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Brides

GiantMikeGiantMike Posts: 3,139
edited February 2014 in The bottom bracket
Right, I've given up on the dolphin thing so I have some spare time. I thought I'd get myself a Russian Bride. This one took my eye.

foto1.jpg

Full details here

Before I blow my fortune on her, has anybody got any tips or advice? Or can you suggest a better bride? Must be cheap and cheerful.
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  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Granted she's not too shabby looking but you've got to see what the mother looks like to see what you're letting yourself in for in a few years, well this is her old dear and this was her reaction when she heard you wanted to knock her daughter up :wink:

    image.jpg
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • tlw1tlw1 Posts: 18,447
    no, she only drinks socially
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 42,186
    Thai bride?

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRsaYqjuF6cIoZ4v6wsP1axXT81iWUMY5xA5-btilBjSmyzkS4zcg
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  • Mikey23Mikey23 Posts: 5,028
    Amazes me how many typical cornish farming widowers now have young, sexy Philippino or Thai brides. It seems to work but it seems odd nevertheless
  • slowmartslowmart Posts: 3,981
    Remember Mike when you are censored its better if you are the one doing the censored rather than the one that is being censored .


    Don't forget to send money for a passport, flight ticket and sick elderly mother
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

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  • slowmartslowmart Posts: 3,981
    The swear filter on here is censored censored
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

    Desmond Tutu
  • GiantMikeGiantMike Posts: 3,139
    Will I get a receipt so I can send it back if it's the wrong size or broken?
  • slowmartslowmart Posts: 3,981
    Mikey23 wrote:
    Amazes me how many typical cornish farming widowers now have young, sexy Philippino or Thai brides. It seems to work but it seems odd nevertheless



    Well you have to open up the gene pool somehow down there. :wink:
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

    Desmond Tutu
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 42,186
    slowmart wrote:
    Mikey23 wrote:
    Amazes me how many typical cornish farming widowers now have young, sexy Philippino or Thai brides. It seems to work but it seems odd nevertheless



    Well you have to open up the gene pool somehow down there. :wink:
    High Six!
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    Bruiser
    Panzer
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    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • "About Myself: I am intelligent, sexapill, communicativ, not spoiled girl who see the differnce between good and bad and try to be in harmony with other people and the whole world!"

    WTF does "sexapill" mean? Is Viagra a must?
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260

    WTF does "sexapill" mean? Is Viagra a must?

    She's obviously heard about GiantMike's lack of ability :wink:
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • GiantMikeGiantMike Posts: 3,139
    arran77 wrote:

    WTF does "sexapill" mean? Is Viagra a must?

    She's obviously heard about GiantMike's lack of ability :wink:
    Oi, I resent that comment, I have loads of ability. Well, I won't know for sure until I actually do it, but I bet I'd be great at it.
  • GiantMikeGiantMike Posts: 3,139
    I'm liking наталия's boots.

    Just got to get some cash together from Wonga then I'm off to Volgodonsk. Sounds very exotic.
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    GiantMike wrote:
    I'm liking наталия's boots.

    Drinking - Rarely
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    I'm not sure she's a genuine Russian ya know :wink:
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • capt_slogcapt_slog Posts: 3,387
    She looks very nice.

    Check her teeth though.


    The older I get, the better I was.

  • upperoilcanupperoilcan Posts: 1,180
    Mikey23 wrote:
    Amazes me how many typical cornish farming widowers now have young, sexy Philippino or Thai brides. It seems to work but it seems odd nevertheless


    In fairness you cant blame em,the state of British women has gone downhill fast.

    They are getting as fat as houses.

    Although when i see Englishmen with a Thai bride the 1st thing that comes into my head is " Youv'e paid for that"
    Cervelo S5 Ultegra Di2.
  • goonzgoonz Posts: 3,106
    Just hope there are no links to the Russian maffia or a oil tycoon. If she gets word home she has been mistreated it could mean the end for you.
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  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Mikey23 wrote:
    Amazes me how many typical cornish farming widowers now have young, sexy Philippino or Thai brides. It seems to work but it seems odd nevertheless


    In fairness you cant blame em,the state of British women has gone downhill fast.

    They are getting as fat as houses.

    Although when i see Englishmen with a Thai bride the 1st thing that comes into my head is " Youv'e paid for that"

    You always end up 'paying' for a wife one way or another so you may as well get a fit one :wink:
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • Paulie WPaulie W Posts: 1,492
    Years ago I lived in a small remote Welsh town. I was shopping in the local supermarket one Sunday morning and encountered a local farmer probably in his 50s, dressed as you would expect a Welsh farmer to dress and smelling the same. He was accompanied by a lady who I can describe only as an African Goddess: tall, full figured yet slim, maginificent hair and stunning features, dressed in 'tribal clothing'. They were holding hands and she was directing him what to purchase in the fruit and veg aisle. My only explanation for this couple was/is mail order bride although I'm sure there are alterantive explanations.
  • goonzgoonz Posts: 3,106
    I might just be me, but Thai just doesnt do it for me.
    Scott Speedster S20 Roadie for Speed
    Specialized Hardrock MTB for Lumps
    Specialized Langster SS for Ease
    Cinelli Mash Bolt Fixed for Pain
    n+1 is well and truly on track
    Strava http://app.strava.com/athletes/1608875
  • Paulie W wrote:
    Years ago I lived in a small remote Welsh town. I was shopping in the local supermarket one Sunday morning and encountered a local farmer probably in his 50s, dressed as you would expect a Welsh farmer to dress and smelling the same. He was accompanied by a lady who I can describe only as an African Goddess: tall, full figured yet slim, maginificent hair and stunning features, dressed in 'tribal clothing'. They were holding hands and she was directing him what to purchase in the fruit and veg aisle. My only explanation for this couple was/is mail order bride although I'm sure there are alterantive explanations.

    Have you not seen the Kronenbourg adverts with Eric Cantona? Farmers are more in demand than footballers with the opposite sex .
  • She could have been the ex wife of a recently deposed South African leader we all keep reading emails about, you never know she could have millions trapped in the bank that she needed help transferring to another account.
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  • dave02dave02 Posts: 325
    Has she still got your EYE
  • PituophisPituophis Posts: 1,025
    I don't see the problem with mail order brides, if I were a middle aged, balding.........wait a minute :shock: :D
  • Mikey23Mikey23 Posts: 5,028
    My missus would definitely kick off... Women can be so unreasonable
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Mikey23 wrote:
    My missus would definitely kick off... Women can be so unreasonable

    Why don't you get her a mail order Russian groom :wink:
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • GiantMikeGiantMike Posts: 3,139
    Right. Finally bit the bullet and bought one. I have sent a cheque and she should be despatched in a week or so, once she's had her jabs.

    As she's 42 she was quite cheap. £11,482 including shipping and local taxes.

    3838p.jpg
    Looks good for 42 (probably all that Beauty training) and has one grey and one blue eye, so she should be easy to find it she goes missing.

    Full details here

    To make her feel at home I have ordered 2 tons of potatoes and a crate of vodka. Any other tips?
  • mm1mm1 Posts: 1,101
    In fairness you cant blame em,the state of British women has gone downhill fast.

    They are getting as fat as houses.

    ...and those who aren't are p*ssed on white wine...or psychotic...or both
  • MattC59MattC59 Posts: 5,433
    mm1 wrote:
    In fairness you cant blame em,the state of British women has gone downhill fast.

    They are getting as fat as houses.

    ...and those who aren't are p*ssed on white wine...or psychotic...or both

    I find "fat as butter" to be a slightly less inflamatory description :D
    Science adjusts it’s beliefs based on what’s observed.
    Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved
  • random manrandom man Posts: 1,514
    GiantMike wrote:
    Right. Finally bit the bullet and bought one. I have sent a cheque and she should be despatched in a week or so, once she's had her jabs.

    As she's 42 she was quite cheap. £11,482 including shipping and local taxes.

    3838p.jpg
    Looks good for 42 (probably all that Beauty training) and has one grey and one blue eye, so she should be easy to find it she goes missing.

    Full details here

    To make her feel at home I have ordered 2 tons of potatoes and a crate of vodka. Any other tips?

    She looks great, and she's got a 21 year old daughter, so play your cards right and you could get very lucky before she robs you of all your worldly goods :D
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