So what's with the macho culture?

Matthewfalle

do you want mf to ask Tom to go and have a word with him?

#wordsofwisdom

mfin

Arrange to meet up with him for another ride, and organise where you'll meet him. Then arrive in your car, wind down the window and nonchalantly say "I'm ever so sorry, but I've changed my mind, I decided I don't really want to go for a ride with a complete ****", then just drive off.

Matthewfalle

mfin wrote:

Arrange to meet up with him for another ride, and organise where you'll meet him. Then arrive in your car and run him over

FTFY
#winnerwinnerchickendinnet

thistle_

mfin wrote:

Arrange to meet up with him for another ride, and organise where you'll meet him. Then arrive in your car, wind down the window and nonchalantly say "I'm ever so sorry, but I've changed my mind, I decided I don't really want to go for a ride with a complete ****", then just drive off.

I was thinking find another female friend to go riding with, then when he sprints off at KOM speed turn off and go a different route

Matthewfalle

rubbish idea.

run him over inyour car.

#revenge

DeVlaeminck

Over the years I've occasionally tried to organise some steady group rides. I even once ran a beginners/steady group on our chain gang to introduce people to the concept of riding smoothly in a group. Inevitably in these groups there will be people who, perhaps unwittingly, smash the group to bits riding too hard, sprinting through etc and even riding up the front and telling them only delays the inevitable splitting of the group.

It's possible this guy is just doing similar. He's probably used to hanging on the back and genuinely doesn't realise that he's putting the OP in trouble by going too hard because he's never been the "fast" one in a group. He's probably not that experienced so is making the typical novices error of coming through too fast, upping the effort massively on every hill etc - if he read this thread he'd probably be horrified.

Matthewfalle

DeVlaeminck wrote:

Over the years I've occasionally tried to organise some steady group rides. I even once ran a beginners/steady group on our chain gang to introduce people to the concept of riding smoothly in a group. Inevitably in these groups there will be people who, perhaps unwittingly, smash the group to bits riding too hard, sprinting through etc and even riding up the front and telling them only delays the inevitable splitting of the group.

It's possible this guy is just doing similar. He's probably used to hanging on the back and genuinely doesn't realise that he's putting the OP in trouble by going too hard because he's never been the "fast" one in a group. He's probably not that experienced so is making the typical novices error of coming through too fast, upping the effort massively on every hill etc - if he read this thread he'd probably be horrified.

nah - just a dick.

read the redt of the OPs post re his comments about his club, how he spoke, etc

#runhimover

keef66

His behaviour speaks volumes about his insecurities. He can't feel very good about himself if he feels the need to belittle a beginner like that. Have you had a chat with your friend about the way her husband behaved and how it made you feel?

Please don't let one d1ckhead put you off cycling.

My local club seems to have a lot of female riders; got to chatting with one of them on a sportive and they sound a welcoming bunch. Still not joined myself; prefer riding solo or with my son. Then I get to choose where / when / how far / how fast or slow I ride. And I only offer advice if it's sought. Even though he's climbing in the big chainring / big sprocket and I can hear his chain complaining again...

Freelikethewind

I mean I ride about 17mph AVE myself, even bagged a few QOMs! So I'm not shit I don't think. He looked like he wasn't even trying!
Anyhow I've decided to switch off the Strava and just ride solo for a bit. Enjoy the views and try to up my mileage.
For what it's worth I know he does not speak for all guys. I have ridden in a mixed group a couple of times and when I was getting left behind on descents a nice guy hung back and gave me some good tips.
Don't be a dick, be the nice guy

poweredbyidris

By any chance, is your friend's husband this guy? The man telling the Alpe d'Huez QOM that she shouldn't expect guys to wait for her at the top of a climb unless she accepts a push?

https://twitter.com/BaseTrainCosta/status/1026532724130172928

:roll:

keef66

Freelikethewind wrote:

I mean I ride about 17mph AVE myself, even bagged a few QOMs! So I'm not shoot I don't think. He looked like he wasn't even trying!
Anyhow I've decided to switch off the Strava and just ride solo for a bit. Enjoy the views and try to up my mileage.
For what it's worth I know he does not speak for all guys. I have ridden in a mixed group a couple of times and when I was getting left behind on descents a nice guy hung back and gave me some good tips.
Don't be a dick, be the nice guy

Well there you go. I'm a bloke and you're faster than me. I'm pleased if I get back and find my average is above 14mph.

My son who is Strava obsessed can nudge a 20 mph average because he is very fit and 31 years my junior, but we can still enjoy a ride together. We're both nice guys

Freelikethewind

Yay to the nice guys!

shortfall

17 mph average after only 6 months? You've obviously got a background in some other sport I'm guessing because that's very respectable for a novice, even on easy terrain.

ddraver

DeVlaeminck wrote:

Over the years I've occasionally tried to organise some steady group rides. I even once ran a beginners/steady group on our chain gang to introduce people to the concept of riding smoothly in a group. Inevitably in these groups there will be people who, perhaps unwittingly, smash the group to bits riding too hard, sprinting through etc and even riding up the front and telling them only delays the inevitable splitting of the group.

It's possible this guy is just doing similar. He's probably used to hanging on the back and genuinely doesn't realise that he's putting the OP in trouble by going too hard because he's never been the "fast" one in a group. He's probably not that experienced so is making the typical novices error of coming through too fast, upping the effort massively on every hill etc - if he read this thread he'd probably be horrified.

The hardest transition from "group of likeminded people" to "club" in my experience is exactly that moment where you have to start saying to people, you either ride at the back of the group at the pace of the group or bu88er off becasue you re ruining it for the rest of us.

Usually results in a lot of hurt feelings and bruised egos but is absolutely neccessary otherwise there will always be the d1ckhead who rides on the front shouting about how this is just a recovery ride and it's nice to go slowly sometimes (to people who don't find that group so slow) then drags the group at the same pace as the fast group anyway.

Freelikethewind

I wouldn't ride with a fast group. For example I'm not going to rock up to an all male fast club ride. I know I would be holding them back and absolutely I think guys should be able to do fast and furious rides together! I respect their fitness and speed honestly.
But there is a time and place. A social ride between friends, particularly where there is mixed gender shouldn't be a time to be a dick. I'd expect a decent guy to be able to enjoy a ride with a woman and go more at her pace and save his KOM speeds for himself or when riding with similarly fast guys.
It's not hard.
And whilst it can spur you on riding with someone faster, not if they're acting like an idiot.

ddraver

Correct

DeVlaeminck

PoweredByIdris wrote:

By any chance, is your friend's husband this guy? The man telling the Alpe d'Huez QOM that she shouldn't expect guys to wait for her at the top of a climb unless she accepts a push?

https://twitter.com/BaseTrainCosta/status/1026532724130172928

:roll:

Interesting that you think that is a guy - it's actually a woman from Sheffield making the point that on a group ride if you are struggling it's not unusual to get a helping push.

Edit - should add I am not advocating pushing women or others up climbs unless you know it's wanted! It's not that unusual for strong riders to give others a shove though - some on that twitter thread seem to think it's unheard of.

N0bodyOfTheGoat

You do know you are allowed to use Strava when riding solo? It's not against the law!;)

Freelikethewind

Yes of course!

Matthewfalle

stuff strava and all that rubbish - just ride tranquillo and ignore the dicks.

mtpockets

Nobody needs that nonsense. I would have slowed to snails pace for as long as required until he got lost, or taken the next side road. Can't win with a battle of sense with idiots.

slowbike

Join the fast group if you want to try - that's what I do - I usually get dropped on the climbs, but they tend to regroup at the top - if not - I know where I am and how to get home - I usually catch back up on the flat ...

If I think someone is struggling (more than me) and is fairly new to riding then I'm happy to give them suggestions as to how to manage their ride better but I'm conscious that I don't want to sound like a condescending know-it-all dick - perhaps I do ...

On the plus side - I know how to ride with someone slower than myself - although it can get frustrating if it starts dragging on a bit.

cld531c

If you only started cycling six months ago and are already averaging 17mph and getting QOMs then I would carry on as you are, give it another six months, then arrange a ride with him and give him a taste of his own medicine!

shirley_basso

It's less of a macho culture and just riding with a prick. Sadly they are in all walks of life and corners of society.

Not sure how your friend managed to marry one!

imposter2.0

cld531c wrote:

If you only started cycling six months ago and are already averaging 17mph and getting QOMs then I would carry on as you are, give it another six months, then arrange a ride with him and give him a taste of his own medicine!

Internet speeds are generally a few mph higher than real speeds...

ivor_pye

Imposter wrote:

cld531c wrote:

If you only started cycling six months ago and are already averaging 17mph and getting QOMs then I would carry on as you are, give it another six months, then arrange a ride with him and give him a taste of his own medicine!

Internet speeds are generally a few mph higher than real speeds...

Nice one Imposter.

First.Aspect

Imposter wrote:

cld531c wrote:

If you only started cycling six months ago and are already averaging 17mph and getting QOMs then I would carry on as you are, give it another six months, then arrange a ride with him and give him a taste of his own medicine!

Internet speeds are generally a few mph higher than real speeds...

Even Ave.Sp.*Internet means the OP is likely to be not in the least slow. Which means that the chap she went riding with was threatened. If the OP is even half way attractive, this will be even more problematic for him.

I'm willing to bet that he was riding close to his limit and doing his best to pretend he wasn't.

veronese68

First Aspect wrote:

I'm willing to bet that he was riding close to his limit and doing his best to pretend he wasn't.

Completely agree with you, and I suspect there are a few on here that would do something similar.
For someone young and with a good level of fitness those speeds don’t seem implausible, maybe I’m not as cynical as some.

ddraver

First Aspect wrote:

Imposter wrote:

cld531c wrote:

If you only started cycling six months ago and are already averaging 17mph and getting QOMs then I would carry on as you are, give it another six months, then arrange a ride with him and give him a taste of his own medicine!

Internet speeds are generally a few mph higher than real speeds...

Even Ave.Sp.*Internet means the OP is likely to be not in the least slow. Which means that the chap she went riding with was threatened. If the OP is even half way attractive, this will be even more problematic for him.

I'm willing to bet that he was riding close to his limit and doing his best to pretend he wasn't.

God, so true it hurts. Men are so lame sometimes aren't we

ivor_pye

To be honest if she had a nice rear end shown off by tight cycling shorts I would have stayed behind her!