Lanterne Rouge 2013

No_Ta_Doctor

With the first stage over and everyone receiving the same time, this one is still right up for grabs.
All 198 riders crossed the line, though there are a few who are unlikely to start stage 2.

Today's nominal holder is the rider noted in 198th place:

198 Amaël Moinard (Fra) BMC Racing Team

Should Marcel Kittel crash outside the final kilometres he could feasibly go from yellow jersey to lantern rouge in a single stage today.

PS - yes, this thread is intended to fish Tusher out! :-)

skylla

What's a Tour without Tusher?

2009:
viewtopic.php?f=40002&t=12634180

2010:
viewtopic.php?f=40002&t=12712693

2011:


2012:
viewtopic.php?t=12862242&p=17699168

takethehighroad

G takes the lead today, although he's level on time with a group of 58 others

No_Ta_Doctor

TakeTheHighRoad wrote:

G takes the lead today, although he's level on time with a group of 58 others

I can see that officially Ted King was the lanterne rouge from yesterday.

I'll have to do better at this :-( Tusher would never make mistakes like that.

menchovʹsstabilisers

I'd hate for Tusher to miss the cut-off and be time-barred from this, but hopefully she'll still be calling in late in true Lanterne style.

hammerite

Bouhanni and Veelers have turned it into a two horse race for the next little while I think.

No_Ta_Doctor

hammerite wrote:

Bouhanni and Veelers have turned it into a two horse race for the next little while I think.

Bouhanni has the edge on finishing positions, just.

Tusher

Merci Monsieurs, merci

(Waves from a lounger by a swimming pool somewhere in the Vendee)

I did think about starting the annual Lanterne Rouge thread before I left la belle Ecosse but that was over a week ago and I thought it was too early.


And I didn't think I would have regular interweb access either, to be honest.

As it is, I'm having to sit in bars and cafes buying French coffee (mmmmm), smoking French cigarettes, gobbling French patisserie, reading L'Equippe and generally living the dream.

At the end of the week, we'll head north cycling and camping, and I CAN FINALLY WATCH THE TOUR!!!!!



So I would be ever so grateful if you lovely people could keep the LR thread going for me.


Merci and au revoir!

No_Ta_Doctor

Tusher wrote:

Merci Monsieurs, merci

(Waves from a lounger by a swimming pool somewhere in the Vendee)

I did think about starting the annual Lanterne Rouge thread before I left la belle Ecosse but that was over a week ago and I thought it was too early.


And I didn't think I would have regular interweb access either, to be honest.

As it is, I'm having to sit in bars and cafes buying French coffee (mmmmm), smoking French cigarettes, gobbling French patisserie, reading L'Equippe and generally living the dream.

At the end of the week, we'll head north cycling and camping, and I CAN FINALLY WATCH THE TOUR!!!!!



So I would be ever so grateful if you lovely people could keep the LR thread going for me.


Merci and au revoir!

It would be an honour to do so, and hopefully will provide some comfort for you in what is obviously a horrible time for you....

No_Ta_Doctor

After 5 stages Tom Veelers has a good 5 and a half minute advantage on his nearest rival, Saxo's Benjamin Gonzalez.

195. VEELERS Tom 199 TEAM ARGOS-SHIMANO 19h 05' 28'' + 46' 13''

ellerslierd

Argos Shimano are doing an excellent job defending last year's performance in the team classification too. What with the casual TTT maybe they are going for a record deficit.... or is that advantage?

21. BEL OMEGA PHARMA-QUICK STEP 54h 23' 28'' + 17' 35''
22. NED TEAM ARGOS-SHIMANO 54h 59' 23'' + 53' 30''

No_Ta_Doctor

Tom Veelers keeps his lead, despite only managing to gap The Gorilla by 5 seconds today.

191. NED VEELERS Tom 199 TEAM ARGOS-SHIMANO 23h 04' 35'' + 46' 18''

Meanwhile some good Astana Kazah teamwork sees them cut the lead and place two riders in contention.

189. KAZ BAZAYEV Assan 62 ASTANA PRO TEAM 23h 03' 09'' + 44' 52''
190. KAZ MURAVYEV Dmitriy 69 ASTANA PRO TEAM 23h 03' 58'' + 45' 41''

The plucky challenge of Britain's Geraint Thomas seems to be fading though, blighted by apparent recovery from injury.

186. GBR THOMAS Geraint 9 SKY PROCYCLING 23h 01' 20'' + 43' 03''

No_Ta_Doctor

Late update after yesterday's stage 7
Tom Veelers (who I really want to call Ned Veelers now) keeps the lanterne, for now. Worth noting his wonderful 1.1.11 seconds advantage on the yellow jersey.

187.(+1) NED VEELERS Tom 199 TEAM ARGOS-SHIMANO 31h 38' 17'' + 01h 01' 11''

Geraint manages to stay in the top ten, but the mountains could put an end to any real challenge.

No_Ta_Doctor

Ned Veelers is still hanging in there, the Astana boys just can't seem to lose enough time.

187. NED VEELERS Tom 199 TEAM ARGOS-SHIMANO 33h 48' 13'' + 01h 32' 18''

But in a remarkable day in the mountains Geraint manages to make up a few placings, to a podium place in the competition!

185. GBR THOMAS Geraint 9 SKY PROCYCLING 33h 44' 58'' + 01h 29' 03''

rob churchill

G loses his podium place, clearly a challenging day all round for Team Sky.

No_Ta_Doctor

rob churchill wrote:

G loses his podium place, clearly a challenging day all round for Team Sky.

I fear that with Kiriyenka missing the cut G won't be allowed the leeway for a proper challenge on the lanterne rouge.

Ned Steelers (nee Tom) is still hanging in there, gripping the lanterne with all his strength.

takethehighroad

I read a fascinating piece in the latest Procylcing abuoot the Lanterne Rouge in 1979 1980.

No_Ta_Doctor

After stage 10.

Poor Ned Steelers suffered a double disappointment yesterday, not only did he have a date with the tarmac, he lost his lanterne rouge position by almost three minutes, slipping to fourth place. Unlucky Ned. We advise getting taken out earlier, before the 3km flag.

Our new challenger is
182. KAZ MURAVYEV Dmitriy 69 ASTANA PRO TEAM 43h 53' 56'' + 02h 01' 13''

Kazza, as Dmitriy will now be known, has just over a minute on plucky Canadian Tufty Swine.
181. CAN TUFT Svein 189 ORICA GREENEDGE 43h 52' 50'' + 02h 00' 07''

Meanwhile, G valiantly holds an 8th place, but with all hope of a podium finish seemingly gone, barring a lucky crash.
175. GBR THOMAS Geraint 9 SKY PROCYCLING 43h 45' 49'' + 01h 53' 06''

As the race hots up a good slow effort in today's TT could be decisive.

No_Ta_Doctor

TT Live Update!

Tufty Swine has completely blown in the TT, setting the fastest time of the 23 riders so far.
Ned Veelers has taken a whopping 4.29 out of him and Kazza Muravyev 3.48. It doesn't look like our Canadian can maintain his challenge!

No_Ta_Doctor

Despite only getting 5'23'' on stage winner Tony Martin, Dimitriy "Kazza" Murray, cousin of Andy, still holds a respectable lead in the lanterne rouge.

182. KAZ MURAVYEV Dmitriy 69 ASTANA PRO TEAM 46h 51' 56'' + 02h 06' 24''

Ned "Flanders" Steeler gains a precious 27 seconds on him to regain his 2nd place, 2'14'' behind. That's a lot of time, but if Ned can fall out of le autobus and still make the time cut in the mountains then he could well make it up.

Canadian Tufty Swine's disatrously quick TT sees his hopes effectively dashed this year.

Meanwhile, G slips out of the top 10 with a poorly paced TT, pipped by the geriatric fellow ex-trackie Stuart O'Grady. At nearly ten minutes O'Grady has little chance of a podium place, but with age and experience he can't be written off yet. Realistically though Stuart must be aiming for a top ten finish, in what must surely be his last tour before they put him to bed with a Horlicks.

Bo Duke

No tA Doctor wrote:

Meanwhile, G valiantly holds an 8th place, but with all hope of a podium finish seemingly gone, barring a lucky crash.
175. GBR THOMAS Geraint 9 SKY PROCYCLING 43h 45' 49'' + 01h 53' 06''

As the race hots up a good slow effort in today's TT could be decisive.

G's been seen buzzing in and out in front of Cavendish in a grand effort to attract an elbow. Chapeau, he seems to have refound his motivation.

No_Ta_Doctor

Bo Duke wrote:

No tA Doctor wrote:

Meanwhile, G valiantly holds an 8th place, but with all hope of a podium finish seemingly gone, barring a lucky crash.
175. GBR THOMAS Geraint 9 SKY PROCYCLING 43h 45' 49'' + 01h 53' 06''

As the race hots up a good slow effort in today's TT could be decisive.

G's been seen buzzing in and out in front of Cavendish in a grand effort to attract an elbow. Chapeau, he seems to have refound his motivation.

Good stuff indeed, as it looks like his challenge was seriously dented by his unfortunate recovery. If he can make sure he gets into the autobus every day and can maybe engineer a crash to lose a few extra seconds he could still do well, though I think his podium chances are very low. There's some very good competition around him.

No_Ta_Doctor

Update after stage 12
Kazza puting in a strong ride again, finishing 3 minutes down on Kittel's sprint, alongside a large bunch.

182. KAZ MURAVYEV Dmitriy 69 ASTANA PRO TEAM 49h 28' 37'' + 02h 09' 24''

Ned Veelers loses ground again as his boss needed him at the sharp end for the sprint. Memo to Ned: Must crash earlier.

Today's stunner though is the re-emergence of Tufty Swine, who managed to take over a minute out of Kazza's lead to move back into second place. With a recovery like that after such a shocking performance in the time trial some will undoubtedly be questioning if it was achieved by honest means.

Geraint-watch: didn't even manage to take Kittel for a second. Koen de Kort moves ahead of him into tenth by a solid minute and a half.

Bo Duke

I'm flummuxed by G's sudden spurt up the rankings, I hope he's not started taking Vitamin C.

rick_chasey

Bo Duke wrote:

I'm flummuxed by G's sudden spurt up the rankings, I hope he's not started taking Vitamin C.

Stop it.

Bo Duke

Rick Chasey wrote:

Bo Duke wrote:

I'm flummuxed by G's sudden spurt up the rankings, I hope he's not started taking Vitamin C.

Stop it.

Where's your sense of humour? In the context of winning the LR for being the worst, the reference to stepping up to vitamin C was meant as genuine and humourous. GC contenders would be on whatever they were/are but LR riders would peak on vitamin C ! (ie not the brightest lights on the christmas tree etc..)

If we can't have some humour in this thread then there's not a lot left is there? :shock:

rick_chasey

Got to say something funny before you judge someone's sense of humour.

No_Ta_Doctor

Rick Chasey wrote:

Got to say something funny before you judge someone's sense of humour.

I'm as bored as anyone of the doping accusations on the spoiler threads, but I'm with Bo on this one. Just a mild joke, moderately amusing, nothing sinister.

Besides which, it's pretty much only him and me actually posting anything on this thread, and I'm not entirely sure why I bother.

Richmond Racer

No tA Doctor wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Got to say something funny before you judge someone's sense of humour.

I'm as bored as anyone of the doping accusations on the spoiler threads, but I'm with Bo on this one. Just a mild joke, moderately amusing, nothing sinister.

Besides which, it's pretty much only him and me actually posting anything on this thread, and I'm not entirely sure why I bother.

Hey, I like your Lanterne Rouge updates 8)

LutherB

I'm enjoying the thread too so keep it going guys!

No_Ta_Doctor

Cheers. It's good to know that the several minutes I spend on this every day isn't entirely wasted :-)