouncing across the carpet in front of your horrified in-laws
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  • orraloon
    orraloon Posts: 13,269
    Wot I have learned today: the meaning of 'love egg' 😳
  • bm5
    bm5 Posts: 599
    Very poor results for France, surely more investigation needed into the use of pies by the gendarmerie.
  • Lanterne_Rogue
    Lanterne_Rogue Posts: 4,340
    edited July 2021
    One of the things that makes the Lanterne so superior to other, lesser, competitions is the way that it continues right until Paris. You could have stuck a fork in the GC weeks ago, the mountains competition came to a screeching halt on Thursday, and as for the green jersey - let's just say Matthews taking back a whole two points was unlikely to be headline news even within his own team bus.

    So it's somewhat frustrating that today's time trial failed to alter the top ten.

    Most riders took a conservative approach, figuring that the key thing now is surviving to Paris rather than risk being kicked off the Tour by an enraged Directeur Sportif who suspects either illness or an outbreak of Tokyo syndrome. Declercq maintains a twenty minute lead over Bol that he'd have to be really unlucky to surrender, Cavendish and Mørkøv might be more vulnerable to Mads Petersen.

    Performance of day came from Esteban Chaves, Ellie Gesbert put up a strong ride despite apparently having taken a wrong turn during La Course and ending up crossing the line by mistake, and their mate Mohoric showed far more versatility then the so-called Greatest Rider of the 21st Century™ by following up a breakaway win yesterday with a Lanternesque ITT today.

    Join us tomorrow to see how many riders took places on HD due to Cavendish's unfortunate crash on the Champs Elysees, and whether the gendarmes have any leads on the mysterious elderly Belgian seen running away giggling from the scene of the crime.

    Rock around the clock:

    133 SIMON GESCHKE 93 COFIDIS 00h 41' 43'' + 00h 05' 50'' - -
    134 MARCO HALLER 164 BAHRAIN VICTORIOUS 00h 41' 46'' + 00h 05' 53'' - -
    135 PIERRE ROLLAND 228 B&B HOTELS P/B KTM 00h 41' 47'' + 00h 05' 54'' - -
    136 CARLOS VERONA 68 MOVISTAR TEAM 00h 41' 49'' + 00h 05' 56'' - -
    137 BENOIT COSNEFROY 121 AG2R CITROEN TEAM 00h 41' 50'' + 00h 05' 57'' - -
    138 SILVAN DILLIER 102 ALPECIN - FENIX 00h 41' 57'' + 00h 06' 04'' - -
    139 SEAN BENNETT 193 TEAM QHUBEKA NEXTHASH 00h 42' 02'' + 00h 06' 09'' - -
    140 MATEJ MOHORIC 165 BAHRAIN VICTORIOUS 00h 42' 04'' + 00h 06' 11'' - -
    141 ELIE GESBERT 134 TEAM ARKEA - SAMSIC 00h 42' 07'' + 00h 06' 14'' - -
    142 JHOAN ESTEBAN CHAVES 172 TEAM BIKEEXCHANGE 00h 42' 31'' + 00h 06' 38'' - -

    Easy listening, all day, every day:

    133 JELLE WALLAYS 98 COFIDIS 84h 26' 45'' + 04h 09' 46'' - -
    134 CHRIS FROOME 31 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 84h 29' 00'' + 04h 12' 01'' - -
    135 RICK ZABEL 38 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 84h 30' 06'' + 04h 13' 07'' - -
    136 DRIES DEVENYNS 57 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 84h 35' 52'' + 04h 18' 53'' - -
    137 RETO HOLLENSTEIN 35 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 84h 41' 18'' + 04h 24' 19'' - P : 40''
    138 MADS PEDERSEN 45 TREK - SEGAFREDO 84h 46' 16'' + 04h 29' 17'' - -
    139 MICHAEL MØRKØV 58 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 84h 49' 44'' + 04h 32' 45'' B : 6'' -
    140 MARK CAVENDISH 55 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 84h 51' 17'' + 04h 34' 18'' B : 40'' -
    141 CEES BOL 143 TEAM DSM 84h 53' 38'' + 04h 36' 39'' - -
    142 TIM DECLERCQ 56 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 85h 13' 44'' + 04h 56' 45'' - -
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,593
    I'm surprised no-one really went for it, surely the DSs were able to calculate the likely cut off to a reasonable degree of accuracy and have their riders track stand in the finish straight. There was a good two minutes more to be gained with a bit of effort.
  • bm5
    bm5 Posts: 599
    My favourite came good today!
    Fond as I am of this competition thread I did not want Esteban to feature in it. 😢
  • Lanterne_Rogue
    Lanterne_Rogue Posts: 4,340
    edited July 2021
    And so to the final stage of the competition that everyone wants to win, so congratulations to Zhishan Zhang for winning the Tour of Qinghai Lake. I note that in 2019 it took them 13 stages to cover a round of the lake, and this year a mere 8 stages. Presumably global warming means Qinghai Lake isn't what it used to be.

    Meanwhile the Lanterne Rouge featured Anthony Turgid giving home crowds something to smile about with a superb breakaway win, and there was ​one last piece of showboating from Tim Declercq, who signed off by freewheeling through the five hour mark to round off a masterful display of controlled riding.

    Congratulations to both Tim Declercq for being a worthy winner - hopefully he appreciates having it on his palmares, as it's genuinely an achievement - and more importantly to you lot for surviving my nonsense for yet another year. Thanks for the company, and I leave you with the all important rankings:

    It's like 10,000 spoons:

    132 MARK DONOVAN 144 TEAM DSM 02h 42' 25'' + 00h 02' 48'' - -
    133 IDE SCHELLING 78 BORA - HANSGROHE 02h 42' 38'' + 00h 03' 01'' - -
    134 PETR VAKOČ 108 ALPECIN - FENIX 02h 43' 06'' + 00h 03' 29'' - -
    135 JULIAN ALAPHILIPPE 51 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 02h 43' 06'' + 00h 03' 29'' - -
    136 MICHAEL VALGREN HUNDAHL 115 EF EDUCATION - NIPPO 02h 43' 26'' + 00h 03' 49'' - -
    137 SERGIO ANDRES HIGUITA 114 EF EDUCATION - NIPPO 02h 43' 26'' + 00h 03' 49'' - -
    138 TIM DECLERCQ 56 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 02h 44' 01'' + 00h 04' 24'' - -
    139 HUGO HOULE 186 ASTANA - PREMIER TECH 02h 44' 01'' + 00h 04' 24'' - -
    140 KENNY ELISSONDE 43 TREK - SEGAFREDO 02h 45' 35'' + 00h 05' 58'' - -
    141 ANTHONY TURGIS 208 TOTALENERGIES 02h 52' 10'' + 00h 12' 33'' - -


    When all you need is a bike:

    132 JÉRÉMY CABOT 203 TOTALENERGIES 87h 08' 11'' + 04h 11' 35'' - -
    133 CHRIS FROOME 31 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 87h 08' 37'' + 04h 12' 01'' - -
    134 RICK ZABEL 38 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 87h 09' 43'' + 04h 13' 07'' - -
    135 DRIES DEVENYNS 57 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 87h 17' 25'' + 04h 20' 49'' - -
    136 RETO HOLLENSTEIN 35 ISRAEL START-UP NATION 87h 20' 55'' + 04h 24' 19'' - P : 40''
    137 MADS PEDERSEN 45 TREK - SEGAFREDO 87h 25' 53'' + 04h 29' 17'' - -
    138 MICHAEL MØRKØV 58 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 87h 29' 21'' + 04h 32' 45'' B : 6'' -
    139 MARK CAVENDISH 55 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 87h 30' 50'' + 04h 34' 14'' B : 44'' -
    140 CEES BOL 143 TEAM DSM 87h 33' 15'' + 04h 36' 39'' - -
    141 TIM DECLERCQ 56 DECEUNINCK - QUICK - STEP 87h 57' 45'' + 05h 01' 09'' -
  • ddraver
    ddraver Posts: 26,717

    We're in danger of confusing passion with incompetence
    - @ddraver
  • orraloon
    orraloon Posts: 13,269
    Thoroughly entertaining as always LR. Thank you.
  • kingstongraham
    kingstongraham Posts: 28,227
    Three out of the top four for dqs. Impressive consistency. With Bol having some deficiencies as an actual sprinter, maybe this is his route into the top team.

    Thanks as always LR, I consider this my daily dose of culture.
  • diplodicus
    diplodicus Posts: 722
    Thanks Lanterne_Rogue, very enjoyable read, as usual