Ugliest bike ever

ugo.santalucia
ugo.santalucia Posts: 28,313
edited October 2018 in Road general
Is this the one? Who's going to buy that shoot?

Cervelo-P5X-eTap-Triathlon-Bike-2017.jpg
left the forum March 2023
«134

Comments

  • darkhairedlord
    darkhairedlord Posts: 7,180
    wow, if you buy that you had better be finishing well clear of the field or look a complete twonka.
  • shirley_basso
    shirley_basso Posts: 6,195
    I saw one on box hill in winter.

    It's been out for ages.
  • cycleclinic
    cycleclinic Posts: 6,865
    tri/ironman folk dont care about the looks. no one looks good in a tri suit and since that does not bother them the bikes looks wont either.
    http://www.thecycleclinic.co.uk -wheel building and other stuff.
  • CitizenLee
    CitizenLee Posts: 2,227
    I'd say it looks more stupid than ugly.

    You want ugly, have at it....

    4547807757_8f5df9502b_b.jpg
    Current:
    NukeProof Mega FR 2012
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  • lakesluddite
    lakesluddite Posts: 1,337
    Even as a triathlete, I'd not swing my leg over that thing. There are some real monstrosities in the world of triathlon, and this qualifies as one of them! With the UCI rules for frame shape having no relevance to tri, then you're going to get this type of thing, but to paraphrase Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park...they realised they could, but never stopped to think if they should...
  • graeme_s-2
    graeme_s-2 Posts: 3,382
    That Cervelo photo was shared round in a facebook messenger group of some of my tri buddies a while back. One of them recently spotted a lady riding one at a race! She was apparently being overtaken by ladies on much cheaper (and better looking) bikes!
  • fenix
    fenix Posts: 5,437
    If the bike was fast then I don't really care about what it looks like. It's just for racing - not for cafe stops and admiring it.

    And yes - if you buy it - you'd better have the legs to go with it...
  • slowbike
    slowbike Posts: 8,498
    well - ok - ugliest - yes it's up there ... but it is function over form (disc brakes though?)


    I know and have seen a few ppl on fancy/expensive bikes - TT and/or road - without the legs/lungs (or hope of achieving either) to go with it.... but then on TT it's mostly a race against your own best time - so why not get the best kit you can afford? On the road - I'm sure it's a more rewarding bike to ride than my "cheap" one.... and actually, the efficiencies may just allow them to keep up ...
    by allmeans have a laugh & giggle - but be thankful that they're at least out there on their bikes ...
  • ugo.santalucia
    ugo.santalucia Posts: 28,313
    I was hoping this thread evolved into a gallery of monstruosities, rather than an apology of the triathlete...

    there is no apology for being a triathlete, they'll have to live with their curse...

    Now, to those ugly (and possibly expensive) bikes...
    left the forum March 2023
  • CitizenLee
    CitizenLee Posts: 2,227
    ugo.santalucia wrote:
    I was hoping this thread evolved into a gallery of monstruosities, rather than an apology of the triathlete...

    there is no apology for being a triathlete, they'll have to live with their curse...

    Now, to those ugly (and possibly expensive) bikes...

    Agreed, now wet's make it so...

    stebles-bike-prototype.jpg

    r28dwo.jpg

    You-can-notice-whether-a-fixie-is-there.jpg
    Current:
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    Cube NuRoad 2018
    Previous:
    2015 Genesis CdF 10, 2014 Cube Hyde Race, 2012 NS Traffic, 2007 Specialized SX Trail, 2005 Specialized Demo 8
  • ugo.santalucia
    ugo.santalucia Posts: 28,313
    Jesus...
    left the forum March 2023
  • slowbike
    slowbike Posts: 8,498
    ugo.santalucia wrote:
    Jesus...

    not sure he had one .... but if he did
    manta5-hydrofoil-bike-designboom01.jpg
  • CitizenLee
    CitizenLee Posts: 2,227
    They guy on the left is thinking "ffs, I knew I should have just bought a kayak and saved myself both money and the embarrassment of being seen on this thing" :)
    Current:
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    Cube NuRoad 2018
    Previous:
    2015 Genesis CdF 10, 2014 Cube Hyde Race, 2012 NS Traffic, 2007 Specialized SX Trail, 2005 Specialized Demo 8
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    That new Ribble Ultra TT/tri bike is utterly . Vomit inducing.

    https://www.ribblecycles.co.uk/bikes/ti ... lon-bikes/
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • ugo.santalucia
    ugo.santalucia Posts: 28,313
    Matthewfalle wrote:
    That new Ribble Ultra TT/tri bike is utterly . Vomit inducing.

    https://www.ribblecycles.co.uk/bikes/ti ... lon-bikes/

    A fraction of the price of the Cervelo though...
    left the forum March 2023
  • darkhairedlord
    darkhairedlord Posts: 7,180
    ugo.santalucia wrote:
    Matthewfalle wrote:
    That new Ribble Ultra TT/tri bike is utterly . Vomit inducing.

    https://www.ribblecycles.co.uk/bikes/ti ... lon-bikes/

    A fraction of the price of the Cervelo though...
    Wow, it looks its been badly crashed into wartburg and glued back together with the wrong parts.
  • pblakeney
    pblakeney Posts: 27,345
    ugo.santalucia wrote:
    Is this the one? Who's going to buy that shoot?

    Cervelo-P5X-eTap-Triathlon-Bike-2017.jpg
    Looks like plenty of storage space for the battery.
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • chippyk
    chippyk Posts: 529
    Fenix wrote:
    If the bike was fast then I don't really care about what it looks like. It's just for racing - not for cafe stops and admiring it.

    And yes - if you buy it - you'd better have the legs to go with it...

    Saw a bloke on an S Works Venge with ZIPP 404s the other day, he must have been 25 stone, my 13 year old dropped him on 300m hill.
  • jgsi
    jgsi Posts: 5,062
    ChippyK wrote:
    Fenix wrote:
    If the bike was fast then I don't really care about what it looks like. It's just for racing - not for cafe stops and admiring it.

    And yes - if you buy it - you'd better have the legs to go with it...

    Saw a bloke on an S Works Venge with ZIPP 404s the other day, he must have been 25 stone, my 13 year old dropped him on 300m hill.

    That being your personal view of the situation coming across as a negative.
    Personally as long as mamils appreciate how to ride and improve, they can buy a whole lot more expensive bike than a run of the mill Venge - WHICH also comes into the ugly class as do all aero fat frames.
    Combined with cranksets like the 4 spoke Shimano or eTap fugly batteries hanging off the derailleurs, the design of the functionality is in a class of its own at the moment.
    I need to open up a thread for the prettiest bike currently available as I am possibly looking to replace my own functional CAAD10 with something more aesthetic in the medium term.
    I'll leave it up for debate whether something like this
    117091-446113_1_Supersize.jpg
    can be deemed pleasing to the eye.
    For me , it is out of proportion also the fork line has that disturbing interface with the steerer tube . This bike is not alone in showing these design traits so I am not picking out the FELT as the only culprit.
  • letap73
    letap73 Posts: 1,608
    I raise your Cervelo with this Colnago:

    colnago-c-35-carbon-gold-bicycle-50-1.jpg

    Yours for $120000 - see link below:

    https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Colnago-C-35 ... SwoudW87Ac
  • Pituophis
    Pituophis Posts: 1,025
    letap73 wrote:
    I raise your Cervelo with this Colnago:

    colnago-c-35-carbon-gold-bicycle-50-1.jpg

    Yours for $120000 - see link below:

    https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Colnago-C-35 ... SwoudW87Ac

    It looked alright until it got caught out in the rain! That's carbon fibre for you. :shock:

    (Already poor joke killed by the "Steel -vintage" I've just spotted written underneath. :roll: )
  • graeme_s-2
    graeme_s-2 Posts: 3,382
    Matthewfalle wrote:
    That new Ribble Ultra TT/tri bike is utterly . Vomit inducing.

    https://www.ribblecycles.co.uk/bikes/ti ... lon-bikes/
    Yikes! That's a design only a wind tunnel could love. Really unpleasant looking.
  • shortfall
    shortfall Posts: 3,288
    With apologies to the owner of this bike if he happens to be a forum member, I nominate this Rourke. It would doubtless qualify for the eBay Monstrosities thread if it hasn't already appeared.

    2jbquz5.jpg
  • ugo.santalucia
    ugo.santalucia Posts: 28,313
    Nowhere near ugly enough, sorry... that's just a setup for someone with a bad back... don't be a snob :-)
    left the forum March 2023
  • amrushton
    amrushton Posts: 1,312
    there is a bike from the Motorola days that had a crazily angled seat tube

    https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=motor ... kTN-fNeXvM:
  • drlodge
    drlodge Posts: 4,826
    Wow, I do hope that Rourke wasn't set up in the shop like that!!!!
    WyndyMilla Massive Attack | Rourke 953 | Condor Italia 531 Pro | Boardman CX Pro | DT Swiss RR440 Tubeless Wheels
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  • jif1969
    jif1969 Posts: 29
    Have to try very hard to beat the Softride Powerwing from around 2000 when it comes to being ugly :shock:

    2000%20Softride%20PowerWing.jpg
  • jif1969
    jif1969 Posts: 29
    Although this Gitane made for Lauren Fignon to do the hour record could be the winner

    gitane-clm.jpg
  • cougie
    cougie Posts: 22,512
    amrushton wrote:
    there is a bike from the Motorola days that had a crazily angled seat tube

    https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=motor ... kTN-fNeXvM:

    That was Steve Bauer's Idea for a comfier bike for Roubaix. It didn't catch on
  • cougie
    cougie Posts: 22,512
    I quite like the Softride. It was innovative anyway.

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