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So what's with the macho culture?

FreelikethewindFreelikethewind Posts: 37
edited August 2018 in Road general
I'm female and started road cycling six months ago. I have been pleased with my progress given I was a novice. I'm fit but technique could be better.
However recently I went out for a ride with a friend's husband. He's a bike specialist and I thought he could give me some tips etc. I've not been back on the bike since. It was a horrible down putting experience. Nothing short of a race and a chance to show off. Yeah I get it pal, you're better than me on a bike. When he told me all about the wonderfully aggressive, obsessive and macho culture in the bike club I took a mental note not to join :roll:

Slow claps...
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Posts

  • imposter2.0imposter2.0 Posts: 11,003
    Other clubs are available...
  • veronese68veronese68 Posts: 22,806 Lives Here
    Your friend's husband is a censored , there's a lot of it about unfortunately. Probably best you don't tell your friend in those terms though.
    ride your bike, enjoy it. Ignore the dicks of this world.
  • fenixfenix Posts: 5,437
    Some people are idiots. Some women too as well.

    Edit - not implying you're one - just that it's not exclusive to men.
  • I hope he taught you to wave at oncoming cyclists
    I'm sorry you don't believe in miracles
  • diamonddogdiamonddog Posts: 3,368
    edited August 2018
    veronese68 wrote:
    Your friend's husband is a censored , there's a lot of it about unfortunately. Probably best you don't tell your friend in those terms though.
    ride your bike, enjoy it. Ignore the dicks of this world.
    ^^This
  • joe_totale-2joe_totale-2 Posts: 1,059
    veronese68 wrote:
    Your friend's husband is a censored , there's a lot of it about unfortunately. Probably best you don't tell your friend in those terms though.
    ride your bike, enjoy it. Ignore the dicks of this world.

    Agree with this. Also to add that there are clubs out there with a good proportion of female members and less of the macho stuff. Not to mention the Breeze Rides as well:

    https://www.letsride.co.uk/breeze
  • Yes there are idiot women too!
    I just felt like I was being put in my place, can't explain it. To be fair I've ridden with other guys who have not been like this.
  • davidofdavidof Posts: 2,357
    However recently I went out for a ride with a friend's husband.

    Not sure it particularly has anything with you being a woman. There were a couple of people I used to ride with a lot, when they were having off days or not fit I would be quite happy to ride along at their speed.

    But both are ultra competitive A type personalities and didn't hesitate to put me to the sword if I was having a bad day, leaving me in the middle of nowhere.
  • mamil314mamil314 Posts: 1,103
    veronese68 wrote:
    Ignore the dicks of this world.

    Don't you want to rethink that.
  • singletonsingleton Posts: 1,644
    People are people - some people are nice and friendly, some people are idiots.
    Happens in all aspects of life.
    Enjoy the bike, find some other people to ride with.
  • What gets me is that he wants to encourage more women into cycling. It was a chance to encourage and help, he didn't need to prove anything to me FFS.
    I was actually having an off day as it was so getting left for dead on the hills, mocked for incorrect gears and handling etc I wanted to cry (and I don't cry at the drop of a hat). What's that about? He wanted to take turns drafting but I couldn't get a chance. He was pulling away or if I tried to go in front he'd sprint off at KOM speeds.
  • craigus89craigus89 Posts: 885
    Sounds like a tool. Don't worry about it. He is probably like that with everyone who is new to cycling.

    Taking you at your word that you don't normally take things hard when they aren't intended to be, find someone who can help and give you pointers on things who doesn't do it in a disckish way. There are more of them around on bikes than those that are like this guy.
  • fenixfenix Posts: 5,437
    The good thing is that there are so many women out there cycling now. I've been riding 30 years plus and this seems like a peak. Hopefully you can find some women to cycle with - if that would help ?
  • BrakelessBrakeless Posts: 867
    Yes there are idiot women too!
    I just felt like I was being put in my place, can't explain it. To be fair I've ridden with other guys who have not been like this.

    So why didn't you highlight and post them and not this bloke ? One bloke doesn't make a culture.
  • imposter2.0imposter2.0 Posts: 11,003
    10 pages...
  • craigus89craigus89 Posts: 885
    edited August 2018
    Double.
  • craigus89craigus89 Posts: 885
    Brakeless wrote:
    Yes there are idiot women too!
    I just felt like I was being put in my place, can't explain it. To be fair I've ridden with other guys who have not been like this.

    So why didn't you highlight and post them and not this bloke ? One bloke doesn't make a culture.

    Maybe because none of them treated her like he did? But well done for defending our honour. When will we catch a break?
  • chris_basschris_bass Posts: 4,913
    This...
    craigus89 wrote:
    Sounds like a tool. Don't worry about it. He is probably like that with everyone who is new to cycling.

    Taking you at your word that you don't normally take things hard when they aren't intended to be, find someone who can help and give you pointers on things who doesn't do it in a disckish way. There are more of them around on bikes than those that are like this guy.

    and this...
    veronese68 wrote:
    Your friend's husband is a censored , there's a lot of it about unfortunately. Probably best you don't tell your friend in those terms though.
    ride your bike, enjoy it. Ignore the dicks of this world.
    www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes
  • CitizenLeeCitizenLee Posts: 2,227
    His problem, not yours. Don't let it put you off.

    Plus I think we all know what "macho" guys are making up for a lack of :P
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  • cooldadcooldad Posts: 32,904
    Men have more dicks than women.

    My MTB bunch regularly gets women in - we are nice sensible, non macho non dicky guys.

    Unfortunately, they found so many other groups weren't nice like us, that they started a ladies only group as well, so they could avoid their significant others' friends.
    I don't do smileys.

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  • In the last ~20 months of cycling for fitness, I've ridden with others four or five times. Trying to find a pace that everyone is happy with over rolling terrain, not to mention riding in close proximity to others, is still something I'm learning. I often get left for dead on descents, especially if the tarmac looks damp or has loose chippings on a winding road, on the odd occasion I've tried to lead the group for a bit I've accidentally gone way ahead. Last time I went out in a group we approached a cat4 climb, so I confirmed which way we were going and went off chasing my PB before waiting past the summit.

    Riding with others of different ages, fitness, weight on rolling terrain does seem to be about compromises, which might mean a ride is quite hard for some and a recovery ride for others.
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  • MatthewfalleMatthewfalle Posts: 17,571
    MF says that bloke is a tool. If he is talking about his clubbie friends like they are of the same ilk then they are probably tools too so avoid at all costs.

    get back out on the bike, chat to some different people and work out the lie of the land.

    MF has had the misfortune to encounter dicks like that bloke so he just either crushes them or ignores them.

    don't let him get to you.

    #don'tputupwithdicks
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • FishFishFishFish Posts: 2,238
    NFI on this one. Could not care less and mat up there will crush him. Or hit him with a pick elf.
    ...take your pickelf on your holibobs.... :D

    jeez :roll:
  • Wish I could crush him but no chance!
    I don't have a problem with blokes riding fast, being awesome on the bike etc. But there is a time and place surely. What the hell was he proving by crushing a woman who has only been riding for a short time?!
  • Try some actual racing - many of these idiots are too cowardly to pin on a number.
  • MatthewfalleMatthewfalle Posts: 17,571
    FishFish wrote:
    NFI on this one. Could not care less and mat up there will crush him. Or hit him with a pick elf.

    mf said he is more than happy to if he gets some pork scratchings out of it.

    #feedhimandhestaysquiet
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • What gets me is that he wants to encourage more women into cycling. It was a chance to encourage and help, he didn't need to prove anything to me FFS.
    I was actually having an off day as it was so getting left for dead on the hills, mocked for incorrect gears and handling etc I wanted to cry (and I don't cry at the drop of a hat). What's that about? He wanted to take turns drafting but I couldn't get a chance. He was pulling away or if I tried to go in front he'd sprint off at KOM speeds.


    He's encouraging women probably to satisfy his own perverted pleasures. Men can be unbelievably perverted like me :!: . At least if he was in front of you he can't possibly have ogled your pooper. By the way is this the guy?

    You know what I like best about cycling? It is a solitary activity, or at least it can be. I do so when ever I want, where ever I want and at my own pace. I can go like fudge or I can take it slow, depending on what I feel like at the time. Because I do it on my own I don't have to conform to anyone elses expectations or judgements. Because screw people, they are irritating.
    I'm not a racist! My f'in car is black!
  • Well I think I'll stick to solitary riding, sounds good. If he was ogling my butt he better keep it to himself. I also do martial arts! Better keep those padded shorts on pal...
  • jgsijgsi Posts: 5,026
    Try some actual racing - many of these idiots are too cowardly to pin on a number.

    This has more than an element of truth. I am sort of assuming that you quite like cycling with a bit of zest instead of billy no mates solitary finding Godot type of thing.
    I dont know where you are based but if you are Nw England, the TLI Cycling welcomes any rider who wants to compete outside of the rather constrictive BC channel. It welcomes any rider and when numbers get pinned on, you really dont experience any silly ''macho' behaviour.
    I think you have just had a rough start to your cycling life.
  • ddraverddraver Posts: 20,389
    There's a fairly common, possibly apocrophal, story round these parts of a football/rugby/something else coach taking his son to a bike race where there were a bunch of races happening.

    He came away sure that cyclists were all miserable sods who had always been picked last in PE and never gotten over it.

    There is a certain truth to it.

    Go ride with someone else...
    We're in danger of confusing passion with incompetence
    - @ddraver
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