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Irritating & grating phrases and words used in the work place

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  • thistle_thistle_ Posts: 4,978
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    Anyone played buzzword bingo? Passes very quickly with US colleagues.
    Used to do this where I worked previously. Worked really well because often the manager was in another office and everyone had phoned into a teleconference so people were muting their phones and crying with laughter at times with some of the things he was coming out with.
  • rolf_frolf_f Posts: 16,015
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    Anyone played buzzword bingo? Passes very quickly with US colleagues.
    Used to do this where I worked previously. Worked really well because often the manager was in another office and everyone had phoned into a teleconference so people were muting their phones and crying with laughter at times with some of the things he was coming out with.

    I'm sure he was just getting his ducks in alignment.
    Faster than a tent.......
  • kingstongrahamkingstongraham Posts: 15,133
    john80 wrote:
    Sorry guys but I am too busy to give a full list of terrible phrases as I am giving it 110%:)

    I don't have a problem with that - most of the time I don't work at capacity, so if I gave it 110%, I'd maybe hit 80%.

    Depends what it is 110% of doesn't it?
  • meursaultmeursault Posts: 1,433
    john80 wrote:
    Sorry guys but I am too busy to give a full list of terrible phrases as I am giving it 110%:)

    I don't have a problem with that - most of the time I don't work at capacity, so if I gave it 110%, I'd maybe hit 80%.

    Depends what it is 110% of doesn't it?

    I work 60% of the time, ALL the time.
    Superstition sets the whole world in flames; philosophy quenches them.

    Voltaire
  • kingstongrahamkingstongraham Posts: 15,133
    meursault wrote:
    john80 wrote:
    Sorry guys but I am too busy to give a full list of terrible phrases as I am giving it 110%:)

    I don't have a problem with that - most of the time I don't work at capacity, so if I gave it 110%, I'd maybe hit 80%.

    Depends what it is 110% of doesn't it?

    I work 60% of the time, ALL the time.

    24x7, 365.
  • All of the above become even more of a piss take when said with an inflection.
    If you have started to talk with an inflection you are without a doubt a censored .
    " I came to work this morning on a bus " ? , by adding that questioning tone to the end of every sentence makes me cringe.
    STOP IT . What you are saying is no more interesting by being a censored .
    Thank you.
  • bobmcstuffbobmcstuff Posts: 9,398
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    It was always hard to stop former US colleagues from referring to VAT as 'VAT tax'. They almost started to understand sarcasm when I asked them with a straight face what they wanted to know about 'value added tax tax', to give it it's full name.

    And don't get me started on ATM machines.
    And PIN numbers...

    We get the DSEAR Regulations. The Dangerous Substances and Explosive Atmospheres Regulations Regulations, apparently.
  • dinyulldinyull Posts: 2,962
    If someone calls the office saying "Hi, it's only Steve" there is someone here who will reply "Hi only Steve".
  • verylonglegsverylonglegs Posts: 3,552
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    It was always hard to stop former US colleagues from referring to VAT as 'VAT tax'. They almost started to understand sarcasm when I asked them with a straight face what they wanted to know about 'value added tax tax', to give it it's full name.

    And don't get me started on ATM machines.
    And PIN numbers...

    LCD display can be added to those as well.
  • rick_chaseyrick_chasey Posts: 53,865 Lives Here
    Should have made better acronyms then ;).
  • FishFishFishFish Posts: 2,152
    Revenge being sweet you need to know words to throw back at them.

    If someone shows you a graph then use the phrase '...seems to be exhibiting heteroscadasticity..' and then '...but it might not completely invalidate your argument...'. This will deflate them.

    Also when getting annoyed with your boss (v frequent in my case - wonder why) then say '...but your argument is adumbrate ' Adumbrate is an excellent word and no-one knows the meaning of it but people pretend to know what it means. Saying it with different tonal inflections (good phrase) means you can get away with suggesting diametrically opposite meanings.

    If you then stab them then you will have conclusively won your argument - even if you were not having one!
    ...take your pickelf on your holibobs.... :D

    jeez :roll:
  • FishFishFishFish Posts: 2,152
    ps calling someone's ipod a grammaphone annoys the tits off most people too
    ...take your pickelf on your holibobs.... :D

    jeez :roll:
  • bobmcstuffbobmcstuff Posts: 9,398
    Google tells me that adumbrate has two totally different meanings, one of which might be a negative description and the other might be positive, but only in hindsight.

    One meaning is when something is only presented in outline (pretty good if someone's argument isn't thorough), but the other is about foreshadowing future events which would presumably be a good thing if they got it right. I suppose they could fail to adumbrate the event.

    I might start using the second meaning in meetings for when I have correctly identified that a plan will go t1ts up but everyone ignored me anyway.

    New word of the day.
  • rjsterryrjsterry Posts: 19,516
    bobmcstuff wrote:
    Google tells me that adumbrate has two totally different meanings, one of which might be a negative description and the other might be positive, but only in hindsight.

    One meaning is when something is only presented in outline (pretty good if someone's argument isn't thorough), but the other is about foreshadowing future events which would presumably be a good thing if they got it right. I suppose they could fail to adumbrate the event.

    I might start using the second meaning in meetings for when I have correctly identified that a plan will go t1ts up but everyone ignored me anyway.

    New word of the day.

    And importantly, it is a verb, not a noun. I feel all clever, now.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Liberal metropolitan, remoaner, traitor, "sympathiser", etc.
  • figbatfigbat Posts: 680
    Should have made better acronyms then ;).

    They are not all acronyms, many are merely initials. Acronyms are initials that form a speakable word - PIN, COSHH and so on. Some go on to become words in their own right: laser, radar, Tardis.

    Many people complain that our business is full of TLAs - oh how we laugh when I tell them that TLA is, ironically, not a three letter acronym.
    Cube Reaction GTC Pro 29 for the lumpy stuff
    Cannondale Synapse alloy with 'guards for the winter roads
    Fuji Altamira 2.7 for the summer roads
    Trek 830 Mountain Track frame turned into a gravel bike - for anywhere & everywhere
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 44,910
    figbat wrote:
    Should have made better acronyms then ;).

    They are not all acronyms, many are merely initials. Acronyms are initials that form a speakable word - PIN, COSHH and so on. Some go on to become words in their own right: laser, radar, Tardis.

    Many people complain that our business is full of TLAs - oh how we laugh when I tell them that TLA is, ironically, not a three letter acronym.
    As acronyms go I quite like BOBFOC, although that's not strictly business speak.
    Whippet
    Bruiser
    Panzer
    Commuter

    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • People who speak in " T.L.A " s , triple letter abbreviations. Like they haven't got time to simply say what they mean ,
  • team47bteam47b Posts: 6,424
    Should have made better acronyms then ;).

    I agree, the correct response to irritating phrases should always be...

    There We Are Then! :D
    my isetta is a 300cc bike
  • FishFishFishFish Posts: 2,152
    bobmcstuff wrote:
    Google tells me that adumbrate has two totally different meanings, one of which might be a negative description and the other might be positive, but only in hindsight.

    One meaning is when something is only presented in outline (pretty good if someone's argument isn't thorough), but the other is about foreshadowing future events which would presumably be a good thing if they got it right. I suppose they could fail to adumbrate the event.

    I might start using the second meaning in meetings for when I have correctly identified that a plan will go t1ts up but everyone ignored me anyway.

    New word of the day.

    Best definition is saying only the shadow of what you mean - true but incomplete.

    After getting the test results your doctor says - 'your heart is ok'. He is being adumbrate because although that is true you have stage 5 liver cancer.
    ...take your pickelf on your holibobs.... :D

    jeez :roll:
  • rjsterryrjsterry Posts: 19,516
    FishFish wrote:
    bobmcstuff wrote:
    Google tells me that adumbrate has two totally different meanings, one of which might be a negative description and the other might be positive, but only in hindsight.

    One meaning is when something is only presented in outline (pretty good if someone's argument isn't thorough), but the other is about foreshadowing future events which would presumably be a good thing if they got it right. I suppose they could fail to adumbrate the event.

    I might start using the second meaning in meetings for when I have correctly identified that a plan will go t1ts up but everyone ignored me anyway.

    New word of the day.

    Best definition is saying only the shadow of what you mean - true but incomplete.

    After getting the test results your doctor says - 'your heart is ok'. He is being adumbrate because although that is true you have stage 5 liver cancer.
    Surely he is adumbrating or has adumbrated if it is a verb.

    Just spotted my phone's auto-correct is learning something new as well.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Liberal metropolitan, remoaner, traitor, "sympathiser", etc.
  • awaveyawavey Posts: 2,368
    "steel thread" is winding me up at the moment, as in "have you got that steel thread yet?" or " we need a steel thread for this piece of work", what most normal people just call a plan.

    maybe its all an IT thing, as I seem to listen to this kind of mangled english all day some of its American imported from consultancy firms, who talk about maximising their synergies, lining up all the ducks in a row, saluting the flagpole and admiring the helicopter view above the wood whilst going forward and having an all hands stand up (or scrum) meeting brown bag session.

    some of its actually an Indo-English idiom, like doing the needful, and kindly revert.

    I just cringe now when I find it slips into my normal non work related conversations,
  • First.AspectFirst.Aspect Posts: 5,862
    Could well be an IT thing. In all the firms I've worked for, IT has been like the school playground filled with overgrown kids.

    Sometimes their "I know what this jargon means and you don't, na na" culture spills out to people with things to do that include, for example, earning the company money to pay their salaries. Oddly, said people can get quite irritated with them.
  • ProssPross Posts: 26,342
    'One the bus' was a favourite of my old MD. When he called me in for a promotion he asked me if I was 'on the bus' first. It was fun using it back in my exit interview and saying the reason I left was the driver took the bus in the wrong direction and picked up some undesirable passengers.

    'Lean' has always seemed to me to be a way of labelling doing things in a common sense way but then companies are charging fortunes for people to go on their Project Management courses where they get told things that anyone with a bit of experience in their sector should be able to work out for themselves. In my own field project management is something I just consider a part of the job like the design process, drawing or report writing but now the trend is to bring an extra company in to do just that role which usually involves spending all day on the phone acting important and using all these BS management phrases.
  • laurentianlaurentian Posts: 1,790
    We were the major subcontractor to a client of ours working for his client on a construction project. Late in the day, our client came to us with a farily major change to the design demanding it was done straight away and saying that his "client had a low expectation of price variance"
    Wilier Izoard XP
  • rjsterryrjsterry Posts: 19,516
    laurentian wrote:
    We were the major subcontractor to a client of ours working for his client on a construction project. Late in the day, our client came to us with a farily major change to the design demanding it was done straight away and saying that his "client had a low expectation of price variance"
    Don't they always.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Liberal metropolitan, remoaner, traitor, "sympathiser", etc.
  • ProssPross Posts: 26,342
    I trust you told them to reappraise their aspirations with a realistic appreciation of fiscal practices.
  • rick_chaseyrick_chasey Posts: 53,865 Lives Here
    I do often find the euphemisms for pay odd.

    "Compensation" or "remuneration". I mean, grammatically they're correct, but what everyone means is "pay".

    "What's your compensation at the moment" as opposed to "how much were you paid last year?"


    People react differently to those two questions.
  • bobmcstuffbobmcstuff Posts: 9,398
    Pross wrote:
    'Lean' has always seemed to me to be a way of labelling doing things in a common sense way but then companies are charging fortunes for people to go on their Project Management courses where they get told things that anyone with a bit of experience in their sector should be able to work out for themselves. In my own field project management is something I just consider a part of the job like the design process, drawing or report writing but now the trend is to bring an extra company in to do just that role which usually involves spending all day on the phone acting important and using all these BS management phrases.

    I think it depends on the scale of the projects, or it should depend on that. If you're bringing in dedicated PMs for small jobs that seems a bit pointless.

    My experience is basically the same as yours (managing my own projects), but in my old company we did have some dedicated PMs for the really big jobs. There were a couple of larger projects where I was effectively just project managing them in the end, as they had lots of different bits which needed bringing together (and I wouldn't have been able to do all the technical work myself even if I'd had the time).
  • bobmcstuffbobmcstuff Posts: 9,398
    I do often find the euphemisms for pay odd.

    "Compensation" or "remuneration". I mean, grammatically they're correct, but what everyone means is "pay".

    "What's your compensation at the moment" as opposed to "how much were you paid last year?"


    People react differently to those two questions.

    IME compensation and remuneration seem to be expanded to include non-cash rewards? Usually accompanied by "package" - remuneration package etc.. Whereas pay is usually just cash, no?

    Probably an element of BS too.
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